Your “I’ve Got Nothing Better To Do. You?” Sunday Afternoon/Evening Thread

[pulls pants up hastily] Hey, what’s going on guys/gals? Beardguyrob is otherwise engaged-don’t let the laundry get backed up, just throw a load in every morning, amirite?-so I thought I’d toss up a thread that addresses your most serious concerns. Yeah, that’s right I’m gonna say some crap about yesterday’s games and then preview the two on offer today. Here goes…

-Jaylon Smith (last year’s nerve-damaged second round pick for the Cowboys) finally made it back onto the field and tackled a guy or two.

-Derek Carr played for the first time since week 16 of last year and threw 2 TD’s on only nine passes. Raiders dreams of a deeper run in the playoffs begin anew.

-Marshawn lugged the ball twice after literally coming off the bench.

-Mitchell “Truth Biscuit” Trubinsky went a “fawking ahsome” 6-8 for 60 yards against 2nd, 3rd and 4th-team-ers. I don’t have to wander into the desperate mire of a Bears fan board to know that the call for him to be thrown into the fray now is jet engine-loud. It doesn’t help that the starting giraffeback is struggling.

-Paxton Lynch threw for an Alex Smith-like 3 yards per completion. Folks around the net have anointed Siemian the hands-down starter until 30 seconds after his next interception.

-Kirk Cousins turned 29 yesterday!

-Christian McCaffrey is one speedy little mother-lover.

-Another Christian, this one of the Hackenberg variety, commandeered the Jets new-look “Infinite Punts Offense”.

TO THE GAMES!

Chokers/Stillers: (4pm) Antonio Brown is nowhere to be found but Darrius Heyward-Bey is still in the league. We’ll get a look at T.J. “Two Sack” Watt who I have no doubt had the living shit kicked out of him on a daily basis by his older bro when he was growing up. Joshua “Route Tree” Dobbs hopes to start over again after last week’s struggles. Also making an appearance should be Hodgkins Lymphoma conquerer James Conner, son of Sarah and John. Skynet is giving 3-1 odds in this timeline that he wins the rb spot behind Bell. As for the Falcons, I like their backfield of Freeman, Coleman and Ward quite a bit.

Saints/Helmet Clippers: (8pm) Nassib, Grayson. Grayson, Nassib. Which pretend football slinger will have the job of patting Brees on the shoulder pads after the latter throws a TD? That’s like 35-40 times a year you’ll have to haul your carcass up from the bench. The things people have to do for a high six figure/low seven figure paycheck… Pour something out for the Saints third-dary that consists of the likes of Crawley, Bell, Banjo, Lattimore, Williams and Vaccarro. Injuries devastated them last year to the point where a street urchin was one of their starting cb’s. He was cut after requesting more gruel. Things aren’t much different this year what with top corner Breaux out for at least a third of the season. Hopefully we’ll get a quick peak at Chargers wr Allen who is returning after a knee ka-blooey. Their D gave up 4 rushing TD’s last week and faces AP, Ingram and rook Alvin Kamara. Best of luck fellas.

There you have it. Done. Now let’s get some drink in our bellies.

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the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

I’m goin to see tha eclipse tomorrow. Had a witty comment but am too tired

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Are you near the totality zone?

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

I’m watching The King of Comedy on Amazon. It’s Martin Scorcese’s second least popular film in box office and possibly his second or third greatest film. It is so awesomely dark. It’s Jerry Lewis’ second best work after The Nutty Professor.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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BrettFavresColonoscopy
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A) that was intended as a reply to the amoeba
B) I know they’re gonna be terrible
C) may be drunk

the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

I wish you luck in the wars to come, BFC

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

I’m no computer, I’m just a man sworn to the King in the (NFC) North: Aaron Rodgers.

the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

I’m really looking forward to another football season with you guys. Here’s some mood music to see you off to sleep.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I’m reading a comment thread about the saddest restaurants in Portland and I really need to find me a dive bar.

the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

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Unsurprised
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the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

Reading this thread made my night. Thank you so much!

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Are you in Portland?

Wakezilla
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/checks stats for Saints game

How about my boi Adam Bighill? Biggie got a pic tonight! He’s going to grit charm his way as the starter by midway through the season. . . if he makes it.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Find any good beers?

the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

I don’t dislike Rick and Morty, I just don’t watch it because I’m tired of series where the smart guy is irrevocably fucked up in the head. I’ve seen it so many times that it’s become as cliche as the Wilhelm Scream, but more personal.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I like watching shit get fucked up.

the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

I like watching some shit get fucked up, but not relatively decent people

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Rick & Jerry episode.

I definitely need booze.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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I have had a lot of whisky tonight and am still not drunk. Entertain me.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

You’re not my supervisor.

Maybe share some whisky, though, and we’ll talk.

the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Cleveland is lovely in the summer.

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla
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First real full day in Oregon. I always forget how nice Americans are whenever I visit. I’m always like Mac and Dennis from It’s Always Sunny when they move to the suburbs and their neighbor says hi the first few days. I usually have to fight back the feeling to tell those people talking to me to go fuck themselves/ready to fight.

I also have family visiting me, so this is more like a trip than vacation. Ypu know it’s going well when I have to explain nazis don’t get the right to free speech, among other things.

Oregonians, what’sa good beer from your region that I should check out?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Ninkasi is good. Uh, I feel like an idiot not being up on my local brews.

Ninkasi, Breakside, Deschutes, Boneyard, pFriem, 10 Barrels, and Widmer all make good beers.

Rogue is okay but a lot of people hate it.

https://www.beeradvocate.com/lists/state/or/

https://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2017/04/30-of-the-best-oregon-beers.html – This one is accurate about fresh Widmer Hefe. It’s funny how Full Sail and Widmer seem to be the default beer at every event I attend. Have I mentioned that I’ve been to events held at at least three different law firms with their own bars? God, we love to drink.

I love Lagunitas, which is Californian. North Coast, another CA has some great beers, my favorite being Pranqster.

You’re in Cannon Beach, right? http://oregoncraftbeer.org/breweries/oregoncoast/ (Warren House, Pelican, Public Coast, Bill’s)

McMenamin’s drafts are okay and their selection in general is decent. Their locations operate on that European model of very rarely coming by so don’t go if you plan to be there for a short time unless you hit the bar.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Here’s a resource to find out exactly what’s on tap in your area. http://www.taplister.com/bars

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

i really wish I had booze.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I have to give them credit for good fight choreography.

WCS
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Hello.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

No

Wakezilla
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What’s crack-a-lacking?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen
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Aw shit. Jerry Lewis died.

/lights bowl with 14 inch lighter flame

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

Is that background from starship troopers?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Yes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

they were lucky to get out alive.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Good eye.

blaxabbath
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You guys seen Veep? It’s on HBO. I just watched the pilot and it seems pretty good. I’ll let you all know if it turns out to be worth a watch.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I love it. It’s such a funny, excellent, disturbingly accurate series.

blackroseMD1
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blackroseMD1

Also very gif-able.

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Oh, indeed. I’ve made several myself.

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Gratliff
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You guys are missing some great athleticism on display

BUSY BRAUN’S BIG DAY! pic.twitter.com/GOb7Am6aVf— TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) August 21, 2017

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Shit! Just saw he died.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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Don’t tell the telethon beneficiaries

JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

Why is Amazon making yet another live action remake of “The Tick”?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Too much money to burn and nerds are easy marks.

King Hippo
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4th string Shitty Clippers get a defensive score. Something finally happen? Lookit ’em FIGHT FOAR LA!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

Another fucking destroyer has hit a civilian ship.

This is like the forth time this year.

Is the navy drunk?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Consider their CinC

JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

All kidding aside, this is a lot more common occurrence than people realize. Especially in tight shipping zones, its very difficult for ships not to hit each other occasionally. I swear though, it seems like a regular occurrence now with the navy.

King Hippo
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ah, that late Sunday evenin’ major depression wave is a-crestin’

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

It sucks that season 8 of GoT will probably not be until Spring 2019.

Gratliff
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Somebody’s optimistic tonight

yeah right
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In the books it was easier to tell the dragons apart. One was red, one green and Drogon was a black dragon.
If I was a betting person I’d say Vaserion. But that’s just conjecture.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Spoilers from leaked scripts say Viserion.

Romonobyl
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Just got back from an extended weekend of camping. Had a good time, but exacerbated (fuck me I spelled that right on the first try!) a troublesome knee. Either put me on IR of take me to that big, special farm where I can run and play all day.

King Hippo
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go get you some OPIATES! Tell ’em your friendly neighbourhood quack said it was ok, you can handle yer stuff.

Romonobyl
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Tempting, but years ago I was given liquid Lortab with codeine after throat surgery. Killed the pain, which was horrendous, but made my brain weirder than normal. That’s bad. Now I know why I could never do the drug thing.
Beer, OTOH…

King Hippo
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you just gots to embrace going to the deep, dark, twisted-as-fuck places, mah homie!

/realizes there is a reason no sane human would want to live as I do

//I was really always this fucked in the head, to be honest

Romonobyl
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The last thing my psyche needs is artificial enhancement. Every one who knows me will back me up on that 100%.

yeah right
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/ hears knee problem.

I can help!

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

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Wakezilla
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You hurt your knee drom exacertbation? Don’t do it preacher style!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

That is a damn fine ass.

Romonobyl
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It is rather fetching.

Romonobyl
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“Mom, I’d like you to meet…”

ballsofsteelandfury
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I love that girl.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Make that ass your new avatar.

ballsofsteelandfury
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I really should.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Yes, you really should.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

May as well watch Rick & Morty.

JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

I think about half of us here could make the practice squad for the Chargers as offensive linemen.

Redshirt
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I would prefer to be #3 Quarterback. Only have to do halfway decent for one month, then show up and get paid six figures to do nothing.

WCS
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Kind of like any Congressperson.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I’m the right size. I just don’t have any speed.

King Hippo
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Not quite that fat, but am totes working on it

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I wouldn’t if I could do it over.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Hey

JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!

Redshirt
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By your command…
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Redshirt
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King Hippo
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yeah, those friendship bracelets were really making me stop and have a think, what with us being in the middle of an incipient race war and all. What’s really important is a ballplayer hurt another grown man’s fee fees.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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