Your “The Official Flavour Of The 2017 NY Giants” Monday Night Football Open Thread

NFL News:

  • The expected became fact this morning, as Ben McAdoo & GM Jerry Reese were both fired by the Giants.
    • Reese can claim to at least have contributed to the Giants recent Super Bowls, so his tenure wasn’t an abject failure but simply a collective one.
    • Steve Spagnuolo will be the interim replacement.
  • GRONK MAD ABOUT CHEAP SHOTS & BAD CALLS!
    • According to Deadspin, after the game Buffalo head coach Sean McDermott mentioned the incident to New England counterpart Bill Belichick, who “apologized and said the play was ‘bullshit’.”
      • Mark the date: Grumblelord felt bad for something.
    • The Patriots await the inevitable suspension (probably one game), saying “we control what we can control”.
  • Everything’s covered in the opening sentence from ESPN:
    • Baltimore Ravens cornerback Jimmy Smith, who suffered a season-ending Achilles injury Sunday, has been suspended four games for violating the NFL’s policy on performance-enhancing substances, a source told ESPN’s Adam Schefter.
  • In case you missed it, the Silverdome implosion went hilariously wrong.
    • According to CNN, only the kicker charges detonated, meaning the implosion did not take place.
      • The Washington Post said that, according to demolition company Adamo, “10 percent of the explosive charges in eight key locations failed to go off because of a wiring issue”.
    • The hope is that it can be removed soon, because the City of Pontiac has BIG PLANS for its redevelopment.
      •  The site’s eventual redevelopment “will be one of the economic opportunities that are marking a new era for the City of Pontiac,” the mayor’s office said.
    • The plan is to use excavators this week to take down the structure. Unless gravity does its thing, of course.

Finally, we are all in mourning at DFO today, after Marcus Peters returned BLEERGH to his home planet.

We anticipate his swift return, and hope that his time with the Elder Ones doesn’t bring tonight’s matchup to a frightening conclusion. It always breaks my heart when you see family photos and you know one of the people is missing.

Come back soon, big guy.


There was a larger-than-normal collection of the Jesus freaks out last night at the Seahawks game. It seemed a little odd – usually, I see them before the afternoon kickoff, because we heathens have spent the morning in Bacchus’ palace rather than the Lord’s temple. Methinks they were out due to the national broadcast & hopes they could get into a crowd-shot before the game.

    

And along with attention whores came an attention whore’s whore.

Dude, you guys won. Stay home. But I think I’ve seen your flag somewhere before…


Game preview: Steelers at Bengals

I think we all know what we’re expecting tonight,

  

But we probably won’t get it. The Bengals are on the outside of the playoff chase at 5-6, and need a win to keep their math alive. If they were right out of it, maybe then we’d get more of the Pacman & Burfict Show. But they are going so far to humanize this game, Peter King sent an intern out to Cincinnati to lovingly cup Burfict’s balls. (That’s what I guess – I’m not actually going to watch it.) However, a silver lining could be that losing this game might finally put an irremovable target on coach Marv Lewis’ back, and bring the changes Bengals fans long for. But not too much change; Mike Brown is still the GM, and change costs money.

The Steelers can’t afford to roll with the cheap shots either. They need a win to keep pace with the Patriots, lest they want to go to Foxboro in January. Ben needs to stay upright, and Le”Veon Bell needs more work on his ground game. They could probably sit Antonio Brown and still be fine, but he’s so enjoyable to watch it’d be a crime to not keep him active. Plus, he’ll give the Bengals’ safeties fits, and that might be the spark that leads to greater conflict. On the whole, expect lots of this,

and few actual punches. A convincing win and no injuries will make this the best-case scenario for the Steelers tonight.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Monday Night Football:
    • Steelers at Bengals – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Predators – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Cavs at Bulls – 8:00PM | Sportsnet1
  •  NCAA:
    • Men’s basketball:
      • Michigan at Ohio State – 6:30PM | FS1
      • Wisconsin at Penn State – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Florida State at Florida – 9:00PM | ESPN2
      • Northern Illinois at Iowa State – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • no PPV until the Rumble, so all rivalries in a holding pattern
  • Curling:
    • 2017 Roar of the Rings Olympic Trials: Draw 8 – 7:00PM | TSN2

I don’t know why people keep trying to bring the Lord into football. After all, the owners worship Mammon, and Goodell wants to be richer than Croesus. A POX UPON THEM ALL!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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LemonJello

This Mixon attacks the line like an unexpected punch to the jaw…

litre_cola

Joe Mixon punched a woman. A lot of people don’t care about that.

Redshirt

Well compared to everything else, that’s not much in 2017.

tomsellecksmoustache

Huh, must have happened years ago because no one told me.

The Maestro

Too bad Mixon didn’t punch an underage girl, because that would have kept him out of football… by probably making him governor of Oklahoma.

JustStopDude

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Spur

Riker did get around.

Redshirt

Hey! AJ Green’s still an eligible receiver. I thought they went ahead and gave him Munoz’s number as a excuse not to throw to him.

King Hippo

Can Marvin coach the Stillers for the rest of the game, please?

Spur

This game is going to get real ugly. I’m making a drink.

deviantBastard

Barkeep, I’ll take one.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Why yes, I think I’ll join you.

rockingdog

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Unsurprised

Drinking. I’m going to be sober before I go to bed because I can’t stay drunk for long.

King Hippo

HOW are they leaving him so goddamned open??

Redshirt

Um, Delay of Game much?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Do you consider twice in one drive “much?”

Redshirt

As long as they no call it on both sides.

Spur

besides Dreamboat who’s the most despised active player in the NFL?

Unsurprised

Who cares? Dreamboat is a tier/category/whatever unto his wretched, Hell-spawned self.

herodotus450

Chris Pronger?

herodotus450

Woops, missed the “active” and “NFL” parts; was focused on “despised” and “player”

JustStopDude

I don’t if he is really despised…I’m just always surprised he hasn’t gotten himself killed, let alone is still in the league with all his crazy shit…Pacman Jones.

Unsurprised

He has the Mark of Cain on him.

Shogun Marcus

Your entire favorite team.

Spur

you got to pick one.

Shogun Marcus

I didn’t say YOURS specifically. Just as any opposing fan would say. I’d a said your mom otherwise. Or is that my favorite? ?

The Maestro

Richie Incognito. Or Burfict.

King Hippo

I’m gonna be ded by halftime.

litre_cola

Pacman groin injury? Well that’s no good for the lap dances later.

Redshirt

Rule 34. He might be in to that.

litre_cola

A guy was just taken off in a Gator, but look at the shoes! Stare at the shoes!

JustStopDude

So what is going on with Jon Kitna here?

He’s been looking like hot garbage every game I see him in of late….

Redshirt

I’d give my pinky toe for Jon Kitna right now. At least he keeps his long bombs in the field of play.

King Hippo

Shake ‘n’ Blake or GTFO

Redshirt

Which model? Young innocent ’94 and ’95 or Shell Shocked and Spitful late 90s?

King Hippo

Blake to Carl Pickens was the cheap QB/WR tandem I relied on when I first started playing fantasy football, so I could conserve vital auction dollars for the wrong RBs.

Redshirt

Agreed. Blake was only good until the line got him skittish. The Bengals’ 90s Oline killed Klingler’s career quick and it killed Blake’s career slowly.

litre_cola

McCarron would have made that pass

Spur

i remember who cheered when a player got hurt. Fuck these assholes.
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Shogun Marcus

Was it anyone here? No? THEN STFU!

JustStopDude

The announcers are in full “NRA MASS SHOOTING RESPONSE MODE” with the whole “it was a football play and there is NOTHING we can do to prevent this”…

Redshirt

Bengals Radio is saying the sad truth “that’s why you don’t hit with the crown of your helmet. It compresses your neck vertebrae”. Bengals lost a decent LB prospect in the late ’00s with a hit like that.

Redshirt

I won’t make a “Where’s Joey Porter?” joke. This looks very bad.

JustStopDude

As someone with spina bifida (requiring multiple surgeries), its fucking terrifying seeing an athlete go down like that.

That dead legs scenario, when that happens, is fucking terrifying.

LemonJello

Equipment managers and hydration specialists going to have to suit up for both sides by the end of this one.

Redshirt

Damn.

Spur

If we can have a slap fight each quarter that would be great.

Spur

Folks.

litre_cola

Feelin better?

Spur

i went to work.

rockingdog

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LemonJello

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Doktor Zymm

Is it horrible that I’m pretty sure the main reason those fuckers are okay with Roy Moore is because it’s little girls he’s into and not little boys?

herodotus450

I think it’s more because he’s white.

...

They’re eager to call Bill Clinton a rapist and most of them think Pizzagate is a real thing, so I’d say no.

herodotus450

Hmmm, Southern White then? Though I guess Billy was from somekansas wasn’t he.

...

Electoral politics are long a meaningful praxis, so voting is mostly about pissing off the people you hate and Moore does that very well for the most spiteful, impotent conservatives.

King Hippo

and he didn’t prosecute white folk for blowin’ up coloureds neither (that’s the American Fuhrer SUPER SUBTLE soft on crime word salad)

The Maestro

Nope. It’s precisely this. I saw on Twitter somewhere that someone was justifying Roy Moore because “Mary was also a teenager when she had Jesus.” I wish I was making that up.

LemonJello

Horrible? Not really. Accurate? Yes.

...

No, it’s an astute observation.

Plus, the current line is the allegations are just made up which is probably enough for most people to vote with a clean conscious.

Unsurprised

You are 100% correct.

Spur

and the guy doing it is preying kids from poor families. People with no resources to fight back.

Shogun Marcus

That we know of.

The Maestro

Howdy, folks. Hope y’all had a great weekend. I spent my days recording for a new EP, so it’s nice to be back in the clubhouse for the first time in a little while.

LemonJello

Hi!
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litre_cola

Is it your duet with Karen Carpenter or did that project go down the toilet?

Doktor Zymm

AND IT HAS BEGUN

litre_cola

This game is going to be fantastic.

King Hippo

Burn. That. CLOCK!

rockingdog

The red rocket andy dalton shall lead cincy to victory!
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Redshirt

I’ll take it.

Unsurprised

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Viva La Tabula Raza

No surprise, coming from a Murdoch-owned paper.

King Hippo

FUCK ANTONIO BROWN

deviantBastard

You deserve all of the likes.

rockingdog

Hey hey!!! ive got a 54% chance to win my FF match-up this week and am counting on Brown to have a big game.

King Hippo

then YOU sir, are my nemesis

King Hippo

/have maybe 30% chance to win game and with it the division

//solely dependent on fading Brown

///if I lose, I fall to wild card round and have to face the white-hot Bitchin’ Kamara team (without suspended Gronk for me)

Viva La Tabula Raza

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rockingdog

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King Hippo

yes, RUN every down

Shogun Marcus

I’m only saying this once, in response to a previous comment about going 3rd party in Alabama.
You might be right, BUT FUCK THAT AND YOU TOO. KIDDY FUCKING? REALLY?! YOU’RE FINE WITH THIS. THAT IS WHERE YOU STAND. THERE’S THE FENCE AND THERE’S TWO SIDES. PRO-KID-DIDDLE OR SOCIETY. NO SEATS ON TOP. CLEAR?
/sorry, but I work with abused kids. Go fuck yourself. Not a kid.

Redshirt

I’m against what he did. Trust me. This hit VERY close to home.

Redshirt

Ben “Not Charged with a Crime” Roethlisberger.

King Hippo

HARF! You can do many things with your willy in the potty!!

Redshirt

Bengals @ Steelers at West Heinz Field

litre_cola

How much could you get tickets for this evening?

Redshirt

Looks like $125-$140 for upper deck seats. But its a hell of a view.

Its an ugly ass stadium but there not a bad seat in the house.

Doktor Zymm

the hell is that intro?

Doktor Zymm

Remember when Brandon Marshall got fined for wearing orange shoes? The NFL should give him a refund and an apology.

Unsurprised

This is already the funniest comment of the evening.

Redshirt

That’s a nice story about Carlos Dunlap’s Anti-Bullying Campaign. Hopefully, he’s not flagged for a Personal Foul tonight.

LemonJello

Taunting. Has to be a taunting call.

Shogun Marcus

Ejection O/U?
# of plays before any Cincy D ejects? No points if Pac Man or Burfict.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe AJ Green will go nuts again!

Redshirt

What the payout odds on Dalton?

King Hippo

As long as someone takes out Antonio!

litre_cola

Eric Cantona is from Cinci right?

Redshirt

Either they showed a picture of Ken Anderson #14 or my wish came true and the 1981 Cincinnati Bengals have showed up to finish out the season.

Redshirt

Football Gods,

You saw what happened to my Buckeyes yesterday. YOU OWE ME!!!!

Shogun Marcus

…they did not. He knows why.

LemonJello

tWBS touching himself, right?

Col. Duke LaCross

Got hung up in presidential motorcade traffic today. Not a highlight.

LemonJello

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LemonJello

Or was it more like this:
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?

Col. Duke LaCross

That would’ve actually been pretty cool, but it was just a bunch of white vans.

No way he’d be seen in a black van.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Was Roy Moore part of the motorcade, in his Free Candy van?comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Immortan Don! We are shiny and gold-plated!”

*sprays self in face with Cheez Whiz*

Unsurprised

How is this old piece of shit who survives on nothing but McDonald’s, KFC, and pizza still alive? And it’s not like he’s ordering off the light menu. That fat fucking failure is eating multiple super-size meals in one sitting.

LemonJello

Satan may be a lot of things, but even he doesn’t want Herr Charlemango messing up his domain too soon?

Redshirt

Of course, Trump would change the Presidential Limousine to a Gold Batmobile.

Shogun Marcus

Do we have enough…CHIPS for this game?

Shogun Marcus

@JSD,
Congratulations on your team’s Win!
Love,
Shogun

Redshirt

Alabama has a write-in Republican candidate. We may not be electing a “To Catch a Predator” target to the Senate after all.

Unsurprised

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Whatever the worst possible outcome is, that is what will come to pass.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Unfortunately, I think most of the Alabama residents who aren’t going to vote for Doug Jones probably don’t know how to write anyway, so Moore it shall be nevertheless.

...

It’s really something to see Republicans beginning to fully realize how successful they’ve been at cornering power. They’re going to elect a paedophile with zero consequences. It’s incredible.

Unsurprised

The tax bill is absolute confirmation that they have total power and no fear of nor regard for the electorate. They will do what they want, transfer what’s left of America’s wealth to their owners, and let the whole fucking thing burn because they’re safe – financially and physically. No bodyguards are ever going to put bullets into the backs of their heads, and even if they do it will come too late to matter.

The good thing is that we are living in a watershed moment – the rapidly-accelerating end of an empire and nation that is going to collapse in blood and fire. Hopefully, we don’t take the rest of the world with us. However, if we do, well, fuck it. We’re all dead anyway.

King Hippo

I am holding onto this strangest feeling that there are somehow enough good, decent folk in even Alabama to send a good, decent man like Doug Jones to the Senate. Because FUCK, even Alabama has its limits.

Unsurprised

You’re out of your fucking mind. There aren’t enough good, decent people to fit in a phone booth.

Redshirt

Cincy News Radio made a good argument for not voting for Doug Jones (“Why should I forfeit my voice in the Senate for six years? He’s the opposite of what I stand for!”)

But still, just don’t vote for Jones or Moore. Don’t vote on party; make someone earn your vote. Jones didn’t earn it because his views are not yours. Moore didn’t earn it because he has serious character issues. Write in an write-in vote or turn in a blank ballot. Jones may be elected but at least you’re conscious will be clear.

King Hippo

It’s only three years. And he’s by all standards a good and honorable person, and public servant, will only be there until the next Presidential election (when he stands no chance of being re-elected).

Sends a pretty good message, if you ask me.

Redshirt

Only three years? Hmm… Tempting. Besides after next year, one side is going be up 5+ Senate seats. The question is GOP or Dems.

Personally for me, if he’s a Moderate Democrat, I’d do it only to give Trump a Check and Balance because Congress has forgotten that’s they job.

But if he’s pure Democrat, I’d either write-in a name or “None of the Above”.

Unsurprised

Moderate Democrats are just Republicans with a D next to their name. They’re worthless because why get a half-assed Republican when you can just vote for a Republican?

Redshirt

If this was 2007, I’d agree. But “Republican” now stands for something different. If it goes farther right, I’m going to have to identify myself as a Extremely, Egregiously Right Democrat.

King Hippo

As a big tent party advocate, I’d be happy to welcome you!

We are SAVING THE ENLIGHTENMENT and it’s a big damned job.

Redshirt

If you can be a little understanding about views of anti-abortion or gun control vs. outlaw guns, I’d be glad to subscribe to your newsletter. That’s the only things keeping me on Team GOP.

Unsurprised

I want to repeal the second amendment and I love abortion because I hate people (but also, if we had decent sex ed and contraception, abortion would only be useful for and necessary in emergencies).

Unsurprised

Republicans are Nazis.

Democrats are conservatives.

Everyone else is fucked.

Redshirt

Dems are Fascists.

Everything else is dead on.

Unsurprised

Democrats are too wimpy to be fascists. They are terrified of offending anyone, so it’s impossible to demonize and exorcise any target group from “the mainstream” like fascists do.

But they hit all the criteria of classical conservatism and many of fascism in their weird desire for global warfare against enemies of their donors (*ahem* Saudi Arabia’s genocide of Yemenis *ahem*).

...

There’s absolutely no way to Democrats will be up that many seats. Republicans aren’t defend enough that can ever be won.

Odds are much better they lose seats, likely across the midwest.

Unsurprised

Next year the Dems are defending Senate seats they won from the outrage swing in 2006. And they will get their asses kicked because the losers that were elected in 2006 and 2008 and somehow survived aren’t getting re-elected next year because they have shown themselves to effectively be Republicans who didn’t do THE ONE FUCKING JOB THEY WERE ELECTED TO DO.

Unsurprised

This is basically where a lot of leftists stand now. The Democrats don’t represent us, so if we’re going to get our asses kicked for decades then we may as well stand on principle like conservatives did. They lost and lost, but they built up an institution so that when they did win, they won everything and have been destroying the country ever since 1980 because they were patient in building up this system after Goldwater got his ass kicked in 1964.

King Hippo

It’s fucking insane. It assumes there is as much far left as there is far right (not true) and that the country will react the same to the far left as it does to the far right (also not true).

You can’t use the right’s successful tactics for leftist ends. Fundamentally different “market” both with the base (coalition that doesn’t “fall in line” like the right does) and with the electorate as a whole.

Unsurprised

No, you’re right. The dynamics are different. Being patient on the right means some billionaires pay a bunch of losers for years to write policy papers no one reads. Being patient on the left means organizing poor people and taking collective action which will result in some of them being killed by the state.

King Hippo

It would help greatly if the left had better/more strategic billionaires

Unsurprised

Billionaires are by their very being the enemy.

Shogun Marcus

You might be right, BUT FUCK THAT AND YOU TOO. KIDDY FUCKING? REALLY?! YOU’RE FINE WITH THIS. THAT IS WHERE YOU STAND. THERE’S THE FENCE AND THERE’S TWO SIDES. PRO-KID-DIDDLE OR SOCIETY. NO SEATS ON TOP. CLEAR?
/sorry, but I work with abused kids. Go fuck yourself. Not a kid.

Shogun Marcus

The legal sexual age is “hey what’s that all about?” Hippo, I do hope you’re right…but murica.

Redshirt

Yeah, because the Bengals are the only aggressors in this rivalry.
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deviantBastard

Good form tackle.

LemonJello

Not sure that’s the proper wear of headgear. 15 yard penalty!

King Hippo

My leg hurts from where I punched myself when I read stupid Antonio was active. Only hope Mike Brown has been maintaining that cementious turf even worse than normal…

Redshirt

Sorry, its field turf. But I think the old astroturf from Riverfront Stadium might be on the practice fields across the street. If you ask them to stall, I’ll drive downtown and swap out the turf.

King Hippo

I’ll go shoot up a 7-11, back in a few.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yahoo gives me a 95% chance to win this week.

I’m winning by 10.5 with LeVeon Bell to play.

My opponent has no one left.

Yahoo thinks there’s a 5 percent chance LeVeon Bell will fumble 5 times and rush for negative 5 yards.

Unsurprised

Yahoo thinks there’s a 5 percent chance LeVeon Bell will fumble 5 times and rush for negative 5 yards.

NARRATOR: He does.

Redshirt

Is LeVeon your opponent?

litre_cola

Never say never!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I can’t believe Gronk is gonna appeal that hit. Fuck, dude, that was fucking heinous. Yeah, a little cash ding, but you’re not gonna lose that fancy crib in North Attleboro.

Unsurprised

I hope upon appeal he is suspended for the rest of the season and next season. Fuck that motherfucker.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You’d think he’d want the game off to rest for the playoffs and crush some more puss

Senor Weaselo

Someone (correctly) answered the proper disposal for a flag is burning. I look forward to people protesting Jeopardy now.

Redshirt

Bengals greeting their guests for tonight.
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King Hippo

Sweep the toe, guys. SWEEP IT HARD AND EARLY.

Senor Weaselo

“Will there at least be plenty of bikes?” -LT

litre_cola

Greg the leg?

King Hippo

stop rubbing it in

deviantBastard

That’s right. START rubbing it out.

King Hippo

I really really really needs Antonio inactive.

PLEASE, GOD.

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