Your “Teach A Man To Fish He Eats For A Lifetime, Teach A Man To Jeff Fisher And Everything He Does Will Be Less Than Adequate” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Could 2016 possibly get any worse? Jeff Fisher was let go? HE HAD A WINNING TEAM AS RECENTLY AS MANY YEARS AGO, FOR CHRIST SAKE! Is this what you do with someone who is obviously lousy at their job? Just let them go? Unbelievable. Sad, even. [shakes head] I hope that he manages to catch on as a talking head with one of the networks out there. Perhaps he and Matt Millen could do a light-hearted podcast dealing with the myriad ways in which one could steer an entire franchise into a farmer’s market week after week. I imagine that the initial reception to the podcast would be fantastic. (“They have so much experience! This’ll be great!”) It would be followed by general doubt about the quality of the job they’re doing by their audience. (“I don’t think these guys are very good at their jobs.”) Their employers would dig in and maintain that, yes, they are good at their jobs. (“Look, it’s early-just give them a chance. The show will get better.”) The podcast will bring in special guests like Mike Williams and Roy Williams but they won’t be the least bit interesting. (“Those guys bring nothing to the show”) Having invested so much money yet so little attention to the show, the employers will finally pull the plug because the media clamor demands that they do so. It’s a done deal, folks. Where was I? Oh yeah… TO THE GAME!

LA/Sea– I feel sorry for Aaron Donald. (Donald Aaron?) He reminds me quite a bit of Megatron or Joe Staley or Marcel Dionne (hockey!) or Ernie Banks or any number of other Hall of Famer’s doing great work on crappy teams. The narrative will tell you that the Rams have a chance under interim coach Fassel but one week does not a new team make. Seattle romps? Seattle romps.

As always, check out Freeballin’ Football’s podcast below. Will Nick’s ugly Christmas sweater featuring Christ on the cross cause a stir? Was Bill able to get admission to The Big Bang Theory convention or will he continue to be banned for his lewd display three years ago? Tim’s new look-too much cleavage or not enough? Will Josh finally come to terms with the fact that “Riders On The Storm” is a silly song because Morrison rhymed , “killer on the road/brain is squirming like a toad”? For the answers to these questions and some quality lip-flapping about things NFL-related, make sure you give ‘er a listen.

 

 

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Unsurprised
ThePirateSloth

Jon Ryan: BEST PUNTER IN THE LEA….. CONCUSSION WARD.

herodotus450

Hekk of a run there

King Hippo

now THAT is some real-time Karma

Senor Weaselo

TRICKERATION WHOOPS

Shogun Marcus

Gonna need a fuckton of updates after this year smgdh
https://youtube.com/watch?v=mmaMfXwlq90

Brick Meathook

I can’t even bear to watch this, it’s so fucking funny.

Senor Weaselo
entropy

I can only ever listen to South Park doing this or Cartman singing Come Sail Away:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZeuakaDUF4

King Hippo

If they kill Case Keenum, then we get the glory of seeing Johnny Hekker play QB??

Horatio Cornblower

It’s ‘Happy’ you twat-waffles. Jesus the only correct answer is Happy. How do you not fucking hit that.

Senor Weaselo

Shutout smoothies!

Sharkbait
King Hippo

timeout, because Jared Goff just asked Pete Carroll “are you my mother??”

King Hippo

all that ded to lose 10 yards for holding.

Brick Meathook

Who cares about the Rams, but…
It is wonderfully raining in Southern California tonight!
Raining in a miserable drought area!
The wet streets of Los Angeles are the visual birth of film noir in the ’40s!
It is glorious!
Carry on!

Sharkbait

The flashing hazard lights from all the accidents really bring it all together.

Unsurprised
herodotus450

I always forget how balanced this christmas song is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR07r0ZMFb8

King Hippo

Needs MOAR sack-fumble-six

entropy

While I’m kinda sorry I ushered in Xmas Music Nite at DFO, your contributions are hilarious.

ALXMAC
Sharkbait
Fronkenshteen

Think you’re not racist? Have money riding on an NFL or NBA game. See how not racist you are.

Unsurprised
Horatio Cornblower

granted I’m totally missing the point here but who knew that Randy Quaid’s ‘Cousin Eddie’ wasn’t acting?

Senor Weaselo

Bennett gets flagged for the McCringleberry Rule

Senor Weaselo

I see we triggered the Christmas song portion of the night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjggWxGYLdo

Horatio Cornblower

Also RIP Greg Lake. This one’ll get played for many 12/25s to come

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPm6CheT6rs

Senor Weaselo

Beat me to it.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s OK, we’ll call it a double-shot weekend.

King Hippo

I only allow Weird Al’s “Christmas At Ground Zero” and this is the last one during which we won’t have already BEEN NUKED so enjoy whilst you can, fuckers.

MERRY SHITSMAS ONE AND ALL

herodotus450
Brick Meathook

IN SEATTLE, THEY NOT ONLY THROW FISH BUT ALSO BLOW GLASS

Unsurprised

Who’s Glass?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was kind of hoping the Rams would win out so they could finish at 7-9 in honor of Jeff Fisher, but it was not to be.

King Hippo

that’s ok, men, he will always hold you as 7-9 in his heart,

Horatio Cornblower

Well fuck, if we’re doing Christmas songs…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SkWIqQ3oLY

Fronkenshteen

Shitballs

Unsurprised

Is that a stadium delicacy at the Coliseum?

Brick Meathook

SEATTLE FINALLY MADE THE SPREAD

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Re: the Mos Def video below – Derrick Coleman is the mos def of all in this game.

Unsurprised
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I haven’t seen someone put a boot to a ball so hard since they were vetting Linda McMahon to be Trump’s latest batshit cabinet appointment.

http://i641.photobucket.com/albums/uu132/CewshReviews/WWE/Wrestlemania/Wrestlemania%20X-Seven/c_zpsc841c3a2.gif

Fronkenshteen

No Rawls in the glow paint!

entropy

One of my only two concessions to Christmas Music (if you’ve paid attention, you can probably guess the other):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTx-sdR6Yzk

Sharkbait

May I submit the following:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9jbdgZidu8

entropy

And that is indeed the correct answer, sir. But I never play that one until Christmas morning.

Senor Weaselo

There’s only one way to record Christmas music, and that’s as many tracks as you can pull in a day, then take a day or two to mix it. And then be done with it. One or two takes. That’s all you get.

…This is the shit we did at my undergrad. And then again last year. And hopefully this year if I’m free because I want a shot at I Believe in Father Christmas.

Horatio Cornblower

I saw these guys live in Boston a couple of years ago during their St. Patrick’s week-in-residence at the House of Blues.

It was…pretty meh actually. Probably because I got the first of 7 shows.

entropy

I’ve seen them twice, once during their Green 17 tour in Philly, and once in my town a few years later. Each show was awesome for different reasons, but they were great both times.

Sharkbait

Wooo Shorthanded Goal!

/is watching Ice Giants
//better than Rams-Truthers.

Senor Weaselo

Woooo Nasher shorty!

ALXMAC
Brick Meathook

These Seattle uniforms are still hurting my eye balls.

Fuck Nike and the Pacific Northwest, including the Canadian parts. Sure, you may be friendly and beautiful, but that’s exactly how Satan works, my friends.

Fronkenshteen

BALLWYNN!!!!

JustStopDude

Phone just rank….I answer it…

“Kami perlukan bantuan anda. Ini Halim”

“Halim…I’ve been drinking for like two hours. Its not a good time.”

“La adalah masalah yang mudah!”

“It better be. I got my box and I am synced up…hit me”

Turns out it was a simple problem. The crane he was working on, the field circuit for the gantry was tripping on a ground fault detection due to bad wiring in the yard IO cabinet. Took like five minutes to talk through…another ten to test.

What I didn’t realize was my mother overhearing the speaker phone. I am afraid I am going to wake up in the AM to an exorcism being performed on me. I’ve…never really explained to my family what I do….

Unsurprised

KALI MA! KALI MA!

herodotus450

IN THIS HOUSE WE USE DC POWER!! THE (REAL) POWER OF OHM COMPELS YOU!

Horatio Cornblower

DIDI MAO!! DIDI MAO!!

Senor Weaselo

DEFINITELY INSURMOUNTABLE LEAD

Fronkenshteen

I’m drunk. How youze? Fantasy playoff game go not good. Not enough yay Baldwin! Gonna pee then smoke more weed. Built my kid a pillow igloo on my bed & he fell asleep in it. Really need Seattle D to love me. They won’t. Guckers. With a ” EFF!”

ALXMAC
Sharkbait

I’m drinking and hate my job/boss. so there is that.

Fronkenshteen

That’s solid multi-tasking!
[whacks hindquarter appreciatively]

Unsurprised

I need to be more secure so I can get fucked up like this without feeling bad about it later.

Sharkbait

That whole album was fantastic.

King Hippo

WHAT IS A (linebacker) CATCH??

...

What is love?

Shogun Marcus
King Hippo

a lie that our bodies use to trick our brains into reproducing

Brocky

WHY DOES THAT LOOK SO FUCKING FAMILIAR???!?!?!?

Shogun Marcus

How I feel watching this…the title anyway.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6Z0k5yiCmFs

herodotus450

I prefer the Rolling Stones’ cover, “Cone of Triumph.”

Brocky
Sharkbait

Good evening. No NFL network means no assault on my eyesight. How are the rest of you?

ALXMAC

Sharper’s Sleepers Obliterates Frosted Flaccos and Hands Them Third Loss in a Row

Sharkbait

Well that was unnecessary.

...

MY EYES THEY BURN THE GOOGLES DO NOTHING

Unsurprised

I asked
“Pop Quiz. Were tonight’s Seahawks better in
1) Eurotrip
2) The Flintstones
3) Superman: The Animated Series”

My brother’s reply:
comment image