Wild Card? More like Lame Card, am I right? Well, I honestly don’t know. Apart from a couple minutes of the first Saturday game, I didn’t watch any football this weekend. But in searching for highlights (and, this week, searching was more like scouring the couch cushions for enough change to buy a 40 that would let me escape those couple minutes of OAK/HOU “football”) I did see that James Harrison caused a fumble. I’m sure all you Yinzers on here knew that he was still around but, as someone who is pretty sure that guy was a grizzled old vet in Super Bowl IX, I was surprised to see he’s still contributing to playoff football. So good for him.
Anyways, keep up the good work. At this rate, a bunch of dick-jokers sitting at their computers could challenge for a first-round playoff spot in the AFC. That is, of course, if any of this bunch of dick-jokers could actually pass a drug test (without the use of a Whizzinator).
“THIS IS THE MANLIEST MAN SPORT!”
Oh, so that’s how you execute a full Nelson
Well, it was more of a half nelson after the play.
In honor of advancing to play Dallas next week, Jordy Nelson does his best Lee Harvey Oswald impersonation.
Wendy, I can fly!
“Malcolm Smith’s first attempt at a “Las Vegas Handshake” portends doom for the team’s potential move!” — Bleacher Report
I haven’t seen a dolphin mistime its jump so badly since this:
http://www.gifwave.com/media/31482_swimming-animals-ocean-sea-crash.gif
Winner
Answering a gif with a gif though?
Mistimed? I think he did that on porpoise.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Yes, I like that joke.
The NFL is proud of its concussion protocol. It saves lives and allows for a better life after players retire. After this play Matt Moore was required to sit out 1 play according to our strict rules.
WILDCARD BITCHES!
The Miami Dolphins then proceeded to use the seldom used “Weekend at Bernie’s Formation” for the rest of the game.
“Aww shit this isnt the Olympic Hurdling tryouts?”
Banner image: Much more entertaining than any of the games this weekend
Jay Feely: “The 14 mile-per-hour wind conditions down here actually lifted him right up over the line of scrimmage into the Steeler backfield.”
http://img.wennermedia.com/480-width/mike-defee-f0008eda-df64-4eb5-8fef-990e91c2f95b.jpg
“You skipped arm day, pussy.”
Lions #24 to Seahawks #19: “So, I guess we should stop holding hands now?”
Guys, I know you’re playing the Lions but this isn’t Thanksgiving. You can’t make a wish on the quarterback.
“Hey, I finally caught the elusive Bratcheezcurd Pokemon!”
Eli after he heard about this:
http://i58.tinypic.com/25iaxyw.jpg
He was inconsolable, even after Olivia promised him TWO juice boxes!
“He looks a lot fatter than he really is, I guess.”
Goodell is going to fine James Harrison just for being on the field for this hit.
“NOOOooooooo! He spoiled Westworld for me! I was waiting to watch it in the off season!”
Hey look the ball is over there! Haha fooled you!
“Mongo only pawn in game of football.”
Bullshit. Watt isn’t that self-aware.
“Premature ejaculation? Dr Porkenheimer’s Boner Juice* can help!”
*new official partner of the NFL
“Purple monk—oh, fuck. He ded.”
The Giants receivers can’t catch anything, even cold.
Alternate
Green Bay residents: “Hello police, there are some shirtless thugs in the stadium I own. Would you please come and arrest them. Thank You. I will be waiting with some cheese covered curds, over some Brats.”
This is the worst I’ve seen a black person treat a white guy all week.
Wait, maybe second worst.
“No, seriously, my job is just to stand out here and watch him run. I don’t know why and I don’t care. Yeah, they pay me.”
“Wild Card? More like Lame Card, am I right?”
I mean, Mild Card was RIGHT THERE.
I WILL BAN YOUR ASS!
Now we’re quoting Roger Goodell, the National Disgrace?
WELL LA-DI-FREAKIN-DAH!
Please don’t. This is my life.
“Touchdown Seahawks”
I feel like the Matt Moore, Matt Stafford and Jordy Nelson clips could all go “BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!”
Good.
JJ Watt: I can’t just do my rehab, but I have to do it in my stadium with cameras on because I am not one of those glory boys. I have to show everyone how hard I work. Pssst, did you know I live in a log mansion, I mean cabin.
http://i.imgur.com/9SO8bv0.jpg
NO! You’re supposed to hurt him, THEN place him on the stretcher.
JJ Watt realizing the rent is due.
Matt Moore has heard good things about head transplants.