Your AFC West Showdown on Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Here we are, as usual, sitting on the cusp of the next week(end) of glorious football. How’ve you been? Good? Good. I’m glad we got those inane pleasantries out the way quickly. Are you in the mood to briefly scan some silly tidbits that may/may not be relevant to the tilt that is about to fill your eyebulbs? Wonderful! Why don’t we head… TO THE GAME!

KANSAS CITY/OAKLAND: We here at Door Flies Open will never stop making light jabs at His Heavy-ness, the only man that includes an entire chocolate waterfall in his daily diet, the coach that time forgot (sorry, forgets the time), the eater of all the ribs, wings and other things on the Family Feast Plate, the one, the only Andy Reid. Say what you will about the guy but man, does he ever take care of business in the regular season. The Chiefs have a lovely little 12 game winning-streak going against all comers in the AFC West, including 5 frickin’ straight vs. the Raiders. Sure they’re coming off a loss to the Steelers but Oakland went down to the Lawnclippers last week. Sheesh! Many folks (including yours truly) thought that the Raiders would be in the thick of things this year playoff-wise but that doesn’t seem to be the case and the recent Carr crash didn’t help things at all. Statistics say that Derek would be wise to air it out to Amari because the Chiefs have given up the most number of ‘long’ plays (defined as runs of 11+ yards and passing plays of 15+) in the NFL. I wouldn’t sleep on wr Crabtree though-he’s grabbed 5 TD’s on only 25 receptions. Te Kelce has had some ringing in his ears recently (concussion) but the decibels have dropped to an acceptable level so he should bounce back from last week’s lousy game. Biggest surprise I had while prepping for this post was discovering that the Niners’ Navarro Bowman will be starting for the Raiders. Is there a student-exchange kind of thingy going on in the league now?

You know what to do.

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
388 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
JustStopDude

Saya perlu berlatih minggu depan di Malaysia. Saya tidak bercakap dengan Malyasian. Ia memerlukan keseronokan.

Penyelia saya idiot.

WCS

I guess JSD benched Cooper, too.

Game Time Decision

Me too. In 2 leagues. Grrrrr

Spur

I HATE fantasy football

King Hippo

As a starter of Tyreek Hill and the Chefs D in money league…right there with ya.

hippofant

So, it’s a shootout, eh?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

First I was going to make a joke about how it’s in tribute to the imminent move to Vegas.

Then I was like, no, too soon, that’s tasteless.

Then I was like, shit, it’s not like treating it with the solemn respect it deserves is going to make the slightest fucking difference when it comes to preventing the next one, so I might as well make jokes.

Romonobyl

Well, they knew what they signed up for.

herodotus450

If you don’t make the joke soon, another shooting will happen and then your chance is gone forever.

deviantBastard

Naw, it’s just more ammo for the next one.

herodotus450

It’s like Bath School Columbine Aurora Sandy Hook Orlando Las Vegas all over again!

Gratliff

Lol Cooper

Col. Duke LaCross

Wow. There’s soft zones and then there’s that.

Spur

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Obviously, you chose poorly.

deviantBastard

Man, you called it. Think I could get the PowerBall numbers for the next drawing? Thanks.

...

Yup. It’s ending tonight.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I AWLMOST GAWT SCAMMED AT THE PACKY TOO. BY A DIRTY RAGHEAD” – Tawmmy

Gratliff

How is that not insta-fired at this point?

King Hippo

oh yeah, we gets bonus #ThePauls coverage next Sunday morning!!

WCS

What did we do to deserve that?

deviantBastard

“We” allowed Cleveland to have a 2nd team.

King Hippo

Against Case Keenum too! Doesn’t get any more #Mandatory than that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Reminds self: it’s just a game.

Unsurprised

Attitudes like this are what’s killing viewership

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That and heart disease in the Wisconsin market.

Shogun Marcus

Hey my numbers are right on target!
Now if you’ll excuse me I have a cheese curd and bacon pizza to eat.
/you wish I was joking
//donut for dessert, washed down with a monster rehab. Calories you know.

ballsofsteelandfury

Monster Rehab is the best!

WCS

that an those disresspectful thugs who NEEL during the Anthem #MAGA

King Hippo

that’s quite the nimble KHunt!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. I need beer immediately.

King Hippo

how many Los Dodgeros got?

WCS

Who sat Amari Cooper?

King Hippo

Spur

Spur

me

Romonobyl

“At least their uniforms are white.”

/Riley Cooper

WCS

comment image

Spur

Eat a hairy pussy Aaron Rodgers!

Romonobyl

“Why is her penis so small?”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, good, another thing America needs: more deification of the military.

Unsurprised

Requisite “Fuck the Troops” comment

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Debbie Does Fort Sam Houston?

deviantBastard

I’d watch that for the “political commentary.”

Unsurprised

With a strap-on, I suppose.

Unsurprised

Banner caption:

A NOBEL PRIZE FOR THE INVENTOR OF INVISIBLE BABY BACK RIBS

Unsurprised

Alternative:

I COULD EAT THE ASS OUT OF AN ELEPHANT

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“It’s-a-me, Giorgio!”

King Hippo

Sound effects Romo. He’s TOTES a pillhead!!!

Romonobyl

THAT MAKES HIM A GRUDEN GRINDER!

Spur

I fucking knew it. Fuck you Cooper!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, wait, wait. THEY PICKED UP THE FLAG???

deviantBastard

Spoiler. Some of us watching on the interwebs is behind.

Spur

MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What does Mike Pence have to do with this?

...

Just going to drizzle a little baseball in your football: The Cubs are going to lose tonight and I’ve made peace with that.

Romonobyl

Now you can hope the Astros can win the next two and stay alive.

...

Nah, we’re headed for Yankees/Dodgers and I’ll just pretend no baseball is being played.

Romonobyl

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Unsurprised

Let’s hope the meteor hits Citi Field. My brother lives too close to Chavez Ravine.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BALLS THAT HIT THE POSTS SHOULD BE LIVE BALLS!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

LL Cool J more like LL Chew J amirite?

WCS

Homer At the Bat is on. Everything else is moot.

King Hippo

Dump off pass, 3 yards short. Only Alex Smith.

JustStopDude

comment image

Don’t get the Las Vegas Raiders fan…weird people…

Unsurprised

Mexicans, dude. Mexicans. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

JustStopDude

Closed a major project in Vietnam. Really crazy hours. I’ve been drinking since 3pm east coast time. I could blow fire with my breath and an open flame.

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SCREW UP RAIDERS UNIFORMS?!?!

I fucking HATE the raiders owners, the fan base, dear god a lot of their famous players, but their unis carry well. Black and grey.

TNF managed to fuck up Raiders unis!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Anyone who is surprised that Kareem Hunt is getting so much action obviously didn’t notice that he shares his name with a brand of barbecue sauce.

deviantBastard

KC Masterpiece?

Romonobyl

If that’s true, then there has to be a Sweet Baby Ray somewhere in the NBA.

herodotus450

There was, but then he got out of that elevator…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There was, but he died.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh wait I mean he went ring-chasing in Miami.

Spur

Khunt Grease

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I promised my dog I wouldn’t yell during this game. Let’s see how long that lasts.

King Hippo

fortunately, he’s surely forgotten by now

Romonobyl

Nope, bitches never forget.

Shogun Marcus

But they love leaves!

...

I wasn’t on Twitter for about three days in the meantime it appears to have descending at least two layers further into Hell during that time.

Hi, guys.

hippofant

Life pro-tip: just never be on Twitter. Forever.

Romonobyl

I have two simple words:

Fuck Twitter.

Romonobyl

I would love to buy Ving Rhames a few beers and hang out for awhile.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nah, you wouldn’t. I have a friend who interviews celebrities for a living and his conversation with Rhames was his all-time worst.

Romonobyl

That’s a shame, he seems really likeable.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Maybe order out some meat sandwiches from Arby’s. He probably gets a discount.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, this introduction about “embracing the hate” is just what America needs right now.

Romonobyl

Good call, they didn’t really think that through so well.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Probably thought that up during the owner’s meetings earlier this week…

Unsurprised

*ahem*
– Republican Party

King Hippo

“No embracing, that’s GAY!!”

– Tea Party

Unsurprised

/A pair of jumper cables flies out of Mike Pence‘s ass

Romonobyl

It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown is on, easily the ONLY true ‘murican Halloween TV special. It’s almost as old as I am, and just as much a classic. Trash my childhood pastimes and be prepared to pay dearly.
I can find you, I have that interwebs thing all the kids are crazy about.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I found out that The Great Pumpkin was a fictional character at the same time as I found out the same about Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy. Led to my lifelong atheism, using 8-year-old’s leap of logic.

Spur

His Bowman playing and if he his can he tea bag Klyce each quarter?

Sharkbait

The Ice Giants are making we want to turn this game off.

Spur

The Chiefs uniforms are exactly the same.

Unsurprised

Would you say they are … uniform?

Spur

comment image

King Hippo

Hippo needs many TyreekDOWNs and OAK turnovers.

Shogun Marcus

…and zero khunts.
/just hoping

King Hippo

Hee hee, forgot I have to DFO root, too!

nomonkeyfun

“I also want to avoid Dick Trickles, those can really cause trouble when you encounter one of them.”

-Rodgers
comment image

Shogun Marcus

One? I got four in one afternoon!
W Chamberlain

Spur

I put that bum Amari Cooper on the bench. He’ll end up with 3 TDs and 140 yards.

Spur

You guys know it’s Spur season?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxw2FZBd7aY

Viva La Tabula Raza

With you, amigo.

Croooow

Gregg Popovich for President.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’d be happy to have him as Dictator For Life.

Unsurprised

Philosopher-King

Spur

Folks.

Shogun Marcus

Look at the optimist over here!

Col. Duke LaCross

Months.

Spur

Can we get Artie some help?

Unsurprised

I think he’s given himself enough help. Short of cutting his hands and nose off and wiring his jaw, he’s doomed. And if you do all that, he’ll kill himself anyway and I wouldn’t blame him because that’s no way to live.

Shogun Marcus

Cutting his nose off would just allow easier access.

Unsurprised

Good point

Brick Meathook

comment image

deviantBastard

“Just like Dad,” eh? Does that mean the son can hit Mom too?

Unsurprised

Like Ray Rice or Ted Cruz?

WCS

Kris Letang could score 50 goals, finish with 110 points, play in all 82 games, block over 200 shots, and he still not get a Norris nomination.

herodotus450

Eh fuck the Norris and all those trophies, just a bunch of old-fart millenials circle jerking each other to memories of guys named Guy and wooden sticks.
/Totally not bitter about Lidstrom

herodotus450

Just what kinda chip are we talking about?

WCS

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

I can’t understand why the pregame and postgame shows continue to allow the crowd of idiots to holler in the background during the panel discussions so I can hardly make out what’s being said. They may as well hire the Air National Guard to do continuous F-16 flyovers during the shows. Of course, I may just be missing a bunch of shitty takes, so maybe no big deal.

WCS

I have no issue with some airstrikes on the sets of pre- and post-game shows.

herodotus450

Drowning out the “experst” on the panel so you can’t hear them? The crowd stays.

nomonkeyfun

In the America, the NFL doesn’t hire the National Guard, the National Guard hires the NFL. Get your priorities straight.

Unsurprised

What chips go best with Kool-Aid? BBQ flavored, I assume.

WCS

“Who said chips? And barbecue?”

— Andy Reid

1 2 3 4