INT. RECORDING STUDIO – NIGHT
A producer sits outside the recording booth, sipping coffee. A redheaded young man is seated inside the booth.
PRODUCER: So I’ll count it off, and then you’ll be live. I’ll feed you a few interview questions to get things started, and then we’ll start taking requests. Sound good?
—[door flies open]—
MATT McGLOIN: Sounds great!
PRODUCER: Okay, so…
MATT McGLOIN: [interrupts]…and then you guys will re-run this during drive time hour?
PRODUCER: [thrown off stride] …well…no. That’s when Jimmy and the Animal are on.
MATT McGLOIN: Nah, give ’em the morning off. People would rather hear me.
PRODUCER: I’m…not going to do that. They’re our highest-rated program.
MATT McGLOIN: Well, we’ll see. Wait until I’m done here before you make up your mind.
PRODUCER: [confused] Uh, okay, yeah, sure. We’re live in three…two…one…[points at McGLOIN]
MATT McGLOIN: [fumbles microphone]
The producer hurried mashes a button to kill the growing feedback whine as McGLOIN scrambles for the microphone.
PRODUCER: [taking over] Good evening, folks, and welcome to yet another edition of Request Line. We’re here tonight with Raiders quarterback Matt “Moxie” McGloin. How are you doing tonight, Matt?
MATT McGLOIN: Great, great. I hope the folks out there are ready for the greatest edition of Request Line in world history!
PRODUCER: [smiles wryly] Oh, I’m sure they’ve been looking forward to this all week. So, same as it did for most of the other teams in the NFL, the Raiders’ season ended on a down note with a loss in Houston.
MATT McGLOIN: Yeah, I really wish they would have put me in. I would have won.
PRODUCER: Weren’t you suffering from a separated shoulder?
MATT McGLOIN: My right arm, yeah, but the other one was fine. I could have gotten the job done.
PRODUCER: I see. So, with free agency set to start, are you looking to stay put in Oakland?
MATT McGLOIN: I don’t think so. Derek Carr is a pretty good quarterback, but I feel like my talents are being wasted on the bench. I’m looking to go somewhere where I can start. Green Bay, or maybe Carolina.
PRODUCER: Ha ha ha ha…[trails off as McGLOIN stares daggers at him]…oh. Well, I hope that works out. As you know, the Oscars are this weekend, got any dark horse picks for us?
MATT McGLOIN: Sure – I think I’ve got a good chance at taking home Best Actor.
PRODUCER: [starts laughing again, catches himself] You…think YOU are going to win Best Actor.
MATT McGLOIN: I try to stay humble, but yeah. I think I’m pretty much a lock at this point.
PRODUCER: For…which film?
MATT McGLOIN: La La Land. I was in the freeway scene.
PRODUCER: As an extra?
MATT McGLOIN: [disdainfully] I’m credited as “Someone in the Crowd”. It’s actually what the whole film is about.
PRODUCER: Okay, well, good luck! Let’s get to the music. Got a song to start us out with?
MATT McGLOIN: I sure do. This is a song from R.E.M. about a guy who’s really got it together. He’s probably a professional athlete, or maybe a C.E.O. of an international corporation. I hope you like it as much as I do. Give me a call, if you’re able to get through we’ll give your song a spin.
7 Minds- Seaside Tony
[embed]https://youtu.be/jdAeM_4UG_M[/embed]
I think this might be one of my favorite lyrics of all time:
“Like Kobe Bryant, I’m an anal tyrant ”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HY6W80N7jg
“Ditto!”
– Aaron Rodgers
“Man, this guy gets me.”
– Dan Snyder
I find this fitting, too:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z2RzVhw4rE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnEa4LJdgCM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F2i6EQsPZY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2nLmtJdZs8
So does it qualify when the first line of the song is “I used to rule the world”?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvgZkm1xWPE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hg5skx5TZM
If I had a nickel for every time I said this…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyNa-ReeZc8
/shows self out
slash makey no embed? Hmmmmmm…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxDiybGQTvY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryDOy3AosBw
A bit on the nose, perhaps, but whatever because 80s.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST86JM1RPl0
Nice
Like with Blax’s jokes, unclear if I get the theme this week, but this seems like something that could have been written by 20-30 of the starting QBs in the league:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOEtZSqUSLo
Who needs courage when you have a gun?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrHhHcrcLxI
I’d say Matt McGloin isn’t NFL starting quartback caliber, but:
http://cdn-s3.si.com/s3fs-public/styles/mmqb_marquee_large/public/2016/05/19/mmqb-brock-osweiler-softball.jpg
The Texans? Is that some minor league baseball team?
All I know is that’s the look of a man about to strike out in co-ed softball
I guarantee that Brock “Change Your Locks” Osweiler did not pay for that hat, bat, or jersey.
I said “bunt” not “gunt”!
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2245995.1433389180!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_750/s.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95kwE76Cqs4
As a way to fit with the theme, I think I’m the MVP of this request line to this point
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xd79gZSD45I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxRl4L8TEEQ
The Hives – Bigger Hole to Fill
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Ugk2FNF2124
The worst kind: I’m so superior doing stuff’s beneath me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YA2Hu-JEvNA
Kinda fits? Kinda fits.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR7-AUmiNcA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwSpn4pmv9Q
I mean, I probably could’ve included most of Kanye’s discography, but this was most appropriate
I was thinking POWER, but yeah, anything he’s ever recorded.
Yeah, this one’s a winner.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-o4hz5rB2YE
New Pornographers – The Laws Are Changed
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Sn-LDCRL8Js
How I originally interpreted the theme.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMnaa__JZbU
FUCK YEAH! This song was on a mixtape my uncle made for my dad many years ago (which I commandeered because all those mixtapes were fucking great) and I never knew who did this song.
This is Bauhaus without Peter Murphy basically. They started out as Tones on Tale. Also a very cool band.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhr_-FM8yRo
(deleted)
Trevor! Good to see you. Don’t sweat the embedding; it should do fine with a refresh.
I got drunk as fuck and smoked more tobacco than I feel comfortable with (I’m deathly afraid of getting hooked on that shit, y’know, cancer and health) so I’m kinda fucked up. This is probably the first time I got it right on the first try
Outkast – So Fresh, So Clean
https://youtube.com/watch?v=-JfEJq56IwI
Anne Frank Freaky? Anne Frank Freaky.
Bartender, let’s make that one a double….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWju37TZfo0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFBbOHohwR8
It is never too early for a DOUBLE SHOT. Especially of Bad Religion:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhyIP3gD4qA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBbRSq4W_1o
No, I’m the man.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=el66jnuItYc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vY9g-PgSiGA
N.E.R.D. – Things Are Getting Better
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KzPLPb8QuuM
Fountains of Wayne – Bright Future in Sales
https://youtube.com/watch?v=jq5W-Pc4Q4w
I used to love this band. For eight months.
Everclear – Like a California King
https://youtube.com/watch?v=OfMXZETK5lM
“McGloin is a bona fide preseason Hall of Famer”???
This is a stretch to fit the theme aside from the title…but it always makes me laugh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_c78zZy5EbE
“Hey, can you give this one a spin. It’s one of my favorite bands. Guys? Hey, guys? Guys?”
– Tom Mees
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWu7d5YqV9k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkM1pTmlhYI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8UFnc85-xM
This one goes out to OSZ.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGSYSxHmj4Q
“Ooh, dig that band.”
– Jerry Richardson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGXzlRoNtHU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXWvKDSwvls
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JOhCVOi7eE
Double shot….of sorts…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92cwKCU8Z5c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PuUflTcJzA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPZCGleqh7M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PuUflTcJzA
Ooops…reply fail there and I’m stone cold sober, even.
u took mine. asshole
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_jWHffIx5E
Carly Simon- You’re So Vain
https://youtu.be/mQZmCJUSC6g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNU3aIJs88g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AltMeuPkWRs
Can we call this a double shot?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1zktTCVrDs
Let’s start with the obvious, unless I missed the point. I often miss the point.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEea624OBzM
Let’s be generous with our interpretation and make this a DOUBLE SHOT.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xxugNQUtpE