Yesterday, I tried to combine two tortures into one, wanting the Open Thread to serve as a “Walking Dead” recap as well. However, like reading Uproxx whilst drinking a Bud Light, my day clearly fell apart and so I decided to keep the Thread pure and hold the recap over to today.

So, “The Walking Dead: Season 8 Premiere”

Here’s everything you need in two gifs:

Daryl’s still a bad-ass; and

is this a dream, a near-death experience or an 80’s porno starring him, Maggie & Michonne? Sadly, it’s a flash-forward, because they eventually have to expose their Macguffins.

Sunday’s “The Walking Dead” had the impossible task of giving us the “all out war” they’ve been building to, while at the same time trying to give compelling reasons to tune into the show weekly.

What they’ve chosen is (FUCKING AGAIN!) a multiple-timeline scenario, where we start out with the beginning of the war,

and the various communities are united against the Saviors.

They head on over to the main Saviors compound & Rick tries to talk the non-Negan inhabitants into surrendering. Negan counters by pulling out Gregory, who tries to turn Hilltop over to Negan via (empty) threat, but gets rejected by everyone and ultimately ‘cast out of heaven’ (in one of the show’s many overplayed biblical metaphors for its 100th episode). He manages to ensure every viewer wishes him a speedy, cruel death by abandoning Father Gabriel when he tried to help him.

So, the fighting has to start.

The Daryl explosion up top comes from Rick’s plan to herd walkers into the Saviors’ main compound

and all seems to be going according to plan. Which always works out on The Walking Dead.

Oh, and Carl may have made a new friend, which his father tried to kill. In a(nother) clear callback to Episode 1, Carl spotted a guy while looking under a car. Instead of being a little zombie girl, it was a vaguely Arabic-looking guy. Carl took pity & tried to leave him some food. How this plays out, we don’t know yet, but I’m sure that a whole episode will be devoted to explaining it, needlessly padding out the season’s quota of episodes & stretching the series out to a ninth year. Whether he’s able to talk Enid into a London Bridge remains to be seen.

We don’t get conclusions to anything, as the various timelines that will appear to play out in the first half of the season are:

How will the alliance hold up once the shooting starts?

Is there still love in the apocalypse?

Will Rick be a hero, or revert to the Ricktator?

Speaking of people reverting, what about Carol & Morgan?

Will Negan and/or Father Gabriel survive being trapped in the trailer?

Why is Daryl always so dirty?

What about these fucking guys?

And who the fuck did Carl spot / try to help?

Finally, the burning question raised by tWBS – in a cashless society, who has the commission on broken window repairs, and how are they paid?

All that and more, over 15 remaining episodes! Tune in, won’t you?