OK, so for the first time in like….wait, how long have I been the Pimp of [DFO] again???? …. Anyway, I’m too lazy to go check, but let’s call it six months. Close enough.
But yeah, for the first time in six-ish months, I’ve begun typing out this week’s TGISF without yet having decided on a theme. And it’s not as if I don’t have themes available. No shit. I’ve got a little legal pad here on my desk where I jot notes down so my damaged gray matter doesn’t forget stuff. One whole page is dedicated to theme ideas to fall back on for TGISF when there aren’t any timely themes to seize upon. I mean, it is the offseason and summer is coming. I can’t do baseball every damned week, can I?
No, availability of theme ideas is not the problem. It’s indecision and apathy. My own apathy, to be clear. I frankly just don’t care this week. When we get to the part of tonight’s program where the sexy is supposed to be….well I guess we’ll see what happens.
Also, let it be known that I still hate Brocky. Jerk.
Yes, I might be a little bit obsessed. Shut up.
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This Is Why If There is a Hell, I’ll be on the Express Elevator Down
So I was told late last week by a hospice nurse that my paternal grandfather (who just turned 99 in March and is a hateful person in general and also a huge racist) was on his deathbed. He would not survive 48 hours, she told me. Well that stupid **** owes me one dead racist. Dude woke up a day and a half later and started talking (stupid racist shit as usual) and asking for food. Like no lie, I’m trying to find a legal loophole to sue the hospice people. SHE PROMISED ME A DEAD RACIST ASSHOLE AND SHE DID NOT DELIVER!!!!
No lie, when I saw him up, conscious, and taking in nourishment, I was totes disappoint. And I don’t even feel badly, FWIW. Old hateful fucker needed to die years ago…he just can’t figure out how to takez his moneh’s with him. Not to mention how to continue being an irritating prick once he’s dead. But I’m sure he’ll find a way.
So yeah….I’m going to hell (allegedly).
Speaking of irritating pricks…..
I also yelled at one of my other family members this week because she decided to be an irritating prick at the wrong time too. Don’t walk into my house and start talking your pathetic drivel about the University* of North Carolina’s latest ill gotten national championship. I really didn’t think she was THAT stupid. A school which, as I had to remind her….SHE DIDN’T EVEN GET ACCEPTED INTO!!!!! Jeebus. And then no fewer than three other family members called me later to bitch me out for being mean to her. No shit.
Guess what they all got told? If she’s no smarter than that then she got what was coming to her. And if the rest of you don’t get it by now, you’ll soon get the same. I’m done with this family’s dumbass redneck bullshit. Goodbye.
Easter egg hunt should be interesting next weekend.
Meh…Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.
–
Anybody Give a Shit About Sports This Week?
So, should I shirk my open thread duties for a 3rd straight week, or should we talk about sports? Yeah, I’m undecided too. Meh, screw it….
The Masters is in full swing and folks are going down like it’s the US Open. Danny Willett (he’s the defending Masters Champion btw, you heathens) really fucked up today. Oh well, so did everybody else. It won’t get fun again until Sunday.
Baseball is back in case you hadn’t noticed. 2 games in and Baltimore is still perfect. I love April. June will suck, though. Also, Mad Bum did this on opening day….
Giants still lost to the DBacks tho. So sad….
What’s going on in Hockey? Well lookit that…Caps have clinched #1 seed in the East and another President’s Trophy. Unfortunately, the Pens are still right on their tail and it’ll probably end the same as last year. Moving on…..
Friday NHL Schedule Wow really? Only one game? Wow NHL, way to maximize your visibility.
Basketball? Nah. But here’s their schedule tonight if you care.
–
Under A Month to Go
Can’t freaking wait. But I am getting increasingly irritated that I can’t bring my own board….
GET OFF MY DRUMKIT FLEA!!!!!!!!!
Well fuck you too, dicknose. But yeah, that deserves a double shot…
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Sexy Mexy Update
So I know none of you cares, but if I don’t do these updates/promos for ISoG, ballsofsteelandfury beats me with a garden hose. Which is actually not terrible, but still. He does it out of anger and I don’t like that. His stress levels are too high already.
But later tonight, the final sub-episode of Nogales Week!!!!!™ goes live. Remember last week when I told you there were nekkid celebs? Well that happens tonight. And if you’re up to date on your reading assignments, you know who it’s gonna be already. I also get beat up a little more by Leticia, but only after she saves my ass (and balls’ ass too!!). There’s also a buttload of sex (no, not like that) and Dave ends up with a crisis of his own. Which leads me to a crisis myself. It’s…kinda weird. But hopefully funny.
Next week, after we’ve finally found our way out of Mexico, we begin to leave a wake of destruction in Arizona. But I can’t tell you too much about that yet. For now, let’s just say you shouldn’t ever let a Mexican drive in southern Arizona. ‘Nuff said. Also….NAWT RAYCESS!!!!!!!
Tonight at Midnight EDT, then Monday at 11am normal time.
–
Apathetic Sexy
Yeah so, screw themes this week I guess. I’m just gonna post some random Sexy and you’re gonna deal with it. I have faith in you….
–
OK, I guess now I have to look thru my own photos. WhyTF don’t I take pictures of naked, or even half naked girls? That seems way more fun, don’t you think? Instead I take pictures of all this nature crap. Meh.
Here we go….
This song goes with it too….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDGdtukIxUk
–
So yeah, that’s it I guess.
In spite of my overriding apathy, still love ya’s. As far as you know.
–
Who’s your Daddario?
Toe the line.
Niiiiiiiiiiice
This Seth Smith feller might be a nice addition.
Fuck off, Yankees.
Do you mean the team or……….
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EZzPkMDloO0/T57p3nHSWJI/AAAAAAAACik/WUtDoEYd7DM/w1200-h630-p-k-no-nu/krieger_also_yes%255B1%255D.jpg
She is northern Minnesota white (clear).
http://68.media.tumblr.com/0118124713c1ffb0731b3fb5c1d13a6f/tumblr_oo1lwxQdAX1r8u8uko1_500.jpg
Pretzel bread > potato skins < ants
You’d eat these bacon & egg bombs in a fucking second.
Do people made of corn puff up instead of tan?
“KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL” THEY SAID!!!
Turns out searching “magnetic balls” on Amazon doesn’t turn up anything dirty, just the recalled magnetic balls we were looking for
Granted; I may have mistyped….
http://www.thepleasurecompany.com/shop/images/BAE-BW-1Web.jpg
http://i3.cpcache.com/product/746558677/balls_of_steel_tshirt.jpg
Oh, apparently this is a pinball reference and not a shirt for Mr. Balls of DFO fame.
I may regret asking, but what are those supposed to be for?
MAY regret asking????????
I’m just gonna stand over here and watch. This is gonna be fun.
http://www.thepleasurecompany.com/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=12&products_id=58
Too cheap.
Cop out.
Safer route for the woman on the go!
http://www.bedroomjoys.com/uploaded/thumbnails/nasstoys-ben-wa-balls_12345_700x700.jpg
I may regret asking, but……
PULL THEM OUT NOW!!
Speaking of Rick and Morty, I have a theory: Curt Schilling and Dan Harmon are the same person
…
Or at least have the same speech therapist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbpd-RJwZZk
Super far in the future, but is the Superb Owl before or after Feb 8th in 2018? I might be in Singapore. I’m actually kinda down with the idea of watching football in the middle of the night with random Singaporean expats.
So….I totally just got the Rick and Morty Hemingway joke, and DAMN
(has never watched Rick and Morty)
As someone who only started watching recently, and as someone who is confused when people don’t get my constant Futurama references, you would really enjoy it.
She’s right.
You would.
Yup, still funny….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkFaIxpbHvM
Holee crap herpes! http://legal.blog.ajc.com/2016/06/23/georgia-judge-loses-it-over-vulgar-courtroom-exchange/
Wubba lubba dub dub!
Luis Severino just gave tWBS a bigger boner than any of these pictures.
Nah, he’s got a long way to go to make up for the Ubaldo mistakes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6PNc9KN50M
I like her.
Not a fan; it’s a fart.
http://bouncebreak.com/gif/bounce/100-cleavage.gif
Well, let’s not rule anything out.
http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1352403/thumbs/s-GOLDEN-GIRLS-large640.jpg?6
http://www.quickmeme.com/img/86/861fe80b06b3e3c35d68677cdb14379bc2ec0c7faf65230d8fa6e93494eab818.jpg
http://gizmodo.com/with-attack-on-syria-trump-alienates-the-alt-right-1794099968
“BUT HE WAS CONNED!!!”
What’s harder to admit? That your man is a con-artist or a mark?
Richard Spencer
@RichardBSpencer
The #AltRight is against a war in Syria. Period. We want good relations with Bashar al-Assad, and we urge Trump to halt the rush to war.
Would being born with a clubbed foot be a military deferment, even if it had been treated and mostly corrected? Asking for a son..I MEAN FRIEND!!
If this is you being apathetic, the site would shut down the internet when you actually applied yourself.
Great job!
http://m.quickmeme.com/img/6d/6d7c6d5f36bd83531234814defa98d92eafcf1ae30e81b98671106ebfab3481d.jpg
http://oi46.tinypic.com/9kqc7q.jpg
You have no idea.
You left the country just in time.
http://pedestriantv-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images%2Farticle%2F2015%2F04%2F22%2FJLD.gif
Hullo! *erp* I’m a liiiitle drunk already.
Yew-Ess-Ay! Yew-Ess-Ay!
http://media4.popsugar-assets.com/files/2014/04/14/900/n/1922283/10b1fd08ef2e571d_tumblr_md4qzdSqKh1qh01r8o1_500.xxxlarge.gif
http://blog.chron.com/tubular/files/2013/12/brandi-drinking-problem.gif
http://media.tumblr.com/a404dd616cbccfe8f1f30ef02e782cfa/tumblr_inline_mpoeb0P0mK1qz4rgp.gif
Artist’s Rendering…
balls and tWBS in Nogales.
I’m not sure who is who, so please don’t ask.
/didn’t think this thru
Ubaldo Jimenez is pitching tonight.
My suicide chances just skyrocketed.
http://www.btchflcks.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/tumblr_m5qlv5q7dG1qfy2kdo1_500.gif
Aaaaand there it is…float a duck over the middle, Holliday turns it around really fucking fast for a 2 run HR.
Jeebus.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1pv0bJzicB0/T6vFiAdC8pI/AAAAAAAACNE/EMmN6OUShF8/s1600/alison+brie+leno.jpg
http://24.media.tumblr.com/59d618fea612d7e46cff24e78510c817/tumblr_mzpjz9h5J61si3tc1o2_500.gif
http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/grownups2.gif
http://media1.giphy.com/media/5xtDarqW0Se06NkV8NG/giphy.gif
http://media.tumblr.com/0b7f95e4e13dfea1b320b1fd8ff0bdbd/tumblr_inline_mor3e4d5zT1qz4rgp.gif
http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2013-09/enhanced/webdr06/23/12/anigif_enhanced-buzz-30141-1379953657-6.gif
http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzp97wn2kt1qfmob0o1_500.gif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgkdglk0vA1qbayu6o1_500.gif
http://content7.flixster.com/photo/12/97/30/12973089_ori.jpg
http://www.wallpapersxl.com/wallpapers/348×356/anna-silk-and-zoie-palmer/1824563/anna-silk-and-zoie-palmer-tumblr-mynnqomitsolko-1824563.2.jpg
http://hometheaterhifi.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/spartacus-image2-lg.jpg
http://www.media4.hw-static.com/wp-content/uploads/23868643.jpg
http://25.media.tumblr.com/4347144e20cd279c837ba1731dcad2be/tumblr_mvjklpmzNT1qkdj7xo4_500.gif
http://i1217.photobucket.com/albums/dd388/Jayma23/WhenImSixtyFour2.gif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/388a807add1950a970d386ac7455f33c/tumblr_mvjjyib70b1rb4mroo2_r1_250.gif
http://24.media.tumblr.com/7891837440ed5212c68e9d48b721be00/tumblr_n02hv5cYWs1qdiju8o1_500.gif
http://www.seriouseats.com/images/2013/11/20131122-day-in-the-life-robyn-sausage.gif
http://31.media.tumblr.com/be602a127ea6f08c4be5a67fb656adf7/tumblr_n179dbor2u1qi4vb9o7_r1_500.gif
http://i1.wp.com/kingoftheflatscreen.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/katrina-law_57482.jpg
Splooshie.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/99f06866cc631c6ab830c2f72b0953fb/tumblr_mv8s9nLCqX1sqmwr8o2_500.gif
http://images.cinemaring.com/upload/upload_screenshots/images/cr_actors/3/3/3/b1c7c10a5f867948a6ecec14c678ee1f.jpg
Sploosh.
http://i694.photobucket.com/albums/vv306/WithinDemise/gif/viva10_zps6ea30d26.gif
http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/39100000/Kara-Danvers-supergirl-2015-tv-series-39127553-239-400.gif
http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/chad-johnson.gif
http://www.kiss925.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/59/2017/02/ISSUES.gif
http://cdn.emgn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/EMGN-Reality-TV-14.gif
http://event.etix.com/ticket/online/performanceSale.do?performance_id=2131692&method=restoreToken
SEXY HoF!
TINY RICK!