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Your “Early Christmas Wishes, You Magnificent Bastards” Wednesday Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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NFL News:

  • Richard Sherman got caught threatening a reporter’s access after a contentious interview on the Seahawks flagship station Tuesday. “I’ll make sure you don’t get your media pass anymore,” Sherman said.
    • The best reaction was in the Deadspin comments:
      • “Finally, Richard Sherman admits to pass interference.”
    • What will probably happen is that since-2013 Superfans will turn on the broadcaster like Trump supporters on Twitter.
      • Because, bro, you know, they’ve been fans, like, for forever, man.
  • The Jets have said Bryce Petty is “good to go” for this weekend.
    • I guess it’s his fault for getting up.
    • As of right now, here is the projected top-10 draft order:
      1. Browns 0-14
      2. 49ers 1-13
      3. Jaguars 2-12
      4. Bears 3-11
      5. Jets 4-10
      6. Titans (via trade with Rams) 4-10
      7. Browns (via trade with Eagles) 5-9
      8. Chargers 5-9
      9. Cardinals 5-8-1
      10. Bengals 5-8-1
    • That poor kid from Louisville is going someplace awful.
  • Video has surfaced of Michael Floyd’s DUI arrest.
    • Honestly, if his nickname on the Patriots isn’t “Sleepy” next year, I don’t know humanity anymore. WE CAN’T LET TRUMP WIN!
      • I’m sure the average Masshole Pats fans will let it slide for his first couple of drops.
  • The Pro Bowl rosters have been announced, but none of that matters because half of those rosters will end up skipping the game due to some mysterious ailment or “prior commitment”.
    • Blake Bortles will probably end up starting for the AFC.
    • Tony Romo will likely start for the NFC, as his audition for whichever AFC teams are willing to give JERRAL what he wants.

Finally, it was 10 years ago today – according to PFT – that Nick Saban uttered those immortal words: “I’m not going to be the Alabama coach.”

  • For your amusement, here’s the ESPN story of the day where he shallowly proclaims his allegiance to the Dolphins. This quote is really all you need to know about the multiple levels of delusion that exist in pro sports:
    • “He told us a couple weeks ago that he’s proud to be a Dolphin and he’s going to be sticking around,” Dolphins quarterback Joey Harrington said. “So I take him at his word.”
  • Please read it while reminding yourself to root for Washington on New Year’s Eve.

Well, like most of you, I have to trundle off to family obligations this weekend. I’m heading out to Seattle Friday to celebrate the holiday at my brother’s, and use his location to hop on over to the Seahawks home finale versus the Cardinals. Since he’s going to the corporate box, I get to use his parking pass. That’s fifty extra drinking dollars! If anything good happens, I’ll post that next week.

With that in mind, I’m just going to wish everyone here a Very Merry, and thank the powers-that-be for letting me be a part of this here blog, letting me do my thing, and tolerating my writings & occasional off-colour missives. It’s a wonderful outlet for my boredom and rage.

So, on the way out, here’s my list of favourite Christmas songs.

1.”Father Christmas” – The Kinks

2. “Christmas In Hollis” – Run DMC

3. “Fairytale of New York” – The Pogues

4. “I Wish It Was Christmas Today” – Julian Casablancas

I love The Kinks, so that’s why they are #1. As for why I choose the cover version over the SNL bit, it’s because of my firm loathing for Jimmy Fallon and his intense desire to ruin sketches by smirking that punch-able face of his.

As for SNL, here’s a couple of recent Christmas musical skits that tickle the funny bone and aren’t “Dick In A Box”.

Please discuss your favourites down in the comments. See you after Boxing Day.

Tonight’s bowl game:

SAN DIEGO COUNTY CU POINSETTIA BOWL
Qualcomm Stadium | San Diego, Calif.
Dec. 21, 9:00 p.m. ET | ESPN

 
BYU vs. Wyoming

Tonight’s other sports:

  • NHL: Capitals at Flyers – 8:00 PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Milwaukee at Cleveland – 7:00 PM | TSN2
    • Dallas at Portland – 10:00 PM | TSN1
  • NCAA Basketball:
    • Elon vs. Duke – 6:00 PM | ESPN2   FUCK DUKE!
    • blood-orgyAmerican at Villanova – 6:30 PM | FS1
    • Illinois vs. Missouri – 7:00 PM | ESPNU
    • Kentucky at Louisville – 7:00 PM | ESPN
    • Northern Iowa at *North Carolina – 8:00 PM | ESPN2
    • Clemson at South Carolina – 9:00 PM | ESPNU
    • Virginia at California – 10:00 PM | ESPN2

ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY!

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Unsurprised

Pfft. The only people Silicon Valley hates more than its users are the homeless people that dare to exist within their field of vision. https://twitter.com/doctorow/status/811069316946759680

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Unsurprised

Currently reading Battle of Wits. It’s excellent so far; informative and quite entertaining.
https://www.amazon.com/Battle-Wits-Complete-Story-Codebreaking/dp/0743217349

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scotchnaut

I’m buying that for sure.

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Unsurprised

When did BYU leave the Mountain West and what took them so long?

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sunrisesunrise

I think it was 7-8 years ago. They went independent because they felt they were better than all of the teams on the Mountain West (debatable). Now they are relegated to the Poinsettia Bowl, Hawaii Bowl and Las Vegas Bowl (all which have MW tie-ins) unless they somehow are nationally relevant (which they haven’t been nor will be).

/SDSU fan
//I do not like byu

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Unsurprised

I’m from Albuquerque. I cheered at the Lobo women’s soccer player who hit the BYU player because fuck BYU.

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Croooow

Fuck Duke. That is all.

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Unsurprised

I love that the Wyoming Cowboys suffered a Romobyl-level disaster to lose the game.

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Fronkenshteen

I’m sitting with a co-worker who can’t wait for Trump to repeal “Obamacare” and replace it with his plan for “healthcare everyone can afford. I’m glad his teeth hurt.

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Unsurprised

I hope he get cancer the day the repeal goes into effect.

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Fronkenshteen

I still don’t realize what I have in Ty Montgomery. What’s the matter with me?

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sunrisesunrise

He’s able to be slotted in as WR or RB. Kinda like Marques Colston used to be a TE/WR combo…except good.

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WCS

The Laramie Fightin’ Dick Cheney’s are almost within field goal range, down three, with 95 seconds left.

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WCS

…and nevermind. Cowboys’ QB throws a game-sealing INT that Elisha or Romo would be proud of.

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Unsurprised

Never change, Cowboys.

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Senor Weaselo

Aaaand never mind.

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WCS

Suddenly, in the SDCCPSNEUTALWLS810B$r0az!~ Poinsettia Bowl, Wyoming is only down three.

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Senor Weaselo

Not enough letters.

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sunrisesunrise

And to think I could’ve been there sitting among them. But I was smart and stayed home where it was dry and the alcohol was cheap.

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WCS

Hello, bourbon, my old friend…
http://www.buffalotrace.com/images/img-bottle.png

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

I’ve come to drink with you again. Because a hot taek softly creeping. Laid drama while I was sleeping.

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Col. Duke LaCross

I miss drinking.

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

I commend your dedication (assuming your hiatus is voluntary).

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Fronkenshteen

Battle of the Somme. UK thought a 7-day shelling would pulverize the German trenches. The German army, however, had 2 years(ish) to dig in. What’s the definitive account of the underground world they created?

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Porky Prime

Somme Guys Have All the Luck?

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Fronkenshteen

[orders on Amazon Prime]

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Sill Bimmons

Otto Dix

comment image

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Beerguyrob

What will Trump call Obama’s FEMA camps?

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

A good start

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Senor Weaselo

Stormin’ Mormondown!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s the winter solstice, folks. That means every day for the next six months, each day will be brighter than the last.

God damn am I glad to have turned this corner.

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Fronkenshteen

That thing today? That was hot shit. Hat’s off, man.

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WCS

BLOOD ORGY episode of South Park is on right now.

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Porky Prime

One of my favorite gags from that episode is Stan sitting down to watch The Jeffersons. Dont know why, find it hilarious. Even funnier in a different episode when it’s One Day at a Time.

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Col. Duke LaCross

That and the mice jammin’ it in the deer’s ear.

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Fronkenshteen

BeerGuyRob=MVP

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Shogun Marcus

Time to go. Round two of epic marathon baking starts and ends tomorrow. IT. ENDS. TOMORROW.

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Gratliff

FLYERA WIN! LET’S MAKE IT 11 THIS TIME!

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Gratliff

Goddamn it. I hate shootouts. Fuck Gary Bettman.

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ballsofsteelandfury

This is an NFL-ish site so I normally reserve my hate for Goodell, but Bettman is an INTERNATIONAL disgrace!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is that one week of the year when the “oh, it’s quiet so we can get stuff done!” work people butt heads with the “wooooo, it’s the end of the year, we can blow shit off!” work people. I’m rooting for the latter camp this year.

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Gratliff

1 day left til 13 days off. I checked out mentally around 9 am Monday

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ballsofsteelandfury

I’m definitely in camp 2 this year.

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sunrisesunrise

I have to go in to work next Thursday. No work will actually get done.

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ballsofsteelandfury

That is incredibly stupid of your company. At least you can have some fun that day?

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sunrisesunrise

I work for San Diego State University and with Xmas falling on a Sunday it kinda screwed with our break. They gave us Thursday, Friday, Monday and Tuesday off for our winter break. Then the governor and school president gave us Wednesday off. And I had taken Friday off as my personal holiday. Hence working next Thursday is the only day I’m “working” until Jan 3rd.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I haven’t been assigned my camp number yet, Bannon must still be working on it.

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

Can I found the “Woooooo this GODDAMN year is almost over so let’s run out the clock!” camp?

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ballsofsteelandfury

– Andy Reid

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Beerguyrob

FUCK 2016!

https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/811738199022305281

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Shogun Marcus

I found out about her after her 1st show. I just had to watch every one. Even though I knew it was going to end I rooted for her. A rare bright spot this year.

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

So I just found out that the entirety of the Packers v. Raiders MNF game is available on youtube. This is the game that took place less than 24 hours after Brett Favre’s dad died, and he (along with the rest of the Packers) played out of their minds and ripped the Raiders apart.
It was probably the most emotionally moving game I’ve ever watched. Also, if you look at the top comment, it has links that will take you to all the highlights of the game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaisdMT2brw

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Counterpoint: Fuck Brett Favre

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

Could you give me one more comment? My pasta could use a touch more salt.

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Shogun Marcus

I have to agree with my fellow kommentist. But if he stays gone (and I mean GONE) for a year or two I’ll come back around. This town is finally just starting to get over it and I’d like it to keep moving that way.

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

He’s been actually, for real, retired for 6 years now, what more are you waiting for?

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Shogun Marcus

He doesn’t stay gone. He looks for every opportunity to come back here to have people fawn over him. The aw shucks routine is so old and fake. Which starts all the hawt taekery again about who did what to whom, etc. This place doesn’t forget. They still have strong takes on Dan Devine ffs. The scab needs to heal and it’s getting there. Me personally I couldn’t care less. I’m just tired of hearing it.

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

Eh, I chalk that up to the media looking for hot taeks more than to Brett. I can tell you that almost everybody in WI is over the drama and wishes that it would fade away so that we could just remember the player without having the controversy dragged up Every Single Time he’s in the news.

And personally, I don’t care if he lingers for another 30 years. He gave us well over a decade of damn entertaining football, with all it’s ups and downs, and I don’t think being reminded of those times every now and again is that bad.

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Shogun Marcus

I live in green bay. They are not.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Didn’t they have a Brett Favre celebration in GB this year during a SNF or MNF game?

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Shogun Marcus

I WAS THERE. Dallas game that I did the writing on.

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s why i remember it!

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Senor Weaselo

You’re both right, but still go fuck yourselves.

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Shogun Marcus

And a merry Moosemas to you my friend! Hail Bleergh.

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Beerguyrob

It’s a tired bit, in light of both “Life’s Too Short” and “Taken”, but Liam Neeson auditioning as Santa is still pretty good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqG621-drmk

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sunrisesunrise

How many people here are younger than most of BYU’s roster?

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Spanky Datass

Not me. Hell, I’m older than their coach!

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Senor Weaselo

It sucks that I’m now older than athletes. It feels weird.

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Spanky Datass

It gets weirder when you get older than a few NFL Head Coaches.http://cbssports.com/images/blogs/tomlin-no-dancing.jpg

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LemonJello

Damn. We’re the same age.

Semi-related note – age really hits you when you have Marines in your platoon that weren’t born when you first enlisted. That’s when it’s time to put in the retirement papers.

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Beerguyrob

Can I include my wives?

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JustStopDude

Snoozing on my parents couch. I am physically and mentally out of it…but kind of half following the conversation between my sister and the parents. My mom is talking about my father, I, and the crew of people I paid, clearing out about 30 years of junk out of the backyard. I shoot right away as soon as I hear my sister say the following…

“Well dad…I hope JSD was careful and didn’t throw away anything valuable”.

I wanted to jump up and scream. This is the absolutely the worst fucking thing to say to a hoarder after a clean up and I know my sister knows this. This is the kind of shit we do in my family. We control via chaos and when we aren’t in control, we make everyone around us fucking miserable…damn the consequences.

This is like the fifth or sixth fucked up thing my sister has said to my parents to cause drama.

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sunrisesunrise

Damn that sucks. Intentionally causing drama is a shitty thing to do. No one wins.

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JustStopDude

Its fucked up learned behavior. I do the same thing frankly and I have to force myself to recognize the behavior and not do it.

What I cannot stand is my sister lords over us that she sees a shrink. I do as well…I just don’t broadcast it. I also been working with the same one for about a year…doing the really hard…painful shit of facing my demons and making personal changes.

My sister…hold onto a shrink for about two months and then as soon as that person tries to force her out of her comfort zone and change her behavior…this doc suddenly becomes and idiot and she needs to find a new one.

My sister is the stereotypical kind of person that when asking advice…is actually only seeking validation.

I’m not stupid. I haven’t fixed my folks nor was that the goal this Christmas break. None of this shit was planned. But I got them into a good place. But everyone is kind of on pins and needles because this has been such a massive change. My father has literally gone through hell getting rid of this stuff.

Its like putting a bottle of jack on a table in front of an AA meeting to watch the sparks fly.

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sunrisesunrise

Acknowledging the issue is the difficult part. Congrats on that alone. Sucks that your sister only seeks validation. Sounds like some of my in-laws. Their word means less and less as the years go on.

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LemonJello

That’s about six flavors of fucked up.

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Porky Prime

Wow JSD that blows. That’s basically, “I contributed nothing, and I wish to diminish the help JSD gave, and so I shall transform a helpful, selfless deed by a devoted child into the hamfisted toilet flush of a buffon. What do I gain? NOTHING! GLORIOUS NOTHING!”

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Croooow

Wyoming’s uniforms are hideous.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I really wish I could make that the banner.

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sunrisesunrise

*affixes monocle*
The young man from Louisville will be plying his trade for Louisville for another year since he’s a sophomore. The young man from Clemson however….

/monocle falls out, breaks into many pieces just like Bryce Petty’s spleen

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Beerguyrob

Still has an 85% chance of landing on the Browns.

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ballsofsteelandfury

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Senor Weaselo

Oh god, Johnnies are playing Cuse. What’s the dam… they’re WINNING? By double-digits? BY 20? What the shit is going on?

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Senor Weaselo

93-60 final. Holy balls.

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makeitsnowondem

Gentlemen.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Where?

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Don T

Merryness for all. This brings me some: Tavín Pumarejo (died in ’16; I tells ya), and merengue leyends Conjunto Quisqueya: “La finquita”. (The Little Farm). Like all wonderful Xmas music, it’s double entendre. The farm is a widow’s, and the chorus is ti clean the widow’s, ya know.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5iBjzPrvNCI

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ballsofsteelandfury

Perfecta! Me encanta la letra!

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ballsofsteelandfury

I’m seriously cracking up over here…

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WCS

Newt Gingrich says Drumpf is dropping the “drain the swamp” mantra and ethos; Drumpfazis on Twitter either in denial, or say “he never said he would in the first place, libtards!” #MAGA

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Unsurprised

Fucking rubes

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sunrisesunrise

I’m still confused on what the definition of “great” was in this context.

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...

Someone pointed out the “drain the swamp” of elites thing was usually interpreted as just getting rid of anyone who opposed their White-centric patriarchal system. Basically, just powerful liberals.

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Beerguyrob

Methinks the Seahawks front office doesn’t have faith in making the Super Bowl:

“We would like to extend an exclusive 2017 Pro Bowl Holiday offer to you for being a loyal Season Ticket Holder. A discount of $10 per ticket will be applied when you use the code: SEAHAWKSSTM. Don’t miss seeing your favorite players compete live a week before Super Bowl 51. ”

You’d think they’d include a caveat about “*unless they’re playing in the Super Bowl”.

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Unsurprised

My mantra for the next three months is “Beat up winter and take its cookies.”

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Senor Weaselo

The best bowl game of the year, the SDCCUPB!

I should be packing, shouldn’t I…

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ballsofsteelandfury

China?

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Senor Weaselo

China.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t remember your itinerary, but i hope it’s not in the North. I was in Beijing during Thanksgiving one year and it was brutally cold.

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Senor Weaselo

There’s one day in Harbin. It does not look like a fun day.

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scotchnaut

I discovered this one just last year

https://youtu.be/_Nhbv74Hz54

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scotchnaut

Gah! Copy/Pasting the browser used to work for the youtube. What gives?

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ballsofsteelandfury

Use the embed link with the html on it.

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scotchnaut

My mom always reminded me that I was a bastard but the descriptor ‘magnificent’ was never mentioned.

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Gratliff

Getting caught up on S3 of Lucha Underground while waiting for Flyera-Ovechkins. On the bright side, new batshit crazy female Japanese wrestler gifs!comment image

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Unsurprised

That’s ballsy as fuck.

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