Your “How Many Starters Can You Name?” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Jay Cutler wasted no time putting his scent all over the Hard Rock Stadium litter box by purchasing the #6 from previous owner Brandon Doughty.
    • Terms weren’t disclosed, but amongst teammates I’m guessing Doughty won’t be paying for meal upgrades above the per diem on the road this season.
  • The NFL has hired 24 full-time game officials for the 2017 season. The chosen will be selected from the current crop of 124 total officials.
    • A theory comes in that because of the looming Vegas move and legalization of sports gaming means having full-time employees can offset the complaint that part-timers are affecting game (and thus betting) outcomes.
  • Roger Goodell has now officially put on record that he wants a shorter pre-season.
    • He accepts that changes would have to come through collective bargaining.
    • No doubt he’s observed the CFL’s 18-2 game season structure, and lusts to charge regular-season prices for otherwise garbage games.

Attention to all of you living in the western Canada Costco distribution area:


Game Preview: Texans vs. Panthers

  1. No Cam Newton. But yes to Christian McCaffrey.
  2. Probably no J.J. Watt. No word on delicate flower Jadeveon Clowney.
  3. The Texans’ depth chart at QB is
    1. Tom Savage
    2. Brandon Weeden
    3. DeShaun Watson

So, I wouldn’t expect to see Watson tonight, unless Weeden is a whole new form of horrible.

(Ron Howard voice: “Brandon Weeden discovered a whole new level of horrible”.)

They’ll start Savage & let him go for a quarter at least. Same for Carolina, with Derek Anderson starting and then both Joe Webb & Garrett Gilbert getting game time so Riverboat Ron can see who his #3 will be this season.

I wonder which Texan is going to see if McCaffrey runs routes with his head down?

It might be passably watchable for the first half, but by the 4th quarter you’ll be seeing guys who’ll be starting in Hamilton by October 1 out on the field. I expect energetic late-evening comments about quality of play.

Hat tips to the Battle Red Blog & Cat Scratch Reader for confirming what I already knew.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Football:
    • Texans at Panthers – 7:30PM | NFL Network
  • Beisbol:
    • MLB:
      • Red Sox at Rays – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
      • Yankees at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Little League Baseball:
      • Southwest Regional final – 7:00PM | ESPN2

Finally, a shout-out to commentist Joliet Jake Delhomme, whom I met at Nat Bailey last night. Delightful to meet him; hates Australians almost as much as me. He was confused by the “spilled” free beers he was receiving. To steal his line – WEIRDEST TINDER DATE EVAR!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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King Hippo
Member

Stick around for the 2nd half – PANTZ will be DOOPED.

King Hippo
Member

Watson’s footwork isn’t great.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

At least he managed to hold on to the fence. That’s “good hustle,” so they say.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Stanford Routt, everybody!

King Hippo
Member

Not some kind of me-first GLOREE BOY

King Hippo
Member

NFLN has LIVE! coverage of Donks/Bears tomorry. FEEL TEH EXCITE!!!

/any Chicago folk wanna gamble on it?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

$5 says we lose

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

Fuck tennis. That is all.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Fuck tennis.

Well, if I have to, I have to.

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scotchnaut
Member

[hums “The Way We Were”]

-Simona Halep

King Hippo
Member

there is just NO WAY she has an acceptable backhand ,, smh

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

That tennis is OK.

I’ll get Beerguyrob any kind of, and any amount of beverage he wants if he goes and kills the power at the tournament in Montreal right now.

Gratliff
Member

Heard this for the first time today. Apparently, it’s a year old. Would’ve expected it to get heavier play.

WCS
Member

Also, glad to see Drumpf hasn’t quite yet started World War III. Yet.

King Hippo
Member

Everybody in the chain of command just pretends he really isn’t POTUS. I will worry about the “civilian leadership” concerns at a later date, and thank the use of common sense for my current ability to type these sentences.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Probably wired the “hotline” to the major combatant commands to just loop back on a delay – he just talks and hears his own voice – it keeps him occupied for hours.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

He will probably be the first (and last) POTUS to order the missiles launched via twitter

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Pictured: Herr Charlemango’s Nuclear Football Console
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King Hippo
Member

he probably needs a special dialing wand, tho

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

My brother and I were just talking about how Donald Trump has made life even more painful and humiliating for fat people than it already was.

That fucking loser.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

This points to the larger issue: that we in effect don’t have a president and that people we didn’t elect are making military decisions on their own outside our view.

Then again, we’re in a perpetual state of not-really-war war regardless of who is president, so whatever I guess.

King Hippo
Member

It’s just given the alternatives, I am not willing to pick that scab until the electorate comes to its goddamned senses. Let’s hope it’s more “institutional safeguard” than anything more nefarious.

Really our only hope right now.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Neither Kelly nor Mattis are maniacs and Trump has a child-like adoration for military men, so if they aren’t interested in starting WWIII, it’s not happening.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I want to believe you.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

The day’s not over.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Yet.

WCS
Member

WYTS-Bills edition was utterly fascinating.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

That it was. Full of hate in the fan emails.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Hello imaginary idiots….errrrr online friends.
Hope you’re all well and thoroughly alright and decent fellows this evening.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

I am getting back into game bourble conditioning. Can’t rush it, but I need to get my reps in now.

King Hippo
Member

pre-season FOAR us all. Go see my neck guy tomorry for a trigger point injection and critical supply refills.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I’ll be over around 5pm.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Pace yourself.

Cuntler
Member

Random question. Why the fuck would the Bears give Sanchez second team reps in the preseason when they bet the farm on Trubisky? God, I hate this fucking team.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Good excuse to not play Trubisky until 2020?

King Hippo
Member

Dude, I told you he was shit.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello
Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

The Greater Good.

scotchnaut
Member

I’m a hetero but I’m in love with Cuntler’s hate boner.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

I knew the booth guys sounded familiar Mick Mixon. I actually believe Joe Buck is better than this idiot.

King Hippo
Member

There is a reason I never watch Panthers pre-season with the sound on.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

Nice catch by Benjamin.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

SHAN’KLOR HAS APPEARED!

ALL HAIL SHAN’KLOR!!!!!

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Preseason announcers are in fine form tonight. Or is there a CTE sufferer’s intern program at NFL Network?

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

Probably still better than the mouth breathers the local broadcast is using. They sound like the losers usually assigned to a Wake Forest game.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

That’s a step up from the ECU crew.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

That is true, but not much of one. Are you in NC as well?

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Work week near DC, weekends in OBX. At least until we sell the house. I’ll have a junior at ECU and a freshman at AppSt next week.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

Jealous about OBX. Looking to go mid Sep. I am in Raleigh.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Let me know, I can give you some restaurant and local breweries to sample.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

Wow. They actually put the game on a local channel. Unfortunately, I would prefer the NFL channel as they are using a local team in the booth, not sure who they are but they suck.

scotchnaut
Member

Local channel homer guys? That’s the best part of pre-season! You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a Pats broadcast sponsored by a regional mattress outlet company.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

Sounds like Hell on earth.

scotchnaut
Member

Way much better than Phil Simms’ commentary and Papa Johns ads.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Hi everyone

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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Are you still being serenaded by the siren song of construction?

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

Evening.

scotchnaut
Member

Not the evening. Not the evening. You’re the evening.

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