Request Line: Delusions of Grandeur

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – NIGHT

A producer sits outside the recording booth, sipping coffee.  A redheaded young man is seated inside the booth.

PRODUCER: So I’ll count it off, and then you’ll be live.  I’ll feed you a few interview questions to get things started, and then we’ll start taking requests.  Sound good?

—[door flies open]—

MATT McGLOIN: Sounds great!

PRODUCER: Okay, so…

MATT McGLOIN: [interrupts]…and then you guys will re-run this during drive time hour?

PRODUCER: [thrown off stride] …well…no.  That’s when Jimmy and the Animal are on.

MATT McGLOIN: Nah, give ’em the morning off.  People would rather hear me.

PRODUCER: I’m…not going to do that.  They’re our highest-rated program.

MATT McGLOIN: Well, we’ll see.  Wait until I’m done here before you make up your mind.

PRODUCER: [confused] Uh, okay, yeah, sure.  We’re live in three…two…one…[points at McGLOIN]

MATT McGLOIN: [fumbles microphone]

The producer hurried mashes a button to kill the growing feedback whine as McGLOIN scrambles for the microphone.

PRODUCER: [taking over] Good evening, folks, and welcome to yet another edition of Request Line.  We’re here tonight with Raiders quarterback Matt “Moxie” McGloin.  How are you doing tonight, Matt?

MATT McGLOIN: Great, great.  I hope the folks out there are ready for the greatest edition of Request Line in world history!

PRODUCER: [smiles wryly] Oh, I’m sure they’ve been looking forward to this all week.  So, same as it did for most of the other teams in the NFL, the Raiders’ season ended on a down note with a loss in Houston.

MATT McGLOIN: Yeah, I really wish they would have put me in.  I would have won.

PRODUCER: Weren’t you suffering from a separated shoulder?

MATT McGLOIN: My right arm, yeah, but the other one was fine.  I could have gotten the job done.

PRODUCER: I see.  So, with free agency set to start, are you looking to stay put in Oakland?

MATT McGLOIN: I don’t think so.  Derek Carr is a pretty good quarterback, but I feel like my talents are being wasted on the bench.  I’m looking to go somewhere where I can start.  Green Bay, or maybe Carolina.

PRODUCER: Ha ha ha ha…[trails off as McGLOIN stares daggers at him]…oh.  Well, I hope that works out.  As you know, the Oscars are this weekend, got any dark horse picks for us?

MATT McGLOIN: Sure – I think I’ve got a good chance at taking home Best Actor.

PRODUCER: [starts laughing again, catches himself] You…think YOU are going to win Best Actor.

MATT McGLOIN: I try to stay humble, but yeah.  I think I’m pretty much a lock at this point.

PRODUCER: For…which film?

MATT McGLOIN: La La Land.  I was in the freeway scene.

PRODUCER: As an extra?

MATT McGLOIN: [disdainfully] I’m credited as “Someone in the Crowd”.  It’s actually what the whole film is about.

PRODUCER: Okay, well, good luck!  Let’s get to the music.  Got a song to start us out with?

MATT McGLOIN: I sure do.  This is a song from R.E.M. about a guy who’s really got it together.  He’s probably a professional athlete, or maybe a C.E.O. of an international corporation.  I hope you like it as much as I do.  Give me a call, if you’re able to get through we’ll give your song a spin.

 

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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nomonkeyfun

7 Minds- Seaside Tony

[embed]https://youtu.be/jdAeM_4UG_M[/embed]

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I think this might be one of my favorite lyrics of all time:

“Like Kobe Bryant, I’m an anal tyrant ”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HY6W80N7jg

SonOfSpam

“Ditto!”

– Aaron Rodgers

BrettFavresColonoscopy
laserguru
SonOfSpam

So does it qualify when the first line of the song is “I used to rule the world”?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvgZkm1xWPE

SonOfSpam

If I had a nickel for every time I said this…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyNa-ReeZc8

theeWeeBabySeamus

/shows self out

theeWeeBabySeamus

slash makey no embed? Hmmmmmm…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxDiybGQTvY

SonOfSpam

A bit on the nose, perhaps, but whatever because 80s.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST86JM1RPl0

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Like with Blax’s jokes, unclear if I get the theme this week, but this seems like something that could have been written by 20-30 of the starting QBs in the league:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOEtZSqUSLo

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Who needs courage when you have a gun?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrHhHcrcLxI

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

The Texans? Is that some minor league baseball team?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

All I know is that’s the look of a man about to strike out in co-ed softball

Trevor Semen

As a way to fit with the theme, I think I’m the MVP of this request line to this point

Trevor Semen
Trevor Semen
Don T

The Hives – Bigger Hole to Fill
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Ugk2FNF2124
The worst kind: I’m so superior doing stuff’s beneath me

theeWeeBabySeamus
Trevor Semen
Trevor Semen

I mean, I probably could’ve included most of Kanye’s discography, but this was most appropriate

Gratliff

I was thinking POWER, but yeah, anything he’s ever recorded.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Yeah, this one’s a winner.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-o4hz5rB2YE

Don T

New Pornographers – The Laws Are Changed
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Sn-LDCRL8Js

laserguru

How I originally interpreted the theme.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMnaa__JZbU

laserguru

This is Bauhaus without Peter Murphy basically. They started out as Tones on Tale. Also a very cool band.

Trevor Semen
Trevor Semen

(deleted)

Trevor Semen

I got drunk as fuck and smoked more tobacco than I feel comfortable with (I’m deathly afraid of getting hooked on that shit, y’know, cancer and health) so I’m kinda fucked up. This is probably the first time I got it right on the first try

Don T

Outkast – So Fresh, So Clean
https://youtube.com/watch?v=-JfEJq56IwI
Anne Frank Freaky? Anne Frank Freaky.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bartender, let’s make that one a double….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWju37TZfo0

laserguru
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

It is never too early for a DOUBLE SHOT. Especially of Bad Religion:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhyIP3gD4qA

SonOfSpam
Don T

N.E.R.D. – Things Are Getting Better
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KzPLPb8QuuM

Don T

Fountains of Wayne – Bright Future in Sales
https://youtube.com/watch?v=jq5W-Pc4Q4w

I used to love this band. For eight months.

Don T

Everclear – Like a California King
https://youtube.com/watch?v=OfMXZETK5lM

“McGloin is a bona fide preseason Hall of Famer”???

theeWeeBabySeamus

This is a stretch to fit the theme aside from the title…but it always makes me laugh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_c78zZy5EbE

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
theeWeeBabySeamus

Double shot….of sorts…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92cwKCU8Z5c

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ooops…reply fail there and I’m stone cold sober, even.

King Hippo

u took mine. asshole

nomonkeyfun

Carly Simon- You’re So Vain
https://youtu.be/mQZmCJUSC6g

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can we call this a double shot?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1zktTCVrDs

SonOfSpam

Let’s start with the obvious, unless I missed the point. I often miss the point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEea624OBzM