Howdy folks!
I feel it is my responsibility to remind everyone, well us U.S. residing folks anyway, that Thanksgiving is Thursday. Like, next fucking Thursday. As in 5 goddamn days Thursday.
And you haven’t even been to the grocery store yet have you?
HAVE YOU!?!
What are you thinking? That can of corn isn’t going to heat itself!
Man, if only somebody somewhere would have detailed instructions for what to do if you’ve waited too long to start your Thanksgiving meal preparation. Damn! Maybe someday. What a missed opportunity.
Back when I was a younger fella I used to be one of those lunatics who made the entire Thanksgiving meal by myself. Breads, pies, turkey all of the goddamn sides and I am here to tell you that that shit is LUNACY! Fuck that, man. You’ve got to do the group dinner prep. For the last several years eldest right and her husband have brought a smoked turkey and all of the dessert items along with some home brew that my son-in-law makes himself. That way all I have to do is make the breads and the sides. I can do that shit. Doing the whole meal is a young man’s game
This year I am bypassing the standard mashed potatoes – roasted garlic mashed potatoes at that – and am instead making my traditional Grandmommie’s dressing along with this beauty
gratin potatoes with onion, and gruyere cheese from this past season of Sunday Gravy.
I will also be baking a loaf of fresh homemade bread,
another recipe from this past season.
Oh yeah.
Wait, why are you grabbing your coat and your car keys?
You’re not going to the store now are you?
Stop that shit! Go on Monday or Tuesday, we’ve got shit to do.
Tonight we are taking it easy. We’ve got games to watch, liquor to imbibe, perhaps sample a few smokeables and/or edibles if you so desire and we’ve got dick jokes to make!
If you want some hot early season NBA action, here’s the schedule.
If the NHL is your thing, well here you go.
Our own King Hippo gave you the college football rundown earlier in the day and I’m sure there’s a smattering of college hoops if that’s more to your liking.
Now on to the good stuff. Your broadcast maps, all courtesy of 506sports.com
CBS EARLY
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Kansas City @ NY Giants | Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts |
| █ | Baltimore @ Green Bay | Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon |
| █ | Jacksonville @ Cleveland | Andrew Catalon, James Lofton |
| █ | NO GAME due to local team at home on FOX | |
Holy shit, that is an unappetizing line-up of games. Is there really that big of a demand for Jacksonville/Cleveland in Nashville? Poor bastards.
Let’s see what Fox Early has.
FOX SINGLE
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Washington @ New Orleans | Joe Buck, Troy Aikman |
| █ | LA Rams @ Minnesota | Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis, Greg Olsen |
| █ | Arizona @ Houston | Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber |
| █ | Detroit @ Chicago | Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman |
| █ | Tampa Bay @ Miami | Dick Stockton, Mark Schlereth |
| █ | Buffalo @ LA Chargers (LATE) | Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston |
| █ | BOTH LAR-MIN and BUF-LAC | |
Ah, no late games for Fox so they just jammed ’em all into the early window. Who you got on this graph? Maybe watch the Saints possibly drive the final stake into the hearts of the Washington Football Club? Tampa bay at Miami? The make-up hurricane bowl? Nah, fuck that. You’re watching my Vikes host the LAR aren’t you?
Good for you.
Finally here’s the CBS late window.
CBS LATE
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | New England vs Oakland (in Mexico City) | Jim Nantz, Tony Romo |
| █ | Cincinnati @ Denver | Greg Gumbel, Trent Green |
Here’s a fun fact. I just now discovered that Mexico City is in the equivalent of our Central Time Zone so the P*ts and Raider game is a 3:00 local start. Nice. Or I suppose you can watch the “What the Fuck Happened to You Two?” Bowl with the Bungles and the Donks.
I can smell the sadness from here.
First? Let’s grab a cocktail and get this motherfucking party started!
Check it out! There’s a jukebox in this joint.
Talk to me, people!
The Wake D line seems to be feeling OK tho.
Jerks.
https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/televangelist-threatens-viewers-grandkids-with-eternal-damnation-unless-they-buy-his-pancake-mix/
That’s one hell of a racket you got there Jim.
game, blouses
/I really hope somebody said that at the funeral
Pancake Mix! LOL!
I REALLY hope you gamblers out there took the OVER for USC-UCLA. This game is gonna get closer to 100.
AZ/OR had an o/u that zoomed from 70 to 77, which is just fucking NUTS. But they hit 49 in the first half alone…
fuck you in your fucking fuck hole
Well fuck.
imagine how mad we’d be if this fixture meant anything
If we’d beaten Clem and Sons and then pulled this out our ass?
Meh, that would be soooooo us.
better yet, if had beaten ND too, and were knocking on the playoff door
LOL, yep that too.
This is supposed to be a goddamned NFL FRONT LINE
Yeah, we ain’t getting much push.
So pitiful.
GUH, such fucking shit
me: any historical figure?
wizard: that’s right
[later at dinner]
Beethoven: you seem disappointed
me: *hiding dog treats* it’s fine
At least the UCLA-USC game is interesting
For now. But yes.
wearing ur UCLA gear or RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!?
Completely naked
unsee, UNSEE!!!!!!
/also, that prolly counts as RRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!
Chosen Rosen get one back?
7-7
Damn girl, are you a Home Depot? Because eventually I ended up with wood but only after wandering around confused and annoyed for hours.
You know, this Finley kid isn’t bad. I’m sure happy we’ve got him for another…
Aw, crap.
yeah, he don’t strike me as shit-ass stupid enough not to declare
Finley at least looks like hisself, hopefully Our Equine Lord and Saviour is watching over hay and apples.
LMAO
I should make a drink.
State has had like 8 chop block penalties in the first half so far. Ironic against Wake.
I was just thinking the exact same thing.
WVU leading, 59-20 at the half. The fuck, guys? You let them score20?!?!
MOAR points than turnovers (15), that ain’t right. Like a dude marrying a 3rd or more-distant cousin ,, smh
Ben Simmons has been a great story.
LSU’s basketball coaching staff makes the Browns front office look like the Patriots’.
them fuckers lost a 20-point lead to NC State in the NCAAT with that guy. To Mark Gottfried.
u and ur Portuguese ,, smgdh
Geno Malkin just Putin’d Blackhawks goaltender, Corey Crawford.
Horatio – tell ur Husky dogs to stop fookin’ around, eh? At least start hitting some doubles off the monstah
“I didn’t ask for this,” the Pillsbury Dough Boy cried. “I didn’t ask for any of this.” But his salty tears could not satisfy the flock of hungry ducks who wanted nothing more than to eat his soft, doughy body.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cSZ3Vsugso
Beardown!
FOAR midterms WOO!!!
“I’m working on it!”
— A. Rodgers
Philly can do one good thing and beat Golden State please.
Better late than never.
Sorry Hippo.
Fuck Wake Forest.
enjoy your moneys at least!
Would rather the W, of course.
WVU squeaking past Morgan State, 50-10, with 3:55 to play in the first half.
So part of my job is sending the NHL to Sweden. There was an issue on the Carolina-Buffalo game, and the tech in Stockholm told me to basically ignore it since its not a high priority game and almost nobody is watching it.
Did you get to go to Stockholm because that would have ruled.
Not yet. Furthest I’ve been sent is New York (from Boston). But a company paid trip is a company paid trip. Stockholm is on my list of places to go though.
I loved it. Zymm will second my sentiment. It’s awesome.
Say hi to Princess Madeleine for me.
Oh HAI! I bow and genuflect!
what did Baker Mayfield do? flip the crowd off, or sommet cooler?
General douchebaggery and swearing at the Kansas fans. What a cunt.
Way to up your draft stock you fucking knob.
He is gonna be a great Locker-room addition next year for the Giants.
LOL looks like tomorrow is International Men’s Day…I wonder if President Pumpkin Spice is gonna tweet about it.
I will apologize to my mother, ex-wife, and all 3 daughters for this existing.
My recent Wikipedia searches:
World War Z
Evil Twin Brewing
Tea pet
PAC-12 Championship Game
Raqqa Campaign (2017)
L Brands
Joe Sakic
The loud Vegas Truthers were arguing about Sakic’s age and predictably they were all wrong.
Evil Twin makes some good shit
NC State’s secondary makes me want to shoot myself in the head. MOAR than usuals.
So NXT is bringing back WarGames. There’s zero chance it’ll have enough blood to remind me of the old WCW carnage.
E-C-W! E-C-W! E-C-W!
Nobody should applaud that enthusiastically for a man getting his head slammed in a chain link gate. Must be a Bills fan.
Well, it is Ric Flair. He’d probably done something recently to deserve it.
For some reason I had to skim through the cam version of Justice League I found. It looks like shit (the movie, the cam part is a given) and the ending is just lazy shit.
WW breaks the guy’s battle axe with her sword that controlled at the Parademons? And then like every one of these turds, *wipes hands*, everything’s fixed.
Oh, also
Superman is back from the dead at least halfway through the movie.
I will note that the postscript, very end of the movie is very obviously one of Whedon’s scenes. But this is all from watching maybe 1-2 minutes of actual footage between skipping around.
Shit. GS Warriors down 15 pts early against the FUCKIN 76ers….
Trust the process.
The Sixers have been balling this year. Simmons is a beast and if Embiid stays healthy. Shit. That Covington kid has been playing too.
I have to admit that part of why I never got into The League beyond season 2 being inferior to season 1 was that I couldn’t bear to watch or listen to him or Paul Scheer, who are both incredibly repulsive and actually worse (IMO) in person.
My wife, just now, to my brother: “And this is his, (the dog’s) favorite beaver”
Brother, immediately: “Mine’s with her kids right now”
White dudes being puzzled that white dudes snap and gun down people is my favorite thing. We are fucking pathological and we all know it.
As George Carlin said (paraphrased) – “you see those blue eyes sailing out of the north, you better watch out, ’cause we’re comin and brother we’re takin’ it. And if we can’t take it, we’ll burn it. If we can’t burn it, we’ll fuck it.”
And if we can fuck it then we’re gonna take it, fuck it, and then burn it.
the full whitey
In a related note, new season of ‘Vikings’ starts 11/29.
Totally over-the-top ridiculous and I love it.
We rape! And pillage!
typical NC State shit
they keep saying “both teams still have lots to play for” (meaning State and Wake) but can’t put their finger on what that might be.
anyone excited to catch the Stanford vs. Cal game?
I think it will be good
O/U on mentions of 35th anniversary of band on the field: infinity
That seems low. I’ll take the OVER!
/Hippo…can I haz money dollars for teh gambling?
Gotta say, I didn’t expect this bar to be filled with Vegas shooter truthers.
This is being pushed by a guy saying one of hos friends who almost got into the CIA thinks there were multiple shooters.
And they’re loud about it.
hey, I told ya to go with the box o’ wine
Burn it to the ground.
But how? Gasoline can’t melt treated lumber studs and drywall. Everyone knows that.
There is no group of people more unduely confident in all their opinions than white dudes.
I’ve switch to Wild Turkey so yeah.
The new ‘How I Met Your Mother’ looks good.
College football ranking should be purely based on having an even distribution of ranked teams playing at all times throughout the day. How else am I supposed to know which games are exciting?
TAMU/Johnny Reb is gonna be in the 60s
At least Penn beat Cornell….
The trip home to Ithaca is going to be epic.
I don’t know who else is watching Mindhunter and I don’t really have anywhere to mention this except Facebook, but I hate even logging on that hellsite. So can I just put this here?
How fucking clever is it that the cold open vignettes feature the first steps of the BTK killer as he preps for his first kills as the FBI is just building its profiling system? Especially because BTK would eventually be their nemesis and who only got caught because he outed himself years after “retiring.”
I couldn’t find a chuck roast at the store but they had a nice sale on New York and rib eye roasts. I grabbed a New York roast and I’m braising that fucker for dinner tomorrow.
ACTION!
UConn +21.5 v. BC in Fenway
TAMU +2.5 @ Ole Miss (line moved to -2.5 since, no idea why but WOO)
AZ +115 moneyline to win @ Oregon (FOAR blax)
TN +16.5 v. LSU
Cal +16 @ Stanford
Hey, Horatio – I put $100 down on your Huskies to cover +21.5 in Fenway tonite. I mean, 21.5 against goddamned Boston College??
They lost 52-10 to Missouri earlier this year. I mean, yeah, it’s BC, but, yeah, it’s also UCONN.
Not much to get me excited on tonight’s slate. Probably just follow the scores on my phone and flip something on if it looks competitive. Meantime, think I’ll rewatch John Wick, but pretend the Russians are the guys that helped Trump get elected, the other assorted baddies are various and sundry Trumpistas, and John Wick is Joe Biden (or Robert Mueller). This will probably increase my enjoyment of the movie exponentially.
Pens-Blackhawks
Fuck yeah it’s my Friday bitches.
I’m off until Wednesday, off Thursday work Friday, off Saturday and Sunday, work Monday off Tuesday. I have no 5 day work weeks until after New Year.
Forward, DRINK!
so we gon’ get you high?
When I get out of work in 11 hours? Sure!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeYsTmIzjkw