That’s one game under our respective onion belts. Let’s have more of this shall we? TO THE GAMES!
DEN/BUF: If the Broncs can shut down the Zeke-ster they shouldn’t have a problem with the Real McCoy should they? Fans of Denver worry about this being a ‘trap game’ but I don’t see it. Sure it was ugly but the Bills held the Panthers to only 9 points last week. Look for the league’s 2nd leading tackler, lb Ramon Humber (who?) to stick his nose in C.J. Anderson’s face.
N.O./CAR: As our own King Hippo has pointed out, qb Cam’s shoulder is nowhere near healed and this week he’s listed as questionable. If he can throw it more than ten yards he should get the win because the Saints secondary has been hot garbage ever since that Super Bowl win oh so many years ago.
PIT/CHI: Forecast: A steady rain of “WE WANT TRUTH BISCUIT!” will fall from the stands as the Bears get slowly eviscerated by the Steelers.
ATL/DET: Here’s my pick for the highest-scoring game of the one o’clock spot. Lions qb Tubby McFatterson does just enough to lose (late 4th quater pick perhaps?) a close one at home is the prediction here.
CLE/IND: WARNING: Watching this tilt puts you at an elevated risk of contracting eye-AIDS. The loser of this game is relegated to the CFL.
TB/MIN: The Bucs are still waiting on Doug Martin to return but seem to be doing okay with the trio of Sims, Barber and Rodgers splitting the work. Vikes star cb Rhodes gets a healthy helping of the near unstoppable Mike Evans this week.
HOU/NE: How about another home loss for the Pats? A guy can dream, can’t he? Stupid New England will get the usual mismatches in the passing game that they always do and will keep the Texans D off-balance. Ho hum.
MIA/NYJ: The Jets latest “longest year ever” continues. All is not extraordinarily bleak however. Wr Kearse, the afterthought that was thrown into the ‘get rid of Richardson’ deal, has caught 11 of his 15 targets and has 2 TD’s so far. Along with next year’s high draft pick the Jetskis also have a ton of cap space with which to trick/lure free agents into coming on board.
NYG/PHI: Goddamn it, I wish the Giants had a qb along the lines of Carson Wentz! HC McAdoo will continue to call all the offensive plays that the dreadful O-line won’t be able to execute. The End.
Get at it, lovelies.
Get that man a clipboard
Oh, Trevor. [shakes head]
Jordan Howard keeps getting banged up. Bears: LET’S RUN HIM INTO THE GROUND
[John Fox cums]
He’s given me enough points today, i would very much like for them to stop trying to get him killed.
Ayyy, i just have to wonder how the Giants lose this one. Last second field goal, or just suck shit for the last ten minutes losing 35-14
A POX ON YOUR FINGERS, HEATHEN!
You know all too well like i do. It’s going to happen.
I do. But I don’t.
Gods willing
Hallelujah, JC!!! We are saaaayuved!!!!
Hmmm, it appears my strategy of yelling kill every time the rapist drops back finally paid off for once.
Call me the Cuyahoga cuz I am on fire!
John Fox winks again, even MOAR suggestively this time
Nice catch Odell…
NOW SIT THE FUCK DOWN!!!!!
adam vinateri boots one in
Ah, Eagles-Giants can’t go a game without becoming fucking crazy
goddamned Donks OPI
Farmer in the O’dell!!!
Holy fuckballs that catch
Darkwa Duck!!
Darkwa? Darkwa.
DARKWA!
This game has more turnovers than a Midwestern bakery.
After that wonderful Thursday nighter, I am back to being as useless in fantasy as I am in real life.
I also make terrible fantasy decisions!
Likewise. Gurley men, unite.
Landon Collins is a beast-dog!!!
Eric Ebron catches as well as he reads. USELESS MOTHERFUCKER.
Thank fuck for that Donks D. Herculean the last few drives.
Steve Hauschka is a KICKING GOD, even in Buffalo. Where he play FOOTBAW??
One place I know Hauschka definitely didn’t play was the Scott Norwood Twinkle Toes Academy.
Was that held at Ray Finkle Hall?
Don’t you mean Einhorn Hall?
Isn’t that the gymnasium at the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksman Academy?
Read that as tinkle toes.
“You have my interest, now.”
-DJT, NYC and DC
“Mine too.” – Rex Ryan
Is OBJ hacking replay footage between plays? I swear that looked nothing like the realtime play
He is a Sombra main.
Did OBJ just pretend to be a dog and pee?
Pretty sure he was doing Spiderman.
/he’s a stupid fuckwit in any circumstance though
Italian Spiderman??
So THAT’S what a Giants TD looks like in 2017.
3rd and 31, how the fuck did that happen?
Waiting for the Annual Other Brandon derp play
Brandon Marshall’s alive!!!
But maybe not throw the ball to him three times in a row, Eli.
When was the last time Elisha had his color vision tested?
Like Cutler being red/green colourblind?
ruh roh fake punt sad trombone
Holy shit, what a breakup by Claiborne.
For once Kevin Hart wasn’t involved.
Jordan Howard went down?……..FUCK
And like the aforementioned Lexi Belle he came back up for more
Damn right he/she did!
He’s back in.
Been too busy trying to get over this weird dizzy spell and also trying to mark math tests to have had the TV on. I see I’ve missed quite a bit, and yet, nothing, at the same time. Schrödinger would approve of this afternoon of football, I think.
Did you get into Hippo’s “Aspirin” bottle by accident?
interestingly enough, I have also had unexplained dizzy spells my docs were like “fuck if we know”
This is why they make ALL TEH DOLLARZ, of course.
Why would mother label baby aspirin as oxy?!
Just… don’t watch any bears highlights…
“I’m thinking of re-naming it The Ben McAdoo Principle.”
-Laurence J. Peter
Well Bears Reddit will get what they want re: more carries for Tarik Cohen
Jordan Howard slow to get up.
/Bears fans reach for the cyanide
Did a Kid get injured during a flag football scrimmage?
The Bears injury curse knows no bounds
NY/PHI thus far:
Unlike me, your image isn’t loaded.
Like your drink, refresh it.
Really isn’t worth the effort though.
Still can’t see it on my Commodore 64.
Man, the Giants really love to make it hard to root for them. Firing McAdoo out of a cannon would be a great though,
I still think Ben McAdoo is more of a name for a 1930’s vaudeville radio show host.
She’s not a very good businesswoman, I mean in that attire, and how she’s wearing it, no productivity can be achieved.
Oh I can produce something, just give me a minute.
A minute? OOOHHHH Lookit the marathon man over here!
Braggart.
I don’t need much foreplay, but I do have to make my own sandwich when I’m finished.
Remember to wash your hands first.
Good call, lord knows where these hands have been.
“What’s big guy Joe staley doing?”
Proving that offensive lineman shouldn’t be in commercials
Maybe the Giants D will score some points for them.
Goodnight, Gints
Alright, a Bell TD, does no good, but it doesn’t do any harm for me either.
Siemian goes all Ook! on the field.
Bluffalo is giving the Broncs all they can handle.
Sorry Hippo (I took the Donks)
This result makes sense to me
Can Bears haz goal line stand?
NOAP
They’re going to get, like, seven tries at it though.
Come on Antonio Brown TD
I just checked the NFL scoreboard and I think maybe one of those scores makes sense.
The suicide pool is going to need more arsenic
Yeah. My pick is currently has the cyanide pill in their hand, but the Texans are doing their damndest to keep it from its mouth.
“It’s the Giants game, right?”
-Self hating Giants fan
Actually yes.
SHUT. UP.
HOU has 27 points, FIVE targets for DeAndre Hopkins. FUCK EVERYTHING
that is a lot of leather in this pic…something the Browns cannot catch or possess for long