Request Line: GIVE DEREK ALL THE MONEY

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

A young man sits inside a recording booth, looking relaxed and happy.  The PRODUCER is outside the booth, punching buttons and counting off with his fingers.  For once, everything seems to be running quite smoothly.  

PRODUCER: Good afternoon, and welcome to Request Line!  We are beyond thrilled to welcome today’s guest to the studio, Raiders franchise quarterback Derek Carr.

DEREK: Thanks for having me, it’s a pleasure to be here.

PRODUCER: So when I said “franchise” I wasn’t kidding, just this week you inked a deal making you the highest paid player in the NFL and locking you in as a Raider for the next five years.

DEREK: That’s right.  I’m honored that the Raiders consider me to be such a valuable part of the team, and looking forward to training camp now that it’s all been resolved.

PRODUCER: I understand there was a bit of difficulty getting the deal done?

DEREK: Yeah, but not in the way that people think.

PRODUCER: Oh?

DEREK: Mainly it was just communication issues.  Every time we’d sit down to work on terms, Mark Davis would start pounding on the table with his fists and yelling “GIVE DEREK ALL THE MONEY”.  It was hard to get a word in edgewise.  But it worked out fine in the end.  I really wanted to make sure we could structure things to keep the core of the team together, and we’re on the right track as far as that’s concerned.  Gabe Jackson just got his deal done too, we should be in good position to lock Khalil Mack back up next year.

PRODUCER: How’s the leg feel?

DEREK: Great, great.  Or as Marcus Mariota would put it, quack, quack.

PRODUCER: It seems like you two are destined to build a nice rivalry, with the Titans franchise seeming to have turned a corner of their own.

DEREK: I’m hoping so.  They’re our first opponent this year, and I know Marcus is looking forward to the season as much as I am.

PRODUCER: So are you ready to play some music?

DEREK: I sure am.  I thought for a topic today we’d go with songs about “money”.  Give us a call, folks, and let us know what you want to hear, and for a price (ha ha ha) I’ll give it a spin.  I’ll get us started with one that I myself had never heard before being introduced to it here on Request Line.

As the song plays, the PRODUCER takes off his headphones and turns to CONNOR, THE INTERN.  

PRODUCER: You know, that’s probably the smoothest lead-in we’ve ever hard.

CONNOR: [shakes himself awake] Huh?

PRODUCER: Yeah…yeah.

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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SonOfSpam
Bloody Lethal

I always thought B was the best middle initial because you automatically have a dope rap name.

SonOfSpam

Middle name: Beauregard

Rap name: King Cotton Hill

http://www.dw.com/image/39243141_303.jpg

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Saw them play this live last weekend. Lost my damn mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3XEIOqWtnA

theeWeeBabySeamus
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook
theeWeeBabySeamus

Both are a bit of a stretch, but here’s an attempt at a double shot anyway….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W05cPXpUHGI

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

THIS GUY, tWBS, I CALL HIM CANADIAN SNIPER, BECAUSE HE ONLY LIKES SINGLE SHOTS.

theeWeeBabySeamus

They don’t call me Minute Man for nothing.
Single shot, then a nap.
(also I hadn’t refreshed so didn’t recognize yours for what it was until it was too late)

SonOfSpam

Hawt taek: These guys are good. Ok, not that hawt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GuUbziASwE

SonOfSpam
laserguru
laserguru

And a relatively new one at that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dZTkLNcZ2c

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I only know like eight songs from this decade.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This song always reminds me of Empire Records. I have issues.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-P2qL3qkzk

SonOfSpam

Bonus: Peter Garrett is a giant bald weird human rights guy.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
SonOfSpam

She does, however, apparently accept Secret Service cock.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ha, I was about to post that. I happy you have the shame and not me, lol.
/totally doesn’t know this by heart

SonOfSpam

What’s a Request Line without Pet Shop Boys? (I mean, besides more straight)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyeWRd7ZEBs

King Hippo

This is a badass song.

blackroseMD1

Currently listening to Rocket Queen by Guns N’ Roses. Was gonna post a video, but I like this lithograph with the same title much better. Rocket Queens cost money, so…there’s the tenuous tie to the current theme.

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

In honor of Scrooge McDuck:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL8UQuLV6kY

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No idea if this will be an unpopular opinion, but Steve Miller is overrated:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WCFUGCOLLU

SonOfSpam

YES BUT HE RHYMES “TEXAS” WITH “FACTS IS”

laserguru

Brother, I could not agree more with your sentiment.

SonOfSpam

I’d probably say more overplayed than overrated, but then Abracadabra is awful.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The man’s name is Cash and there’s a reference to gambling, so…count it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJlN9jdQFSc

laserguru
SonOfSpam

Every time we’d sit down to work on terms, Mark Davis would start pounding on the table with his fists and yelling “GIVE DEREK ALL THE MONEY”.

That’s pure gold.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“A MAN NEEDS TO GET PAID TO AFFORD A SWEET RIDE AND A REGULAR SEAT AT THE PF CHANGS!”

BrettFavresColonoscopy
theeWeeBabySeamus

Ha!! Nice.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I will take your on theme offering and fuck it in the ear:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMiRGCGIfCg

BrettFavresColonoscopy

CONFESSION: I fucking love UHF
RELATED CONFESSION: I have long wanted to eat a hot dog in a twinkie

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No, the second confession was not a dinner invitation for Buddy Cole

SonOfSpam

That song is fine, but I’ll Be Missing You digs up the corpse of Biggie, reverse-ages it into a fetus, and aborts it.

SonOfSpam

80s computer graphics are the best computer graphics. Also, mullets.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQgu0MpnKq8

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

Lonely Island Double Shot!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3V35jvY0u7I

SonOfSpam

So many to choose from…let’s go with an obvious one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mX7Y0h4wfc