Remember back in August when you thought Football was never gonna get here? Well it did, in case you don’t mamember. It’s now week 14. FOURTEEN! And on top of that, it’s almost Xmas! Is your brain matter fried yet? Time passes like Dreamboat on meth, ppl forget that. Speaking of, are you giving your loved ones Ugg’s this year or just thinking about it? This intro seems to be going off the rails. Where do those rails lead? TO THE GAME!
New Orleans/Atlanta: Do the Falcons need this one badly to stay in the wildcard hunt? My Ouija board has responded with, “How the hell would I know? I’m the spirit of Harry Houdini, for Christ sake!”. (he’s a bit cranky sometimes but he did tell me that Kenneth Lay was a complete fraud so I got out of Enron with plenty of time to spare) Anyway… yes, the Falcons need this one very badly. Their biggest problem is that the run D is a middle-of-the-pack 18th. That would be a bit of bad news given that the duo of Bitchin’ Kamara (my Kamara Chameleon didn’t quite take but I still have TruthBiscuit, damnit!) and Mark “No Nickname” Ingram are on pace to thrust past 3,000 combined yards rushing and receiving. The last rb combo to do that? I don’t know, why don’t you look it up-I’m busy writing a thingy at the moment. Perhaps this looks like a Saints walk but t’udder rb guys-Coleman and Freeman-are up against a Saints run D that gives up an average of 4.6 ypc. Yowch!
There’s plenty o’other things going on today, including Mr. Franken calling it a day, another school shooting, some college ball, some hockey and some other things I may have missed. Wag that jaw down below!
You know, you’d think all that hair wrapped up inside Kamara’s helmet would give him some extra protection. But no, of course not.
And I’m still waiting for the flag on the hit, btw.
He was a runner (ie, not defenseless), and also lowered his own head.
You apologist.
LMAO
Maybe he saw it coming and was only trying to duck?
Did they show the trailer for Jurassic World yet? Canadian feed is fucking with the broadcast.
No they showed the movie.
We never got full frontal on the redhead, though. Which is honestly the only reason I sat through the whole shitshow.
Just find an old shirtless picture of ron howard and squint real hard.
OH god that will be a doozy of a game next week.
Yes New Jurassic World movie!!!!
I think we just saw the whole thing.
Did the first half end during this commercial?
Andy Dwyer makes the worst movie ever made?
That’s unpossible.
I listen to the comedy channels on sirius to take my mind off…everything while I’m driving. This tune has totally captivated me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKeHQpT5wVE
I once owned that album as a child.
Fuck you Tirico! Systems my ass, look at Charmslinger go in to the tent a couple weeks ago faster than insert sexytime joke.
#BitchinNanobubbles
Hippo LOVES teh concussion protocol. It is the bestest of all protocols!
Perhaps you’d like to try it for yourself????
/gets punched in the head by Hippo
No dammit, you’re doing it wrong!!!!!!!!
HOT FUCKING DAMN! “Mad Max: Fury Road” is on free tv opposite the game. Someplace to turn when everyone leaves the field hurt.
“FURY ROAD IS EVERYTHING WRONG WITH FILM THESE DAYS-TOO MUCH DESERT, NOT ENOUGH DESSERT!”
-New York Times critic Pete Wells
Penguins, crumbling? We can only hope.
Jets look good. Although there is 13 people at the Ice Dolphins game.
Free yahoo! game is… Calgary-Montreal. Guff. At least I don’t have to watch that shithead Tkachuk for a game.
Try living here, the apologists were out in full force today.
Even though he’s an American? I don’t get how you can hand out a third suspension in two seasons and it’s still only one game
Yep, he plays on the edge. He is just young. The one in Detroit shouldn’t have counted as it was a tap. We need that grit. etc.
I blame it all on the fact that Brad Marchand isn’t currently serving an indefinite suspension. It only enables further shitheadery.
I’m trying to figure out just how many seasons he’s played. Wikipedia says he was drafted in 2016 (so june 2016) but also says he was previously suspended on March 20th, 2016.
Ah it must be a typo, suspension was March 2017. So three suspensions in 9 months, 3 of which were actual hockey months.
At least the Ice Stampeders managed to not give up five goals last night for the first time in god knows how long.
Seattle did get the expansion kiss of approval today. $650 million.
Maypr of Seattle said that Vancouver is excited to come down and get beat.
That’s cool. The last mayor got in trouble for whom he beat off.
What a surprise: when they aren’t doing well a Penguin starts crying and committing instigator penalties but not getting punished for them.
Holy shit! Albertson’s!
Apparently, this is in Klamath Falls, south of Crater Lake and just north of the California border. Basically, it’s the ass-end of nowhere.
AJ Klein looks & sounds like an old WCW jobber.
Iron Mike Sharpe style.
I blame you for this Hippo. Greg the leg better have a yuuge Sunday
I blame you for forcing me into it thanks to Sunday! I would have taken this whole week off, FFS!!
Holy shit. daFuq did I miss last week?
Greg the Leg
Yeah, I had Baby Buster and Gurley Man, fucking Zeuerlein kept getting all teh points. 2 FGs inside the 5, and a fookin’ 40-yarder with a minute left talking the margin meaninglessly from 13 to 16 (that was my margin of defeat, costing me the division title).
I mean, COME ON, the only way you lose to the Cardinals up 13 with a minute left is getting a FG blocked and returned, then an onside kick.
Hippo’s been working a little too hard on the telekinesis bullshit, methinks.
Matt Ryan has the look and personality of a thumb.
Oh shit Manti Taeo is on this Saints Team??? Da duck?
I had no idea myself.
He followed his girlfriend.
Who Dat?
It’s fine.
I didn’t want that first round bye anyway.
Obligatory fuck Julio Jones, btw.
Christ, Kamara already had 4.2 (full PPR) on that one drive. He was gonna brutalize me.
right there with you.
AJ Klein looks 40 years old
Well, looks like I’m fucked. Too much snow for the weakass directv signal to get through, and NBC sports app directs to NFL Mobile App, which tells me SORRY THERE WAS A CONNECTION ERROR PLEASE CHECK THAT YOU HAVE MOBILE NETWORK CONNECTIVITY AND TRY AGAIN. and again and again and again. I HAVE CONNECTIVITY YOU COCKSUCKERS FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKING NFL!
Arthur Blank just ran onto the field with no pants on.
Found something….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6X7m6h4t-o&feature=youtu.be
Now time to get Devonta Freeman a mild owie.
“Preach, brother!”
-Tevin Coleman owner
/me
Roy Moore’s house?
The Falcons unis are sponsored by Johnny Mathis…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGBie5pT9nw
Bitchin’ Kamaro woozy! Put the chip reader on him.
Ahhh fuck.
we can’t have nice things.
Kamara out!!!!
/hope he is ok in 4 hours
Kamara ded
Kamara now hurt.
Don’t forget – Dan Quinn, defensive genius.
That’s right Ingram…keep yo’ ass on the sidelines.
Ingram has an owie.
I just texted my ff opponent, Lights Kamara Action. I feel shame.
That’s awesome.
But fuck you because I didn’t think of it.
Atlanta looks like they’re playing in long red underwear.
At least there’s no flap in back.
SURE, why guard that motherfucker??
let’s go falcons. Fuck you Brees!
Please please please let the Democrats take the House next election if only so we can see them haul shitheaps like Erik Prince back to testify under subpoena instead of voluntarily.
I suspect he will run to some Qatar-ish hole in the wall, and end up ded against a concrete wall within a few years. Here’s hoping, anyway.
Let’s have a hoping contest!
Is it a contest if we are all hoping for the same thing?
“Hello, you play to win the game. You play to win the game. You don’t just out there to play.”
Personally, I’m hoping for a pizza.
But considering I haven’t called for one, I’m probably screwed.
I cannot believe Minny-SEW-ta’s nimrod Governor is even considering appointing anyone other than Lori Swanson to Franken’s Senate seat.
What’s the matter, is she a Packers fan or sommet??
Perhaps he’s afraid of chicken.
The Atlanta fans finally get to try Chick-fil-A
Jimmy Fallon tries to hard. He’s pushing 40, his naive man child routine is running thin.
Folks.
Snow in South Texas, over two inches on the ground already and radar looks like it’s going to last a while longer. Snow evidently fucks up satellite signal just like a heavy rain, although this is the first time I’ve been made aware of this. So I hope NBC streams it so I can watch on my phone.
Watch out for the black ice
I read that as “black rice.”
Oh god, not again!!!!
– Janay
“I read it as ‘black eyes’.”
– Janay Rice
I’m supposed to drive from Bulverde to Lackland tomorrow at 5 AM for work and meetings. I might be gonna take a miss on that. I know that I don’t know how to drive in that shit, despite being from Massachusetts.
We have no snow, it was 51 degrees here today, but it is ok there is no climate change.
Our part of North Cakalaky will have flurries over warm ground, with no chance of anything sticking.
In other words, don’t leave the house for any fucking reason.
it’s been raining for two days and in the low 40s/high 30s. Didn’t think it would stick when it started, but hoo boy is it ever.
Fishel was like a kid on a sugar high tonight. Dude spent at least 10 minutes talking about the chances of .1″ vs 1″ in various locales. Then went on to say it wouldn’t stick anyway.
What a fucking retard.
All Kamara, all the time. Please.
I approve of this message.
Negative Ghostrider.
Fantasy Query-who among you would start The World According To Garoppollo over Cam (he’s playing against the tight-ass Vikes D that is on a huge roll) hoping for a huge home run?
I wouldn’t do this.
I feel very strongly that Cam-o is going to disappoint me-o… though.
I think Cam-o-shanter even if he has a shit game will put up more than Garropotumus
Texans are 22nd against the pass and the Niners will be playing from behind most likely.
And surprisingly ok v. the run. Hippo needs shootout (for Hopkins).
I totally would.
/guy who benched Tyreek Hill last week
I’m absolutely positive that Cam isn’t going to show out vs. this Vikes D the way it’s playing right now. That’ll involve a serious breakdown of a unit that has been airtight lately. It’s not going to happen.
I am looking forward to this game. It beats Colts v anyone really.
I hate Shitsmas, and I hate footbaw winding down.
/gazes lovingly at razor blades
//don’t even have any action tonite, just fading Bitchin Kamara (and Freeman) in fantasy, which is such folly I am not even trying to find energy for it
I’m still considering NO on the moneyline for this one.
http://www.nfl.com/playoffs/playoff-picture
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVth0u4LY3k
I’ve gotta do a little work for class.