Your “It Looks Good… A Little Too Good” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Word broke over the weekend that Jerry Jones is leading a group of 17 owners “reviewing” Roger Goodell’s possible contract extension.
    • Which, of course, has nothing to do whatsoever, no sir, not one bit, with the upcoming Ezekiel Elliott suspension appeal appeal.
  • JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST!
    • Zach Miller almost lost his leg as a result of his dislocated knee in the endzone, implying he tore or otherwise damaged the femoral artery during the injury.
      • They had to get a graft from his other leg to stabilize it.
    • To quote cbssports.com, “to make matters worse: Miller’s touchdown didn’t count. After an official review, the touchdown was overturned, which seems absurd considering there definitely didn’t appear to be irrefutable evidence.”
    • There is no goddamned way I am linking a gif or video of that here. It was gruesome.
  • The World Series outdrew Sunday Night Football in the TV ratings.
    • Well, duh – they had as much scoring, and more exciting plays.
      • Sunday Night Football had Al Michaels making Jerome Bettis references, and Cris Collinsworth shilling his interest in Pro Football Focus without admitting his connection on the broadcast.

Game Preview: Broncos at Chiefs

This game seems part of a plot by Andy Reid to ensure no one wins the AFC West. The quality of opponent the Chiefs have faced during their losing streak is an escalating pile of shit. The Steelers that beat the Chiefs two weeks ago are a much better team today, although only beating the Lions by 5 points could be a troubling sign. The Raiders appeared cromulent in beating the Chiefs during the two-hour final seconds last Thursday, but then turned in a turd against the Bills. Tonight’s opponent has had only two good quarterbacks in the last 10 years, Peyton Manning V.2 & Tim Tebow J.3:16. Future saviour Paxton Lynch is inactive tonight, in favour of Brock Osweiler. The Broncos only average 18 points per game, the 18th best scoring offence in the NFL.

By design, this game should be an easy walk for the Chiefs.

AND YET!

Tonight marks the return of Jamaal Charles to KC, albeit in a Broncos uniform, so his season-ending injury may not occur until after halftime. But before that happens, look for the Broncos to try & get him going and take advantage of his desire to exact some measure of revenge. Denver defence seems designed exactly to mess with Alex Smith’s mind, and Von Miller has sacked Smith 8 times since 2014.  So if the deep routes fail early look for him to revert to his previous title of the Checkdown King. Finally, Andy Reid is their head coach, so expect some quality timeout or time management fuckups issues at least once during the game.

It could either be a Chiefs 30-point blowout or a Broncos 2-point win. At least the NFL doesn’t have to worry about competing against baseball tonight.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NFL:
    • Denver Broncos at Kansas City Chiefs – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
      • en espanol en ESPN2
  • MLS: Playoffs
    • New York Red Bulls vs. Toronto FC (Leg 1) – 7:00PM | FS1 / TSN3
    • Houston Dynamo vs. Portland Timbers (Leg 1) – 9:30PM | FS1 / TSN3
  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Blue Jackets – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Spurs at Celtics – 7:30PM | Sportsnet1
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • Let’s see who’s returned from the mumps!

I don’t know who bought MLB’s soul, but the based ball people have managed to put together two consecutive seasons of quality World Series’, and five not-bad ones total since 2012. (The Giants thumping the Tigers in 2012 was just awful; Verlander hasn’t forgotten.) Tonight’s NFL contest may make you long for another Astros-Dodgers game. HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?!

 

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Charles Clay Matthews

G’ night

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Fuck you, I wrote it down there!

But yeah, goodnight.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

It was close, but mine was in first

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

😛

Brocky
Member

Sorry , he came first

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Woooooo!!!!!!!

No, wait…..

Brocky
Member

……………………🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Hey, look at the bright side…..

You’re the only one who solved his own puzzle tonight.

You da man.

Brocky
Member

Not after this fucking column lol

Brocky
Member

Night night.

I’m too scared to say anything else because it will sound like an innuendo

Brocky
Member

_ h_ r_ _ s | _ _ _ _ | m _ _ _ h_ _ s

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

C and L

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

YOU CAN’T PICK TWO!!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Didn’t you go to sleep? And also clearly picked L below so suck it.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

No. And yes. So suck it.

Brocky
Member

I’m not…..

😪😪😪😪😪😪

Asleep!

Brocky
Member

I agree. Pick only 1 bret

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Give me a good C, Bront

Brocky
Member

And I just now Saw you picked l, so, adding c…

C h_ rl_ s | C l _ _ | m _ _ _ h_ _ s

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Charles Clay Matthews

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

R?

Brocky
Member

1 r

_ _ _ r_ _ s | _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ s

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

H

Brocky
Member

2 h’s

_ h_ r_ _ s | _ _ _ _ | m _ _ _ h_ _ s

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

L

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

M

Brocky
Member

1 m ( see below)

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

This was fun.
But we do need to re-explore poker eventually.

Night gents.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

Yes we do. Night.

Brocky
Member

C’mon, give me a whirl here

Brocky
Member

I mean, wait, shit..

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

TWSS?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Now you sound like Low Commander

Brocky
Member

Okay, I got one, and I won’t accidently post the answer this time

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

S

Brocky
Member

2 s’s

_ _ _ _ _ _ s | _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ s

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

N

Brocky
Member

No n’s

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

E

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Alright, enough dicking around
Tom Lnadry Jones

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

DAMMIT BROCKY!!!!!!!

Brocky
Member

I do what I can

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Sharky is onto something

T O M | L _ _ _ _ _ | _ O _ _ S

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

Good Lord. E??

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

T O M | L _ _ _ _ _ | _ O _ E S

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Tom Loves Gotes

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

This is not nearly as funny as my giggling implies

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

B

Brocky
Member

Tom Landry jones

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Fucker

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Winrar

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I mean, the intent was for it to be easy

T O M | _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ O _ _ _

Senor Weaselo
Member

S?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

T O M | _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ O _ _ S

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

ONLY ONE GODDAMN S???????

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

L

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Tom Florres blows.

It’s wrong, but close.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Know your audience pal…nothing is easy around here.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

That’s not what you said about Low Commander in Vegas…

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Up bup bup bup….we’re not bringing that up.
that whole roofie colada thing didn’t sit well.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Neither did he when you were through with him

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Hehehehe….well played, Sir.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

T _ M | _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _

Senor Weaselo
Member

Tom Brady Quinn?

Senor Weaselo
Member

Wait, I can’t count. Can I buy an O at least?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Also yes

T O M | _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ O _ _ _

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Tom Brady’s Pooop

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

shit too many o’s

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

No B, otherwise I would have said yes because that’s better than mine.

Brocky
Member

Tom Brady

Tim tebow

Tim Brown

All my quick answers gone

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

Buy an I

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

No I

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

O then.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Tim Wright Wrong

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Tom Slippy Fist
(shit…no I’s)

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

That’s even better than back fat satan

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Why don’t we play poker anymore?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Because you touch yourself at night

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Never was an issue before, but OK.

Brocky
Member

My laptop taking a dive certainly doesn’t help…

Senor Weaselo
Member

Y’know, I asked myself that same question. And then I went back to playing Need for Speed on my phone.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

I forgot that was a thing. I’m game

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Easy one from me, then bedtime:

_ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

And YES, Still NFL before and after

Brocky
Member

T

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

T _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

B

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

No b

Brocky
Member

M

Brocky
Member

Okay, an easy one, cuz I can’t think if

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Is it Derrick Brooks Bollinger?

Brocky
Member

I really need to get some sleep

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Wait, gimme a sec, I can get this one.

Brocky
Member

If this takes more than a second….

Senor Weaselo
Member

Uhh…

Brocky
Member

Yeah, I caught it too late

Brocky
Member

Alrigjt, let me try to think of one…

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

I can see Manhattan out of the hotel window in Hackensack. This hotel room is the grass is greener analogy personified.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

No you hippies, not Hackysack.

Senor Weaselo
Member

It was nice driving up the BQE underpass by the Brooklyn Bridge after rehearsal tonight, because then I also had that area at the waterfront, which I have multiple bittersweet memories of.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Today was the anniversary of the turkey drop episode of WKRP in Cincinatti.

Brocky
Member

Major major Wright

Brocky
Member

Shit do I have to buy a vowel?

Senor Weaselo
Member

Ding!

Brocky
Member

The only major major I remember is catch 22, is that it?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Is that like a Corporal Captain?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Sorry…obscure M*A*S*H reference.

Senor Weaselo
Member

That was the one! I thought about going name and title, but Major Major Major Wright would have been ridiculous.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Oh yes this makes perfect sense

Senor Weaselo
Member

Yes, yes, and also yes.
M _ _ _ R () M _ _ _ R () W R I G H T

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I was thinking Minor Major Wright but you said no N

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

And I’m an idiot with the I

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

Is this still a before and after?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I was beginning to wonder this myself, actually.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Yes.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Wait, did the before and after have to be both NFL players? Because it’s not that. That may help.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Doesn’t have to be

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

The answer is “the thorax” am I right or what

Brocky
Member

You mean lorax

Brocky
Member

Rather presumptuous of me. Sorry I’m in a weird mood

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Personally, I’m a fan of the abdomen.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

O

Senor Weaselo
Member

M _ _ O R () M _ _ O R () W R I G H T

Brocky
Member

J.

Because i want to feel smart

Senor Weaselo
Member

M _ J O R () M _ J O R () W R I G H T

Senor Weaselo
Member

No to tWBS’s B.
_ _ _ _ R () _ _ _ _ R () W R _ _ H T

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

G

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

M

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

Buy an I

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

I want to buy an R please

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

If none of you buys an E I’ll have to kill you.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

comment image

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Rex Ryan Mallett

Senor Weaselo
Member

Category remains Before and After. (Edited for Brocky and Sharkbait.)
_ _ _ _ R () _ _ _ _ R () W R _ _ _ T

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

H

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

B

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Weaselo, is there an S

Senor Weaselo
Member

No S, yes to Brocky’s T.
_ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ T

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

C?

Senor Weaselo
Member

Nope!

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

F?

Brocky
Member

W?

WCS
Member

If anyone is still around, I’m game to set another puzzle.

WCS
Member

We’ll belay this.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

Game show Wednesday?

Brocky
Member

Oh, shit, we’re doing actual word puzzles? I saw the random posts, so I just started typing gibberish. My bad

Brocky
Member

Lol, leave it to me to be random the one fucking time it would be taken literally

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I thought it was funny if that helps.

Brocky
Member

Oh it is, just, that’s such a commentary on my life

Brocky
Member

And I was wondering why we had 5 pages of comments

Senor Weaselo
Member

I’ve got one! Before and After.
_ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ _

Brocky
Member

The sound of music?

WCS
Member

N

Senor Weaselo
Member

No N.

WCS
Member

R?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Are those eyes, spaces, or vaginas? I might be feeling a little lonely.

Senor Weaselo
Member

They’re spaces. It’s me, so it’s never vaginas, even when we hope it is.

Brocky
Member

T?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I seriously might change my FF team name to Back Fat Satan.
It makes me giggle.

Brocky
Member

Trek okc at least two years later in the dark

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Brocky, I don’t understand your puzzle

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

LOL

Brocky
Member

Spoiler
this really isn’t that funny

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

It’s also not really a spoiler but…OK.

Brocky
Member

comment image

Brocky
Member

I was playing the phone auto correct game

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Did you win?

Brocky
Member

Not for another two years apparently

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

No Contract is your friend.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Ok, who’s the Sheryl Swoopes of this crew?

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

Zymm is probably our best shot

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Allow me to rephrase: who’s got next?

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Jack Ham Salad!

WCS
Member

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

WhooHoo!!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Cheating Yinzer collusion!!!!!!!!
Where’s the Mueller dude when you need him????????????????????????????????

WCS
Member

_ A _ _ (space) _ A _ (space) S A _ A _

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

N?

WCS
Member

No N’s.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

“This guy gets it”
-Jerry Richardson

WCS
Member

No more vowels.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Back Fat Satan

WCS
Member

No T

_ _ _ _ (space) _ _ _ (space ) S _ _ _ _

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Can I get a F?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Tell me about it

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Can a brother get some A?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Shocking….you’ve asked for F, and T&A.

WCS
Member

Lots of A’s. Check the new post.

WCS
Member

No F

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

What about my R?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Jesus, those first guesses, we should have just done the final round and revealed RSTLNE and had the rest of us guess until WCS told us we were disappointments and he had to go to sleep.

WCS
Member

_ _ _ _ (space) _ _ _ (space) _ _ _ _ _

Again, NFL Before and After

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Pirate’s favorite letter, please

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Can I get a T?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

S

WCS
Member

Alright, I’ve got a puzzle, if yinz are game for another.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

GO!

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Are we using American English or Pittsburgh English?

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Murrica had 2 Rs. People forget that.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I’d settle for two fewer Rs in the White House right now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Senor Weaselo
Member

BFC: Can I solve the puzzle? Or do we have to get all the letters for funsies? And in which case, I’ll take that D.

“Also taking that D, Daaron Blodgers. Definitely not that quarterback for the Packers!” -Aaron Rodgers

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Much like at the Houston

  • 500
  • 620, a bunch of guys already got there first

    BrettFavresColonoscopy
    Member

    Well that’s not a strike through.

    You catch my drift, though. Like the guys at the other gangbang caught chlamydia.

    Unsurprised
    Member
    Unsurprised

    DeSean Jaxon Deville

    BrettFavresColonoscopy
    Member

    Who gets credit for it? You or Balls? I might have to say Balls due to your missing S in Jaxson because, well

    comment image

    ballsofsteelandfury
    Member

    Also, I got the I in Deveille.

    Unsurprised
    Member
    Unsurprised

    Balls.

    ballsofsteelandfury
    Member

    Can I get a S?

    BrettFavresColonoscopy
    Member

    _ E S E _ N | _ _ _ S _ N | _ E _ _ _ L L E

    ballsofsteelandfury
    Member

    Can I buy an O?

    BrettFavresColonoscopy
    Member

    _ E S E _ N | _ _ _ S O N | _ E _ _ _ L L E

    ballsofsteelandfury
    Member

    Can I have an X?

    BrettFavresColonoscopy
    Member

    YES

    _ E S E _ N | _ _ X S O N | _ E _ _ _ L L E

    Doktor Zymm
    Member

    HAHAHAHAhehehe

    ballsofsteelandfury
    Member

    Desean Jaxson DeVeille?

    BrettFavresColonoscopy
    Member

    Ding ding ding!

    Senor Weaselo
    Member

    D?

    BrettFavresColonoscopy
    Member

    _ E _ E _ N | _ _ _ _ _ N | _ E _ _ _ L L E

    WCS
    Member

    Again, BFC: Give us the puzzle, and letters. It’s up to the rest of us to know what letters have been chosen.

    BrettFavresColonoscopy
    Member

    Again, it’s NFL Before and After. And this hotel wifi eats balls.

    WCS
    Member

    S

    theeWeeBabySeamus
    Member

    WHERE’S THE GODDAMN USED LETTER BOARD IN THIS JOINT?????????

    Unsurprised
    Member
    Unsurprised

    That was your responsibility, bro.

    Wakezilla
    Member

    I think a lot of people are going to have their world shattered when today’s investigation ends in 2+years because everyone will plead down and the Feds are purposely narrowing their search for a reason.

    Unsurprised
    Member
    Unsurprised

    Those people deserve to be disappointed for ever hoping anything would come of it. It is, at its heart, exposing the ubiquity of corruption among this entire class of D.C. operatives like Manafort and the Podesta brothers.

    Sharkbait
    Member
    Sharkbait

    I like DFO wheel of fortune

    BrettFavresColonoscopy
    Member

    The DFO game you don’t HAVE to be drunk or high for, but it sure helps.

    WCS
    Member

    For BFC: M?

    BrettFavresColonoscopy
    Member

    No M.

    Unsurprised
    Member
    Unsurprised

    This Atlantic article CTH is discussing is depressing as fuck. It is literally, and I do mean literally, the Skinner meme:

    comment image

    Check this shit:

    But their negativity toward Republicans didn’t translate to rosy feelings for the Democrats, who, they said, too frequently ignored working-class people. And some of the blame, they said, fell on their fellow workers, many of whom supported Republicans against their own interests. “The membership”—the union rank-and-file—“voted for these Republicans because of them damn guns,” a Laborers Union official said. “You cannot push it out of their head. A lot of ‘em loved it when Walker kicked our ass.”

    Debriefing after this particular group, the Third Way listeners said they found the union men demoralizing. “I feel like they can’t see their way out,” Hale said.

    “They were very negative,” Paul Neaville, another researcher, concurred.

    They were so fixated on blaming Republicans, Hale fretted. “It was very us-and-them.”

    This is why the Democrats will lose forever.

    Wakezilla
    Member

    Yup.

    1 3 4 5
    wpDiscuz