/Fox pre-game intro
Joe: “The good folks at DFW Ice Creamery were kind enough to provide us with samples of their very delicious products. I chose vanilla. [licks cone lovingly] Mmm, that’s so good! Troy, what flavour did you choose?
Troy: “You know me, Joe. I’ll always choose chocolate when I’m in Dallas. It always tastes so good! [his tongue dances on the tip of the ice cream cone]
Joe: “Gosh darn it-I can not get enough of this delicious ice cream!” [makes slurping noises]
Troy: “Can’t help but notice I got a larger cone than you did.” [slurps happily away]
Joe: “You know what they say-it’s not how much you can swallow, it’s more important that you’re satisfied at the end. [makes small moaning sound]
Troy: “You got that right mister. I’ve no doubt that we’ll both end up with a bellyful.” [eyes roll back into head]
Producer: [begins to realize what is happening] “CUT TO COMMERCIAL! CUT TO COMMERCIAL!”
GB/Dal– Them Cowpokes get a boner, bonus with the return of cb Claiborne after an absence of nine weeks. He’s back just in time to blanket wr Cobb because ace Jordy Nelson isn’t the gritty guy that everyone thought he was. Unlike Joe and Troy he was not able to suck it up. Another Pack wr is going to have to step up and my not-money is on Geronimooooo! (Allison) to jump into the fray and make a difference. I also think that Green Bay needs a half-decent day from te Cook. If he can grab 6-8 for 70-80 yards that will take some of the pressure off the outside guys and create a wee bit of hesitation on the part of the Dallas D.
The Cowboys just need to keep doing what they’re doing and they’ll be okay. There’s no reason to think that Eezy-Zeke will be thwarted in his efforts and that will limit the number of possessions that the white/lava/scorching/witheringly [runs out of breath] hot Rodgers will have to put points on the board. In addition, qb Prescott doesn’t seem to be the ‘rattleable’ type and the Pack’s D-Line isn’t a scary bunch with a lot of “Oomph!”. (says the old white guy from his couch) All in all, more things have to go right for Green Bay than Dallas-I think it should be close for most of the game but them Cowboys might pull away in the fourth. This is not my desired result, by the way.
Done. LET’S GO GET IT, POTLICKERS!!!
Typical Green Bay; your fullback gets you inside the 10 and then you give the touchdown to your halfback
Jesus this postseason has been awful so far. Say what you will about baseball, but at least the fucking games are occasionally close.
I think we need another goat..,
I am glad we are finally getting a competitive game. To think everyone was saying the Cowboys were gonna run away with this one.
Any good hockey games on tonight? I feel like watching hockey for some reason.
my best leasing client is a big Packers fan (a WI transplant). He will be so happy tomorrow, I could just bill 23.5 hours to “Acknowledge Rodgers’ greatness; outline open issues.”
Tackling is a very important skill in football
That’s some fine, inept tackling, Dallas.
I’ll guarantee you the Dallas PD would do a better job covering young black males running around the field than Dallas’s secondary is.
Probably why the Packers sent their white fullback out for a long run.
NEXT LEVEL THINKING!!
GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
cue scotchy….
[see above]
Why is it that the subjects in these virtual reality commercials always seem like the kind of people who would freak out just as much if you jingled a set of keys in front of them for an hour?
Ah, finished my post-hangover workout at the gym and I feel much better.
Now, to sit back, take a big sip of this hot chocolate I got myself and see how my beloved Cowboys are doing.
https://media.tenor.co/images/667b75b1b91874e5e008e07adbcaaa77/raw
Nothing but first downs. Rodgers is eating this Dallas defense likes it’s a big veiny hairy dick.
GERONIMOOOOOOOO!!!
you set a macro for this, didn’t ya!?
Can I haz a three and out pleezzzzze????
I almost want you assdicks to keep this competitive, so I won’t be tempted to flip to the State/GT game at 6:30 and harsh my nice background v-profen buzz.
Do you touch yourself?
Then, no.
I haven’t heard of cowboys in this much peril since Seamus told us about how he almost put a beatdown on that guy in Vegas.
You could also have used “I haven’t seen Cowboys pissing all over themselves since…”
Gentlemen.
we got a new coach, SNOW!! A cool black fella!!!
Holy shit! This the first I’ve even heard about it! Joseph seems like a very good get.
Welp…the rookie-ness is starting to show.
Softly: “Ro-mo. Ro-mo. Ro-mo/”
Terrance Williams fucked up that drive
The Defense needs to step up and get a stop. Otherwise, DAK will be forcing things and this game is over.
MOAR the Doug Free-NESS, and maybe some frustration on the penalty and drops…
The Joe Buckism from today that I will be using for the rest of this week:
“That is some next level thinking.”
I will endeavour to use that at work this week.
“That’ll go down as a drop for Terrance Williams”
That’s why they pay Joe the big bucks, folks.
A kicker got a commercial? A kicker?!
This guy had his own show in Pittsburgh:
http://cbssports.com/images/blogs/jeff-reed-headshot-k.jpg
If Marquette King gets a commercial it’s time to pack it all in.
New England, so it had to be a white guy. And the “better ones” prolly wanted too much $$
http://i.imgur.com/pfKpivi.gif
GB gets another easy score like that, and I can officially cross off:
34. I am the literal reincarnation of Hitler
On the list of potential reasons why the universe is realigning itself to fuck me over.
I CALL AARON RODGERS RICHARD RAMIREZ BECAUSE HE IS VERY SUCCESSFUL AT SQUEEZING THROUGH SMALL WINDOWS AND IMPOSING HIS WILL.
HOW HOT WILL RODGERS STAY? – Joe Buck
http://i1133.photobucket.com/albums/m600/DWAREZIZ/thsfbnawhgdyqlrpkpo3.gif
Man alive, that were surgical by Aaron y Ty. Time for Princeton Red to get a little less chickenshit on 4th down if we can haz ballgame??
Man, with every drive in this game, Mike McCarthy somehow inexplicably adds another year onto his inevitable incoming contract extension.
Hot culinary tip!
Don’t use flour or cornstarch to thicken chili. Instead, stir in a handful or two of crushed tortilla chips about an hour before it’s finished. And if you like beans (I do), then add beans at the same time. It’s your fucking chili after all.
This is a great idea.
It works great, but you have to adjust for the added salt.
If you use canned beans (which I think are just fine for chili, a little of the liquid from the can makes a decent thickener, too.
SIMPSONS DID IT!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzHkYuglHqw#t=16m2s
Welp, I hope you enjoyed the competitive portion of tonight’s game! Tune in tonight for Steelers-Chiefs to see which team will break the 3-3 deadlock in the first quarter and go galloping off to a 31-13 victory!
TD so it doesn’t matter, but the refs missed another hold/pass interference on the last play. Cooks jersey was pulled back a full 2 feet.
Romo time?
Yes Troy, there are a lot of bodies there for Aaron to try to fit that thing in.
“Close game? FUCK THAT AND FUCK YOU!”
Time to put back in the guys who replaced the Dallas injured starters
I sure would like an appearance from the October version of Rodgahs right about now. He pretty much sucked back then.
perhaps that was a great long con??
If that official who completely ignored Davante Adams’ ripped clothing and insistence that he was violated ends up getting fired, he’ll always be able to find a job at Baylor.
Oh. My. God.
Get your shit together Dallas D.
Dallas has to have the worst home field advantage of any decent to good NFL team.
I swear to god I suspect people in the Death Star don’t understand how fans are suppose to act.
If you just go by noise, you have no way of knowing if this game is in Dallas or Greenbay.
Hot 90’s PC CD-ROM game taek incoming:
The 7th Guest was a great game at the time and has mostly held up.
The 11th Hour was never a good game and time has made it worse.
I still play Battlefield 1942, so…
I somehow have a copy of 11th Hour that I never played. I have no idea how I have it. I never bought it but it is in one of my DVD binders/cases
I hope you like cryptic crossword clues! And puzzles without much in terms of logical rules! And really, really bad soap opera scenes!
We have a good game? I am very pleased. I just didn’t think that with the loss of Jordy that he would be this surgical with other wr’s
HE’S WHITE HOT!
Shirt torn but no flag
tis ok, just pissed Rodgers off.
Scandrick just got away with one.
uh….ref??
Holy Fuckballs. Really?
Come for the football game, stay for the tutorial video about puttign in contact lenses. Whoever is directing this game should be fired, re-hired, then fired again.
I’m displeased with the turn of events thus far.