Request Line: Get Thee Behind Me

[8:41am, Interior Recording Studio, Miami]

The cleaning lady is puttering around, acting like she’s cleaning, as the producer thumbs thru his notes for the day’s schedule.

Producer:  Hey Consuela!!!  Remember a few months back when Richie Incognito showed up unexpectedly?  That was fun….right?

Consuela

Producer:  Right????  Well, I’m just glad nothing like that has happened again because….

[Door Flies Open]

Producer:  Oh Goddammit!!!!!

Ray Lewis:  Hey there, thanks for having me on the show today.

The Producer says nothing.

Ray Lewis:  Are you OK, Man?

The Producer says nothing.

Ray Lewis:  OK, I see that you’re a little taken aback.  My buddy Rich Incognito told me….

Producer:  Oh dear lord…

Ray Lewis:  Right?  So you know him?  Yeah, that white boy had some problems, huh?  Fortunately, I recently helped him put that stuff behind him and….

Producer:  Ray?  May I call you “Ray”?

Ray Lewis:  No.  You may not.

Producer:  Fine.  Mr. Lewis, then….   How did you get in here?  We had the locks changed and a new security system installed after Richie….errrrrr, I mean Mr. Incognito was here.

Ray Lewis reaches into his pocket and produces a multi-tool…

Ray Lewis:  Haha, security system.  Piece o’ cake.

Producer:  Does that have…knife blades on it?

Ray Lewis:  Yes.  Several.

Producer (suddenly more cooperative):  OK, so what can we do for you Mr. Lewis?

Ray Lewis:  I need to get the word out.  Richie said you could help me.

Producer:  What “word”?

Ray Lewis:  Well it’s like I told Richie….

Fifteen minutes later, Ray Lewis is mic’d up and speaking to Miami.

Ray Lewis:  What is up Miami????  This is Ray Lewis, Miami Hurricane Alum Extraordinaire here to bring you the good word.  Remember back when I was up on murder charges?  It would have been easy to get down on life then.  But you know what I did?  I rose above it.  And with the right jury and the right payoffs….

Producer:  Ummmm….Ray????

Ray Lewis:  Right, right.  Sorry.  Look folks….life is always going to throw you obstacles.  Maybe your kid failed second grade and now you feel like a failure as a parent.  Maybe you didn’t get that big promotion.  Maybe you stabbed some people a buncha times.  It doesn’t matter what the obstacle is.  You just have to have faith and carry on and believe that you can put it behind you and move on and be the better for it.  I mean look at me.  I moved on from my obstacles and ended up with 2 Super Bowl rings and a shitload of cash.  Plus now I work for ESPN.

Producer:  No you don’t.

Ray Lewis:  Oh that’s right.  FoxSportsOne now.  I don’t even get that channel.  Shit.

Producer:  So fine Ray.  So what’s our theme then?  How to stab people and get away with it?

Ray Lewis (menacingly):  Do you want that to be our theme?

Producer:  Ummmmm….no.

Ray Lewis:  Then shut up.  Our theme today is…  overcoming adversity and Putting It All Behind You.

Producer:  Oh that’s nice, actually.  I like th….

Ray Lewis:  Stop talking or else I’ll get Ed Reed out of my trunk and bring him up.

Producer:  *silence*

Ray Lewis:  That’s better.  I’ll get us started….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VPLOVJ0u94

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Technically I think this is about moving on from a dude, so DOUBLE SHOT:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR7-AUmiNcA

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Struggling to put it behind also counts, right? DOUBLE SHOT:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSnuQcFgvDo

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A post about putting it all behind you and not one joke about pegging? I don’t even know you people anymore.

SonOfSpam

Didn’t want to offend someone with Colonoscopy in his name.

King Hippo

cause life’s a piece of shit
when you stop to think of it

SonOfSpam

This is about going back to your hometown and realizing it sucks and you gotta move on, so I’m gonna say it kinda fits. Plus, it’s Wilco, and I try to get them in every Friday somehow.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9gMr-vPKL0

SonOfSpam
King Hippo

Dreams like this must die.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HffbME_B7JQ

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Was listening to this just the other day. Great song, but not to work out to.

SonOfSpam

Bonus: Chevy Chase pickup line!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKtsRIOQLRY

SonOfSpam

Careful, don’t listen to this if you’re recently divorced

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Er2RNls5lC0

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Let’s go with a Counting Crows DOUBLE SHOT.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CYfsQrNtFk

SonOfSpam

Wait, is THIS the Sexy Friday post?

SonOfSpam

Rikki may want to post nothing but Bieber for a while.

Game Time Decision

Mrs GTM likes this song
/ don’t shoot the messenger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqCqYP7hDWI

Game Time Decision

and wow, do most of her songs fit in this theme

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Hey man, maybe you could fix me up with a DOUBLE SHOT from the Angus soundtrack?”
– Jonathan Martin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A32oWdMU4uM

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, YOU’RE the one who has dust in their eye.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAa5jzS8nxE

SonOfSpam
King Hippo

wait, is Suzanna Hoffs possibly an Evertonian??

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

More like Ever-TONED-ian, amirite? Still fit at like 50.

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King Hippo

yowza

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You have to explain the lyrics of this one to me before you can claim it doesn’t fit the theme.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMMpM0cZh4E

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I know it goes on forever, but this is the version I prefer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSXQWj0HEBE

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I performed this at my high school talent show!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frBWvyE_N9I

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well this is interesting as hell: Pearl Jam and Buffalo Tom’s Bill Janovitz and THEO FUCKING EPSTEIN performing Buffalo Tom’s “Taillights Fade”:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeAZkdcVTVA

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And now I’ve learned that Theo Epstein’s charity is called “A Foundation to Be Named Later”. I love it.

SonOfSpam

A kiss-off from Mrs. McEnroe. Peak 80s fashion alert!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_50-gOeBilc

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man, just hearing the opening of this song makes me wish I was high. I guess because I probably was just about every time I heard it when I was first exposed to it.

SonOfSpam

There is a long list of things that make me wish I was high. On that list: weekdays, sunrises, minutes that pass…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Does this count as a double shot?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOibtqWo6z4

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And yeah, I like the Metallica cover better than the Seger original

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GONmFCkCGCc

Don T

How about… Behinds that make you wanna leave everything.
Julio Voltio feat. Calle 13 – Chulin Culin Chunfly (censored; stupid Latin squeamishness)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=AJrj_SHHeRg

Don T

Fun fact: Voltio is my avatar

Criminal Fact: He became a pastor (SMGDFH). What a waste of sharp wit, smooth flow, dirty mind, and thuggish voice.

Sobering Fact: After being shot (for the SECOND time).

SonOfSpam

Cincuenta Centavos?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Straight off the Tony Hawk soundtrack…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esc8ifuYkm4

SonOfSpam

These guys are drama queens, but this is a great song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8OipmKFDeM

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Love the music, hate the musicians

laserguru

Love songs.

Nothing but love songs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLSA-zI18eE

laserguru
SonOfSpam

Nice, didn’t know he covered this. Here’s another one, kinda wish it was just Mumford.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImV4Q3J8k6M

nomonkeyfun

Love the Ness version.
Here’s another cover to make it a triple.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUQPKdYyoxs

I think we should go for 18 straight in honor of the other Dylan.

SonOfSpam

Damn, that’s a terrific version.

nomonkeyfun
Don T

The Who – Going Mobile
Those drums!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ToxymSLzJeM

Don T

Queen – Leaving Home Ain’t Easy
https://youtube.com/watch?v=YQXrnayaiTQ

SonOfSpam

Great theme, and great work with Stabitha.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZTpLvsYYHw

Don T

Love, LOVE the theme!
The Hives – Patrolling Days
https://youtube.com/watch?v=JanefBLU5MM