Your “Not Tonight Denver, I’ve Got A Headache” Thursday Night NFL Open Thread

The internets are telling me that NFL viewership is down. How much? Enough to worry some wonks, that’s how much. My solution to this problem of team owners only making hundreds of millions instead of billions involves razor blades and butterflies. Now hear me out!-it goes like this. Uh…umm… Okay I’ll be honest, this is a sort of reverse-engineering thingy whereby I come up with an answer and then try to figure out a way that makes sense of that answer. The reverse-engineering analogy is weak but none of you outside JustStopDude could give a damn. TO THE GAME!

Den/SD-The Broncs are down their HC so it’s “Next Coach Up!” The fella that isn’t being held back by The Migraine Protocol is one Joe DeCamillis. He’s the Special Teams Coordinator that smirks at Wade Phillips every time they pass in the hallway and says, “I wonder why they didn’t make YOU the head guy tonight!” Speaking of coaching changes, it’s a bad sign when you come across more than one article that itemises who the interim coach of the Chargers will be come Monday. I’m guessing it won’t be the personification of failure that is the Chargers DC. Them Bolts give up 28 points and nearly 300 yds. passing on a weekly basis. That’s added up to 17 TDs so far. I guess it’s up to de Bosa to stop the 10 game-strong division losing streak that the other teams out west AFC-wise currently enjoy. In limited play last week he put together 2 sacks and 5 tackles. As far as quick starts by de’s are concerned, he’s got nothing on the Bronc’s Von Miller. The best defensive end in football (suck it, JJ Watts) has 6.5 sacks and will no doubt add to his total ce soir. It looks like Trevor Siemian backers are strutting around after qb Lynch’s play last week. That QBR of 11.7 last week against the Falcons speaks volumes about where he is in his development.

They say that the sincerest form of flattery is typing-SO TYPE!