Your “I’ll Take The Special” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

There’s a couple of beaut’s featured at this spot. Let’s quit jabbering and dive right in, shall we?

NYJ/Den: No this ain’t one of them. Well, unless you like misery in handy, dandy football form. Denver hadn’t lost eight in a row going all the way back to the Summer of Love. (that’s 1967, btw smgdh) A great number of horsies have gone to the glue factory in the sky since then. Asked about Siemian’s nine(!) interceptions over that span, coach Joseph has remarked, “He’s got to play better”. He then wiped his hands, turned around and then fell down the stairs. Well done, coach. Well. Done.

Ten/Ari: No, not this one either. The Titans 8-4 record gives them the #3 seed in the AFC conference as of today. They shouldn’t have any problems on the road playing against a Cards team that is playing backups-and in some positions backups to the backups-everywhere. Take a gander at the rb spot in particular-the fifth and sixth stringers should be getting some action today.

Was/LAC: Getting warmer… Qb Cousins figures that because there’s still a 1% chance that the Dacteds can make the playoffs, “There’s still something to play for”. The LawnClippers at 6-6 have a more straightforward plan to get to the postseason. It’s simply a matter of winning out the regular season (they have the Chiefs and the Raiders ahead of them in the sked) and the AFC West is theirs. Easy-peasy! Well back up the bus Shorty, ’cause that Washington team has some impressive wins out west against the Seahawks and the Rams. Are we looking at the dictionary definition of a trap game?

Phi/LAR: Here you go! This game is being tossed around as “The Battle of the Two Top Picks of the 2016 Draft”. Wordy. Wr Woods is out yet again so look for Goff to send some shots far downfield to wr Watkins. Te Ertz is in. No wait, he’s out. Hold on, he’s in. Nope. Out. Okay, that’s done with finally. I guess he’s occupying the middle ground between ‘clearing concussion protocol’ and ‘not having his head on straight just yet’. Odd place to be.

Sea/Jax: Well, looky here! Another one! Speaking of a fella that’s put a team on his shoulders, qb Wilson sure does fit the bill. By means of his legs and his arm he’s accounted for 82%of the Seahawks yardage on O. Another stunner-of the 30 TD’s the offense has scored, he’s had a hand in all but one. He’s up against a Jax D that has allowed 10 scores through the air and has grabbed 16(!) picks. A bum ankle has led to a drop-off in production for rb Fournette recently. If he’s not at able to get going that means that qb Bortles will have to be more than a game manager and no one wants to see that.

[Wipes hands on shirt] I’m done. Let’s get started.

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Gratliff

Some top notch tacklin, there

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Meghan Trainor is in position to judge anyone at anything.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, she is all about that bass.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Siemian finding Demariyus like the clitoris may cost me a fantasy win.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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No such thing as a Demariyus.

Gratliff

Goddamn that throw from Wilson

theeWeeBabySeamus

FF can suck my white ass.
Time to eat something and get ready to watch the Yinzers beat the shit out of my Ratbirds.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Frank Fredrico has always been pretty good at sucking ass if you are into it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Does he have nice tits?
/asking foar a friend

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Back tits; he likes the pizza a little too much.

King Hippo

HOLY FUCKBALLS, my ded Kamara playoff match is gonna be within like 5 pts. I suck at everything in life.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

ok, Tits. Get touched down.

Spur

Wade Philips has some adjustments to make with his defense and girdle.

litre_cola

Hello commentists, I hope you are all well. Fuck Russel Wilson continually.

Petronel

Redacteds radio after the TD: “Chargers pounding it in from the 1 yd line”
Me, watching the celebration: And in the end zone, too.

King Hippo

Thank fuck for the Redacted who touched Motherfucker Allen down at the 1!

rockingdog

Yeaaaaaaa Jags D getting me DEM POINTS!!!!!
Whoooooo!
Suck it WILSON!!!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“This meal will last for WEEKS!”
-Spot the Cat

Spur
Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

Another successful launch!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ooooh, Josh McCown hand owie? Time for the Christian Hackenburg experience!?

Dunstan

You’re making that name up. It’s like Sage Rosenfeld — he’s just a story invented to scare fans.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Like Krampus Phillips.

King Hippo

Bryce Petty first. Experiences…similar

Spur

The Jax game great for the seahawks hate watching

King Hippo
Dunstan

Haley tomorrow: “When I said they should be heard, I meant that they should appear on a special Fox News program to be interrogated by Hannity and Jeanne Pirro. They’ll get to the truth.”

King Hippo

yessir, 1 of my 4 GAMBLOR! events shall pay off today

Gratliff

MY QUARTERBACK

Spur

He’s a Ginger.

King Hippo

you wud fuck him and you would LOVE it

Spur

top or bottom?

King Hippo

YES

rockingdog

YES

Gratliff

Small price to pay for a legit run

rockingdog

Wentz is SLIIIINNNGINGGGGG ITTT!!!!! WhOOOoooooooOOO!

rockingdog

That second surge errrr pump is gonna get it done. rite?

King Hippo

Denver sucks so bad, they can’t even tank properly.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Delivery for Alabama.

LemonJello

These suppositories are getting out of hand.

rockingdog

Wait is that supposoed to go in your butthole?
I remember Louis CK talking about this on Conan a while back……

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLfKlZUtzSo

rockingdog

RAMMMMMIIITTTT!

King Hippo

GO FOR IT, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! yeah!

King Hippo

challenged spot in teh desert

LemonJello

Odds Herr Charlemango thinks this movie “The Greatest Showman” is about him?

Gratliff

WHAT THE FUCK DOUG

LemonJello

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

They’ll regret that decision when it crushes their skulls.

Gratliff

Challenge that spot, Doug.

King Hippo

he is…not the world’s brightest challenger

Gratliff

Gotta preserver those timeouts no matter the cost. He is the anti-Reid.

King Hippo

why is Joe Buck talking about THE GODDAMNED ANGELS??

LemonJello

All the blood rushed to his engorged phallus?

theeWeeBabySeamus

See? I knew Mookie and Ernest killt JFK.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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OH YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!

rockingdog

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Seattle still with 0 pts. Oh yea!!!!

rockingdog

12 bongs a bubbling
11 rigs a dabbing
10 pipes a puffing
9 blunts bogarting
8 spliffs we’re sparking
7 bones a burning
6 hookah’s hacking
5 golden goat grams
4 edibles
3 T-joints
2 vaping pens
and a tincture of THC

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mega sphere smoke room.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’d like to spend Christmas in your vicinity.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If it’s an ankle, why isn’t he limping?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Drugs and too-tight tape job.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Where do I sign up?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*DO NOT TAPE THROAT AND NECK AREA.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Oh Wade, is there nothing you can’t do? Aside from being a head coach…

King Hippo

Blount as 3rd down screen back?

King Hippo

yes, feed Mike Davis!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Soup? Pizza?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pedobot does not like this joke.

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rockingdog

Salad? with grilled chicken?

King Hippo

Don’t like RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! LT being dinged up.

Gratliff

That Matt Damon movie looks fucking embarrassing

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’ll have to be more specific.

King Hippo

no like dem apples??

Viva La Tabula Raza

Honey I Grew the Vodka.

Dunstan

Time to do some Christmas baking and totally not eat half of the product.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Always my downfall as well.

rockingdog

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Making cookies?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I like that you smoke weed to celebrate.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m up to 43.10.
(wooo)

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve actually got a shot at breaking my week 1 record for futility if Brady fucks up tomorrow like he did last week.

Petronel

That’s some excellent clock manglement, LA.

Gratliff

OH MY GOD CATCHTHAT

Gratliff

Fucking Sippy Kupp again

King Hippo

good pun hustle!

Shogun Marcus

He slippy, but he dinna tippy!

King Hippo

oh merde, just lost one of my DET FUMBRE recoveries on official scoring, sphincter tightens MOAR

King Hippo

WHEW!!!!

rockingdog

SuccccckkkkkkUP be me FF kicker ….damn.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ditto

King Hippo

have a VERY tight money league playoff match and that woulda killed me

King Hippo

oh shit. Fucking Arizona prevent D

rockingdog

Got it!!! RAAAAAMMMMMMMSSSS gonna fall into da Ravine & die
Eagels attack Wentz score!!!!!

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Shogun Marcus

You’re supposed to RRRRRRRRRAAAAMMMMMMIT!!! Not get rammed! Silly rammits.

Gratliff

Apprehension fading, insufferabelness rising

King Hippo

hey, somebody other than the P*ts folk should get a turn