2017 Quotables – Week 13 (Results)

blaxabbath -
19

I’m not praising anyone anymore. Gold is just the new standard around here. Why? Because we got guys in here who love to caption. That’s right, we’re not here for the paychecks. We don’t care about the pundits or your fantasy commenting league. You all thought we cared? We really don’t. Roll Damn Tide.

We’re only at 25% loading so, for those of you who didn’t tune in to last night’s TNF NFC South battle (we’ll call you patriots), this summary suggests it was entertaining — or does it? I honestly don’t even know.

36%?! Come on! What else? Well, I heard the Browns already hired their next GM already. I don’t know what it says about Cleveland that the internet hasn’t even updated this fact yet.

No, I don’t know why I chose this capitalization for a Google search.

No matter. It’s just a good thing I got in this swell piece yesterday afternoon before the change was made. Oh good – 80%. So anyways here are your Week 13 Quotables results!

“Today, I am a man.” -Senor Weaselo
“‘The concussion is bad enough but ending up with an STD too?’ -Tre’Davious White” -monty this seems strange to me
“You can almost smell the regrets, poor life choices and Monistat-7 through the screen.” -LemonJello
“That pass dropped Deshone behind ‘roll’ and in front of ‘Wilhelm the Second’ on Hue Jackson’s list of Kaisers he can win with.” -BrettFavresColonoscopy
“So Russel is demonstrating what he last learned at the Ray Rice School of Boxing and Marriage Counseling.” -ArmedandHammered
“Even in a western the Indians won sometimes.” -nomonkeyfun
“Pretty sure this is how the sequel to RoboQB begins.” -sunrisesunrise
“I DEMAND AT LEAST SIX MORE CONCUSSIONS OUT THERE, LADIES!” -Enrico Pallazzo
“This was the highest Trevor Siemian’s QB rating would be for the day.” -King Hippo

Walter Payton Man of the Year Bonus Results

“J-E-W-S…JEWS…JEWS…JEWS!!!” -Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“‘Someone buy those ladies a drink!’ –Al Franken” -Wakezilla

 

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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

So I can stop wasting good jokes on the back end (phrasing), let’s talk about this shit here:

https://www.elegantjohns.com/

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO. You just had to use THAT link, huh?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I didn’t say it came from you…

…but I guess it was strongly implied

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I need to rent one.

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Senor Weaselo

What is the website for Silky Gerrard’s, ahem, services? I’ll take Sirs “Up” for $800.

1
rockingdog

Good hustle.

1
laserguru

Damn. Excellent work from start to finish.

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King Hippo

yelling Bengals fan is just great. Makes me smile each and every time.

2
montythisseemsstrangetome

We got a lot of gritty captioners here. They just want it more.

5
ballsofsteelandfury

Any day Monistat 7 makes an appearance in a dick joke football blog is a good day.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Eh, could be considered a little sour-dough

7
LemonJello

I could rise to take the bait here, but it’s the yeast of my worries right now.

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

And I have to agree, this week’s submissions were top notch and worth revisiting. So the opposite of ASU’s criteria for a new head coach.

8
blaxabbath

Damn it! I wanted to use this for the image but I’m making an effort to not be too AZ-centric with my stuff!
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2
theeWeeBabySeamus

I tried that a few times myself…it didn’t work out well…
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3
LemonJello

“Some of you are probably wondering how I got this job, and to be honest, I’m not sure myself.”

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Looks like Missouri police officers started aiming low

6
Sharkbait

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LemonJello

Good jorb, errybody!
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