Your Sunday Night NFL Open Thread

Did you know that Jerome Bettis is still from Detroit and still played for the Steelers? He retired 12 years ago and somehow this always gets mentioned. It’s like he played basketball at Harvard for god’s sake. Now that’s something worth talking about! Let’s do a little rundown of a game between two teams that represent cities that the Manufacturing Sector Fairy (I call her ‘Stinkerbell’ because I’m mature like that) forgot about a long time ago. TO THE GAME!

Pit/Det: The Lions are coming off a bye but it’ll take a lot longer than two weeks to forget about the 52 points that the Saints hung on their sorry carcasses the last time they took the field. They started out 3-1 and the smell of burning tires had started to dissipate. And then, BANG! That sumbitch ‘History’ reared her goldarn head and just like that they’re sitting ugly at 3-3. Contrary to what you might think when you read these game intros, I try to do a wee bit of homework on each team. Who’da thunk that? Anyway, the stat that has floored me is that the Steelers haven’t allowed an opposing wide receiver more than 61 yards so far this season. That’s…impressive. The only wideout more upset with the Steelers and the way they play is their very own Martavis “The Cranky Bear” Bryant. This circumstance has resulted in the promotion of Justin “Time” Hunter. But we all know that Antonio “What Can” Brown “Do For You”* will once again be the feature of the passing game.

Get after it.

 

*The Berman is strong today

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King Hippo

each side has a set of apostles and we’uns goin’ extras!

Beerguyrob

Each city has plenty of guys named Jesus.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beerguyrob

END IT! (Says the guy who’s been elsewhere most of the day.)

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

No telling where this adventure is going . . ..

Unsurprised

Through the rear.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It will involve a tunnel.

King Hippo

alien plant head almost ends it

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

I worked up from the carrots, to the sausage, and now this is my new butt plug!

King Hippo

I bet Yinzer gal has even finished her XXL bowl of mashed taters by now

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beerguyrob

“Converted it into a Cleveland Steamer” most likely.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s what you get when you don’t doctor the ball….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FXVgHhHufE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Wait, what?”

– Nate Solder

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“GOOD OOOOOOONE!”

-Lance Armstrong

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

holy shit i had to get my computer back out

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

You can always spank it later. I know I am.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Guess I’d better get another drink.

Mr. Ayo

So both teams could beat the Bears?

King Hippo

let’s just say they could kiss every tittay in Soldier Field

theeWeeBabySeamus

I either love this game, or I hate this game.
I’ll let you know later.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

dang those are some quality masks

Col. Duke LaCross

Looking forward to being on vacation in LA this week for the inevitable riot whether they win or lose. Anyone need a new flatscreen?

WCS

I’ll take one, and as many boxes of “1” diapers you can find.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You sure the 1’s will fit you?

WCS

I’M IN-BETWEEN SIZES

Beerguyrob

Cubs fans bought them all.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

SEE PREVIOUS COMMENT

Beerguyrob

THIS JOE BUCK, I CALL HIM A U*NC GRAD BECAUSE HE SAYS THIS IS A GAME FOR THE AGES WHEN ANYONE WITH EYES CAN TELL YOU THERE HAS BEEN MULTIPLE VIOLATIONS.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beerguyrob

I’m out all day, and I come home & the game’s still on? YOU POOR BASTARDS!

Mr. Ayo

4.5 hours and counting. We do not make the best decisions around here.

Beerguyrob

You’re on DFO, so that’s at least one good decision.

Mr. Ayo

Sweet! I’m going to have (another) drink to celebrate!

WCS

WOWZERS

Senor Weaselo

You have got to be kidding me.

Mr. Ayo

Never ending

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

This series is definitely going seven games.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Maybe eight

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

6-4-3 to end it? I’m hoping.
Fuck off Puig.

Mr. Ayo

#PuigYourFriend

theeWeeBabySeamus

Orrrrrrr….not.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS WORLD SERIES I CALL IT MY FIRST TIME IN THE LOCKER ROOM BECAUSE I’M OVERWHELMED BY ALL THE DONGS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

So, Joe learned the word “palpitations” apparently.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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montythisseemsstrangetome

I will say that John Smoltz is not the worst.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

“anxiously await game 6 and/or game 7.” Does this mean that there could be a game 7 without there being a game 6?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Is that supposed to be a beaver?
(you know what I mean)

Unsurprised

Zombeavers.

Mr. Ayo

Yes and yes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Castor canadensis and a beaver.

King Hippo

fuck, not only is Monday coming, technically it’s already fucking here

/if not in EDT u don’t really count ,, smh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Checks out, although I usually brush my teeth as soon as I awaken.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

She gives good “fin”. Obvs.

Brick Meathook

Dang those are some pro-grade flippers

montythisseemsstrangetome

U no who else had teh trains running on tiem?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Neil Young?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

it appears maybe hurricane detritus-burg has this one in hand

WCS

DINGERS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I am in favor of this.
Strenuously.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

That’s what I kept forgetting to check.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Womp Womp

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Can’t believe they didn’t send the guy from third.

King Hippo

especially on the double, he coulda walked home

montythisseemsstrangetome

IT’S ALL PEDERSON’S FAULT FOR NOT RUNNING OUT OF THE BOX

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep, bad choice.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think they said it was because of crowd noise, the 3rd base coach was saying GO but the runner heard NO.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Since when does Josh Reddick not look like Jesus anymore?

Viva La Tabula Raza

The nail holes healed up?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Welp, I need 1.35 FF points from Kelce and/or the Denver D tomorrow night in order to get the least deserved win in EVAR.

Sorry IWDB, sincerely. We both kinda mucked it up this weekend, hon.

WCS

To be fair, you never deserve to win.

theeWeeBabySeamus

While you’re not wrong (and also not very nice tonight, lol) I deserve this win much much less than usual.

Senor Weaselo

Some people… staaaarted singing it not knowing what it was, and now they’ll keep on singing it forever just because…

montythisseemsstrangetome

Keep scolding him, Joe

theeWeeBabySeamus

We get it Joe, he should have run out of the box. You can shut the fuck up about it now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, great play by the LF. Not.

Mr. Ayo

Burn!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Luckily for him, batter fucked up too.

King Hippo

I think that wall must be covered with SPIDERS@

Senor Weaselo

Man, is it me or do all the umpires have ball/strike issues?

montythisseemsstrangetome

Must be you

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s not just you. But the little strike zone graphic technology doesn’t help considering it’s wrong just as often if not more.

Redshirt

Alright. I work tomorrow. I’ll catch this game in the 21st inning when I wake up in a few hours.

montythisseemsstrangetome

“WHY DIDNT YOU PUT IN CINGRANI IN THE FIRST PLACE?”
-every Dodgers call-in show

Brick Meathook

I guess the Dodgers are pulling that pitcher.

King Hippo

might have to put him down

montythisseemsstrangetome

That was an impressive routine fly to left field by Correa.

Senor Weaselo

“Wow, it’s short down the line there.” -Yankees fans

Mr. Ayo

This game has no end in sight

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Astros have currently scored more than 49ers, Bucs, and Dolphins. One more and they will catch the Bears.

King Hippo

John Fox is uncomfortable with all the throwing the Dirt Oilers do.

montythisseemsstrangetome

John Fox as baseball manager would sacrifice bunt with no one on base.

King Hippo

he’d always get that pitch count up, even if he didn’t score much…