Your “The Official Flavour Of The 2017 NY Giants” Monday Night Football Open Thread

NFL News:

  • The expected became fact this morning, as Ben McAdoo & GM Jerry Reese were both fired by the Giants.
    • Reese can claim to at least have contributed to the Giants recent Super Bowls, so his tenure wasn’t an abject failure but simply a collective one.
    • Steve Spagnuolo will be the interim replacement.
  • GRONK MAD ABOUT CHEAP SHOTS & BAD CALLS!
    • According to Deadspin, after the game Buffalo head coach Sean McDermott mentioned the incident to New England counterpart Bill Belichick, who “apologized and said the play was ‘bullshit’.”
      • Mark the date: Grumblelord felt bad for something.
    • The Patriots await the inevitable suspension (probably one game), saying “we control what we can control”.
  • Everything’s covered in the opening sentence from ESPN:
    • Baltimore Ravens cornerback Jimmy Smith, who suffered a season-ending Achilles injury Sunday, has been suspended four games for violating the NFL’s policy on performance-enhancing substances, a source told ESPN’s Adam Schefter.
  • In case you missed it, the Silverdome implosion went hilariously wrong.
    • According to CNN, only the kicker charges detonated, meaning the implosion did not take place.
      • The Washington Post said that, according to demolition company Adamo, “10 percent of the explosive charges in eight key locations failed to go off because of a wiring issue”.
    • The hope is that it can be removed soon, because the City of Pontiac has BIG PLANS for its redevelopment.
      •  The site’s eventual redevelopment “will be one of the economic opportunities that are marking a new era for the City of Pontiac,” the mayor’s office said.
    • The plan is to use excavators this week to take down the structure. Unless gravity does its thing, of course.

Finally, we are all in mourning at DFO today, after Marcus Peters returned BLEERGH to his home planet.

We anticipate his swift return, and hope that his time with the Elder Ones doesn’t bring tonight’s matchup to a frightening conclusion. It always breaks my heart when you see family photos and you know one of the people is missing.

Come back soon, big guy.


There was a larger-than-normal collection of the Jesus freaks out last night at the Seahawks game. It seemed a little odd – usually, I see them before the afternoon kickoff, because we heathens have spent the morning in Bacchus’ palace rather than the Lord’s temple. Methinks they were out due to the national broadcast & hopes they could get into a crowd-shot before the game.

    

And along with attention whores came an attention whore’s whore.

Dude, you guys won. Stay home. But I think I’ve seen your flag somewhere before…


Game preview: Steelers at Bengals

I think we all know what we’re expecting tonight,

  

But we probably won’t get it. The Bengals are on the outside of the playoff chase at 5-6, and need a win to keep their math alive. If they were right out of it, maybe then we’d get more of the Pacman & Burfict Show. But they are going so far to humanize this game, Peter King sent an intern out to Cincinnati to lovingly cup Burfict’s balls. (That’s what I guess – I’m not actually going to watch it.) However, a silver lining could be that losing this game might finally put an irremovable target on coach Marv Lewis’ back, and bring the changes Bengals fans long for. But not too much change; Mike Brown is still the GM, and change costs money.

The Steelers can’t afford to roll with the cheap shots either. They need a win to keep pace with the Patriots, lest they want to go to Foxboro in January. Ben needs to stay upright, and Le”Veon Bell needs more work on his ground game. They could probably sit Antonio Brown and still be fine, but he’s so enjoyable to watch it’d be a crime to not keep him active. Plus, he’ll give the Bengals’ safeties fits, and that might be the spark that leads to greater conflict. On the whole, expect lots of this,

and few actual punches. A convincing win and no injuries will make this the best-case scenario for the Steelers tonight.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Monday Night Football:
    • Steelers at Bengals – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Predators – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Cavs at Bulls – 8:00PM | Sportsnet1
  •  NCAA:
    • Men’s basketball:
      • Michigan at Ohio State – 6:30PM | FS1
      • Wisconsin at Penn State – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Florida State at Florida – 9:00PM | ESPN2
      • Northern Illinois at Iowa State – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • no PPV until the Rumble, so all rivalries in a holding pattern
  • Curling:
    • 2017 Roar of the Rings Olympic Trials: Draw 8 – 7:00PM | TSN2

I don’t know why people keep trying to bring the Lord into football. After all, the owners worship Mammon, and Goodell wants to be richer than Croesus. A POX UPON THEM ALL!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Horatio Cornblower

Jesus, I hope they take Bell out before the Bengals literally get stabby.

Viva La Tabula Raza

The history seems to indicate that the Steelers are the shithooks here.

ballsofsteelandfury

Uh….

Yeah pretty much

Redshirt

All these rules changes are caused by the Steelers, by the way.

hippofant

But but they’re such a lovable team from America’s heartland! Whereas the Bengals are dirty bad people! Everybody knows this!

ballsofsteelandfury

Aren’t they all?

– Mel Blount

deviantBastard

That last shot of Shazier’s hit on Bernard was brutal. Led with his head in that one too.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, that was horrible tackling form.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve often thought that Van Offen should have been dragged out and shot for that hit on Palmer.

Some people call me soft-hearted.

King Hippo

You know, Tomlin COULD take him off the field even without an ejection. It’s been done.

ballsofsteelandfury

Not in this game.

Redshirt

Don’t go crazy this time, Bengals. Hurt them where it counts: on the scoreboard!

Doktor Zymm

That was just one step away from pulling a Suh

deviantBastard

Likelihood of a retaliatory hit?

King Hippo

100.000000000%

Redshirt

110%

King Hippo

I have to say, this is mighty good cider, at least. I hope I don’t end up chucking it at the teevee box

WCS

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Mr. Ayo

More like Bye-Bye Burfict Buster

Brick Meathook

Vontaze got Vontazed

Redshirt

Stretcher Count: 2

Mr. Ayo

No love lost between these two!

Redshirt

Targeting!

King Hippo

He’ll miss the first half of San Jose State, too

King Hippo

BLEERGH orgy

Mr. Ayo

Pro tip: Never bet on the Bengals.

King Hippo

hey, I only bet the over

/ah, shit

Mr. Ayo

Well if it’s the over on penalties, good job.

King Hippo

Records are made to be broken ,, ppl forget that

Horatio Cornblower

I’m just gonna say this: the Bengals don’t seem very bright.

Redshirt

Yay! We did it! 153 fucking penalty yards and fucking counting!

FUCK!

Redshirt

There it is!

deviantBastard

Ask and you shall receive.

Viva La Tabula Raza

You called it!

King Hippo

OK, new plan – get a stop that involves fuckall from Antonio Fuckface, and a 7-minute game-clinching drive. This needs to work, because I am drinking the cider that represents the only alkeehol in the residence.

Doktor Zymm

FLAGGLE ROCK
comment image?w=446&h=299&crop=1

Brick Meathook

So when do we hear a “boots on the ground” about Vegas? Because I have an awesome contribution.

ballsofsteelandfury

I think tWBS is writing it. Do you wanna incorporate it into the post or were you gonna put it in the comments?

Brick Meathook

I’ll put it in the comments. I’m lazy that way. It’s pretty good.

King Hippo

so much for that 10-minute game clinching drive, fuckos

WCS

3rd and 23? NFL BLITZ!

King Hippo

self-destruct sequence: initiated

King Hippo

accelerated

Redshirt

Why do we even have that button?!

King Hippo

Mike Brown got a deal

Senor Weaselo
Redshirt

Yeah. Uh, you still need to block the rushers.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is it because I’m getting old that the advertisements seem more annoying, or are they actually getting more annoying? For instance, I’ve had quite enough of that androgynous “What’s a computer?” kid.

Brick Meathook

That kid probably has no idea what a bottle rocket is either.

ballsofsteelandfury

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

BLEERGH’s ways are a mystery to us mere mortals.

litre_cola

That was not catcheable.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Make-up no-call? OK.

WCS

Antonio Brown dropping a pass is as rare as me making a woman climax.

Doktor Zymm

Them’s some bad beats

Viva La Tabula Raza

Lotta horseshit calls tonight.

Redshirt

Got Darn it, Dre!

ballsofsteelandfury

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Horatio Cornblower

Bell is indeed and great shape, as is my FF backfield with him and Kamura.
/both break their legs in skiing accidents the day after tomorrow.

Doktor Zymm

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King Hippo

William Jackson is doing damned good, though. I shall send him a thank you note if I hang on.

Redshirt

Bengals are flirting with Roughing the Passer.

King Hippo

they need to get a few fingers in there

deviantBastard

Or just the tip.

Horatio Cornblower

Please. Vontaze Burfict would fuck, marry and kill roughing the passer.

King Hippo

FUCKING ANTONIO

ballsofsteelandfury

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Horatio Cornblower

“As God as my witness I thought turkeys could fly!”

King Hippo

CH-eye CH-eye Rod-ri-GWEEZ

litre_cola

I love that show.

Horatio Cornblower

Truly one of the best ever.

Also Bailey was way hot.

litre_cola

This may what be gave me my nerdy girl fetish!

Horatio Cornblower

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ballsofsteelandfury

Ha ha! Great minds!

King Hippo

ginger-on-a-rope

Redshirt

I had about three heart attacks that last play.

King Hippo

Here at DFO, we expect the average Commentist to have about 4-5 a week, so you’re still good

Mr. Ayo

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Horatio Cornblower

“Amateur”
-Andy Reid

litre_cola

So if sexbots are cool, does Houston re-do the 500 quicker and more efficiently?

Doktor Zymm

The Houston 500 Hz?

Doktor Zymm

I feel like it’s almost the default that stuff isn’t a catch now

King Hippo

Random thought – somewhere, someone is beta testing themselves on the first sexbots

Shogun Marcus

That’s not really random now is it?

Horatio Cornblower

/frantically starts looking for Hippo’s cameras

WCS

What do you mean by “somewhere”? It’s Japan. It’s always Japan.

Mr. Ayo

They’re beyond beta status. Or so I’ve heard.

King Hippo

so, the first guy who thought “I could probably rip mah dick off” but then went “eh, fuck it” did so like 5-7 years ago, then.

Redshirt

I pity the poor debug testers. Ow.

...

Debug? I WAS TOLD SHE WAS CLEAN

Redshirt

Its a fumble.

Redshirt

You’re shitting me?! It went our way?!?!

WCS

It really wasn’t. I thought it was at first, but, on replay, nah.

King Hippo

haven’t you learned WHAT IS A CATCH?? by now?? Back to film study FOAR you, young fella.

Redshirt

Bengals history.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess as a Cincy fan you may be a victim of battered housewife syndrome. As one who suffered from it as a Pats fan from 1968-2001, you have my sympathies.comment image

Doktor Zymm

Cincinnati should legalize a bunch of stuff and rebrand themselves as “Cinn City”

Mr. Ayo

Terrible challenge Tomlin.

Horatio Cornblower

This is where I miss the calm, rational, not-at-all racist Tomlin takes by the late Nat Turner.

Mr. Ayo

I like to the think the record setting quick review was a giant middle finger to Tomlin for being uppity to the refs.

King Hippo

Lovie Smith-ian (no ofence)