Your “The Official Flavour Of The 2017 NY Giants” Monday Night Football Open Thread

NFL News:

  • The expected became fact this morning, as Ben McAdoo & GM Jerry Reese were both fired by the Giants.
    • Reese can claim to at least have contributed to the Giants recent Super Bowls, so his tenure wasn’t an abject failure but simply a collective one.
    • Steve Spagnuolo will be the interim replacement.
  • GRONK MAD ABOUT CHEAP SHOTS & BAD CALLS!
    • According to Deadspin, after the game Buffalo head coach Sean McDermott mentioned the incident to New England counterpart Bill Belichick, who “apologized and said the play was ‘bullshit’.”
      • Mark the date: Grumblelord felt bad for something.
    • The Patriots await the inevitable suspension (probably one game), saying “we control what we can control”.
  • Everything’s covered in the opening sentence from ESPN:
    • Baltimore Ravens cornerback Jimmy Smith, who suffered a season-ending Achilles injury Sunday, has been suspended four games for violating the NFL’s policy on performance-enhancing substances, a source told ESPN’s Adam Schefter.
  • In case you missed it, the Silverdome implosion went hilariously wrong.
    • According to CNN, only the kicker charges detonated, meaning the implosion did not take place.
      • The Washington Post said that, according to demolition company Adamo, “10 percent of the explosive charges in eight key locations failed to go off because of a wiring issue”.
    • The hope is that it can be removed soon, because the City of Pontiac has BIG PLANS for its redevelopment.
      •  The site’s eventual redevelopment “will be one of the economic opportunities that are marking a new era for the City of Pontiac,” the mayor’s office said.
    • The plan is to use excavators this week to take down the structure. Unless gravity does its thing, of course.

Finally, we are all in mourning at DFO today, after Marcus Peters returned BLEERGH to his home planet.

We anticipate his swift return, and hope that his time with the Elder Ones doesn’t bring tonight’s matchup to a frightening conclusion. It always breaks my heart when you see family photos and you know one of the people is missing.

Come back soon, big guy.


There was a larger-than-normal collection of the Jesus freaks out last night at the Seahawks game. It seemed a little odd – usually, I see them before the afternoon kickoff, because we heathens have spent the morning in Bacchus’ palace rather than the Lord’s temple. Methinks they were out due to the national broadcast & hopes they could get into a crowd-shot before the game.

    

And along with attention whores came an attention whore’s whore.

Dude, you guys won. Stay home. But I think I’ve seen your flag somewhere before…


Game preview: Steelers at Bengals

I think we all know what we’re expecting tonight,

  

But we probably won’t get it. The Bengals are on the outside of the playoff chase at 5-6, and need a win to keep their math alive. If they were right out of it, maybe then we’d get more of the Pacman & Burfict Show. But they are going so far to humanize this game, Peter King sent an intern out to Cincinnati to lovingly cup Burfict’s balls. (That’s what I guess – I’m not actually going to watch it.) However, a silver lining could be that losing this game might finally put an irremovable target on coach Marv Lewis’ back, and bring the changes Bengals fans long for. But not too much change; Mike Brown is still the GM, and change costs money.

The Steelers can’t afford to roll with the cheap shots either. They need a win to keep pace with the Patriots, lest they want to go to Foxboro in January. Ben needs to stay upright, and Le”Veon Bell needs more work on his ground game. They could probably sit Antonio Brown and still be fine, but he’s so enjoyable to watch it’d be a crime to not keep him active. Plus, he’ll give the Bengals’ safeties fits, and that might be the spark that leads to greater conflict. On the whole, expect lots of this,

and few actual punches. A convincing win and no injuries will make this the best-case scenario for the Steelers tonight.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Monday Night Football:
    • Steelers at Bengals – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Predators – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Cavs at Bulls – 8:00PM | Sportsnet1
  •  NCAA:
    • Men’s basketball:
      • Michigan at Ohio State – 6:30PM | FS1
      • Wisconsin at Penn State – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Florida State at Florida – 9:00PM | ESPN2
      • Northern Illinois at Iowa State – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • no PPV until the Rumble, so all rivalries in a holding pattern
  • Curling:
    • 2017 Roar of the Rings Olympic Trials: Draw 8 – 7:00PM | TSN2

I don’t know why people keep trying to bring the Lord into football. After all, the owners worship Mammon, and Goodell wants to be richer than Croesus. A POX UPON THEM ALL!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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King Hippo

Goddamnit, Bungles

Redshirt

There it is.

Redshirt

Marvin Lewis better for the first time in his life better give the best Halftime Speech of his life. Because I’m fear the Pittsburgh Steelers are going to be playing like crazy in the 2nd half.

Redshirt

I’m dreaming this, right?

WCS

This patented shitty half of Stillers foobawl is sponsored by PPG Paints, Pepsi, and Heinz.

Spur

this half is taking forever.

Petronel

Lots of stoppage time.

Redshirt

Night game. Rainy. Bengals playing Steelers with a lead.
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jjfozz

Has Patriot Nation collectively had an embolism over Shitdick’s suspension?

The Maestro

Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t get more. It’s completely indefensible.

Is it a loss? Hell yeah. Are they gonna be ok without him next week? Probably.

So yeah, he deserves it. I’m sure the WEEI callers feel differently, though.

LemonJello

If the “NAWT FAYUH!” taeks were bricks, Der Amerikan Fuhrer could build his wall…

Shogun Marcus

Wait…was that an actual, Non-ironic, reasonable reaction?!
/clearly my dosages are off!
//no YOU SHUT UP squirrel!

rockingdog

Yea pretty much. Caught a little bit on the radio and it was unbearable. So I turn it off.

Senor Weaselo

Did anyone say the guy he hit should be the one to get suspended?

deviantBastard

The ol’ “(s)he’s asking for it.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

As a Pats fan (granted, one with a TX accent), that reaction is a mortal embarrassment to me. I’m proud to say that my nephew up in Mass agrees with me. At least the one I’ve checked with.

...

I’m looking forward spending my Christmas with the Bears gifting the Browns their only win of the season.

Shogun Marcus

Whoa whoa whoa…not before the Pack does it FIRST!
/gb beats teh bears at all! Lol…cries.

jjfozz

Okay, I’m officially finished with Xmas. Fuck it.

King Hippo

SHITSMAS ahoy!

King Hippo

Fading a player on MNF is just the worst. I can now sympathize with an underdog GOP candidate in VA, waiting for the Demmycrats in NoVa to report.

Petronel

…the Red Rifle? Really?

LemonJello

The Ginger Hammer was already taken.

...

Shit, I just remembered Robbie Gould outscored the Bears singlehandedly yesterday.

Goddamn it.

Col. Duke LaCross

There’s no revenge like kicker revenge.

...

A dish best served Gould.

Shogun Marcus

Cuz kicker revenge don’t stop?

King Hippo

BFC asked for it, and Robbie delivered.

WCS

I’m not enjoying this.

Redshirt

I don’t know how to react.

King Hippo

at least BLEERGH is finally getting some decent air time

Doktor Zymm

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King Hippo

17-nil at the half, perhaps Coach Epps might shut it down as a precaution? Especially if it balloons to 24 on 1st possession of Q3?

/grasping at straws

Redshirt

Bengals have the Steelers in a Standing 8-count and they’re punching themselves in the face.

Senor Weaselo
Redshirt

Dalton hit the camera wire!

tomsellecksmoustache

He is known for that cannon of an arm.

LemonJello

“Did someone call?”
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Shogun Marcus

Aww shit, we all pregnant now! If only there was a wizened southern man who knows how to address unwanted forced pregnancies…

Redshirt

No! My Republican values finally come back to haunt me!!!

Unsurprised

Fuck everything.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hmm, looks like Joe Mixon took a pretty good shot to the face. Ain’t that a shame.

[puts hands in pockets, skips, whistles]

Spur

helmet to helmet to helmet

King Hippo

Christ, how many ded will there be tonight??

Redshirt

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Redshirt

Aw, hell.

Spur

Mixon ded

litre_cola

Have we seen the obligatory shot of skyline chili yet?

tomsellecksmoustache

They’d rather show people being crippled than eating diarrhea.

Senor Weaselo

What the hell was that NBA bumper?

King Hippo

ANTONIO CANNOT MAKE CUTS OUT THERE. Gots to sit him down, Coach Epps. HIPPO BEGS OF YOU

rockingdog

I just need like 1 more catch for 15 yrds…..

King Hippo

ok, you can get that first. I can suffer that much.

litre_cola

Ah yes, but with the Bengals playing well and with no Pacman in the secondary, Omar Epps needs him very badly. bulleee datt

King Hippo

ah, fuck dat noise, let Martavis shine!

Spur

When is Ben going to retire?

King Hippo

When they come out with “Just For Men: Just For Pubes!”

Redshirt

Steelers are shell-shocked with their teammate being hurt. Bengals better be careful, because if they snap out of it, they’re going to go all out to win it for their friend.

Spur

comment image replace the cupcake with a chaco taco

rockingdog

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You talkin about Choco Tacos?

LemonJello

Why not both?

rockingdog

Heard the Ben Macadoo is gonna replace HR MC Master. Wants to deal with North Korea stuff. LOL

...

I look forward to his future career giving a subtle yet inspire performance as Milton in Office Space: The Musical!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey good call on the stream. Kind of pathetic that a legitimate stream is being outperformed by a pirated one.

Senor Weaselo

Wait so what happened with Shazier?

Redshirt

Hurt his neck tackling a WR. It looked bad.

The Maestro

Very bad. Also, not good.

Doktor Zymm

Buckled his neck making a tackle, being evaluated for a back injury, potentially career ending 🙁

Spur

Reggie Jackson is lighting up the Spurs. he always goes ham on SA.

LemonJello

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rockingdog

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Redshirt
...

This is definitely my favorite tweet in a while:

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The Maestro

But nobody wants to pay us to jack off, though.

Redshirt

Not literally, anyway.

Senor Weaselo

Isn’t that composition? Wait, nobody’s paid me yet.

Unsurprised

I did that.

I’ve had 14 months of doing nothing and I’m not good at anything.

...

Success meme dudes are my favorite dudes.

Unsurprised

Survivorship Bias.

rockingdog

You heard it hear first guys, Ben Macadoo is gonna be the new secretary of state for Trump.

Shogun Marcus

ATTENTION ALL DFO LAWYERS:
Louise Belcher shall forever be my legal representation.
No offense, you get it.
Me

rockingdog

Damit Warriors are loosing to the Pelicans at the half

Spur

Dalton is liking good. where was this poise 6 weeks ago?

Redshirt

I’m scared.

Redshirt

Red letters? You got the wrong team colors on, Convention Center!

JustStopDude

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LemonJello

GODDAMMIT! HOW ABOUT SOME SPOILER TAGS.

tomsellecksmoustache

Was that Colbert talking to Tomlin? That can’t be a good sign.

Romonobyl

So Jesus is weed?
Then who the fuck is gonna exorcise the crabgrass outta my front lawn?

litre_cola

Be there on the weekend. I got this.

Romonobyl

I’ll have beer.

LemonJello

Cam wishes the refs would blow the whistle that quickly when he’s getting sacked.

tomsellecksmoustache

The Ben can’t play.

litre_cola

The Ben is thinking about going huntin for trim with Boss Todd later.

Senor Weaselo

Before I forget, Happy Zappadan, everyone!

Romonobyl

Is that like, the third candle or something?

Spur

What Canadian holiday is that?

Senor Weaselo

It celebrates the life and works of Frank Zappa!

Romonobyl

TITTIES AND BEER FOR EVERYONE!

Redshirt

I’m back! Dalton didn’t do anything stupid, did he?

LemonJello

He was waiting for you to get back, so stand by…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man, this ESPN feed looks gorgeous when it isn’t jumping around like in that “Time Keeps on Skippin'” episode of Futurama.

rockingdog

Yea my roommate had that set up and it was shitty. I found a reddit stream which is much better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDEugrY6uEg

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One game for Gronk, vs. Crabtree initially getting two? Sure, that’s fair.

Do you think Roger Goodell makes his wife wear a Patriots jersey to bed?

The Maestro

Which one of you assholes put the camera in my house?

deviantBastard

I think she wears the underwear, just pushed to the side.

LemonJello

With his gimp mask on, he can’t tell.

Spur

Clam Chowder gets everywhere.

Shogun Marcus

Well kiddy fucking is fine now, so hey, what’s potentially debilitating long-term damage? Oh what? Thems the same thing? You librul.

Romonobyl

She’ll only wear the jersey if he puts this on.

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Spur

Red Rocket Ride Rides again.

rockingdog

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Romonobyl

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Spur
Romonobyl

Nothing sez bring the noise like a keytar.