INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
A young man sits inside a recording booth, looking relaxed and happy. The PRODUCER is outside the booth, punching buttons and counting off with his fingers. For once, everything seems to be running quite smoothly.
PRODUCER: Good afternoon, and welcome to Request Line! We are beyond thrilled to welcome today’s guest to the studio, Raiders franchise quarterback Derek Carr.
DEREK: Thanks for having me, it’s a pleasure to be here.
PRODUCER: So when I said “franchise” I wasn’t kidding, just this week you inked a deal making you the highest paid player in the NFL and locking you in as a Raider for the next five years.
DEREK: That’s right. I’m honored that the Raiders consider me to be such a valuable part of the team, and looking forward to training camp now that it’s all been resolved.
PRODUCER: I understand there was a bit of difficulty getting the deal done?
DEREK: Yeah, but not in the way that people think.
PRODUCER: Oh?
DEREK: Mainly it was just communication issues. Every time we’d sit down to work on terms, Mark Davis would start pounding on the table with his fists and yelling “GIVE DEREK ALL THE MONEY”. It was hard to get a word in edgewise. But it worked out fine in the end. I really wanted to make sure we could structure things to keep the core of the team together, and we’re on the right track as far as that’s concerned. Gabe Jackson just got his deal done too, we should be in good position to lock Khalil Mack back up next year.
PRODUCER: How’s the leg feel?
DEREK: Great, great. Or as Marcus Mariota would put it, quack, quack.
PRODUCER: It seems like you two are destined to build a nice rivalry, with the Titans franchise seeming to have turned a corner of their own.
DEREK: I’m hoping so. They’re our first opponent this year, and I know Marcus is looking forward to the season as much as I am.
PRODUCER: So are you ready to play some music?
DEREK: I sure am. I thought for a topic today we’d go with songs about “money”. Give us a call, folks, and let us know what you want to hear, and for a price (ha ha ha) I’ll give it a spin. I’ll get us started with one that I myself had never heard before being introduced to it here on Request Line.
As the song plays, the PRODUCER takes off his headphones and turns to CONNOR, THE INTERN.
PRODUCER: You know, that’s probably the smoothest lead-in we’ve ever hard.
CONNOR: [shakes himself awake] Huh?
PRODUCER: Yeah…yeah.
—
More 80s goodness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHhOUYdg2S8
I always thought B was the best middle initial because you automatically have a dope rap name.
Middle name: Beauregard
Rap name: King Cotton Hill
http://www.dw.com/image/39243141_303.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QL3Rj9IT4Mc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01mfyZ9awJs
Saw them play this live last weekend. Lost my damn mind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3XEIOqWtnA
Close enough….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_kEYzbadDI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJOjTNuuEVw
http://www.bundyology.com/hpg/zz523.jpg
Gold!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNX46GThcrY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnZWIbv4cjU
Both are a bit of a stretch, but here’s an attempt at a double shot anyway….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W05cPXpUHGI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4VJScOWwkQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6jSdLpIzHc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jtGJaS_Pr4
THIS GUY, tWBS, I CALL HIM CANADIAN SNIPER, BECAUSE HE ONLY LIKES SINGLE SHOTS.
They don’t call me Minute Man for nothing.
Single shot, then a nap.
(also I hadn’t refreshed so didn’t recognize yours for what it was until it was too late)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZmVE6NaWVo
Hawt taek: These guys are good. Ok, not that hawt.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GuUbziASwE
DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-dbUBwqxos
Awwww yeahhhhh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCNiKy3olnY
Here we go!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmzIKX4xNyM
Hmm, maybe I should have titled this post “Hard Carrency”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsFRMTbhOn0
And a relatively new one at that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dZTkLNcZ2c
I only know like eight songs from this decade.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31xa0CLbcls
This song always reminds me of Empire Records. I have issues.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-P2qL3qkzk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtD4c4ioaAk
double shot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAdTbE9LAtY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUpJlui_Y4I
More about GREED than money, specifically, but “…and nothing’s as precious…as a hole in the ground” is one of the best lyrics ever penned.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ofrqm6-LCqs
Bonus: Peter Garrett is a giant bald weird human rights guy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aynCgnbbgbM
I’m sorry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tphl_dOWVmc
Melania Trump does not accept your apology.
She does, however, apparently accept Secret Service cock.
Ha, I was about to post that. I happy you have the shame and not me, lol.
/totally doesn’t know this by heart
What’s a Request Line without Pet Shop Boys? (I mean, besides more straight)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyeWRd7ZEBs
This is a badass song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1wj3tqRI6Y
Currently listening to Rocket Queen by Guns N’ Roses. Was gonna post a video, but I like this lithograph with the same title much better. Rocket Queens cost money, so…there’s the tenuous tie to the current theme.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fbaux8JOd4
In honor of Scrooge McDuck:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL8UQuLV6kY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb49U8Qamt4
No idea if this will be an unpopular opinion, but Steve Miller is overrated:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WCFUGCOLLU
This song always bugged me because THERE WAS NO INTERACTION BETWEEN THE CRIMINALS AND THE SHERIFF! Seems like it’s setting up a great story, then falls completely flat.
YES BUT HE RHYMES “TEXAS” WITH “FACTS IS”
Brother, I could not agree more with your sentiment.
I’d probably say more overplayed than overrated, but then Abracadabra is awful.
The man’s name is Cash and there’s a reference to gambling, so…count it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJlN9jdQFSc
But who’s buying?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GD6gKjtpkFM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiF6-0UTqtc
Every time we’d sit down to work on terms, Mark Davis would start pounding on the table with his fists and yelling “GIVE DEREK ALL THE MONEY”.
That’s pure gold.
It was really just a ploy to make Derek feel guilty about hoodwinking such a simple man. I am looking forward to having Mark Davis make another appearance.
“A MAN NEEDS TO GET PAID TO AFFORD A SWEET RIDE AND A REGULAR SEAT AT THE PF CHANGS!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DsNn1NzxJ8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdl658l5TTQ
ABBA? ABBA.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETxmCCsMoD0
Ha!! Nice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2kkVfFwE1c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7GroZ60UYc
I will take your on theme offering and fuck it in the ear:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMiRGCGIfCg
“Move-a-move-a-movie stars!”
CONFESSION: I fucking love UHF
RELATED CONFESSION: I have long wanted to eat a hot dog in a twinkie
No, the second confession was not a dinner invitation for Buddy Cole
As much as I hate Puffy, I still dig this song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYzrSGRzttk
That song is fine, but I’ll Be Missing You digs up the corpse of Biggie, reverse-ages it into a fetus, and aborts it.
Oh, no doubt. It’s basically the exact story of “Paint a Vulgar Picture”.
80s computer graphics are the best computer graphics. Also, mullets.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQgu0MpnKq8
Rihanna’s best jam
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_W_xLWtNa0
Lonely Island Double Shot!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3V35jvY0u7I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmyzFsYEdco
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpbbuaIA3Ds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjUIiXd_BcQ
So many to choose from…let’s go with an obvious one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mX7Y0h4wfc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBwAxmrE194