Your “I Got To Get Myself Together” Sunday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

 

I enjoyed watching the end of the Tour De France today. The whole three weeks are a fun travelogue, but the combination of pomp & circumstance plus actual race reminds me that I should get back in the saddle before I bulk up too much & have to buy a stronger frame to hold me up. Also, thanks to recent medical issues, I have to wear ladies shorts to accommodate certain new realities of life. But it beats cancer.

A reminder that all teams should have their full training camps underway this coming week, and the Hall of Fame Game is just 11 days away, on Thursday, August 3rd. The only issue will be if they get the stadium finished on time, which is a prelude to the panic in advance of Atlanta’s home opener in Megatron’s butthole (™ Drew Magary).

Of course, the upcoming season means more of DFO’s A.Ward winning coverage of the NFL, starting with team previews. Look forward to my coverage of the Falcons, whom I compared to mayonnaise last year. WHAT CONDIMENT AWAITS 2017?!


Tonight’s sports:

  • Beisbol:
    • Cardinals at Cubs – 8:00 PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • Futbol:
    • MLS:
      • Vancouver at Portland – 6:30 PM | FS1 / TSN
    • CONCACAF Gold Cup Soccer 2017:
      • Semifinal #2: Mexico vs Jamaica – 9:00 PM | FS1 / UNI / TSN

I’m guessing the Gold Cup match will be most fun on Univision.

But you know the Trump government’s got a plan. ICE RAID ON VISITNG FANS!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Every 6 hours I run into 15 minutes of fighting to log in to the site. That seems like a lot of trying to log in but I have been hurt or sick for like a week and unless I get REALLY drunk I get at best 4 hours of sleep then I have to do something. Also I have a 102 fever and have been actively hallucinating most of the the night. This is unrelated but I had some fun ones and some that were awful.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Is it weird that I’m a dude and really like reading advice columns? Would I write an advice columnist about my predilection for advice columns?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Maybe you should write an advice column for the blog.

And yes, it’s weird that you’re a dude.

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Romonobyl
Member

So who else can’t wait to not see the emoji movie?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I can’t wait to not see the stupid fucking billboards for it anymore.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen
Member

Drunk.
Going to Emerald Isle, NC for a week tomorrow. Anyone have any wisdom there?
I hate to say this, but I agree with Jerrah (shudder). You ain’t got SHIT on Zeke. Let him eat.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Emerald Isle proper? South (west) end of island?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member
theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Great pizza place in same strip mall type thingy, along with other various restaurants and shops. Big grocery store too.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Half hour drive to other end of island (Morehead City) is a buttload of other stuff. Sanitary Fish Market is just across the bridge. And it’s better than it sounds.

Fronkenshteen
Member

Many thanks. I’ll stay in touch for real time suggestions. Me and the wife need some “time together”. How’s the drive?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Pretty easy, rarely much traffic. Especially on a Monday.
Used to have a place down there, pretty much lived there in the early 90s. Feel free to give a shout.

Romonobyl
Member

I regrettably have your back on this.
It’s amazing how if a star player on a team you hate has off-field issues, you say HANG HIM OUT TO DRY AND SET AN EXAMPLE FOR THE CHILDREN!!
But if it’s a star player on your team…
“Oh c’mon, let the guy play already!”

Fronkenshteen
Member

You think he gets 1, 2, or 3 games?

Romonobyl
Member

I feel three coming. Get it over with early.

Romonobyl
Member

By you, I don’t mean “you” of course.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl
Member

I wish they’d make up their minds:

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yeah right
Member

Holy shit. This is the hardest I’ve worked on a Sunday Evening since I had a girlfriend.

How the fuck you doing folks!

Romonobyl
Member

All good sir!
Loved your Sunday Gravy post. Carnitas are the shit, nothing like Mexican pulled pork.
I hate when people jack a post and say “here is how I do that”…but here’s how I do that:

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yeah right
Member

That’s some fine looking pig you’re cooking there!

You’re doing the Lord’s work!

Romonobyl
Member

Actually, I don’t use the grill for carnitas, I was just making those tonight and took a pic. The meat is actually boneless pork ribs. Not sure if that is widely available, but it’s all the shit for carnitas. It’s even already cut to the perfect size for your recipe.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl
Member

Damn Moose, did everybody bail on us already? I just got home!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

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Senor Weaselo
Member

How many times do we have to tell you to stop pumping your shotgun in public?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Nope, just dealing with some other stuff too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Later.

Romonobyl
Member

How dare you have a life beyond our boundaries!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Meh, figured I’d give it a try.
Don’t like it much.

Romonobyl
Member

Understood, it’s safer in here.

Romonobyl
Member

Just got back from seeing Dunkirk.
Wow, all previous reviews are on point to say the least. I’ll say this much, all other movies for 2017 may as well be silent, this film has the Oscar for sound effects and musical score all wrapped up.

yeah right
Member

That was some intense film work. Amazing stuff.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl
Member

He OG’d!!!!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Well, that would make you……

Romonobyl
Member

Coach of the Patriots?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Not so “super” when you’re try to keep your fish tank maintained, are Mr. Man?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Cadillac station wagon.

Romonobyl
Member

I want that to take me to my grave.
That might be an issue though, as I have no intention of ever dying.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Still, damn good girlfriend.

Brocky
Member

So this is how my day went:

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If you know what it means, then you know what I went through

Make your nerd jokes, make your 1st world problem jokes, make your bad luck brocky jokes

Lets just say I’m glad I wasn’t the one driving on the way home

Senor Weaselo
Member

Didn’t get an Articuno today, but I did get a Lugia so I’ll call it a wash.

Brocky
Member

I didn’t even see any lugia’s. fml right?

Senor Weaselo
Member

The advantage of where I am is the dearth of gyms. In my neck of the woods, say, a half-mile radius, there are about 6 gyms, plus then any number of gyms a short drive away.

Also the Lugia fight is hilarious because it’s even larger than the others, so everything looks insect-like to it. Which screws with you a little on the fight.

nomonkeyfun
Member

I’m sure Sessions is having a wet dream about sending the DEA to the Gold Cup match. Think of all the ganja smoking Jamaicans he can have arrested and all of the asset forfeiture possibilities.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky
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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Not yet drunk, but working on it.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

I’m doing just fine Brockster.

nomonkeyfun
Member

I first read that as “Fuck boys”. I was worried that Marc Tresman came.

King Hippo
Member

or was at least getting ready to come ,, amirite??

blackroseMD1
Member
blackroseMD1

Hey, I finally got my regular avatar to show up instead of my dumb actual face. Turns out it’s somewhat easier to figure out how to do it when you’re not nine sheets to the wind. Who knew?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

Yeah, but don’t you want something a little less… Spanoi?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

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blackroseMD1
Member
blackroseMD1

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Who wants a shot?
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Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Fire up that loud!

Senor Weaselo
Member

I do have that little bottle of rice wine, but that’s not for shots as much as it is for self-combustion.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

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Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

From Rex’s dark side collection?

litre_cola
Member

So many running backs to choose from the man at the bar says. I counter with Sam Bradford at qb. He says he is underated. I ask if if has ever seen RAM IT.
Then I showed him the video, he then bought me a beer.

King Hippo
Member

spreading the Gospel, my good man!

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Anyone got donuts to share?

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

I got apple fritters.

King Hippo
Member

double shit!

King Hippo
Member

no, but now I want some

King Hippo
Member

and I’m fat enough already CUB FAN ASSHOLE!! 😀

litre_cola
Member

Here in North Dak Dak Dakota they seem to think that the Purple Bjorns are going to win the division no question.

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

And how is that “state?”

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

How are they going to beat anyone after the switch at RB?

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Related picture on a completely unrelated wobpage
http://uproxx.com/ksk/kommentariat-komments-of-the-week-june-10th-june-16th/

King Hippo
Member

you wud think they’d convert to Dallas after the new QB ,, smh

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

It’s like the GoT writers had a competition to come up with the two worst characters to pair together in a relationship:
“How about the brainwashed eunuch slave with no personality and the interpreter who isn’t necessary anymore because her employer speaks most languages anyway.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo
Member

I’d let her shoot me. Wouldn’t you?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Only if she’d let me shoot her back.
Or on her back even.

Senor Weaselo
Member

“Obviously we can’t put Michael Phelps in one lane and a great white shark in the other.”

Well why the fuck do we care then?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

The Cubs are the only stupid team who can’t figure out how to put out barely-capable major leaguer Randal Grichuk.

King Hippo
Member

it is much appreciate

/of course our dumb fuck manager let Wacha throw 119 pitches last time out for no fucking reason (5-0 win) so it gets tied back up real quick-like

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

So I went and jumped through all the stupid hoops to fix my little picture and it doesn’t appear to be fixed.

Why does WordPress make this so fucking hard?

Edit: So I guess cussing at it fixed it.

FUCK FUCK FUCK YEAH

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl
Member

Please punch that twerps face off.
Thank you.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Ever since their competition geocities bit the dust WordPress is just resting on its laurels.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

And this “make all the avatars round” movement is dumb. I want my damned corners back.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

They must still be mad at the germans about something

WCS
Member

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

See my answer below

Romonobyl
Member

About to go see Dunkirk, I’ll report my opinion upon return. I believe I’ll find it to be a positive experience.
Oh, be forewarned. I sling out spoilers like a lawn sprinkler. Here’s an example:
Germany lost.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Modest proposal: I be able to drink blackout for the next ten years and then contribute again to society

Romonobyl
Member

So you’re assuming Trump will win a second term?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Nah, then I would have just started drinking knowing there won’t be anything to worry about in ten years.

King Hippo
Member

Looking forward to Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals ruining the last bit of el weekend.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

WHAT CONDIMENT AWAITS 2017?!

I’m already here jackass.
Also, where’s the instructions for updating avatars?

Romonobyl
Member

Gotta log in to wordpress.com and create an account. Once in, upload your gravatar and hopefully your soul will remain intact,

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Stupid wordpress

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

You must gravatar. Which is through WordPress, nawt DFO.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Step 1: Steal underpants

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

This makes more sense than creating a wp account.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

I like the Doobie Brothers.

Romonobyl
Member

Remember this?

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wpDiscuz