LA Football Report – Post Thanksgiving Farts edition

Here we are, once again, to see where we are on the LA football landscape. Everything seems to be coming up Millhouse for good ole LA as we have three teams in first place and the other just landed the biggest fish in the NCAA coaching pond.

There is a lot happening, even if most of the city doesn’t care.  Let’s get started…

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Here is our handy dandy attendance table:

As you can see, the pro teams are getting closer to the records of the college teams while still lagging woefully behind on total attendance. I’ve added an average attendance number to make it easier to do comparisons as well as the teams’ overall win percentage.

One thing to note is that I don’t believe for a second the “official” attendance numbers the NFL puts out. Those are, of course, calculated based on seats sold, not actual people through the turnstiles. Did you see some of the crowd shots at the Chargers-Browns game?

LOVE IT!!

Our good friends at Empty Seats Galore (@EmptySeatsPics on Twitter) are the source of those pics and they have a lot more from not just the Chargers but other games.  If you are on the Twitter, I highly suggest a follow.

They noted, ironically enough, that as the Chargers’ record keeps improving, the attendance keeps dropping. It just goes to show you that in LA we prefer our greed disguised and glamourized as opposed to brazen and in the open. Dean, you’re just not an LA kind of guy…

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USC

The Trojans wrapped up a successful regular season by winning the Pac 12 conference after sweeping the Pac 12 South.  The win over Stanford was the first for a South team over the North in the long long history of the Pac 12 Championship Game.  Up next is a Cotton Bowl date against THE Ohio State Buckeyes in what, as used to be tradition, would/should have been a killer Rose Bowl.

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UCLA

UCLA fired Head Coach Jim Mora and, within a week which is lighting fast for UCLA, hired Chip Kelly as the new coach.  The “competition” for Kelly’s services was basically between Florida and UCLA and Chip chose the anonymity of life in Westwood/LA where people see celebrities at the local Ralphs and DGAF instead of Gainsville where there is fuckall to do besides overanalyze every play from last year’s bowl game and complain about the program.

Tough decision…

The big question will be how quickly Chip can produce results.  I doubt Rosen comes back and he really shouldn’t.  He should cash in that sweet sweet New York money.  Can you imagine the USC QB with the Jets and the UCLA QB with the Giants?  It’ll be like LA for the last three years except people will actually give a shit!

The Bruins will play in the Cactus Bowl in the Diamondbacks’ stadium in Phoenix on Boxing Day.  All I can say is that at least there is a pool in that stadium!  Anyone want to watch the game in that STD bouillabaise?

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RAMMIT

Rammit is in first place in the NFC West after beating a hapless Cardinals side on Sunday.  Despite Hippo’s protestations, I still refuse to believe that they are any good.  They also still have a game left against the Seahawks and it’s in Seattle.  Ask Philly how well that went.  I predict they lose the division to Seattle and settle for a Wild Card spot.  And I only say that because the rest of the NFC is RANK.  Seriously, have you looked at the standings? Carolina and Atlanta are the only competition for Wild Card spots and they both have a TON more playoff experience than RAMMIT which doesn’t bode well for them down the stretch.

Then again, the Falcons really know how to blow things, so maybe RAMMIT will get in the playoffs…

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Shitty Clippers

The Shitty Clippers are tied for first place in the AFC West with the Kansas City Chiefs and the Oakland Raiders thanks to the Chiefs’ spectacular collapse into shittyness and the injury to Derek Carr that has slowed him down tremendously. Those two things don’t happen and the Chargers are mired in third, possibly fourth.  It greatly helps that Denver has no QB and doesn’t plan on getting one any time soon.

The Shitty Clippers’ playoff hopes reside in the continuous decline of the Chiefs (did Roger Goodell threaten to buy up all of the BBQ sauce in KC? What has gotten into Andy Reid’s head?) and the putridness of the rest of the AFC.  Baltimore is coming on so there’s one Wild Card and Jacksonville needs to catch a shitty team on an even week to vault them into the second Wild Card spot. Lucky for them, Wild Card Weekend is technically an odd week.  I say the Clips miss the playoffs altogether with the Raiders’ upcoming home game in Carson giving them the division.

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So, while it’s nice to have teams in first place, the season is not close to being over and there is a lot of football to be played.  Sure, the pro teams can surprise me and end up in first place in their respective divisions and go far in the playoffs.  I can also meet Ivanka Trump, sweep her off her feet, and become Ambassador to Mexico.

I think only Hippo is willing to bet on that.  See you next time…

 

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

https://www.theringer.com/nfl/2017/12/5/16737714/los-angeles-chargers-stubhub-center-soccer-stadium-experience

God Damn It, that woman is ugly as sin. Even sadder that she’s had a lot of obvious work done.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

On the day I attended and sat in the stands, 25,000 fans showed up—and a solid chunk of them, say 40 percent, was there to watch the Cleveland Browns.

We’ve found it – The most depressing sentence in sports journalism.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Go Chefs! I want KC fans complaining and calling for Mahomes as Tiny Hands brings them to the playoffs.

SonOfSpam
Member

And as someone who has been in the “STD bouillabaise” in the pool at Chase Field, let me say that in no way has the syphillis affected my brain purple monkey dishwasher.

SonOfSpam
Member

Ivanka’s face looks like it soaked up all the KFC grease from daddy’s lap.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Despite Hippo’s protestations, I still refuse to believe that they are any good.

The only thing that makes me happier than being right when I was insisting that the Chiefs “really aren’t that good” when they were 5-0 has been watching them prove me right.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey, the 3-1 Broncos were looking….. ah fuck. The Rams are a solid team, well coached with talent; “believe” is irrelevant. That said; I just don’t see a big playoff run in them; they beat the shit out of the teams they should, but struggle against quality (as one would expect). Odds are they would lose to mini/truthers/beagles on the road. We’ll see if they can step up in these final games; as below: the schedule does not favor them.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So shitty egg roll.

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SonOfSpam
Member

no gag reflex Harry Caray glasses 2/10 would beat off to shamefully

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Well this is disappointing. I stumbled upon this account thinking it was a legal version of PFT_Commenter:

https://mobile.twitter.com/PFTLegalAdvisor

Turns out it seems to be just some lawyer who thinks like a PFT fan.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I can also meet Ivanka Trump, sweep her off her feet, …..

You’ll have to wait until her dad is done.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Let’s take a knee.

nomonkeyfun
Member

Panties/Garter Belt don’t match bra, 3/10 would not bang

yes

SonOfSpam
Member

They look like they’re auditioning for a music video that will never be made.

blaxabbath
Member

I think RAMMIT is playing just to reach the playoffs. I have a hard time seeing them take the West from SEA so they’ll celebrate the turnaround, get sent on the road to….

You know what? With MIN/PHI being the only competent NFC teams, RAMMIT could win a game so long as they don’t get shipped to SEA for their wildcard. Granted, I don’t know how good NO really is but nothing about the NFC South has been scary in the last five seasons (less Cam’s MVP year).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They have a one game lead and play Beagles H, Tits A, Niners H. and truthers A. Truthers; Jagrags A, RAMIT H, Boys H, Cards. So I would agree unless they really step up. Any away wildcard is a tough game, but maybe……

blaxabbath
Member

Even or Odd Week Jagaurs?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, we can hope; that would be hilarious for the truthers to toss one to the rags.

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