Your “Let’s Keep ‘Er Going Fellas” Sunday Afternoon/Morning NFL Football Open Thread

I’ll acknowledge you west-coasters in the lede just this one time and then never again. There’s so much football, basketball and hockey coming out the ying yang, it’s an embarrassment of riches. And I must say that all commenters acquitted themselves quite well all day/night long yesterday. Now it’s time to do it all over again… TO THE GAMES!

Miami/Buffalo:

The non-existent money I have riding on this tilt says that Catler will revert back to one of his earlier, ineffectual lives after a truly wtf? performance last week vs. the Pats. I’ll go further-whoever gets the start between the likes of Taylor, Webb and Peterman will out-shine The Catman.

Baltimore/Cleveland:

The Browns march to the opposite of perfection continues unabated… The Ravens at 7-6 seem to be barely in the playoff race-a-roo but after this week they’ll be murderizing the Colts and Bengals so all is good on the post-season front for them.

Cincinnati/Minnesota:

The Vikes are looking to get back on track after losing to Carolina and that’s why they’re embracing a home date vs. the Bengals so closely to their bosom. Why? The awesome Minny run D faces down a Cincy rushing attack that averages less than 80 ypg. Gulp. So that puts the game in the shaky hands of Mr. Dalton and voila-there’s your Bengals loss exactly as it was drawn up on the Etch-a-Sketch.

New York Jets/New Orleans:

Qb McCown broked his dadgum hand last week. Was it the same dude that stepped on Fatty Stafford’s paw a few weeks ago? Is there a secret “QB Hand-Ruining Cabal” forming in the NFL? The evidence is thin at the moment but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about it day and night. Anyhoo, the Nathan Peterman of the Jets-Bryce Petty-will be playing the part of the sacrificial lamb today.

Philadelphia/New York Giants:

Eagles fans aren’t buying Carson Wentz’s malarkey about his injury being a part of God’s plan. No, they’ve adopted the “Fucking, Suckbagging Shit! Why Does This Happen To Us Every Time?” narrative. Why is it that drooling, alcoholic, racist dickbags can never have nice things? (“hey, I’m painting with broad strokes here-easy now, fellas”) Foles gets the start.

Arizona/Washington:

To be watched for fantasy purposes only. How you managed to get this far with anyone from these two squads on your team is a mystery for the ages. (Says the guy that cacked out last week)

Green Bay/Carolina:

Today’s hagiography is brought to you by the letters “A” and “R” and by the number “1”(man team). Props go out to Brett Hundley who did his best to staunch the bleeding by going a semi-respectable 3-5 while the league’s most valuable clavicle healed itself. As for this game, Andy Reid would say, “There’s a lot of steak here.”

Houston/Jax:

If the Jags win they be in. T.J. Yates has state, “Not if I have anything to say about it!”. So there you have it-the Jags are in.

Fire up your nipples folks, there’s work to do down below.

 

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

Hola mis amigos!

Tonight I’ll be making chicken pot pie either to celebrate or to mourn. Either way it’s be delicious.

Any of you made/going to make anything good lately?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Maybe a celebratory hotdish if Rodgers hits Adams for another score or two

JustStopDude

Beef Vindaloo.

Doktor Zymm

Capri Bibbs?
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

I’m not sure if that’s a reference, but it definitely brings back memories of halftime snacks in soccer

litre_cola

As Jerry Richardson looks over the fields…

This means so much more.

Spur

Eli hasnt been the same since watching the Last Jedi. More confident and he’s wearing a ring now.

King Hippo

fuck me, I shoulda started Captain Dingleberry

King Hippo

mah word the Jets has a touched down. The BRYCE PETTY JETS

rockingdog

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rockingdog

browns are happy!!!! happy!!!!!!!!!
weeeee!!!!!!!!

Spur

get it Eli
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JustStopDude

BWHAHAHAHA! Forth and 1 and the Ravens go for it! Denied!

Wait…we still are down by 3 with zero way of scoring or moving the ball…shit.

Redshirt

Bring back Dave Shula!

Doktor Zymm

Has anyone done the Macarena after a TD yet? These uns are all too young, aint they….

King Hippo

if anyone will…A.A. Ron

theeWeeBabySeamus

Macarena denied.

King Hippo

Lookit you, #ThePauls!!!

/moneyline them as well

rockingdog

Giants TD is happening!!

Doktor Zymm

Again? Already?

King Hippo

#ThePauls, playing super hard yet again.

JustStopDude

Actual statement by Browns radio play by play…

“Why are their screens working?”

“Well their linemen seem to do their assignments”

Spur

Flaco is loco! what a run.

Doktor Zymm

I like Modelo, it’s a solid cheap Mexican beer

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was about to say the same thing almost word for word.

King Hippo

HOT TAEK – Mexican beer is goddamned awful.

Gratliff

Eagles D just hasn’t been the same since it lost Carson Wentz

King Hippo

at least I moneyline bet Los Gigantes, and can feel SMRT about that.

King Hippo

ok, Striped Pylons, just get me a backdoor cover. 10-12 point loss.

Doktor Zymm

The Browns are actually a great example of why we should have relegation in American Football

JustStopDude

The Browns are a great example of why we should have a perpetual revolution and the bourgeois are yearly placed up against a wall to be liquidated by the masses.

rockingdog

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Doktor Zymm

What would even be the implications of that for Cleveland?

Spur

I recommend Logan Lucky.

rockingdog

I second that

Redshirt

These Bengals, I call them all mail carriers for painfully obvious reasons.

Spur

Clay Matthews can die in the fire. Cheapshot asshole.

litre_cola

Ok, this bad ff first half means that the 2nd half will be great right? RIGHT?

Redshirt

I see the Bengals are playing this one for how they feel about Marvin.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hell, I guess it’s time to start getting shitfaced.
Football sucks.

Spur

Eli’s getting that Squeeze It at halftime
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rockingdog

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King Hippo

YES!!!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well fuck, that backfired on me.
Fuck you Sean Payton.

King Hippo

It’s Canadia, so he couldn’t come right out and call you a pussy

King Hippo

Need that ThomasDOWN reversed, please

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed.

Spur

as long has it does not lead to a Kamara down.

JustStopDude

Kizer is pretty much everything I fucking hate about the Browns.

A nice young talent…serviceable. In a good system, he rides the pine for about a season or two. When he starts playing, the playbook is tailored for his ability and the players around him.

In the Browns system, he is thrown to the fucking wolves. He has no fucking talent around him what so ever. The play calling is a shitshow because the head coach refuses to get an OC and spent the entire season trying to get the GM fired (new GM already said in his first press conference that the Browns do not have any “legitimate football players”). So Kizer is getting utterly destroyed and the fans blame him for being garbage.

I hope the Pats fucking pick him up. TAWMMY goes down with an injury…and Kizer just looks fantastic and the Browns organization and fanbase can just consume itself in rage and fury because that is all we deserve.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HOLY SHIT!

Gratliff

Father Teaching Daughter How To Drive Stick In Empty Browns Parking Lot https://t.co/VgG8A4spLQ pic.twitter.com/y1wjt18zo2

— Onion Sports Network (@OnionSports) December 17, 2017

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

herodotus450

Oh man, if the Pats just played the Browns every week, I would watch.

King Hippo

Davante WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spur

Cincy your derp is showing.

Gratliff

Thanks for nothing, Cincy.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Getting kinda tired of the Mark Ingram show in ‘Nawlins.
Restored Kamara is mere decoy this week.
tWBS haz teh sadz.

King Hippo

God, the difference between A.A. Ron and fucking Hundley is amazing.

Shogun Marcus

That whole qb guru tag BlueBunny has is ridiculous.

rockingdog

ut oh…. hurt Jaguar RB???

Doktor Zymm

I actually find it kind of hard to be super concerned about an ankle nowadays. Might hurt like a bitch and take a while to heal, but that shit ain’t gonna cripple ya for life

Doktor Zymm

Are you allowed to tackle the QB in a slide if he yells ‘wheeee!’ ??

Shogun Marcus

18? Cobb? Who? Was he on the practice squad?

Spur

stomp on Rodgers nuts please

Shogun Marcus

Jesus christ what uncle touched you inappropriately? ALL?

rockingdog

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I did a good guys

Spur

that fuzzy asshole needs to throw it to Ertz.

rockingdog
Gratliff

Ol’ Stretcher Balls Foles out there slinging

King Hippo

who’s left if/when he dies?

Gratliff

Moar Kaepernick Collusion Evidence

litre_cola

Kevin Kolb

Gratliff

Live look-in at Kolb on the bench:
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Spur

Kolb Job i believe

Spur

throw it to Ertz you asshole.

King Hippo

NO! Bad Spur!!!

Spur

Ded Eagle alert.

King Hippo

Make Ertz ded PLEAZ

King Hippo

now you assdicks better shoot up Davante with horse tranqs and get his ass back on the pitch