I do hope we are all having a wonderful weekend.  Those of us in the States are, if we’re lucky, in the middle of the rare four-day weekend due to the Independence Day holiday falling on a Tuesday.  So without further adieu (and before that pain in my ass, ballsofsteelandfury shows up), let’s get to it shall we?

Balls:  Wait a second!

tWBS:  OH GODDAMMIT!!!!!

Balls:  Didn’t I say I was going to do the open thread today?

tWBS (sheepishly):  Huh….did you?

Balls:  Dude, you’re the one who wrote it on the calendar.  Do you think I’m stupid?

tWBS:  OK, first….that’s a different subject altogether.  And second….Yeah fine, I felt left out.  Everybody else got a night, but I got nothing.  Besides, your lazy ass wasn’t doing anything, so I figured I’d start.  So without further adieu….

Balls:  Well, hang on.  I do have SOMETHING to say.

tWBS:  This oughta be good.  (sigh) … Go on then.

Balls:  Hi everybody!

My office in particular will be like the Australian Outback tomorrow

dry, mostly empty, and you’ll probably do a double-take when you see some of the people there.

Anyhoo, we are in the midst of some dadgum ‘Merricun Sellabration here!!

There is nothing more American than buying a pickup truck to make up for your small penis.  Of course, I am referring to those that live in cities.  I’ve lived in rural areas and anyone that doesn’t have a pickup there is an idiot.

Anyhoo, I’m getting distracted and off-topic.  tWBS did a grand job with Sexy Friday this week.

tWBS:  Thank you.  Now can we….

Balls:  HOWEVAH!  I feel some of his choices were…lacking.  Therefore, I am adding some of my own selections.  I’ll let you, dear reader, make the decision as to who did it better.  Let’s begin, shall w…

tWBS:  WAIT A SECOND!!  Did I just hear you correctly?  Are you challenging me to a Sexy Photo-Off?

Balls:  Wow, is that the best title you could come up with?

tWBS:  What???  Gimme a break, it was spur of the moment…..

tWBS:  I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!   Take this!

Balls:  Oh yeah?  How about this?

tWBS:  Ohhhhhh, I see how it is.  Trynna get the crowd on your side early by playing the “Cleavage Card”, huh?  Well two can play that game.  BAM!

Balls:  GODDAMMIT! THAT WAS GOING TO BE MY NEXT PICK!  Ok, I see how it is.  That was good,  but not as good as this:

tWBS:  Holy shit.  I need a break now after her.  Errrrrrr…..I mean…..Don’t bring that weak shit around here, son!

Balls:  I’m not your son, pops!

tWBS:  I’m not your pops, pal!

Balls:  I’m not your pal, buddy!

tWBS:  I’m not your buddy, guy!

Balls:  Ok, ok.  Let’s just calm down.  We’re all friends here, right?  BAM!

tWBS:  Well, I thought we were.  I thought you were cool.  What you just did tho….that ain’t right.  But if you’re going to play dirty and start breaking out the asses, then here:

Balls:  That’s not fair!!  You know my weakness for blondes!  And Latinas!  And curves!  And green eyes! And asses!  And boobs! Ok, here goes:

tWBS (feeling like boxer at the end of the round, exhausted and trying to hang on):  Right back at ya:

Balls (out on his feet, desperately launching one last flurry): Purple Monkey Dishwasher!!

tWBS:  You.  Bastard.

tWBS (out of breath):  This… Is… Not… Ove……..

tWBS and Balls collapse and pass out.  And piss themselves.

***

Enjoy your Sunday!