Your [sacrifices goat within chalk outline of a pentagram] “THIS WILL BE A CLOSE GAME!” NFC Playoff Game Open Thread

/Fox pre-game intro

Joe: “The good folks at DFW Ice Creamery were kind enough to provide us with samples of their very delicious products. I chose vanilla. [licks cone lovingly] Mmm, that’s so good! Troy, what flavour did you choose?

Troy: “You know me, Joe. I’ll always choose chocolate when I’m in Dallas. It always tastes so good! [his tongue dances on the tip of the ice cream cone]

Joe: “Gosh darn it-I can not get enough of this delicious ice cream!” [makes slurping noises]

Troy: “Can’t help but notice I got a larger cone than you did.” [slurps happily away]

Joe: “You know what they say-it’s not how much you can swallow, it’s more important that you’re satisfied at the end. [makes small moaning sound]

Troy: “You got that right mister. I’ve no doubt that we’ll both end up with a bellyful.” [eyes roll back into head]

Producer: [begins to realize what is happening] “CUT TO COMMERCIAL! CUT TO COMMERCIAL!”

GB/Dal– Them Cowpokes get a boner, bonus with the return of cb Claiborne after an absence of nine weeks. He’s back just in time to blanket wr Cobb because ace Jordy Nelson isn’t the gritty guy that everyone thought he was. Unlike Joe and Troy he was not able to suck it up. Another Pack wr is going to have to step up and my not-money is on Geronimooooo! (Allison) to jump into the fray and make a difference. I also think that Green Bay needs a half-decent day from te Cook. If he can grab 6-8 for 70-80 yards that will take some of the pressure off the outside guys and create a wee bit of hesitation on the part of the Dallas D.

The Cowboys just need to keep doing what they’re doing and they’ll be okay. There’s no reason to think that Eezy-Zeke will be thwarted in his efforts and that will limit the number of possessions that the white/lava/scorching/witheringly [runs out of breath] hot Rodgers will have to put points on the board. In addition, qb Prescott doesn’t seem to be the ‘rattleable’ type and the Pack’s D-Line isn’t a scary bunch with a lot of “Oomph!”. (says the old white guy from his couch) All in all, more things have to go right for Green Bay than Dallas-I think it should be close for most of the game but them Cowboys might pull away in the fourth. This is not my desired result, by the way.

Done. LET’S GO GET IT, POTLICKERS!!!

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ballsofsteelandfury

It looks like we’re going to OT, but I just don’t think that’s going to happen.

King Hippo

No, I would kick the FG, knowing it would activate the Mike McCarthy

Spur

Dallas needs to speed it up.

Romonobyl

You’re supposed to be better than that Butler.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Green Bay is in their Aaron Rodger’s package. In that they are getting fucked in the ass by a cowboy.

Spur

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Romonobyl

So…running the ball is working? What a concept!

Spur

Keep it up. Don’t let the cheese rest.

Romonobyl

GO TEAM!! SCORE THE POINTS AND MAKE THE TOUCHED DOWNS!!!!!

Dunstan
King Hippo

That contact was all WAAAAYYYY more than 5 yards downfield, too.

Spur

Fuck you Buck. Stay off the Cowboys jock. Go back to Rodgers.

Spur

Let’s GO COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R044sleOW6I

Brick Meathook

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Spur

GREAT JOB DEFENSE!!!

Romonobyl

Beer is gone, dipping into the wife’s Merlot. Thank God I’m off tomorrow.
/pours some out for MLK.

makeitsnowondem

I love civil rights, especially my right to get blackout drunk on Divisional Sunday.

Spur

D-Line is starting to get a push

Senor Weaselo

All right ladies and gents, I’m off for a bit, I’ll see when I return.

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be out on a boat with in-laws rather than watch a Dolphins game.

Spur

Ok, am making a drink now.

Romonobyl

I’ll take one of whatever.

Spur

Two Bushmills neat.

WCS

An interesting playoff game? WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!?

makeitsnowondem

The Cowboys will make me eat crow on my earlier prediction just because they’re not smart enough to go for two here.

Romonobyl

I’m an incredibly straight man, but I still want to have Jason Witten’s babies.

Spur

Same times I dream i’m falling and Witten is there to catch me.

Senor Weaselo

So, who bets Princeton Red fucks up football math and goes for 1?

makeitsnowondem

There was never any chance otherwise.

Romonobyl

Going for one was OK. They can go for two later if it means the game.

makeitsnowondem

Here’s what I believe on this subject: If you’re going to need two more scores instead of one more, you need to know that as soon as possible.

Brick Meathook

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ballsofsteelandfury

Troy doesn’t like it when they go soft.

litre_cola

Either does AAron.

Spur

No one can say Dez didn’t show up…he’s never been on a boat in his life.

Romonobyl
Brocky

My introduction to this song was a friend just randomly saying

Fuck Trees I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKERS!!

Spur

The Cowboys just need to run the ball

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I got pulled away to help install shelves so I missed the entire 3rd quarter. What did I miss?

Romonobyl

I just added some dark beer and beans to my chili. Other than that, not much.

litre_cola

We have turned in to a ICP fan page.

WHOOP WHOOP.

Senor Weaselo

Well it was a matter of time before we all snapped.

Brocky

Dallas playing with the hopes of people who hate the Packers

Romonobyl

Dallas…
You need to fucking score on this drive you insufferable little shits.

That is all…

ThePirateSloth

I can’t move. I have an insane food coma.

litre_cola

Is that a ICP cover band?

Spur

No huddle with run heavy play calls. Do it Dallas.

Romonobyl

WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO and YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEFUKKKKKINGHAWWWWWWW!!!!
Hookers and blow for everyone, we’ll add it to the bill for the stadium. Thank you taxpayers!

Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

RODGERSCEPTION, THEY CAN STILL HAPPEN

WCS

Well, well.

Smithchez

AACK AACK AACK?

Senor Weaselo

“Ook ook?” -Moosemas Gorilla

Dunstan

This is good. I may have a second. Then a third. Then a fifth.

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Brick Meathook

Mix with vodka and make a Lee Harvey Oswald

Spur

Dammit Brown! If Rodgers wants to be a runner blow him the fuck up!

Horatio Cornblower

Watching Morris Claiborne try to cover Adams was causing me a lot of pain so I guess we’re even.

makeitsnowondem

The Cowboys aren’t going to be within one score for the rest of this game, are they?

Old School Zero

Noooooope. They’re pretty much

toast.

Old School Zero

Oh, wait, hold that thought. The bread is still cold. THE BREAD IS STILL COLD!

Gratliff

Dallas failure is wonderful. Also, I should replay GTAV at some point.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g04dSoy5jGE

Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

No look handoff?

Spur

McCarthy is still the Packers coach, Cowboys still have a chance.

Romonobyl

So we’re back to the Romo chant already?

Spur

Gee, running the ball with Zeke was going so well, let’s throw it instead.

ThePirateSloth

JAMBINTERCEPTION

makeitsnowondem

WE WANT ROMO

litre_cola

Yes please. I want toe hottest taeks ever tomorrow. I may very well tune in to Dallas radio from work anyway. Anyone know which station has the best sports morning show down there?

herodotus450