Bedlam! Lesser Footy Thread

Yes, it’s coming early this year, but Bedlam! nonetheless.

First, the rolly-ball varietal.  Stoke City and Leicester start us off (8:30, NBCSN), with the time zones still all fucked up and shite.  Stoke are really awful, Foxes slightly less so.  Alarm not set.  Newcastle and Bournemouth somehow pass for NBCSN’s “feature” for the 11:00 window, with all 3 secondary matches on NBC Gold.  I guess I will probably watch Swans v. Brighton & Hove.  Meh.

Shitty-ass West Ham take on literal Redshite at 1:30 (NBC), which should not take you away from the 2nd half of JV NFL action.

All the good stuff is saved for Sunday, with a blockbuster NBCSN tripleheader.  Well, mighty Spurs and doormat Palace (7:00) can be skipped, but runaway leaders City hosting Arsenal (9:15) and inevitable runners up United’s visit to Stamford Bridge (11:30) cannot.  Well, I will have the latter muted whilst I watch Everton trudge through another dreary loss to the Moose-Hornets of Watford on NBC Gold.  Because such is my fate in life.

Auburn at Texas A&M (Noon, ESPN)

Watch to see if Kevin Sumlin gets fired!

Kansas State at Texas Tech (Noon, FS1)

Random, unimportant game that I bet is pretty fun to watch.

Syracuse at Florida State (12:20, ACCN)

One team other than Son of Clem has to beat FSU to break that 30-year bowl streak.  We’re all rootin’ for ya, Jim Brown U!

South Carolina at Georgia (3:30, CBS)

Another victim for the between-the-hedges meat grinder.  Collision course with Roll Damn Tide still on track.

Iowa State at West By God Virginia (3:30, ESPN2)

Yes, Iowa State is confirmed as a legitimately good footy squadron.  Just how good will be tested by their trip to Morganhole.

Stanford at Washington State (3:30, Fox)

Wazzu is reeling, the Tree is stumbling in the opposite direction.  Does momentum really mean anything in JV NFL?  Especially in the PAC 12?

Oklahoma at Oklahoma State (4:00, FS1)

Here’s your true headliner, and hopefully the winner (not just if Boomer Sooner) will get a playoff ducat.  Because the Big 12-ish is fun, damn it.  This will be an electric atmosphere, with hopefully a footy match that is worthy of same.

Texas at TCU (7:15, ESPN)

Your reminder that, once again, the TV foofs didn’t space the fixtures out very well.  Hopefully this will be more watchable than I expect.

LSU at Alabama (8:00, CBS)

For old times’ sake, one has to give this one a chance.  But the magic is gone, and Roll Damn Tide ought run train.

Virginia Tech at Miami (8:00, ABC)

On paper, a really good matchup, but both sides are just a wet fart in my estimation.

Arizona at USC (10:45, ESPN)

Really nice tweaker matchup, long after any normal folk could even dream of staying awake.  Bear Down FOAR Midterms just keep winning, don’t they?

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve literally never heard the word “pylon” said that much and that often in such a short period of time.

Oh…and you were all wrong. TD stands fo’ TT.

...

You may say they’re… piling on the references.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You are not watching the right porn then.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Now that’s fucking funny right there.
Well done, sir.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

How is Bill Snyder still alive? He’s gotta be like 126 by now, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Even without investors or customers “Squank” starts his business.

scotchnaut

Me: “I’s gonna make me some chili.”

Veal: “Can I get involved?”

Me: “You don’t even exist!”

Veal: [sad face]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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We’ll cheer you up, Veal!

Fronkenshteen

It just started raining here. I’m a big toasty cinnamon bun.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

UMASS hanging with Miss. St.? But Paaaaaawwwwwwwwww!

herodotus450

Hmm I don’t know, that doesn’t coincide with the college football narrative for the last 20 years; it MUSt be that umass is super good and no one knows about them! Just wait untl they join the sec in a few years!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I laughed, yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pooh shoulda got teh Oscar.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Barkitecture?

scotchnaut

“Oh My.”

-FSU punt returner

Fronkenshteen

Shitballs. I’m blacked out of the ‘Cuse game. I live in Virginia.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

If Babers could not wear the camo hat it’d be a bit easier to back Cuse football.

scotchnaut

Can’t rec this a million times?

/disappointed

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

I’m guessing your pill bottle is half empty?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

That there is a keeper.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m presuming you’re intending to give the points. If not, I’m coming over right away to make sure you’re properly medicated.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, that’s what I mean. Just didn’t want me beloved Hippo getting all soft and betting his heart.

Bcuz dey gon’ crush us, son.

scotchnaut

Holy Banana Cake! Cuse gets a score. Down 7.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Yeah Right is a great cook, but………

Fronkenshteen

The olives are a nice hat tip to Cliff Burton’s moles, AMIRITE?!?

/is murdered by dirt bags

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Under what circumstances does Martavis Bryant become fantasy relevant this season?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Step 3: profit

Fronkenshteen

/dies

scotchnaut

All I’m going to say is that his mother dropped him from her fantasy squad. Make of that what you will.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Not the only time she dropped him.

scotchnaut

“Ouch!”

-Martivas Bryant

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

/Pictured

All government agencies looking for guidance under the Trump administration

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

and it is right before Thanksgiving.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You know that dinner that makes the brat you like so much?

h
ttps://78.media.tumblr.com/26d77d20b44651b89d0c4cc847862f53/tumblr_oyrtzk7zRu1qzhjh2o1_400.gif

Fronkenshteen

What game are we watching?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, Jesus, did he survive that?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Minor” TBI.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Aubie Tamu will never get a green card.

laserguru

I’m going to be making the mother sauce today. Old school with the Italian sausages, ground veal, onion, garlic, green pepper and mushrooms. I’ll let it go for about 5 hours today and about 3 more tomorrow.

I’ll be making my own pasta tomorrow, spaghetti cutter this time instead of fettuccine. I’m also batting around the idea of making homemade bread tomorrow. Make three loaves, cook one freeze two and then I’ll have fresh bread ready to cook on thanksgiving.

Gotta stay in shape during the Sunday Gravy off-season.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Holy macaroni, that sounds good.

laserguru

I have enough faith in my pasta dough that I’m not afraid to use the more narrow cutting attachment.

scotchnaut

You I like. I’ll kill you last but I won’t lie about it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And now my satellite system seems to have died.
Oh Universe, you really do want to see my brains on the ceiling today, don’t you?

I’m at a loss here fellas. I think I’ll go buy some powerball tickets.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“Having read their Descartes, the mammals realize what their fate entails.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

When monkeys and cats rely on each other for comfort……. our world is doomed.

scotchnaut

“You’d be wise to invest in Rollerball.”

-James Caan, before the epiphany

theeWeeBabySeamus

Crisis averted.
‘Twas the niece’s fault downstairs. Trying to find a spare plug for video game, unplugged the system.

You guys would be proud of me. I didn’t even call her a dumb little cunt or anything.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus

The wee baby is growing up before our eyes. Is it misty in here?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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scotchnaut

Knowing what I know about theweebabyShamoo, it’s probably Misty Beethoven over at his place.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus

This isn’t what it look, ok yes it’s exactly what it looks like.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Closest I could find to a video store.

laserguru

Fuck yes!

laserguru

Get thee behind me relegation.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

A Lipozene ad during my football game? I thought I knew you, America. smgdh

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hoping for this one, were you?
Also, would you cast someone for a testosterone booster who cannot pronounce “testosterone”?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StQ1hDPCC0A

scotchnaut

take the Conseco Challenge!

Me: [tries to head a flyball over the home run fence]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus

Bob always reminds me of Scott Walker.

scotchnaut

Penn-Tup Desire State gets scored on.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh come on, Sparty!!!!! You had one jorb.

Everything sucks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, that was better.

scotchnaut

Cuse qb Dungey hangs the ball up there.

/Intercept

scotchnaut

Probably wouldn’t have thrown it to t’udder team if his dad approved of his lifestyle…

scotchnaut

Ice Redblacks are playing against the nascent Ice Raiders at 2. Erik Karlsson has vaulted to 5th in assists having played only 8 games.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Who drew the short straw and is interim HC for the Gators, btw? I never did hear.
But there seems to be no immediate improvement.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tru Dat

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I better do some “baking” before I end up on the news later. smgdh

For the life of me, I don’t know how these assholes always know what day to show up to maximize screwing up my game watching intentions.

scotchnaut

/Interaction between me and the two grocery stores and the butcher shop in my wee town earlier

Me: “I’m in the mind to make some chili today. I have some ground pork and leftover prime rib. I’d like to add some ground veal as well.”

Stores: “FUCK YOU! WE’LL CARRY WHAT WE WANT-NOT WHAT YOU LIKE! AND DON’T EVEN THINK OF LOOKING FOR CIABATTA BREAD! THAT’S FOR SISSIES AND LOSERS!

litre_cola

Bread makers are the tits

scotchnaut

I’m a white male in his 50’s. Nothing that I want should be outside the reach of my outstretched arm at all times. That’s the law!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just accidentally liked one of my own tweets. Did not know you could do that.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I was taking it as a sign to self gratify until lady BFC wakes up

litre_cola

GLORY BOY

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just found out that not one, not two, but three sets of pain in the ass family members plan to converge here later this afternoon, right about the time of the Clemson/NCSU kickoff.

I am not happy. This is unlikely to end well for them.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Buncha bandwagon redneck Carolina fans. When Clemson is taking us apart, just one wrong comment from one of them is all it’s gonna take. I’m almost looking forward to it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh wait sorry. A few of them don’t root for Carolina in football, they root for Notre Dame.

You see where I’m going here, right? This is gon’ be ugly.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Your place has locks, right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Both.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

All three.

scotchnaut

I hope that what does come to light is so overwhelming that a tipping point is created.

/seems like ‘facts’ aren’t enough, folks have to be ‘swayed’ in a certain direction for justice to be done these days

...

Nothing beats a banner quote to remind you of last night’s mistakes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Morning. It’s colder inside my apartment than outside right now.

litre_cola

It is -4 F here. This is not normal. It’s fine because climate change isn’t real.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Also you have so many cowboys to keep you warm

scotchnaut

Have you considering closing your fridge door for a while?

scotchnaut

I will supervisoUr-rate the shit out of that guy!

Wakezilla

Anyone watching the GSP fight tonight? I can’t be bothered. Aside from the fact I’m uncomfortable with GSP returning (dude should be a movie star in Hollywood North, not looking like he hates fighting in the Octagon), the Xenophobic rhetoric of Bisbing, in order to appeal to Nativists out there, is a turn off.

litre_cola

If I am awake and I can find a stream I might. Not really interested though.

scotchnaut

Thank you shitty weather! My plan to pile firewood (yet again) has morphed into climbing into my PJ’s and a bottle of my namesake.

Fronkenshteen

Hippo, is Devontae Booker starting to become a thing? Will Manny Sanders be on a pitch count with his bum ankle, or is it all hands on deck at this point?

litre_cola

I am in need of help in my money league(s) hmmmmm will Booker out play Anderson ?

litre_cola

Well I lost OBJ, and now my cagey late rounder of Watson is gone, which in turn makes Will Fuller V useless, and my qb is crabstealer. I am 5-3 somehow and play the basement dweller this week.

litre_cola

Sent you an email.

litre_cola

Was that a goal by the robot?

litre_cola

Would you say Shaquiri’s hips don’t lie?

litre_cola
litre_cola

Does orange juice and caramel corn count as a balanced breakfast?

Wakezilla

It’s a healthy breakfast if you’ve watched Stranger Things 2

scotchnaut

Anyone want a Horton’s Ice Capp for breakkie?

/on me

herodotus450

Let’s try that new coffee place, Busher Jackson’s, instead.
/Ol Timmy played 24 years in the NHL? Over half his life.

scotchnaut

Busher Jackson? That’s an obscure pull. There’s a pic of a shirtless Timmy out there-nothing but muscle and sinew.

/you don’t often hear the phrase “won the genetic lottery” ascribed to hockey players but Horton, Bobby Hull, Howe and Messier come to mind.

Wakezilla

Hell yeah! Fun fact: I’ll be going there for breakfast after the first class I teach. So, medium ice cap with chocolate for me, please.

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