Your “It Looks Good… A Little Too Good” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Word broke over the weekend that Jerry Jones is leading a group of 17 owners “reviewing” Roger Goodell’s possible contract extension.
    • Which, of course, has nothing to do whatsoever, no sir, not one bit, with the upcoming Ezekiel Elliott suspension appeal appeal.
  • JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST!
    • Zach Miller almost lost his leg as a result of his dislocated knee in the endzone, implying he tore or otherwise damaged the femoral artery during the injury.
      • They had to get a graft from his other leg to stabilize it.
    • To quote cbssports.com, “to make matters worse: Miller’s touchdown didn’t count. After an official review, the touchdown was overturned, which seems absurd considering there definitely didn’t appear to be irrefutable evidence.”
    • There is no goddamned way I am linking a gif or video of that here. It was gruesome.
  • The World Series outdrew Sunday Night Football in the TV ratings.
    • Well, duh – they had as much scoring, and more exciting plays.
      • Sunday Night Football had Al Michaels making Jerome Bettis references, and Cris Collinsworth shilling his interest in Pro Football Focus without admitting his connection on the broadcast.

Game Preview: Broncos at Chiefs

This game seems part of a plot by Andy Reid to ensure no one wins the AFC West. The quality of opponent the Chiefs have faced during their losing streak is an escalating pile of shit. The Steelers that beat the Chiefs two weeks ago are a much better team today, although only beating the Lions by 5 points could be a troubling sign. The Raiders appeared cromulent in beating the Chiefs during the two-hour final seconds last Thursday, but then turned in a turd against the Bills. Tonight’s opponent has had only two good quarterbacks in the last 10 years, Peyton Manning V.2 & Tim Tebow J.3:16. Future saviour Paxton Lynch is inactive tonight, in favour of Brock Osweiler. The Broncos only average 18 points per game, the 18th best scoring offence in the NFL.

By design, this game should be an easy walk for the Chiefs.

AND YET!

Tonight marks the return of Jamaal Charles to KC, albeit in a Broncos uniform, so his season-ending injury may not occur until after halftime. But before that happens, look for the Broncos to try & get him going and take advantage of his desire to exact some measure of revenge. Denver defence seems designed exactly to mess with Alex Smith’s mind, and Von Miller has sacked Smith 8 times since 2014.  So if the deep routes fail early look for him to revert to his previous title of the Checkdown King. Finally, Andy Reid is their head coach, so expect some quality timeout or time management fuckups issues at least once during the game.

It could either be a Chiefs 30-point blowout or a Broncos 2-point win. At least the NFL doesn’t have to worry about competing against baseball tonight.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NFL:
    • Denver Broncos at Kansas City Chiefs – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
      • en espanol en ESPN2
  • MLS: Playoffs
    • New York Red Bulls vs. Toronto FC (Leg 1) – 7:00PM | FS1 / TSN3
    • Houston Dynamo vs. Portland Timbers (Leg 1) – 9:30PM | FS1 / TSN3
  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Blue Jackets – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Spurs at Celtics – 7:30PM | Sportsnet1
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • Let’s see who’s returned from the mumps!

I don’t know who bought MLB’s soul, but the based ball people have managed to put together two consecutive seasons of quality World Series’, and five not-bad ones total since 2012. (The Giants thumping the Tigers in 2012 was just awful; Verlander hasn’t forgotten.) Tonight’s NFL contest may make you long for another Astros-Dodgers game. HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?!

 

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Charles Clay Matthews

G’ night

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck you, I wrote it down there!

But yeah, goodnight.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It was close, but mine was in first

theeWeeBabySeamus

😛

Brocky

Sorry , he came first

theeWeeBabySeamus

Woooooo!!!!!!!

No, wait…..

Brocky

……………………🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, look at the bright side…..

You’re the only one who solved his own puzzle tonight.

You da man.

Brocky

Not after this fucking column lol

Brocky

Night night.

I’m too scared to say anything else because it will sound like an innuendo

Brocky

_ h_ r_ _ s | _ _ _ _ | m _ _ _ h_ _ s

BrettFavresColonoscopy

C and L

theeWeeBabySeamus

YOU CAN’T PICK TWO!!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Didn’t you go to sleep? And also clearly picked L below so suck it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No. And yes. So suck it.

Brocky

I’m not…..

😪😪😪😪😪😪

Asleep!

Brocky

I agree. Pick only 1 bret

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Give me a good C, Bront

Brocky

And I just now Saw you picked l, so, adding c…

C h_ rl_ s | C l _ _ | m _ _ _ h_ _ s

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Charles Clay Matthews

BrettFavresColonoscopy

R?

Brocky

1 r

_ _ _ r_ _ s | _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ s

theeWeeBabySeamus

H

Brocky

2 h’s

_ h_ r_ _ s | _ _ _ _ | m _ _ _ h_ _ s

theeWeeBabySeamus

L

BrettFavresColonoscopy

M

Brocky

1 m ( see below)

theeWeeBabySeamus

This was fun.
But we do need to re-explore poker eventually.

Night gents.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Yes we do. Night.

Brocky

C’mon, give me a whirl here

Brocky

I mean, wait, shit..

BrettFavresColonoscopy

TWSS?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Now you sound like Low Commander

Brocky

Okay, I got one, and I won’t accidently post the answer this time

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

S

Brocky

2 s’s

_ _ _ _ _ _ s | _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ s

BrettFavresColonoscopy

N

Brocky

No n’s

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

E

theeWeeBabySeamus

Alright, enough dicking around
Tom Lnadry Jones

theeWeeBabySeamus

DAMMIT BROCKY!!!!!!!

Brocky

I do what I can

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sharky is onto something

T O M | L _ _ _ _ _ | _ O _ _ S

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Good Lord. E??

BrettFavresColonoscopy

T O M | L _ _ _ _ _ | _ O _ E S

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tom Loves Gotes

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is not nearly as funny as my giggling implies

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

B

Brocky

Tom Landry jones

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fucker

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Winrar

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I mean, the intent was for it to be easy

T O M | _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ O _ _ _

Senor Weaselo

S?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

T O M | _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ O _ _ S

theeWeeBabySeamus

ONLY ONE GODDAMN S???????

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

L

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tom Florres blows.

It’s wrong, but close.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Know your audience pal…nothing is easy around here.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s not what you said about Low Commander in Vegas…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Up bup bup bup….we’re not bringing that up.
that whole roofie colada thing didn’t sit well.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Neither did he when you were through with him

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe….well played, Sir.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

T _ M | _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _

Senor Weaselo

Tom Brady Quinn?

Senor Weaselo

Wait, I can’t count. Can I buy an O at least?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Also yes

T O M | _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ O _ _ _

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tom Brady’s Pooop

theeWeeBabySeamus

shit too many o’s

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No B, otherwise I would have said yes because that’s better than mine.

Brocky

Tom Brady

Tim tebow

Tim Brown

All my quick answers gone

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Buy an I

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No I

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

O then.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tim Wright Wrong

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tom Slippy Fist
(shit…no I’s)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s even better than back fat satan

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why don’t we play poker anymore?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Because you touch yourself at night

theeWeeBabySeamus

Never was an issue before, but OK.

Brocky

My laptop taking a dive certainly doesn’t help…

Senor Weaselo

Y’know, I asked myself that same question. And then I went back to playing Need for Speed on my phone.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

I forgot that was a thing. I’m game

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Easy one from me, then bedtime:

_ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And YES, Still NFL before and after

Brocky

T

BrettFavresColonoscopy

T _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _

theeWeeBabySeamus

B

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No b

Brocky

M

Brocky

Okay, an easy one, cuz I can’t think if

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it Derrick Brooks Bollinger?

Brocky

I really need to get some sleep

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wait, gimme a sec, I can get this one.

Brocky

If this takes more than a second….

Senor Weaselo

Uhh…

Brocky

Yeah, I caught it too late

Brocky

Alrigjt, let me try to think of one…

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

I can see Manhattan out of the hotel window in Hackensack. This hotel room is the grass is greener analogy personified.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No you hippies, not Hackysack.

Senor Weaselo

It was nice driving up the BQE underpass by the Brooklyn Bridge after rehearsal tonight, because then I also had that area at the waterfront, which I have multiple bittersweet memories of.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Today was the anniversary of the turkey drop episode of WKRP in Cincinatti.

Brocky

Major major Wright

Brocky

Shit do I have to buy a vowel?

Senor Weaselo

Ding!

Brocky

The only major major I remember is catch 22, is that it?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is that like a Corporal Captain?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry…obscure M*A*S*H reference.

Senor Weaselo

That was the one! I thought about going name and title, but Major Major Major Wright would have been ridiculous.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Oh yes this makes perfect sense

Senor Weaselo

Yes, yes, and also yes.
M _ _ _ R () M _ _ _ R () W R I G H T

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I was thinking Minor Major Wright but you said no N

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And I’m an idiot with the I

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Is this still a before and after?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was beginning to wonder this myself, actually.

Senor Weaselo

Yes.

Senor Weaselo

Wait, did the before and after have to be both NFL players? Because it’s not that. That may help.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Doesn’t have to be

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

The answer is “the thorax” am I right or what

Brocky

You mean lorax

Brocky

Rather presumptuous of me. Sorry I’m in a weird mood

theeWeeBabySeamus

Personally, I’m a fan of the abdomen.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

O

Senor Weaselo

M _ _ O R () M _ _ O R () W R I G H T

Brocky

J.

Because i want to feel smart

Senor Weaselo

M _ J O R () M _ J O R () W R I G H T

Senor Weaselo

No to tWBS’s B.
_ _ _ _ R () _ _ _ _ R () W R _ _ H T

theeWeeBabySeamus

G

BrettFavresColonoscopy

M

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Buy an I

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I want to buy an R please

theeWeeBabySeamus

If none of you buys an E I’ll have to kill you.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Rex Ryan Mallett

Senor Weaselo

Category remains Before and After. (Edited for Brocky and Sharkbait.)
_ _ _ _ R () _ _ _ _ R () W R _ _ _ T

BrettFavresColonoscopy

H

theeWeeBabySeamus

B

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Weaselo, is there an S

Senor Weaselo

No S, yes to Brocky’s T.
_ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ T

BrettFavresColonoscopy

C?

Senor Weaselo

Nope!

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

F?

Brocky

W?

WCS

If anyone is still around, I’m game to set another puzzle.

WCS

We’ll belay this.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Game show Wednesday?

Brocky

Oh, shit, we’re doing actual word puzzles? I saw the random posts, so I just started typing gibberish. My bad

Brocky

Lol, leave it to me to be random the one fucking time it would be taken literally

theeWeeBabySeamus

I thought it was funny if that helps.

Brocky

Oh it is, just, that’s such a commentary on my life

Brocky

And I was wondering why we had 5 pages of comments

Senor Weaselo

I’ve got one! Before and After.
_ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ _

Brocky

The sound of music?

WCS

N

Senor Weaselo

No N.

WCS

R?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Are those eyes, spaces, or vaginas? I might be feeling a little lonely.

Senor Weaselo

They’re spaces. It’s me, so it’s never vaginas, even when we hope it is.

Brocky

T?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I seriously might change my FF team name to Back Fat Satan.
It makes me giggle.

Brocky

Trek okc at least two years later in the dark

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Brocky, I don’t understand your puzzle

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

Brocky

Spoiler
this really isn’t that funny

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s also not really a spoiler but…OK.

Brocky

comment image

Brocky

I was playing the phone auto correct game

theeWeeBabySeamus

Did you win?

Brocky

Not for another two years apparently

theeWeeBabySeamus

No Contract is your friend.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, who’s the Sheryl Swoopes of this crew?

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Zymm is probably our best shot

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Allow me to rephrase: who’s got next?

ballsofsteelandfury

Jack Ham Salad!

WCS

ballsofsteelandfury

WhooHoo!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Cheating Yinzer collusion!!!!!!!!
Where’s the Mueller dude when you need him????????????????????????????????

WCS

_ A _ _ (space) _ A _ (space) S A _ A _

BrettFavresColonoscopy

N?

WCS

No N’s.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“This guy gets it”
-Jerry Richardson

WCS

No more vowels.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Back Fat Satan

WCS

No T

_ _ _ _ (space) _ _ _ (space ) S _ _ _ _

ballsofsteelandfury

Can I get a F?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tell me about it

ballsofsteelandfury

Can a brother get some A?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shocking….you’ve asked for F, and T&A.

WCS

Lots of A’s. Check the new post.

WCS

No F

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What about my R?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Jesus, those first guesses, we should have just done the final round and revealed RSTLNE and had the rest of us guess until WCS told us we were disappointments and he had to go to sleep.

WCS

_ _ _ _ (space) _ _ _ (space) _ _ _ _ _

Again, NFL Before and After

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pirate’s favorite letter, please

ballsofsteelandfury

Can I get a T?

theeWeeBabySeamus

S

WCS

Alright, I’ve got a puzzle, if yinz are game for another.

ballsofsteelandfury

GO!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Are we using American English or Pittsburgh English?

ballsofsteelandfury

Murrica had 2 Rs. People forget that.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’d settle for two fewer Rs in the White House right now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Senor Weaselo

BFC: Can I solve the puzzle? Or do we have to get all the letters for funsies? And in which case, I’ll take that D.

“Also taking that D, Daaron Blodgers. Definitely not that quarterback for the Packers!” -Aaron Rodgers

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Much like at the Houston

  • 500
  • 620, a bunch of guys already got there first

    BrettFavresColonoscopy

    Well that’s not a strike through.

    You catch my drift, though. Like the guys at the other gangbang caught chlamydia.

    Unsurprised
    Unsurprised

    DeSean Jaxon Deville

    BrettFavresColonoscopy

    Who gets credit for it? You or Balls? I might have to say Balls due to your missing S in Jaxson because, well

    comment image

    ballsofsteelandfury

    Also, I got the I in Deveille.

    Unsurprised
    Unsurprised

    Balls.

    ballsofsteelandfury

    Can I get a S?

    BrettFavresColonoscopy

    _ E S E _ N | _ _ _ S _ N | _ E _ _ _ L L E

    ballsofsteelandfury

    Can I buy an O?

    BrettFavresColonoscopy

    _ E S E _ N | _ _ _ S O N | _ E _ _ _ L L E

    ballsofsteelandfury

    Can I have an X?

    BrettFavresColonoscopy

    YES

    _ E S E _ N | _ _ X S O N | _ E _ _ _ L L E

    Doktor Zymm

    HAHAHAHAhehehe

    ballsofsteelandfury

    Desean Jaxson DeVeille?

    BrettFavresColonoscopy

    Ding ding ding!

    Senor Weaselo

    D?

    BrettFavresColonoscopy

    _ E _ E _ N | _ _ _ _ _ N | _ E _ _ _ L L E

    WCS

    Again, BFC: Give us the puzzle, and letters. It’s up to the rest of us to know what letters have been chosen.

    BrettFavresColonoscopy

    Again, it’s NFL Before and After. And this hotel wifi eats balls.

    WCS

    S

    theeWeeBabySeamus

    WHERE’S THE GODDAMN USED LETTER BOARD IN THIS JOINT?????????

    Unsurprised
    Unsurprised

    That was your responsibility, bro.

    Wakezilla

    I think a lot of people are going to have their world shattered when today’s investigation ends in 2+years because everyone will plead down and the Feds are purposely narrowing their search for a reason.

    Unsurprised
    Unsurprised

    Those people deserve to be disappointed for ever hoping anything would come of it. It is, at its heart, exposing the ubiquity of corruption among this entire class of D.C. operatives like Manafort and the Podesta brothers.

    Sharkbait
    Sharkbait

    I like DFO wheel of fortune

    BrettFavresColonoscopy

    The DFO game you don’t HAVE to be drunk or high for, but it sure helps.

    WCS

    For BFC: M?

    BrettFavresColonoscopy

    No M.

    Unsurprised
    Unsurprised

    This Atlantic article CTH is discussing is depressing as fuck. It is literally, and I do mean literally, the Skinner meme:

    comment image

    Check this shit:

    But their negativity toward Republicans didn’t translate to rosy feelings for the Democrats, who, they said, too frequently ignored working-class people. And some of the blame, they said, fell on their fellow workers, many of whom supported Republicans against their own interests. “The membership”—the union rank-and-file—“voted for these Republicans because of them damn guns,” a Laborers Union official said. “You cannot push it out of their head. A lot of ‘em loved it when Walker kicked our ass.”

    Debriefing after this particular group, the Third Way listeners said they found the union men demoralizing. “I feel like they can’t see their way out,” Hale said.

    “They were very negative,” Paul Neaville, another researcher, concurred.

    They were so fixated on blaming Republicans, Hale fretted. “It was very us-and-them.”

    This is why the Democrats will lose forever.

    Wakezilla

    Yup.

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