That’s one game under our respective onion belts. Let’s have more of this shall we? TO THE GAMES!
DEN/BUF: If the Broncs can shut down the Zeke-ster they shouldn’t have a problem with the Real McCoy should they? Fans of Denver worry about this being a ‘trap game’ but I don’t see it. Sure it was ugly but the Bills held the Panthers to only 9 points last week. Look for the league’s 2nd leading tackler, lb Ramon Humber (who?) to stick his nose in C.J. Anderson’s face.
N.O./CAR: As our own King Hippo has pointed out, qb Cam’s shoulder is nowhere near healed and this week he’s listed as questionable. If he can throw it more than ten yards he should get the win because the Saints secondary has been hot garbage ever since that Super Bowl win oh so many years ago.
PIT/CHI: Forecast: A steady rain of “WE WANT TRUTH BISCUIT!” will fall from the stands as the Bears get slowly eviscerated by the Steelers.
ATL/DET: Here’s my pick for the highest-scoring game of the one o’clock spot. Lions qb Tubby McFatterson does just enough to lose (late 4th quater pick perhaps?) a close one at home is the prediction here.
CLE/IND: WARNING: Watching this tilt puts you at an elevated risk of contracting eye-AIDS. The loser of this game is relegated to the CFL.
TB/MIN: The Bucs are still waiting on Doug Martin to return but seem to be doing okay with the trio of Sims, Barber and Rodgers splitting the work. Vikes star cb Rhodes gets a healthy helping of the near unstoppable Mike Evans this week.
HOU/NE: How about another home loss for the Pats? A guy can dream, can’t he? Stupid New England will get the usual mismatches in the passing game that they always do and will keep the Texans D off-balance. Ho hum.
MIA/NYJ: The Jets latest “longest year ever” continues. All is not extraordinarily bleak however. Wr Kearse, the afterthought that was thrown into the ‘get rid of Richardson’ deal, has caught 11 of his 15 targets and has 2 TD’s so far. Along with next year’s high draft pick the Jetskis also have a ton of cap space with which to trick/lure free agents into coming on board.
NYG/PHI: Goddamn it, I wish the Giants had a qb along the lines of Carson Wentz! HC McAdoo will continue to call all the offensive plays that the dreadful O-line won’t be able to execute. The End.
Get at it, lovelies.
really cocked that one up, G-men
Wow!
DO IT IGGLES
Is that seriously a rule or are they making it up as they go along?
HOLY SHIT, DETROIT GOT FUCKING ROBBED
THE MICHIGAN SCREWJOB
he didn’t even control the ball until he crossed the goal line!
58. 58 god damn points sitting on my bench.
Golly, I sure hope NY/PHI overtime is a repeat of the 1st quarter!
Wooooooooow, Lions. Wow wow wow. That’s some serious bullshit.
They also have to sing the I’m Very Sorry Song.
JO MUTHAFUCKIN HOWARD
Holy shit, Detroit
Can Shank’lor be praised for a punt?
Right at the contractually obligated wire!
Surely one must let The Giraffe air it out
Watson has a monster arm
A Howard Game winning TD would just be beautiful.
ask and…
1st and Howard
Gumble has been mentally affected by this game
lol Jesus
The Giants 2 minute drill is a travesty of a joke.
Big fan
Patton?
The Bears do not deserve to win but that was a TD.
No, Deep Voice! Don’t go to Cincinnati-Green Bay game! Fuck NFL Contractual Obligations!
Watson channeling his inner Andy Reid.
hey, he finally threw it to goddamned Hopkins!
He’s using the buffet tray instead of a plate?
Does Hue Jackson get fired if he loses all 16 games by a field goal?
Even I say he’s in.
Goddamn, what a step right before the line
Oh for fuck’s sake.
Yep. But it’s the Bears, so BOHICA (Bend Over, Here It Comes Again)
I see grass between the shoe and the sideline
Cue sad trombone for Chicago. Not a TD. Yet. Should be reviewed.
he looks in to me
He didn’t step out.
THERE WILL BE NO JOY FOR US BEARS FANS
fuck me sideways
Eric Ebron is the worst footballist in the world.
That’ll do, Bears. That’ll…oh, fuck you BLEERGH!
oh thank god
The Giants didn’t flarck that bick.
Make the NFL Great Again
Goddammit Redshirt, why did you say something?
Because I picked the Pats in the Suicide Pool.
Same here
As did I. Still rooted for HOU
NEVER. COUNT. OUT. TOUCHDOWN. TOM!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOO!
I’ll give the cocksucker credit this time, no bailouts. That was just amazeballs quartered backing.
Nice penalty Alshon
Coulda gone for it, Buttchinski. ONE YARD.
Let this PIT/CHI game be the first OT game where the first team runs a 10 minute drive and doesn’t attempt a score.
you tried, cleveland
COOKSDOWN!
The Bears will lose by three.
The Bears will lose by three.
The Bears will lose by three.
Remember, no need for ot if Cooper doesn’t Lett it happen
Which is why they will lose by a margin that that TD would have been prevented.
Come on Bears/Steelers. OT for the OT gods
I threw some cold water on my face. That should help the Giants D, right?
I hope so.
Cold water is not known to be beneficial to the D.
No. You take that back scotchy
run, fat boy, run!
WTF, Patriots? You’re going to lose twice in September?!
Shhhh, don’t say anything.
I do not approve of this.
NEITHER DO I
Kizer is on a roll.
I’m not as good at these as you guys are