Yes, it’s coming early this year, but Bedlam! nonetheless.

First, the rolly-ball varietal.  Stoke City and Leicester start us off (8:30, NBCSN), with the time zones still all fucked up and shite.  Stoke are really awful, Foxes slightly less so.  Alarm not set.  Newcastle and Bournemouth somehow pass for NBCSN’s “feature” for the 11:00 window, with all 3 secondary matches on NBC Gold.  I guess I will probably watch Swans v. Brighton & Hove.  Meh.

Shitty-ass West Ham take on literal Redshite at 1:30 (NBC), which should not take you away from the 2nd half of JV NFL action.

All the good stuff is saved for Sunday, with a blockbuster NBCSN tripleheader.  Well, mighty Spurs and doormat Palace (7:00) can be skipped, but runaway leaders City hosting Arsenal (9:15) and inevitable runners up United’s visit to Stamford Bridge (11:30) cannot.  Well, I will have the latter muted whilst I watch Everton trudge through another dreary loss to the Moose-Hornets of Watford on NBC Gold.  Because such is my fate in life.

Auburn at Texas A&M (Noon, ESPN)

Watch to see if Kevin Sumlin gets fired!

Kansas State at Texas Tech (Noon, FS1)

Random, unimportant game that I bet is pretty fun to watch.

Syracuse at Florida State (12:20, ACCN)

One team other than Son of Clem has to beat FSU to break that 30-year bowl streak.  We’re all rootin’ for ya, Jim Brown U!

South Carolina at Georgia (3:30, CBS)

Another victim for the between-the-hedges meat grinder.  Collision course with Roll Damn Tide still on track.

Iowa State at West By God Virginia (3:30, ESPN2)

Yes, Iowa State is confirmed as a legitimately good footy squadron.  Just how good will be tested by their trip to Morganhole.

Stanford at Washington State (3:30, Fox)

Wazzu is reeling, the Tree is stumbling in the opposite direction.  Does momentum really mean anything in JV NFL?  Especially in the PAC 12?

Oklahoma at Oklahoma State (4:00, FS1)

Here’s your true headliner, and hopefully the winner (not just if Boomer Sooner) will get a playoff ducat.  Because the Big 12-ish is fun, damn it.  This will be an electric atmosphere, with hopefully a footy match that is worthy of same.

Texas at TCU (7:15, ESPN)

Your reminder that, once again, the TV foofs didn’t space the fixtures out very well.  Hopefully this will be more watchable than I expect.

LSU at Alabama (8:00, CBS)

For old times’ sake, one has to give this one a chance.  But the magic is gone, and Roll Damn Tide ought run train.

Virginia Tech at Miami (8:00, ABC)

On paper, a really good matchup, but both sides are just a wet fart in my estimation.

Arizona at USC (10:45, ESPN)

Really nice tweaker matchup, long after any normal folk could even dream of staying awake.  Bear Down FOAR Midterms just keep winning, don’t they?