/Fox pre-game intro
Joe: “The good folks at DFW Ice Creamery were kind enough to provide us with samples of their very delicious products. I chose vanilla. [licks cone lovingly] Mmm, that’s so good! Troy, what flavour did you choose?
Troy: “You know me, Joe. I’ll always choose chocolate when I’m in Dallas. It always tastes so good! [his tongue dances on the tip of the ice cream cone]
Joe: “Gosh darn it-I can not get enough of this delicious ice cream!” [makes slurping noises]
Troy: “Can’t help but notice I got a larger cone than you did.” [slurps happily away]
Joe: “You know what they say-it’s not how much you can swallow, it’s more important that you’re satisfied at the end. [makes small moaning sound]
Troy: “You got that right mister. I’ve no doubt that we’ll both end up with a bellyful.” [eyes roll back into head]
Producer: [begins to realize what is happening] “CUT TO COMMERCIAL! CUT TO COMMERCIAL!”
GB/Dal– Them Cowpokes get a boner, bonus with the return of cb Claiborne after an absence of nine weeks. He’s back just in time to blanket wr Cobb because ace Jordy Nelson isn’t the gritty guy that everyone thought he was. Unlike Joe and Troy he was not able to suck it up. Another Pack wr is going to have to step up and my not-money is on Geronimooooo! (Allison) to jump into the fray and make a difference. I also think that Green Bay needs a half-decent day from te Cook. If he can grab 6-8 for 70-80 yards that will take some of the pressure off the outside guys and create a wee bit of hesitation on the part of the Dallas D.
The Cowboys just need to keep doing what they’re doing and they’ll be okay. There’s no reason to think that Eezy-Zeke will be thwarted in his efforts and that will limit the number of possessions that the white/lava/scorching/witheringly [runs out of breath] hot Rodgers will have to put points on the board. In addition, qb Prescott doesn’t seem to be the ‘rattleable’ type and the Pack’s D-Line isn’t a scary bunch with a lot of “Oomph!”. (says the old white guy from his couch) All in all, more things have to go right for Green Bay than Dallas-I think it should be close for most of the game but them Cowboys might pull away in the fourth. This is not my desired result, by the way.
Done. LET’S GO GET IT, POTLICKERS!!!
It looks like we’re going to OT, but I just don’t think that’s going to happen.
No, I would kick the FG, knowing it would activate the Mike McCarthy
Dallas needs to speed it up.
You’re supposed to be better than that Butler.
Green Bay is in their Aaron Rodger’s package. In that they are getting fucked in the ass by a cowboy.
So…running the ball is working? What a concept!
Keep it up. Don’t let the cheese rest.
GO TEAM!! SCORE THE POINTS AND MAKE THE TOUCHED DOWNS!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fraSdN-PG8
That contact was all WAAAAYYYY more than 5 yards downfield, too.
Fuck you Buck. Stay off the Cowboys jock. Go back to Rodgers.
Let’s GO COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R044sleOW6I
http://cdn.pastemagazine.com/www/articles/DennisCollapse.gif
GREAT JOB DEFENSE!!!
Beer is gone, dipping into the wife’s Merlot. Thank God I’m off tomorrow.
/pours some out for MLK.
I love civil rights, especially my right to get blackout drunk on Divisional Sunday.
D-Line is starting to get a push
All right ladies and gents, I’m off for a bit, I’ll see when I return.
I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be out on a boat with in-laws rather than watch a Dolphins game.
Ok, am making a drink now.
I’ll take one of whatever.
Two Bushmills neat.
An interesting playoff game? WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!?
The Cowboys will make me eat crow on my earlier prediction just because they’re not smart enough to go for two here.
I’m an incredibly straight man, but I still want to have Jason Witten’s babies.
Same times I dream i’m falling and Witten is there to catch me.
So, who bets Princeton Red fucks up football math and goes for 1?
There was never any chance otherwise.
Going for one was OK. They can go for two later if it means the game.
Here’s what I believe on this subject: If you’re going to need two more scores instead of one more, you need to know that as soon as possible.
Troy doesn’t like it when they go soft.
Either does AAron.
No one can say Dez didn’t show up…he’s never been on a boat in his life.
http://s14.postimg.org/h5sqtggn5/image.jpg
My introduction to this song was a friend just randomly saying
Fuck Trees I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKERS!!
The Cowboys just need to run the ball
I got pulled away to help install shelves so I missed the entire 3rd quarter. What did I miss?
I just added some dark beer and beans to my chili. Other than that, not much.
We have turned in to a ICP fan page.
WHOOP WHOOP.
Well it was a matter of time before we all snapped.
Dallas playing with the hopes of people who hate the Packers
Dallas…
You need to fucking score on this drive you insufferable little shits.
That is all…
I can’t move. I have an insane food coma.
Is that a ICP cover band?
No huddle with run heavy play calls. Do it Dallas.
WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO and YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEFUKKKKKINGHAWWWWWWW!!!!
Hookers and blow for everyone, we’ll add it to the bill for the stadium. Thank you taxpayers!
RODGERSCEPTION, THEY CAN STILL HAPPEN
Well, well.
AACK AACK AACK?
“Ook ook?” -Moosemas Gorilla
This is good. I may have a second. Then a third. Then a fifth.
Mix with vodka and make a Lee Harvey Oswald
Dammit Brown! If Rodgers wants to be a runner blow him the fuck up!
What about Juggalos?
http://blog.marginmedia.com.au/hs-fs/hubfs/images/always-sunny-juggalo.png?t=1483501464725&width=500&height=283&name=always-sunny-juggalo.png
Watching Morris Claiborne try to cover Adams was causing me a lot of pain so I guess we’re even.
The Cowboys aren’t going to be within one score for the rest of this game, are they?
Noooooope. They’re pretty much
toast.
Oh, wait, hold that thought. The bread is still cold. THE BREAD IS STILL COLD!
Dallas failure is wonderful. Also, I should replay GTAV at some point.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g04dSoy5jGE
No look handoff?
McCarthy is still the Packers coach, Cowboys still have a chance.
So we’re back to the Romo chant already?
Gee, running the ball with Zeke was going so well, let’s throw it instead.
JAMBINTERCEPTION
WE WANT ROMO
Yes please. I want toe hottest taeks ever tomorrow. I may very well tune in to Dallas radio from work anyway. Anyone know which station has the best sports morning show down there?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON4sOlxvtbU