Your “Post-London, All-American Centric” Batch of Early Afternoon NFL Games Open Thread

That’s one game under our respective onion belts. Let’s have more of this shall we? TO THE GAMES!

DEN/BUF: If the Broncs can shut down the Zeke-ster they shouldn’t have a problem with the Real McCoy should they? Fans of Denver worry about this being a ‘trap game’ but I don’t see it. Sure it was ugly but the Bills held the Panthers to only 9 points last week. Look for the league’s 2nd leading tackler, lb Ramon Humber (who?) to stick his nose in C.J. Anderson’s face.

N.O./CAR: As our own King Hippo has pointed out, qb Cam’s shoulder is nowhere near healed and this week he’s listed as questionable. If he can throw it more than ten yards he should get the win because the Saints secondary has been hot garbage ever since that Super Bowl win oh so many years ago.

PIT/CHI: Forecast: A steady rain of “WE WANT TRUTH BISCUIT!” will fall from the stands as the Bears get slowly eviscerated by the Steelers.

ATL/DET: Here’s my pick for the highest-scoring game of the one o’clock spot. Lions qb Tubby McFatterson does just enough to lose (late 4th quater pick perhaps?) a close one at home is the prediction here.

CLE/IND: WARNING: Watching this tilt puts you at an elevated risk of contracting eye-AIDS. The loser of this game is relegated to the CFL.

TB/MIN: The Bucs are still waiting on Doug Martin to return but seem to be doing okay with the trio of Sims, Barber and Rodgers splitting the work. Vikes star cb Rhodes gets a healthy helping of the near unstoppable Mike Evans this week.

HOU/NE: How about another home loss for the Pats? A guy can dream, can’t he? Stupid New England will get the usual mismatches in the passing game that they always do and will keep the Texans D off-balance. Ho hum.

MIA/NYJ: The Jets latest “longest year ever” continues. All is not extraordinarily bleak however. Wr Kearse, the afterthought that was thrown into the ‘get rid of Richardson’ deal, has caught 11 of his 15 targets and has 2 TD’s so far. Along with next year’s high draft pick the Jetskis also have a ton of cap space with which to trick/lure free agents into coming on board.

NYG/PHI: Goddamn it, I wish the Giants had a qb along the lines of Carson Wentz! HC McAdoo will continue to call all the offensive plays that the dreadful O-line won’t be able to execute. The End.

Get at it, lovelies.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

I keep hearing “Carebear” whenever CBS talks about the Texans kicker. Imaginary character for an imaginary team. Seems fitting.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Antonio Brown is a beast

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gotta give it to them for having their eyes on the balls

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Go Dolphins!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Blizzard makes some good ass cutscenes/canvases for parody dongs

Brocky

I wouldn’t put it past clay matthews to kick a dog. just has that look about him

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

…..c’mon bears, get another take away

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

Jesse James is the white TE steelers fans have been waiting for

Unsurprised

“Tight”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

As if the employee has any bargaining power.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s nice when your friend’s mom makes you feel at home.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

You have Ballsys attention

Redshirt

Parking in the rear.

Unsurprised

One season pass, please.

Redshirt

LeGarrette Blunt? Unsportsmanlike? Why I never?!
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Romonobyl

This was the only way to get FOX news to cover sports.

Horatio Cornblower

Robert Kraft has changed into an identical rich-guy shirt w/o sweat stains.

Sharkbait

Dude looked like he was under investigation by the IRS

LemonJello

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Unsurprised

I hate every pretty person.

Brocky

….even me?

Unsurprised

Sure, why not?

Horatio Cornblower

Clowney also got a nice knee in to Brady’s head on that sack. Which I’m sure only Gisele will admit to.

Redshirt

Eagle ball is going to be placed on the 1 macrometer.

fleshwound_NPG

CLE/IND is now a game…?!?!

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Romonobyl

Have we gone Full-Eli yet? I’ve learned not to watch that spectacle with the naked eye.

Brocky

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some randy savage glasses will take care of that

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The guy next to me at the bar is nonsarcastically praising Glennon

Redshirt

O/U BAC: 0.08

Horatio Cornblower

Oh take the over.

Brocky

gannon didn’t look that bad in week 1 all things considered

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I would take current Rich Gannon over current Mike Glennon

Redshirt

Though to be honest, Ganon would be an slight improvement of Glennon.
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Brocky

I definately think the only way I could attack the towering glennon is a master sword strike to the nads

Romonobyl

Pretty early to be that wasted.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think he spiked his beer with Koolaid

LemonJello

Moar liek Krokodil…

...

lol

Spur

Clowney doing Clowney things

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Look at his shoes!!

LemonJello

Oh?
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Unsurprised

Murder-suicide.

...

Stare at Lake Superior?

LemonJello

Can you have a pallet of beer delivered to your room there?

Unsurprised

Maybe they shouldn’t be so goddamned closed so often, then.

Unsurprised

This wasn’t worth waking up for.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

Love this no pass offense for the Bears.

Brocky

Lexi Belle: Cool as hell:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

IS THAT COFFEE?!?!

Horatio Cornblower

Porn Stars! They’re just like us!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WAIT; I DON’T HAVE NAKED FRIENDS LIKE THAT HANGING OUT!

Romonobyl

Any chick that can defy gravity has to be pretty cool.

Unsurprised

She looks different.

fleshwound_NPG

clots did a thing…???

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WCS

Alright, I have to go pick up my offspring from the in-laws. I’ll be out of touch until later. Go Stillers. Get drunk for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6tUSo7BaDQ

litre_cola

Will do!

Redshirt

I’d be shocked if Big Ben isn’t at least tipsy right now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Deshaun Watson > Drew Brees

King Hippo

Lookit Black HODOR!!

Bortleback

Make Hodor great again?

LemonJello

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Brocky

“listen, we will be favoring the steelers as much as we can, but we can’t be obvious about it

...

My favorite Mike Tomlin thing is when he aggressively blinks in disbelief/anger.

King Hippo

he’s really good at that

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gentlemen and lady/ladies. Just settled in at a Bears bar in Colorado and am surprised by the numbers… especially the score.

Redshirt

Closest Referee: No flag.
Referee 50-yards away: Flag.
BLEERGH: Pleased.

Redshirt

BLEERGH just fainted.

Brocky

moar flags to help the steelers win

fleshwound_NPG
King Hippo

Moose – I cut McManus so his kicks would go back to “straight down the gooch”

YOU’RE WELCOME

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

wait, so now shanknor shows up? makes sense, steelers bias and such

Col. Duke LaCross

Fuck Conor Barth.

LemonJello

Our fickle goddess, SHAN’KHLOR, makes her appearance in Chicago.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
fleshwound_NPG

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Romonobyl

I remember hearing Grandpa yell that from his and Grandma’s bedroom late at night. I used to think it was nightmare from his war days, then I figured it out.

LemonJello

+1 Surigao Strait

...

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BARTH!

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The Steelers have only won one game in 12 tries against the Bears in Chicago.

/the more you know star shoots by

King Hippo

John Fox winks sexily

Brocky

I’m fully erect right now

WCS

Time for that patented road loss to a crap team that keeps the Stillers out of a first-round bye!

I heard a stat this week, that Tomlin is a whopping 6-10 in road games when favored by a touchdown or more. That’s not against the spread; that’s the actual win/loss.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Jenkins with a Dawkins-esque stop and celebration

fleshwound_NPG

stuck with cle/ind, so already hitting the booze…and now the babes

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LemonJello

If I could like this more, I wood.

Romonobyl

Yep, I’ll take curves over corners any day.

King Hippo

you missed our late night WASP discussion last night ,, smgdh