I’m going to admit something to you folks right off the bat:  This edition of the AFL Beat is going to be… a little weird.  Yes, I understand it was weird the last couple of weeks with tWBS taking over and doing a masterful job.  I’m not talking about that, although I want to thank tWBS for reminding me that it is important to insert a picture of a hot girl into every post.  FWIW, this is how I picture his Australian Nazi Swans supporter acquaintance:

No, reason #1 this edition of the AFL Beat is going to be weird is that I’m still trying to catch up on sleep from my trip.  Pro-tip:  If your flight arrives from Europe late afternoon on a Sunday night and you live on the West Coast, you may not want to wake up at 4:45 AM on Monday and go to work.  And do that for five days straight.  I really should have taken the extra day to adjust.

Reason #2 is that the Round is still going on!  Actually, as this post goes up on Monday morning, the Richmond Tigers and Melbourne Demons will be hitting the Three Quarter Time mark at the MCG.  Yes, that’s a Monday Night Footy match in Australia.  Not only that, there is still ANOTHER game happening later tonight at 10:20 PM Pacific between the Essendon Bombers and the Collingwood Magpies!  That’s Tuesday in Australia!

Yes, tWBS was probably high when he wrote up the schedule last week, but no, he was not wrong.  This is all due to the ANZAC holiday in Australia which commemorates Australian and New Zealand armed forces that have fought together in all wars and conflicts.  Originally, this holiday was meant to remember the Australian and New Zealand Armed Corps (hence the acronym ANZAC) that fought at the Gallipoli campaign in World War 1 against the Ottoman Empire.

The AFL has joined the festivities in the past by playing games in New Zealand and having the now-traditional Essendon-Collingwood ANZAC Day clash at the MCG. Since ANZAC Day is every April 25, the game is being held on a Tuesday this year.  Oh, and Collingwood turn around and play Geelong on Saturday next week on five days rest.

Given all that, this edition of the AFL Beat will be a lot like Wolfman Rob’s high school report card:  Full of Incompletes.

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

We start off the Round on Australian Friday Night (Thursday late night/Friday morning for us in North America) with the Port Adelaide Power hosting the Carlton Blues. This was always going to be a tough task for the Blues and the only real question was what the ultimate losing margin would be.  I thought I was being generous by saying the Power would win by 43 in our Footy Tipping Contest.  Turns out I was way off.  The final score was 147-37.

Yikes!  Here are the “highlights”:

On Proper Friday Night (Saturday in Australia), the Western Bulldogs hosted the Brisbane Lions at the Etihad and I did manage to catch this game live. The Lions played really well and actually led most of the way! Unfortunately for Lions fans, they basically ran out of gas in the fourth and the Doggies took the game running away by 122-90. The Lions are a young squad and the new coach is doing wonders over there.  Hopefully, they will learn from this and continue to improve.

Here are the highlights:

Later that night, the Gold Coast Suns hosted the red-hot Adelaide Crows.  This one, much like the Port Adelaide-Carlton match, was simply a matter of what the final margin would be.  At least the Suns were able to greatly outscore the Blues although they still lost by 67.  Here are the highlights:

The next game was the Sydney Derby between the Swans and the Giants.  The Swans were 0-4 going into it and really needed a win.  The Giants needed to prove that they are indeed Finals contenders. What would happen?

We’re looking at the Swans starting off the game hot with something to prove and at the Giants slowly asserting themselves and completely taking over the game.  The final score of 105-63 was indicative of the Giants’ dominance.  The Swans are now 0-5 and I beseech tWBS to NOT email Aussie Nazi to gloat.

BTW, I think Louise is tWBS in animated form.  And as a little girl.  Just sayin’.  Here are the highlights:

The last game of Australian Saturday featured Fremantle hosting the North Melbourne Kangaroos.  The Roos, as you may recall, have been in EVERY game and have lost every one of them in heartbreaking fashion. Chalk up another one as the Roos continued their pattern of 2017 by playing well, leading late, and then losing by a very small margin.  This time, it was 67-62 after leading late in the fourth.  This may be a lost season already at 0-5, but if the Roos can learn from this and start putting teams away, they will be very dangerous at the end of this year and next year.

Here are the highlights:

There were two games on the Australian Sunday/North American Saturday Night slate:  St. Kilda hosting Geelong and the winless Hawthorn Hawks hosting the West Coast Eagles.  I take special pleasure in typing “winless Hawthorn Hawks” as it has been very rare in the last decade to be able to say that and even rarer to be able to say it going into Round 5.  Well, I can’t say it anymore as they belted the Eagles at home to the tune of 125-75.

Man, the Eagles really can’t play for shit outside of Perth, can they?  Here are the highlights:

The Geelong-St. Kilda game started at 10:20 PM on Saturday night, so I was able to catch the first half before I crashed out.  It was a very good and close game for the first half that I saw and it continued that way into the third quarter. The Cats turned on the jets in the fourth, though, and left the Saints in the dust going on to win 126-88.  Here are the highlights:

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With two games to go, here is the Incomplete Ladder:

And let’s take a look at the Incomplete standings in our Footy Contest:

As always, don’t forget to PUT THE FOOTY TIP IN!!!

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And now let’s take a look at next week’s games, shall we?

Friday, April 28, 2017

2:50 AM – GWS Giants v Western Bulldogs at the UNSW Canberra Oval in Canberra

The Giants are the “Home” team in this game as they regularly play a few games in Australia’s capital. It shapes up as a good close game. If the Giants can win, this will go a long way towards justifying those finals aspirations.

8:45 PM – Hawthorn Hawks v St. Kilda Saints at University of Tasmania Stadium in Tasmania

Yet another “Home” game for a team that hosts home games away from home.  To be fair, the Hawks do play well in Tasmania and this shapes up as a good opportunity for them to get closer to respectability.  The Saints have to win in order to salvage their season and finals hopes. 3-3 is WAY better than 2-4.

9:10 PM – Carlton Blues v Sydney Swans at the MCG

This is one of the Blues’ best chances this year to get a win.  The winless Swans (it feels nice to type that too) will come out hard from the beginning again (phrasing).  The big question is whether the Blues’ defence can hold them down to a reachable score.

11:35 PM – Brisbane Lions v Port Adelaide Power at the Gabba

This is the kind of game that Port drops. They look really good against quality opposition and then shit the bed on the road against a lowly team like the Lions. Will this happen again?  The Lions are a lot better than last year…

Saturday, April 29, 2017

2:25 AM – North Melbourne Kangaroos v Gold Coast Suns at the Etihad

This is the game where the Roos finally win.  Let’s face it, if they can’t win this one, this is going to be a long long LONG season.  On the flipside, I’m not sure how the Suns have won two games.  They look awful.

3:10 AM – West Coast Eagles v Fremantle Dockers at Domain Stadium

The Perth Derby!  I have a feeling this one will be close.  Going by last year, the Eagles should win, but the Dockers have bounced back from an 0-2 start to win three straight and they are looking good.

8:10 PM – Essendon Bombers v Melbourne Demons at the Etihad

I really like the Bombers.  I like how they’ve bounced back after all the shit they’ve gone through in the last few years.  On the other hand, I have an irrational hatred for the Demons.  Guess who I’m rooting for?

10:20 PM – Geelong Cats v Collingwood Magpies at the MCG

The Pies are coming off a short week while the Cats are rested.  This is yet another “Home” game as the Cats’ stadium is under construction and the home dates are limited.  Incidentally, the Cats are pissed they have so few games in Geelong.  They are petitioning the AFL to increase the home dates for next year and to stop playing “home” games in Melbourne against Melbourne teams.  Kinda takes the home field advantage away, doesn’t it?

11:40 PM – Adelaide Crows v Richmond Tigers at Adelaide Oval

This is the premier matchup of the Round.  The #1 team in the competition against, at worst case, the #3 team but maybe the #2 team depending on what is happening as this post goes up.  This one will determine if the Tigers are for real.

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That’s all for this week. I leave you with yet another reason why the Brisbane Lions AFL Women’s team was my favorite team:

See you next week!