Your “The Official Flavour Of The 2017 NY Giants” Monday Night Football Open Thread

NFL News:

  • The expected became fact this morning, as Ben McAdoo & GM Jerry Reese were both fired by the Giants.
    • Reese can claim to at least have contributed to the Giants recent Super Bowls, so his tenure wasn’t an abject failure but simply a collective one.
    • Steve Spagnuolo will be the interim replacement.
  • GRONK MAD ABOUT CHEAP SHOTS & BAD CALLS!
    • According to Deadspin, after the game Buffalo head coach Sean McDermott mentioned the incident to New England counterpart Bill Belichick, who “apologized and said the play was ‘bullshit’.”
      • Mark the date: Grumblelord felt bad for something.
    • The Patriots await the inevitable suspension (probably one game), saying “we control what we can control”.
  • Everything’s covered in the opening sentence from ESPN:
    • Baltimore Ravens cornerback Jimmy Smith, who suffered a season-ending Achilles injury Sunday, has been suspended four games for violating the NFL’s policy on performance-enhancing substances, a source told ESPN’s Adam Schefter.
  • In case you missed it, the Silverdome implosion went hilariously wrong.
    • According to CNN, only the kicker charges detonated, meaning the implosion did not take place.
      • The Washington Post said that, according to demolition company Adamo, “10 percent of the explosive charges in eight key locations failed to go off because of a wiring issue”.
    • The hope is that it can be removed soon, because the City of Pontiac has BIG PLANS for its redevelopment.
      •  The site’s eventual redevelopment “will be one of the economic opportunities that are marking a new era for the City of Pontiac,” the mayor’s office said.
    • The plan is to use excavators this week to take down the structure. Unless gravity does its thing, of course.

Finally, we are all in mourning at DFO today, after Marcus Peters returned BLEERGH to his home planet.

We anticipate his swift return, and hope that his time with the Elder Ones doesn’t bring tonight’s matchup to a frightening conclusion. It always breaks my heart when you see family photos and you know one of the people is missing.

Come back soon, big guy.


There was a larger-than-normal collection of the Jesus freaks out last night at the Seahawks game. It seemed a little odd – usually, I see them before the afternoon kickoff, because we heathens have spent the morning in Bacchus’ palace rather than the Lord’s temple. Methinks they were out due to the national broadcast & hopes they could get into a crowd-shot before the game.

    

And along with attention whores came an attention whore’s whore.

Dude, you guys won. Stay home. But I think I’ve seen your flag somewhere before…


Game preview: Steelers at Bengals

I think we all know what we’re expecting tonight,

  

But we probably won’t get it. The Bengals are on the outside of the playoff chase at 5-6, and need a win to keep their math alive. If they were right out of it, maybe then we’d get more of the Pacman & Burfict Show. But they are going so far to humanize this game, Peter King sent an intern out to Cincinnati to lovingly cup Burfict’s balls. (That’s what I guess – I’m not actually going to watch it.) However, a silver lining could be that losing this game might finally put an irremovable target on coach Marv Lewis’ back, and bring the changes Bengals fans long for. But not too much change; Mike Brown is still the GM, and change costs money.

The Steelers can’t afford to roll with the cheap shots either. They need a win to keep pace with the Patriots, lest they want to go to Foxboro in January. Ben needs to stay upright, and Le”Veon Bell needs more work on his ground game. They could probably sit Antonio Brown and still be fine, but he’s so enjoyable to watch it’d be a crime to not keep him active. Plus, he’ll give the Bengals’ safeties fits, and that might be the spark that leads to greater conflict. On the whole, expect lots of this,

and few actual punches. A convincing win and no injuries will make this the best-case scenario for the Steelers tonight.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Monday Night Football:
    • Steelers at Bengals – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Predators – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Cavs at Bulls – 8:00PM | Sportsnet1
  •  NCAA:
    • Men’s basketball:
      • Michigan at Ohio State – 6:30PM | FS1
      • Wisconsin at Penn State – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Florida State at Florida – 9:00PM | ESPN2
      • Northern Illinois at Iowa State – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • no PPV until the Rumble, so all rivalries in a holding pattern
  • Curling:
    • 2017 Roar of the Rings Olympic Trials: Draw 8 – 7:00PM | TSN2

I don’t know why people keep trying to bring the Lord into football. After all, the owners worship Mammon, and Goodell wants to be richer than Croesus. A POX UPON THEM ALL!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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WCS

This commercial can be run over by a senile 87-year-old driver.

...

.comment image

King Hippo

This is perfect beyond perfection.

Redshirt

We have the ball and a 10-point lead. Why don’t I feel comfortable?

King Hippo

Red. Rocket.

Doktor Zymm

Muscle memory?

Mr. Ayo

You don’t get slapped with the nickname “Bungles” overnight.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m chopping washers here.

deviantBastard

PTSD?

litre_cola

Someone needs to tell China that we appreciate the effort anyhow.

https://thinkprogress.org/china-electric-cargo-ship-coal-b3c6aa90564e/

Doktor Zymm

Doesn’t the majority of electricity in the world still come from coal anyway?

litre_cola

Yes, but you think they would have had their ‘green’ tanker deliver something other than coal the 1st trip

Viva La Tabula Raza

Nope.comment image

Horatio Cornblower

I love McDonough calling out the officials. More announcers need to do that.

King Hippo

He’s quite good

Horatio Cornblower

What’s up degenerates?

I just realized there was a game on. Mondays, amirite?
/crawls back into Jameson’s bottle

WCS

Well, there’s your make-up call, Redshirt.

Redshirt

I’ll take it.

Redshirt

BLEERGH is shitty but fair

Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess Clay just isn’t Aaron’s type. Because otherwise you know how that doorway encounter ends. Yeah, he fixes the cable.

King Hippo

BLEERGH vengeance

Viva La Tabula Raza

What, no Shanklor tonight? Or is he waiting for the 4th quarter to make an appearance?

Wakezilla

Probably won’t work, but, what the hell. . . Which one of you DFOers got a lapdance from this the other night in Vegas?

Them robots comin for EVERYBODY job pic.twitter.com/sHYVt88Zta

— whomst'veatlantavegas (@Namastaywoke) December 3, 2017

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Wakezilla
Doktor Zymm

Hey! They didn’t call that out for no reason!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The NFL is so fucking rigged.

King Hippo

That score was too fast, anyway.

WCS

Even I’ll admit that was crap.

Redshirt

I can’t have nice things…

Shogun Marcus

You know why…

King Hippo

uh oh, BLEERGH

Doktor Zymm

So, the Bengals will be moving to LA?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess Marvin’s halftime speech was something to the effect of “OK men, let’s get out there and rest on our laurels!”

Doktor Zymm

Complacency is the spice of life!

Shogun Marcus

Laurels are uncomfy. Laurens though…uhh nevermind. LOVESACS FOAR ALL!

Senor Weaselo

“No, you were right the first time.” -A. Ham

Redshirt

“If it worked in the 1st Half, it’ll work in the 2nd Half!”

Redshirt

Sad thing is they were probably afraid they would be flagged for late hit out of bounds if they hit Bell.

King Hippo

Thank fuck that wasn’t Antonio Fuckface, at least. YET.

litre_cola

Aren’t the Fuckfaces feuding with the Cromarties because of a disagreement on where to deposit their seeds?

Redshirt

Why did I wake up from my nice dream?

King Hippo

you need a better heroine dealer

WCS

Reality bites.

Shogun Marcus

So did that movie. Soundtrack was great.

Redshirt

Radio: “You want to believe in this team; you really do. But when you see plays like that, its really difficult.”

litre_cola

Who is the ex athlete morning sports radio commentator? Whoever that personality is will go mental.

/please say it is Chris Sabo

Redshirt

Sorry. Its Dave Lapham (offensive lineman from 70s-80s).

litre_cola

Every city has one. We have ex-NHLer Rhett Warrener who is more doofus-y than angry and is quite funny.

Redshirt

Lapham is like an excited child. When something happens, he just starts screaming.

Doktor Zymm

That was……interesting

litre_cola

That is the most Bengals play ever.

Redshirt

Oh my fucking…

Redshirt

That’s not a first down! He slid too early!

Redshirt

Bengals Play-by-Play Commentator: “Bengals fans everywhere are saying, ‘We’ve seen this movie before and we don’t like the ending.'”

...

Alright, everybody. Name that movie!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Butch and Sundance? Also known as the true story of the WNBA

Mr. Ayo

Thelma & Louise

Horatio Cornblower

The Room

Shogun Marcus

The Mist

Shogun Marcus

Deep Throat

Shogun Marcus

The Graduate

Shogun Marcus

Kids

Redshirt

Well it was fun while it lasted.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess since Pittsburgh scored a field goal at the end of the first half, Cincinnati will now completely collapse in the second half.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone else think “Pac-Man’s Groin” would be a good FF name?

The Maestro

I once played FF with a Raiders fan who named his team “Matt McGroin”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bitchin’ Kamara is the hot name right now.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It has everything. EDM. Goldshlager specials. Even the Flock of Goodells.

You know, that thing where a flash mob comes out of nowhere naked and wearing a ball gag to hold you to restrict your movement and steal your wallet while making you lose respect for them and everything you hold dear.

Redshirt

Okay, I’m a Bengals fan, but who the hell is Brian Hill?

litre_cola

Orlando Magic coach?

Shogun Marcus

Fun Fact: Cool Ranch is called Cool American in many other parts of the world.

Doktor Zymm

Mild Temperature Cow Herd Seasoning Mix!

...

It’s our only major contribution to global culture.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sup? I hear we’re Mixon things up tonight.

/shows self out

rockingdog
Doktor Zymm

It looks like going to a Warriors game might be some legit fun. The only NBA game I’ve ever been to was a weekday Wizards game during one of the many, many years that they sucked, so going to see a team that doesn’t suck and has actual fans could be a good time

rockingdog

Im super Jealous. Have fun!

Senor Weaselo

Well, she had a good run, guys.

Shogun Marcus

You NEVER GO FULL RETARD! GODDAMNIT!

Doktor Zymm

How different is concussion protocol from an eye test?

Redshirt

I thinks its a combination of symbols and reaction. If you respond slowly, then you’re brain may be messed up.

deviantBastard

What would the suspension be if Gronk’s hit had caused a career-ending injury?

The Maestro

All I know is that James Harrison is getting fined $50,000 for it.

King Hippo

still 1 game, just required insincere apology

Shogun Marcus

Kickoff? Ooh! Coin Toss!

rockingdog

Hahahahahah!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s nice to see that TAWMMY got himself a gig with Fox News.

...

lol

rockingdog

More like Ben MacADON’T, am i rite?
comment image

Redshirt

Okay, you gotta give the Bengals some credit for the Tecmo Bowl graphics.

https://twitter.com/Bengals/status/937878210498433025/photo/1

Senor Weaselo

I can get behind that.

Redshirt

Mixon’s out and in concussion protocol.

rockingdog

comment image

What the?

Petronel

On the bright and totally irrelevant side, Matron Saint rocking the biker jacket tonite.

rockingdog

Matron Saint Suzy Kolber is the goddess that we all praise.
comment image

deviantBastard

I’m digging the look.

Shogun Marcus

Psssht. I totes rock it better….circa ’93-98.

Redshirt

Okay, if the Bengals block this, I’m running out and buying a lotto ticket.

WCS

comment image

JustStopDude

comment image

Doktor Zymm

I like how shocked guys always look when they get PI called on em

rockingdog

Fuckkkkkkk I need that catch!!! I need those points!!!!!

Redshirt

Its my fault. I starting to nervously laugh after that last TD. I felt hope.