Hey everybody! I’m back!

I took the last 2 weeks off to attend to some things, including totally fucking dominating a homemade pizza challenge. I also had a family get together where I cooked things we’ve already discussed in the past but I’m back with a motherfucking vengeance! Thanks to Low Commander and Senor Weaselo for filling in during my absence.

The get together I hosted was for Saint Patrick’s Day which we actually celebrated the day after due to work schedules and so on. Don’t get me wrong I personally celebrated on Saint Patrick’s Day but the family get together was the day after.

Know what I did on Saint Patrick’s Day?

Yep.

Go ahead and enlarge that photo.

The corned beef in the photo was cooked using the rinse, cover in mustard, wrap in foil and bake for 3 1/2 hour technique that is mentioned in the link above. I sliced it thick when done and used a layer of thin sliced aged Irish cheddar on the bottom slice of the sandwich and used more mustard on the top slice.

God.

Damn.

Yes, I had corned beef on consecutive days and I have zero regrets. I did need to use a fair amount of dental floss but I have no regrets.

So this is where you are probably asking yourself “If you made corned beef like you did last year, what the fuck are we even here for?”

For my witty insight and culinary prowess you damn heathens, that’s why.

Actually if you glance at the banner photo, not to mention the title of this post which is a sure as shit dead giveaway, you will notice a stew of some sort. Irish stew in fact and it’s fucking magical when done right.

Doing this right means using lamb.

Yes, motherfucking lamb.

I guarantee, there will be more than one reader who doesn’t like lamb and that’s cool. It takes a bit of getting used to if all you’ve ever consumed is store bought, mass produced beef and/or pork. There’s definitely a bit of gaminess at first but it’s a rich, meaty, delicious flavor. Holy balls I love lamb.

That’s settles it. I’m getting some gyros tomorrow.

I got to thinking about some of the various animals and such that I’ve consumed before and it’s a pretty decent list of furry woodland animals that died for my eating pleasure.

Let’s see:

Goat. Ever tried birria, or Mexican stewed goat? Son-of-a-bitch it’s delicious. I’ve also had Jamaican stewed goat and curried goat.

Goat is similar in ways to lamb but it has a bit more gaminess.

Ox-tails. Hell yes. Closer to beef than lamb with a bit of funk but the gelatinous texture that ox tails have is delightful in stews and soups.

Elk: Both elk steaks and elk sausage. Loved them both. Very lean and they bring the funk as well.

Venison: I prefer mine to be sloooooow cooked. I’ve had venison steaks and they are fine but a little too lean for my taste. You just knew I’ve eaten some Bambi didn’t you?

Wild boar: outstanding. I think this is what pork originally tasted like before we fucked around with it and turned it into the “other white meat.” Bastards.

Alligator: Yes sir. Alligator tail, deep fried is a creole delicacy. Alligator sausage is fantastic in gumbo. It does taste like chicken but it’s got a little brininess that almost leans to a seafood.

Reindeer: Fuck, if I’ve eaten Bambi, what’s to stop me from eating Rudolph too? I’ve only had it in sausage though.

My oddest food venture though?

Rattlesnake. I’m not talking about going to the damn carnival and having a piece of deep fried rattlesnake on a stick either. See that picture? That’s a Mojave Green rattlesnake or Crotalus scutulatus. These babies are native to the American Southwest and Mexico and are said to have the most toxic venom of any rattler found in North America.

How did we come about this badass motherfucker? Back in my earlier days, say in my early 20’s I was how you say? A fucking maniac. I lived in the Mojave desert for several years and I would hang with a group of equally insane people and we would do insane shit. Like hunt for rattlesnakes. Sidewinders were a dime a dozen and you could collect them by the dozens if you wished but a Mojave Green was pretty rare and if captured alive you could sell it to a company that manufactured anti-venom because of the toxic nature. I never personally sold a snake but some of my compadres did.

Now since we were fucking insane of course we had a glass terrarium in our den that housed 2 sidewinders and a Mojave Green. This was probably not a smart idea since we hosted keggers on more than one occasion and after a quick near-miss, we released the snakes back into the wild.

The snake that we cooked though we caught one night out on a desert highway late at night while it crawled onto the asphalt to warm itself. Recognizing it as a Mojave Green right as the snake went under the truck we were riding in, it went between the two sets of tires, we decided to capture it. Great idea until the driver put the truck in reverse. And backed over it’s head.

Disclaimer: The next part of our tale is a little gnarly so skip to the recipe if you want.

Apparently just backing over the head of a rattlesnake doesn’t “kill” kill it because this damn thing was still squirming and rolling around like crazy. We put it into a cloth bag and took it home. At home we removed the head and skinned the snake because snake skins are bad-fucking-ass to hang on your wall if you’re a goddamn maniac like we were. We salted the inside of the skin to act as a preservative and after it dried we had this beautiful skin that one of my tweaker friends stole at a house party.

After skinning the snake, we cut it open and gutted it and fired up a charcoal grill. I added a little black pepper and garlic salt and tossed that bastard right on the grill.

When it hit the grill surface, despite being headless, skinless and gutless the motherfucker still twisted all over the grill.

Yeah.

You know what? It tasted like chicken! With too much garlic salt and holy fuck, the bones! Think of the number of bones in a trout or catfish and multiply that by 50 and you get an idea.

So is everybody all hungry and ready to cook now?

Sorry, went on a little tangent there.

Irish stew!

2 pounds of lamb chops.

Salt

Pepper

2 tablespoons of roux

2 tablespoons of oil

1 pound of baby carrots.

1 pound of pearl onions

A potato or two depending on size cut into cubes.

1/2 bottle of Guinness Extra Stout or a dark stout of your choice.

4 cups of beef stock

1/2 teaspoon of thyme.

Fresh chopped parsley for a garnish.

Base recipe courtesy of Emeril Lagasse.

Before getting started we need to address those pearl onions. If you’ve never worked with pearl onions before they look like a massive pain in the dick to peel. There is a trick to that though.

Get a pot of water on the stove and bring to a boil. Add in the onions and cook for about 2 minutes.

Drain the onions into a colander and immediately place the onions into an ice bath. That’s a bowl with ice cubes in it for the new folks. Remove the onions, chop off the root end of the onion and you can squeeze the inside of the onion right out of it’s skin. It still takes a few minutes but it beats the shit out of trying to peel them uncooked. When peeled you have a bowl of onions ready to use.

Add the baby carrots to the bowl of onions and season with some salt and pepper.

Now lets get the chops going.

In a Dutch oven add the oil and bring to a medium-high heat. Season the chops with salt and pepper and sear for about 4 minutes per side.

Remove the chops from the pan and add in half a bottle of Guinness, you may now drink the rest of the bottle. Stir the beer around in the crispy bits of the pot making sure to scrape up the tasty brown bits with a spoon.

Add the stock, the chops, the thyme and the carrots and onions. Reduce to a low simmer and cook for about 2 hours until the meat is falling off the bone.

Add in the cubed potatoes for the last half hour of cooking. About 5 minutes before serving stir in the roux to thicken and you are ready to party.

A note about stewing pearl onions: they will pretty much dissolve during the cooking process. While they won’t be visible they will impart a glorious oniony goodness to the dish.

Ladle the stew into bowls and serve alongside some crusty bread. My oldest daughter made Irish soda bread again which is according to family tradition. Yes, I did grab some more corned beef too.

The stew is deeply rich, with enough of the Guinness shining through to give it a slight maltiness. The pearl onions may not be visible but their presence is a big part of the dish. The tender lamb has it’s lean and slightly gamey say-so as well.

Hey look! No garlic! I just noticed that. What the fuck, dude?

Remember we are trying to keep it simple and traditional.

Hey you know what?

You can use chuck roast that you’ve cubed and removed some of the fat and gristle from if you can’t get past the lamb thing. I promise this is one of the best ways to adjust to lamb if you aren’t a fan. If you don’t like this you can officially say you don’t like lamb.

So there we go. Bookmark this shit for next Saint Patrick’s Day or just make it whenever the fuck you want.

It’s good to be back with you and as always thanks for reading.

Now let me tell you about the time we found an armadillo…

Peace!