Your Late Sunday Afternoon NFL Games Open Thread

Atl/Den-I like this matchup-the #1 O in a ton of categories versus a fantastic D. I’ve no doubt that rb Freeman will find little to no running room so it’ll be up to qb Ryan to find Julio. I’m sure he’ll give him more than a few jump balls to get after. He seems to win 90% of those battles. Despite his extraordinary ability, the odds of him having back-to-back games with 300 yds receiving appears slim. The only other option would seem to be giving the rock to rb Coleman in space. I’ll come clean-I know little about qb Lynch as this is only the second time he’ll be seeing real-game action. For that reason I figure that rb Anderson will have to carry the load O-wise.

Cin/Dal-Rook rb Elliott has come good on his speculated talent so far-he’s got the 2nd most carries and yards and is tied for most runs over 20 yds. (4) This should be a nice test for him because the Bengals give up a mere 57 yds on the ground average-wise and have yet to surrender a rush TD. Kinda impressive. Something’s gotta give here ’cause Dallas has the most rushing TD’s so far. On the surface this seems like a game that might be played between the 20 yard lines.

Buf/LA-In a nutshell, the worst overall O meets the 28th ranked. You’d think that a team with a back like Gurley could at least run the ball effectively but you’d be Mistaken Von Wrongperson. They’re getting a measley 76 yards per game on the ground. Look for the NFL’s leading tackler, Bills lb Zach Brown to have himself a game. The only reason he’s starting is because highly-touted rook lb Ragland blew out his knee. This would seemingly put the game in the hands of not-even-average qb Keenum which sounds like a losing proposition but the Rammers are 3-1 so what the hell do I know?

SD/Oak-If the scoreboards were still manually operated I’m sure the scorekeeper in this game would blow a rotator cuff or two. The Chargers short history (they’ve blown 3 leads in the last 5 minutes this year) and long history (they’ve lost 9 straight division games) have conspired to convince yours truly that they’ll be buckling under to an up-and-coming Raiders squad. On the bright side, Bolts fans get their very first looky-loo at de Joey Bosa. Players we won’t see? There’s plenty of them including 3/4’s of San Diego’s starting secondary. Ouch. Look for qb Carr to light it up and wr Cooper to get his very first score of the season.

Are you up to speed? LET’S DO THIS!

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Lothar of the Hill People

I purposefully avoided watching the first debate, but I’m oddly looking forward to tonight’s debate. I think Anderson Cooper & Martha Raddatz will be a good combo to keep Trump from snapping and grabbing every pussy in the room.

Brick Meathook

THAT WAS THE BILLSIEST BILLS THING EVER

Spur

Shit….Dallas forced a punt!?!

Unsurprised

Put Matty Ice on a floe.

Sharkbait

Just finished my Fort Point pale ale. Debating on going with a leftover Narragansett summer, or gin and tonic.

Brick Meathook

COUGH SYRUP

Unsurprised

God Almighty, the Bills suck

Col. Duke LaCross

The Ryans hammered back a few too many Coors Lights partying with Quiet Riot at the Rainbow last night.

...

So here’s my plan. I’m going make an Oktoberfest beer. It nice take on a Maerzen with a bit of hoppiness. Then, I’m going to age it in single malt barrels. I’m going to call it “There’s No Such Thing as Scotchtoberfest!” and use the attention I get from being sued by FOX to sell a bunch of it.

So, first thing’s first: how do you make beer?

fleshwound_NPG

How to make beer:

1. go to store
2. buy Bud Light
3. Drink Bud Light, spit it out
4. Say “I will not buy this shit again”
5. Go back to store
6. Buy other beer

...

But how will I get the creators of the Simpsons to sue me if I do that?

Senor Weaselo

I’d call it Scotchtoberfest and then have the ad be “There IS such thing!”

yeah right

Go to this place and ask for my son in law.

He’ll walk you through it.

http://www.southbaybrewingsupply.com/

Unsurprised

Shit. I have no idea what to get next.

Lots of IPAs. I’m drinking a Lagunitas Stoopid Wit now. Thinking about New Belgium Rolle Bolle or Mac & Jack African Amber.

Brick Meathook

VANILLA EXTRACT

Unsurprised

Huh?

Spur

This game is going to finish 87-86 isn’t it?

Redshirt

Now if this Bengal drive can last 25 minutes and end in a touchdown, they’ll have a chance to win.

Senor Weaselo

I’m trying to think how that’s possible, there’d need to be quite a few losses of yardage/3rd down defensive holding combos in there.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Unsurprised

Oakland is appearing to be scarily competent

Sharkbait

If that means Cooperdowns, I’m ok with this.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Seconded

King Hippo

NO goddamned CooperDOWNs!!!

Why does everyone have opposite fantasy side of Hippo today?

We need Emannuel Sanders and the random Cincy TE, along with the usual King Laserface goodness.

Shogun Marcus

Think of teh hippo! WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF TEH HIPPO?!?!

fleshwound_NPG

bah gawd that man has a family, CBS

https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/785207383928680448

King Hippo

I took the home from university kid to the pub to see QuarterPax in action. Wha happen to our defense??

This mango habanero cider (El Chavo by Blake’s outta MI) is mighty interesting, though. May the orange can turn shit around.

Spur

And here comes the Dallas D…hold me. This might get scary.

Sill Bimmons

Not getting any of the late games in my hotel room for some reason (infomercials on CBS and FOX!) and my RZ stream died hours ago.

Fuck. This. Day.

John Difool

Apparently Trump’s comments that have been brought to light this week regarding the grabbing of pu$$ies has seriously demoralized the Cincinnati defense

Spur

Zach Martin for MVP…I should tweet that to PK.

Unsurprised

Reminds me of golden age Simpsons. “And the Raiders because they cheat.”

Spur

Skyline Chili sucks – Zeke

fleshwound_NPG

Bengals are the fastest team in history to ragequit an NFL game

Redshirt

I found my radio. Now I’m going to look for the Bengals Run Defense.

Doktor Zymm

Way back in the day, did Eagles fans throw Leyden jars?

Shogun Marcus

After they drank the contents probably.

Sharkbait

This Ezekiel Elliot character might have a future in this sport/

The Maestro

He’s so good. I just wish that he wasn’t a complete fucking piece of shit garbage heap of a human being.

Unsurprised

That describes pro sports.

Spur

Was it an inne or outee? Inne’s collect lent.

Spur

Salty Eagles fans are the best.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

I don’t know about Arby’s version but Marcellus Wallace there really has me amped to smoke some thick pork belly next weekend.

Unsurprised

“There’s your taste. Back to Denver.”

I love you, Red Zone.

John Difool

Here come Dak Boi !!!

Oh shit, Waddup!

Brick Meathook

“Welcome to Southern California where the NFL is back after a 22 year absence”

Because San Diego is in Mexico

Unsurprised

I’m shocked a good ol’ boy named Lynch is befuddled by all them big words in the National Football League.

Sharkbait

How the fuck ya doin?

Unsurprised

Got pizza and beer. I’m ?

Spur

Alright Bengals here’s to a clean game and no injuries!

Redshirt

I can’t find my radio. I may have to listen to the TV commentators!

Can’t breathe. Walls closing in. Ah! Who put this skin on my arm?!

Senor Weaselo

All right, who put PCP in Redshirt’s Corn Flakes?

Unsurprised

And are you willing to share?

Spur
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m shockingly sober(ish) given that I’ve had six old styles. What’s next?

Sill Bimmons

Is Old Style alcoholic?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What did you call me?

Sill Bimmons

Beer God.

I called you Beer God.

I guess you didn’t hear me right.

Shogun Marcus

That’s not shocking. My grandpa could down a 12 during the day, drive us to dinner, have 4 more mixed with highballs, and get us home without any difficulty.
/not an ideal role model, likely wasn’t human.
//old style not the strongest of beverages.

Unsurprised

Back when the men were men and everyone else was scared.

blackroseMD1

What’s the O/U on how big a lead the Chargers will blow this week?

Spur

Dak has his first interception this game I can feel it.

Senor Weaselo

I feel like that’s a compromise that can be made.

LemonJello

Agreed. Celebrate scoring but not every routine play over the course of the game.

Sill Bimmons

Now THAT’S a lawn we can all work to keep the kids off.

yeah right

I just had a fevered dream where my Vikings beat the shit out of some fictional team from Houston that WASN’T the Oilers.

Stupid acid flashbacks

Unsurprised

It’s a shame the Broncos aren’t playing in Atlanta. People there are used to chants of “Lynch! Lynch!”

Unsurprised

74 yard punt return by Miami? Neat!

I love Red Zone

Don T

BUT THEY GOT PASTED WAHHAHAHAHAHAHhhA
/inhales
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAH

Sill Bimmons

Not a terrible late game slate on paper.

Unsurprised

Quite a cinematic drive by Atlanta

Spur

Let’s Do This. Go Cowboys.

Sill Bimmons
Unsurprised

DAK DAK DAK DAK DAK

ThursdaySkyGoddess

That banner photo.

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I swear to God this is what I just encountered on the front page:

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It really is astonishing how meekly the Jets went shuffling to their loss here.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Does this mean the Jets will inherit the earth?

Senor Weaselo

Hahahaha no.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

FIRST (down Steelers)!

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