I do hope we are all having a wonderful weekend. Those of us in the States are, if we’re lucky, in the middle of the rare four-day weekend due to the Independence Day holiday falling on a Tuesday. So without further adieu (and before that pain in my ass, ballsofsteelandfury shows up), let’s get to it shall we?
Balls: Wait a second!
tWBS: OH GODDAMMIT!!!!!
Balls: Didn’t I say I was going to do the open thread today?
tWBS (sheepishly): Huh….did you?
Balls: Dude, you’re the one who wrote it on the calendar. Do you think I’m stupid?
tWBS: OK, first….that’s a different subject altogether. And second….Yeah fine, I felt left out. Everybody else got a night, but I got nothing. Besides, your lazy ass wasn’t doing anything, so I figured I’d start. So without further adieu….
Balls: Well, hang on. I do have SOMETHING to say.
tWBS: This oughta be good. (sigh) … Go on then.
Balls: Hi everybody!
My office in particular will be like the Australian Outback tomorrow
dry, mostly empty, and you’ll probably do a double-take when you see some of the people there.
Anyhoo, we are in the midst of some dadgum ‘Merricun Sellabration here!!
There is nothing more American than buying a pickup truck to make up for your small penis. Of course, I am referring to those that live in cities. I’ve lived in rural areas and anyone that doesn’t have a pickup there is an idiot.
Anyhoo, I’m getting distracted and off-topic. tWBS did a grand job with Sexy Friday this week.
tWBS: Thank you. Now can we….
Balls: HOWEVAH! I feel some of his choices were…lacking. Therefore, I am adding some of my own selections. I’ll let you, dear reader, make the decision as to who did it better. Let’s begin, shall w…
tWBS: WAIT A SECOND!! Did I just hear you correctly? Are you challenging me to a Sexy Photo-Off?
Balls: Wow, is that the best title you could come up with?
tWBS: What??? Gimme a break, it was spur of the moment…..
tWBS: I WILL KICK YOUR ASS! Take this!
Balls: Oh yeah? How about this?
tWBS: Ohhhhhh, I see how it is. Trynna get the crowd on your side early by playing the “Cleavage Card”, huh? Well two can play that game. BAM!
Balls: GODDAMMIT! THAT WAS GOING TO BE MY NEXT PICK! Ok, I see how it is. That was good, but not as good as this:
tWBS: Holy shit. I need a break now after her. Errrrrrr…..I mean…..Don’t bring that weak shit around here, son!
Balls: I’m not your son, pops!
tWBS: I’m not your pops, pal!
Balls: I’m not your pal, buddy!
tWBS: I’m not your buddy, guy!
Balls: Ok, ok. Let’s just calm down. We’re all friends here, right? BAM!
tWBS: Well, I thought we were. I thought you were cool. What you just did tho….that ain’t right. But if you’re going to play dirty and start breaking out the asses, then here:
Balls: That’s not fair!! You know my weakness for blondes! And Latinas! And curves! And green eyes! And asses! And boobs! Ok, here goes:
tWBS (feeling like boxer at the end of the round, exhausted and trying to hang on): Right back at ya:
Balls (out on his feet, desperately launching one last flurry): Purple Monkey Dishwasher!!
tWBS: You. Bastard.
tWBS (out of breath): This… Is… Not… Ove……..
tWBS and Balls collapse and pass out. And piss themselves.
***
Enjoy your Sunday!
My current job prospects are creating something that requires no log in to upload files to a site on $100 million+ dollar projects to a site with no back end & with no security for my dad because he wants the site to look professional even though it has none of that. I told him this is the stupidest fucking idea ever and he should do it right, he told me I have to fake it by next week. I still can’t get him to answer any important questions and I am told my job if it goes through would be to fix all the problems of this terrible idea with a guy from another linked company because even though they are independent companies he is in charge. I still don’t even have his email or phone.
So I played Kingdom Hearts most of the day and then got drunk
Saul is looking kinda hot with that sweet hair.
I’ve said to much.
You already invited David Cross in there well before you excepted Bob in there. Quit denying it.
https://gfycat.com/TimelyUnacceptableBengaltiger
This is what happens when you Google image search “titty magic”…
God bless Google.
Yeah, where is makeitsnow?
“TEH fuuuuu”
-PM of Errtgjfgjh
Childish Gambino/Get Schwifty mix
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQNwVZEJO1A
I really need to move from a place that goes from 7 months of winter, with 2 weeks of spring and fall in between, to 4 month of just awful humidity that makes people laugh about complaining about how hot it is because the temp doesn’t tell the story to people who live in places with limited humidity and much worse temps
The answer, as it is for most people that live here, is to move to LA.
I did job training close to there Irvine for 2-4 weeks back in (whenever Devin Hester Fucked the Cardinals in the ass with Rex being terrible “THE BEARS ARE WHAT WE THOUGHT THEY WERE”), I had job offers there. I wish I had stayed.
Me too. Then I could crash on your couch and eat your food.
Dude, you should have! Irvine, while a bit away from LA, is nice. Maybe that’s why it’s nice…
Plus, OC girls. Dayum!!
I had a bunch of job offers and never paid for dinner because they were courting me because I was basically a second teacher, but I was there to be trained to help my moms company so I didn’t accept anything. The teacher even honestly offered me a job too with his training company.
I give wonder woman an “I enjoyed it but had some issues around morality in WWI; will let those slide because Gal Gadot gives me an erection”
I can’t imagine why.
She made Keeping Up With the Joneses at least an inch more up.
My response was “Holy shit this was the best DCEU movie ever!” Then lamenting the fact a decent/pretty good movie overwhelmingly made me think that.
I laughed. Didn’t want to, but I did.
I’m so ashamed of me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-LW6m0zX5A
Population: Me
Get off mah island, Pal.
Oh cool, BattleBots’ll be on the Science Channel, but you know what would be nice? SEASON 3.
Awkward boner.
Only some of it is fake.
Driving on the green is one way to take two strokes off your golf game, I guess.
Posts “Naked News” logo; says “Only some of it is fake”…
Fakenake news?
Sometimes, the only way to get any privacy from your significant other and offspring is to be in the shitter. Thankfully, it’s actually cool in here ( the rest of the apartment is the 5th layer of hell), so, it’s a win-win.
That was some top quality TGISS pics.
@Blax, West of the 110, you’re also going you be close to Koreatown. If you feel like Korean food, BCD Tofu House is legit and my Korean boss loves it. Surprisingly enough, you can also find good food at the Korean malls in the area.
That sounds excellent. I will make it happen in LA(tm)*.
(Neither the Chargers nor Rams can use that phrase now — not because of trademark law, because they’ll be unsuccessful in the NFL in Los Angeles.)
Hit me up anytime if you want more recs.
I will!
This lady needs to invest in a better sports bra.
Shut uuuuuppp
The lady and I are about to see a movie in theaters for the first time in at least a year. 10 minutes before showtime for Wonder Woman and there are only two other people in the whole damn theater.
You guys should bang.
hey, when Blax is right, he’s right
Judging by He that shant be named, Blax is VERY right.
So… handy?
Hey, I threw a punch in anger today.
I was at the movies and this kid (7-9) kept kicking the empty seat next to me. His grandma did nothing and I had already turned and asked him to quit it. Fucker kept at it. After a while, I just punched the seat, like a ping pong backhand. Hard, my glasses flew and hit the people in front of me. I apologized to those folks and asked them to please stop looking for my glasses. The brat stopped for good and nobody told me a damn thing. Still, “Baby Driver” is great, but seeing it again today was not necessary. Hey, I LOVE Edgar Wright, but the story is common and it sags some. It’s pretty great.
My glasses turned up OK, so no regrets.
Had you murdered the li’l fucker, you would be quasi-national hero by now
That would’ve made me miss the movie. My ticket still had about $3 to go.
It was close to the end and a mouthful, but I prefer Balls(ofsteelandfury).
You’re a bunch of LA-ers. Later this month we’re staying a couple nights in LA and I’d appreciate any feedback on great restaurants — especially like asian stuff — we should hit. We’re staying off 6th Street and the 110 (west of downtown, according to a map) and going to, I know for sure, Universal Studios.
So thoughts?
Are you staying at The standard?
I’ve got tons of recommendations for you…
Some airbnb, I don’t know the details. I know the ad says no smoking or filming inside.
Just make sure it is WEST of the 110. Too far east on 6th and you’re in Skid Row.
If you’re in one of the Italian apartment buildings, You’re golden.
If you DO gets too far east, bring back some black tar FOAR old Hippo.
I checked! It is west of the 110.
So where do I get some excellent ethnic grub!?
just find a brown person and ask “where do you people eat?”
I hear balls is into Asian stuff
That’s Yeah Right.
Close to you, I suggest Sugarfish for sushi and 3rd generation for ramen bowls. There is also Daikokuya and Orochon Ramen in Little Tokyo for noodles. Little Tokyo also has a Japanese curry place called Curry House.
RTD might be able to provide more recommendations. If you want AUTHENTIC Asian, you need to travel east to Monterey Park/Alhambra. TONS of places there depending on the country/ region you want to explore.
I’m honestly paralyzed at the fear of LA’s “big city traffic”. But I’ll go someplace that isn’t like a 50 minute drive each way.
Really, I don’t need the best shit in town — just don’t want to be like, “I went to LA and didn’t visit ONE place that didn’t make Diners, Drive-In’s & Dives.”
There is also Yang Chow and a bunch of spots in the Far East plaza in Chinatown.
“Technically, that’s flag desecration.”
/gets beaten up
I still want him to play Booster Gold
Flag Code, Chapter 1 Section 1 Paragraph 4: The flag should not be used as “wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery”…
Under penalty of torture (probably).
Uses flag to waterboard.
that leaves flag condoms kind of in the grey zone, eh?
Pink zone.
or stink zone ,, no ofence
Well, technically the walls of the ……
damn it…..
You are correct, sir!
They say Patrick Marleau is going to Toronto, see.
They say Toronto is the kind of town where they stab you in the back with a knife and then charge you with carrying a concealed weapon.
Women in Prison – The Lost Empire
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089503/
This has got to be good.
One Canadian
E-sports…. who gives a fuck?
Deadspin, apparently.
Oh God, do they still cross-post Kotaku and Jezebel like there’s any intersection between those audiences?
It’s about 1/3 e-sports, 1/3 baseball, 1/3 sports right now.
Plus HamNo shit even I can’t tolerate any longer.
How dare you Sully the glorious name of sprots., by even mentioning those pale, glasses wearing, punchable nerds in the same breath.
Even golfers have to stand up to do their thing.
/looks in mirror, breaths sigh of relief, remembers only women want to punch me.
/bangs on locker door to be let out.
I didn’t know there’s a uncircumcised zombie subgenre.
Oh, that explains the chainsaw.
Unrelated, any commentary from our Canuckian brethren on this?
https://www.wsj.com/articles/happy-150th-birthday-canada-whats-with-the-giant-inflatable-duck-1498833295?mod=e2tw
Was going to start posting northern hotness…… too lazy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Canadian_actors_and_actresses
Can’t read; Pay wall. But if it’s the rubber ducky i believe it is, he was here in gb last summer during an old-timey tallship festival on the river. Big flucking duck!
Yeah, the whole thing was “why a duck?”
I like this headline better: http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/30/giant-rubber-duck-toronto_n_16882646.html
Well, the drunk person who fucks that duck gets my vote.
The one is shopped to make her butt bigger….
Pedantic award number 32.
Why?
Damn good question.
I guess she normally has no ass like Hank Hill. ???
The caption does say Summer.
On that day the world fell silent in remembrance of two gladiators.
Neither won, nor did either lose,
Locked in eternal combat, their only weapons breasts and booze.
They fought mightly on Porn Mountain which the internet built
As they passed from this realm, they dreamed their swords were in to the hilt.
This is beautiful.
Sure, we believe that’s “piss”
-D.J. Trump