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Roundball Roundup From A Total Know-Nothing: The [DFO] Bracket Challenge

The Maestro

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Howdy, folks. Once again, March Madness – arguably the best tournament in all of sports – is just around the corner. We still have a few days to go before the final seeds are announced, but here’s a quick rundown for those of you who don’t follow college basketball too closely (which I fully admit I am a part of as well).

  • The First Four begins March 14th, and games will be played at Dayton University’s home arena in Dayton, Ohio.
  • First and second rounds will be held at the following locations:
    • March 16th & 18th:
      • KeyBank Center, Buffalo
      • Bradley Center, Milwaukee
      • Amway Center, Orlando
      • Vivint Smart Home Arena, Salt Lake City
    • March 17th & 19th:
      • Bon Secours Wellness Arena, Greenville, SC
      • Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis
      • BOK Center, Tulsa, OK
      • Golden 1 Center, Sacramento
  • Regionals semifinals/finals will be played at the following locations:
    • March 23rd & 25th:
      • Sprint Center, Kansas City (Midwest Regional)
      • SAP Center, San Jose (West Regional)
      • Madison Square Garden, NYC (East Regional)
      • FedExForum, Memphis (South Regional)
  • The Final Four and National Championship will be held at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona on April 1st and 3rd, respectively.
  • As of Tuesday morning (March 7th), the following teams have automatically qualified for the tournament due to winning their respective conference tournaments:
    • Florida Gulf Coast (Atlantic Sun) – DUNK CITY IS BACK BABY WOOOOOO!!!
    • Winthrop (Big South)
    • UNC Wilmington (CAA)
    • Iona (MAAC)
    • Wichita State (Missouri Valley)
    • Jacksonville State (Ohio Valley) – have literally never heard of this school in my life. It’s their first-ever tournament berth!
    • East Tennessee State (Southern)
  • Other things I know about college basketball:
    • UCLA is supposed to be really good this year?
      • Lonzo Ball is apparently their best player, and his little brother is named LaMelo – yes, really – and little bro dropped 92 points in a high school game this year due to zero D being played. Cherry-picking little shit.
    • Fuck Duke, forever. Coach K is a sadistic sociopath from what I hear.
      • Duke also has Grayson Allen, who looks like Ted Cruz and has an extreme propensity for tripping other players. Fuck that guy too.
      • Ted Cruz also thinks he looks like Grayson Allen, and dunked on Deadspin via Twitter in comparing himself to Allen. Now I’m just sad that this good meme is offically dead and buried.

Anyways, enough with the technicalities! We’re also hosting a Bracket Challenge again this year. If you’d like to join, click the link below. Password is doorfliesopen. Try and make your entry in line with your username on here so we know who’s who. No prizes to be won, but the winner will get themselves immortalized* (*temporarily ensconced) on our scrolly-text thing at the end of the tournament.

http://games.espn.com/tournament-challenge-bracket/en_CA/group?invitesource=email&groupID=1554175&inviteuser=e0MyNzAzREYwLTA5NEMtNEMyQS04Qjc3LTBGRjNCMDQ2QzhDMX0%3D&ex_cid=tcmen2017_email&redirect=tcmen%3A%2F%2Fx-callback-url%2FshowGroup%3FgroupID%3D1554175&groupp=ZG9vcmZsaWVzb3Blbg%3D%3D

Hope to see you all in the competition!

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[…] will remind you, however, about the DFO Bracket Challenge. Use your knowledge or ignorance to achieve bragging rights over all who visit the site. Plus, […]

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sunrisesunrise

Grayson Allen doesn’t just trip players anymore. He’s added throwing elbows to his repertoire.

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sunrisesunrise

And he throws a mean tantrum.

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JustStopDude

Can’t do it. I can’t handle getting pissed off about Fantasy Football and a March Madness bracket in the same fiscal year.

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litre_cola

Will NC State be in? I kind of want to see the couple of you lose your minds in real time.

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King Hippo

Mathematical elimination fever. Catch it!!

1
jjfozz

Typical dickhead: “DOOOD did you see my bracket? Do you have a bracket? BRACKET! BRACKET! BRAAAAAACKET! Undefeated and here’s my upset pick! DOOOOD!”

Me: [knees person in crotch] “You are a dumb piece of shit.”

4
Warthog

Not scheduled for an NCAA game? North Carolina. Fuck you ex-gov Pat and general assembly. Not that I really give a shit about the games, but HB2 is just wrong.

/Coming soon to a bathroom near you.
//Pun not intended. Really.

3
litre_cola

The hate is strong in this one.

/applauds

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blaxabbath

This is the year Gonzaga becomes the first #1 to get bounced in their opener.

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entropy

Ahhh, Gonzaga…. has any college basketball team ever broken so many brackets as Gonzaga? They are consistently ranked highly, and always disappoint.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The First Four is a stupid concept with a stupid name, and the NCAA is a bunch of stupidheads.

This comment is still more lucid than anything produced by a U*NC education.

3
entropy

Did you watch UNC Greensboro utterly fail to tie the game on a wide-open 3-pointer last night?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t really watch college basketball until I start betting on it during the tournament. #flawlessplanning

3
King Hippo

It was beautiful.

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entropy

Single best St. Patrick’s Day I can remember was Lehigh beating Duke in the first round on a Friday night (the 16th), and then Saturday just being a big ass party in South Bethlehem. Hell yes I’m in on this one.

(Fully expects bracket to be broken by third game of tournament)

1
WCS

PROTIP:

WVU is either going to Elite Eight, or will lose by 15 in their first round game. There is literally no in-between with them.

1
blaxabbath

I hate UCLA but it’s scary to see that this team has discovered defense in the last month. But they’re soft AF coming out of a PAC-12 that will call anyone for breathing on Bryce Alford or Lonzo Ball. You know how people like to bitch that “stars get the calls” in the NBA? That’s pretty much the mission statement of the PAC-12 Commissioners Office (Larry Scott tampers with officiating crews).

UCLA is going to smash a couple teams in the tourney before flailing and bitching-for-calls-ing their way to a second weekend loss, which will [B]ruin many brackets.

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