Your “The Official Flavour Of The 2017 NY Giants” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • The expected became fact this morning, as Ben McAdoo & GM Jerry Reese were both fired by the Giants.
    • Reese can claim to at least have contributed to the Giants recent Super Bowls, so his tenure wasn’t an abject failure but simply a collective one.
    • Steve Spagnuolo will be the interim replacement.
  • GRONK MAD ABOUT CHEAP SHOTS & BAD CALLS!
    • According to Deadspin, after the game Buffalo head coach Sean McDermott mentioned the incident to New England counterpart Bill Belichick, who “apologized and said the play was ‘bullshit’.”
      • Mark the date: Grumblelord felt bad for something.
    • The Patriots await the inevitable suspension (probably one game), saying “we control what we can control”.
  • Everything’s covered in the opening sentence from ESPN:
    • Baltimore Ravens cornerback Jimmy Smith, who suffered a season-ending Achilles injury Sunday, has been suspended four games for violating the NFL’s policy on performance-enhancing substances, a source told ESPN’s Adam Schefter.
  • In case you missed it, the Silverdome implosion went hilariously wrong.
    • According to CNN, only the kicker charges detonated, meaning the implosion did not take place.
      • The Washington Post said that, according to demolition company Adamo, “10 percent of the explosive charges in eight key locations failed to go off because of a wiring issue”.
    • The hope is that it can be removed soon, because the City of Pontiac has BIG PLANS for its redevelopment.
      •  The site’s eventual redevelopment “will be one of the economic opportunities that are marking a new era for the City of Pontiac,” the mayor’s office said.
    • The plan is to use excavators this week to take down the structure. Unless gravity does its thing, of course.

Finally, we are all in mourning at DFO today, after Marcus Peters returned BLEERGH to his home planet.

We anticipate his swift return, and hope that his time with the Elder Ones doesn’t bring tonight’s matchup to a frightening conclusion. It always breaks my heart when you see family photos and you know one of the people is missing.

Come back soon, big guy.


There was a larger-than-normal collection of the Jesus freaks out last night at the Seahawks game. It seemed a little odd – usually, I see them before the afternoon kickoff, because we heathens have spent the morning in Bacchus’ palace rather than the Lord’s temple. Methinks they were out due to the national broadcast & hopes they could get into a crowd-shot before the game.

    

And along with attention whores came an attention whore’s whore.

Dude, you guys won. Stay home. But I think I’ve seen your flag somewhere before…


Game preview: Steelers at Bengals

I think we all know what we’re expecting tonight,

  

But we probably won’t get it. The Bengals are on the outside of the playoff chase at 5-6, and need a win to keep their math alive. If they were right out of it, maybe then we’d get more of the Pacman & Burfict Show. But they are going so far to humanize this game, Peter King sent an intern out to Cincinnati to lovingly cup Burfict’s balls. (That’s what I guess – I’m not actually going to watch it.) However, a silver lining could be that losing this game might finally put an irremovable target on coach Marv Lewis’ back, and bring the changes Bengals fans long for. But not too much change; Mike Brown is still the GM, and change costs money.

The Steelers can’t afford to roll with the cheap shots either. They need a win to keep pace with the Patriots, lest they want to go to Foxboro in January. Ben needs to stay upright, and Le”Veon Bell needs more work on his ground game. They could probably sit Antonio Brown and still be fine, but he’s so enjoyable to watch it’d be a crime to not keep him active. Plus, he’ll give the Bengals’ safeties fits, and that might be the spark that leads to greater conflict. On the whole, expect lots of this,

and few actual punches. A convincing win and no injuries will make this the best-case scenario for the Steelers tonight.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Monday Night Football:
    • Steelers at Bengals – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Predators – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Cavs at Bulls – 8:00PM | Sportsnet1
  •  NCAA:
    • Men’s basketball:
      • Michigan at Ohio State – 6:30PM | FS1
      • Wisconsin at Penn State – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Florida State at Florida – 9:00PM | ESPN2
      • Northern Illinois at Iowa State – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • no PPV until the Rumble, so all rivalries in a holding pattern
  • Curling:
    • 2017 Roar of the Rings Olympic Trials: Draw 8 – 7:00PM | TSN2

I don’t know why people keep trying to bring the Lord into football. After all, the owners worship Mammon, and Goodell wants to be richer than Croesus. A POX UPON THEM ALL!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

So that’s who taught G.G. Allin to throw his shit around.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

WHERE’S HIS FUCKING CHIN!?!?

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

What’d I miss?

Wakezilla
Member

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Senor Weaselo
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Well, I have finally seen the Clarkson Emirates first class commercial.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Serial killers by astrological sign; US.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo
Member

Stupid sexy saints.

WCS
Member

Stillers might have won this battle, but, they may lose the war. Ryan Shazier has no feeling below his waist. There’s A LOT of other injuries, that would otherwise highlight the ticker. Talk about Pyrrhic Victories. Just go ahead and crown New England out of the AFC.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t know why I let myself be optimistic that CIN might win. It’s the FUCKING BENGALS,, what the fuck did I expect? Maybe the Ravens will put an end to this nonsense next week.

King Hippo
Member

I put half of my push money on Philly (+2.5 @ RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!) and the other on NC State (-6 vs. Sparky in Sun Bowl). Because when you’re pissed off and hate everything, you should always make MOAR financial moves.

BTW, Yinzers making it waaaaayyyy down my list of “acceptable NFL franchises.”

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Just now?

King Hippo
Member

Le’Veon and Coach Epps kept them in the mid-teens for quite a spell.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They are slightly above the P*triots in my book.

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

Are Suzy and Charles Woodson drunk or something? This post-game show is just awkward. I think Steve Young is drunk from thinking about alcohol.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Suzy and Charlie tipped a couple back from The Suzy Flask.

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Viva La Tabula Raza
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Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, at least Gronk will be back from suspension in two weeks for the Steeler game.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

Fucking ginger QBs rarely come through in the clutch. Why is that?

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Duh, no souls.

SonOfSpam
Member

Need a soul to be clutch. Science.

Wakezilla
Member

Only in the CFL.

Wakezilla
Member

Did you see how all the Bengals rushed the kicker? Tomlin should have called a fake field goal and won on a TD. SMH. There’s just something about that guy…

SonOfSpam
Member

He seems to lack some…necessities to be a good coach.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

FUCK YOU ROETHLISBERGER GO RUN FOR A SENATE SEAT IN ALABAMA!!!

SonOfSpam
Member

He doesn’t like ’em young, just unwilling.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

People forget that.

SonOfSpam
Member

i mean come on

Wakezilla
Member

The Ben’s favourite Christmas song is Baby it’s cold outside

SonOfSpam
Member

I really can’t stay
BEN PEE PEE IN YOUR TUNA HOLE

SonOfSpam
Member

“AFC North football. Like how I treat women in the bathroom. Tough, merciless, concussed, sperm.”

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

“We’re excited to hear about the injuries. Prayers. AFC North football.”

SonOfSpam
Member

Yeah, not a lot of neurons firing right now.

The Maestro
Member

Right now?

Doktor Zymm
Member

Welp, I just watched that. I CAN’T UNWATCH IT.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Jesus that was ugly. I hope everyone is ok.

SonOfSpam
Member

I’m fine, thanks. Are you still hungover?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

SonOfSpam
Member

LOL prolly woulda missed from 5 yards back

King Hippo
Member

you know, morons, this isn’t a chip shot in the rain. Just make ’em kick it

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Fucking Bengals.

SonOfSpam
Member

“Jon, the rain appears to be…chocolate???”

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Wakezilla
Member

Burfect is going to RKO the kicker out of nowhere

SonOfSpam
Member

That would be fine.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

BAH-GAWD!!!! THAT’S BURFICT’S MUSIC!!!!

Senor Weaselo
Member

This should end like a Smash Bros. sudden death, with Bob-ombs raining upon the players.

King Hippo
Member

Why is Cincy calling timeout when they don;t have 3? They can’t force anything except letting PIT get closer.

Wakezilla
Member

Want the ball back with more time

King Hippo
Member

But there will be none regardless

Wakezilla
Member

Yeah, so it seems. TV execs told them to run closer to 9/11/12?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

The Steelers, The.

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower
Member

I see Witten’s been traded to the Lions…

Horatio Cornblower
Member

Mike Brown’s desperately hoping for OT so he can reopen the beer tents.

Redshirt
Member

Uh, I know how this will end.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck. Two goddam weeks in a row they should have lost and are once again gonna win. Fuck.

Wakezilla
Member

Let their confidence grow, so they hilariousy get curbed stomped in the playoffs

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

Full disclosure, I’m rooting for Bengals in my capacity as a Pats fan. But I HAVE hated the Steelers since the 1970s,

SonOfSpam
Member

“Wet balls are harder to grip, but you just gotta want it”

– Jerry Sandusky

deviantBastard
Member
deviantBastard

/ball slap

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Jesus Christ. Banner this man.

Col. Duke LaCross
Member

Oh man.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

The good news is that Burfict is off the stretcher and roaming around the stadium.

The bad news is that Burfict is off the stretcher and roaming around the stadium!!!!

King Hippo
Member

well, I’ll at least push on my over bet unless there’s a 20-all tie or walk-off safety

The Maestro
Member

God damn, the Bengals are unbelievable. Unbelievably dirty, that is.

Redshirt
Member

Yeah and the Steelers are saints.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Or the Patriots…

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

Let’s see. Bengals drive down and shank winning field goal as time expires, go on to lose in OT. WHO’S WITH ME HERE?!?!

deviantBastard
Member
deviantBastard

I’d drink to that if I had any quality liquor.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

As long as PIT doesn’t cover, I’M IN!

SonOfSpam
Member

Game ends in a tie, not because time runs out in overtime, but because everyone ded

SonOfSpam
Member

Just wanted to check in to reiterate that Antonio Brown is a tough little motherfucker.

litre_cola
Member

Could we have this as a playoff game please?

Horatio Cornblower
Member

No one’s gonna be left.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

Gruden hates seeing this kind of football, but he was just jerking off over Ju-Ju’s second nasty block on a blind-sided Bengals player.

SonOfSpam
Member

The crowd was saying “Ju-urns” (ain’t scrollin down to see who I plagiarized)

King Hippo
Member

oh just fuck everything on this piece of shit planet

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

Well there’s the retaliation.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

They, uh, they might want to just call this game. Someone is literally going to die in the next four minutes.

Doktor Zymm
Member

Hell, move em to different divisions

Horatio Cornblower
Member

“Rothlisberger is in his element here…a filthy bathroom in a dive bar in Georgia, facing down a shit-faced co-ed who may or may not be of age to be in said bar.”

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Banner

deviantBastard
Member
deviantBastard

All actions are alleged.

litre_cola
Member

She probably just got id’d on her way in.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Vontaze is dead. On the cart they were holding up his arm to make it look like he was alive and waving.

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