Your “3 Games But Only 1 Really Counts” NFL Football Open Thread

Is everything going to plan? I hope you and yours (if you’ve got a ‘yours’-I didn’t for the longest time and it was a mixed blessing) have got your shit together and are in the home stretch as far as getting organmazized. I only just now figured out that there’s no nighter tonight due to the double-header on tap tomorrow. I’ll not likely be able to catch the first one-I’ll be chained to a stove cooking my buttocks off or chained to a boring conversation having my ear chewed off. (“Do you know Fred Sassafrass? No? Let me tell you some juicy gossip about him anyway.”) I DON’T CARE! Guh. It’s the same damn thing every time. Are  the in-laws happy for someone when they do well for themselves? That would balance things out a bit. But no, that never happens. Forget about this silly tangent of mine. TO THE GAMES!

Jacksonville/San Fran:

Both have won 4 of their last 5 so it’s a bit interesting but not all that much. It’s good to see that there is life in the Niners after the acquisition of The World According to Janine Garoppolo. He’s been hitting at a 69% rate and will likely end up being the team leader in throwing yards having started a measely five whole games! He might end up being what Jerry Richardson calls “one of the good ones” but for now he’s simply hopped over a very low bar.

Seattle/Dallas: 

YAY! The “FEED ME” gesture is back and ready to make this cranky old fart toss something towards the TV tube. (not that close-she’s a beauty) With Atlanta crapping all over the field as of 3:48 EST, this game looks like a “separating the wheat from the chaff” type game. That excellent Seahawks run D you’ve heard about over the years gave up almost 250 yards vs. the Rammers last week. Oof.

New York Giants/Arizona:

Many have said that… Blech! Why bother? You’re not watching this travesty unfold.

Game on, Frenchy!

 

 

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King Hippo

holding, start warming up, Bailey

Spur

run the FUCKING BALL!

Fronkenshteen

Fuck Dak Prescott to hell. He just destroyed Elliot’s ribs. Mark my words. The Dallas Cowboys will not overcome the sham that is Dak Prescott for at least a decade. And in the process they will waste the potential of one of the best running backs the franchise will EVER see.

Doktor Zymm

I’m totally okay with that

Spur

Witten dad dicked that linebacker

Spur

Whatever happened to David Boston?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He got swole and disappeared from public consciousness

Spur

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Fronkenshteen

Kinda forcing it to Larry Fitz there, no?

King Hippo

especially up 16-zip and me protecting a fantasy lead like this

rockingdog

Looks like Jax Defense has scratched themselves.

Oh well.

Fronkenshteen

You do that, too?!?!

Spur

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King Hippo

21-15, also just fine

King Hippo

it’s important to have goals

Spur

one more drink before family time. we’re a Christmas Eve family. I think my mom and dad kept us kids up late on Christmas Eve to let them sleep in on Christmas day.

theeWeeBabySeamus

smrt

ballsofsteelandfury

Us too!! Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Spur

you as well. I love this place. keep up the site.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We’re morning, but I’ve just learned I surprisingly won’t have niece tonight.

Yay foar drunken Xmas eve masturb…..errrrrrr, movie watching.

ballsofsteelandfury

Trump and Ivanka!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hee hee.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Won’t even need headphones.

litre_cola

Dougie fuckin B!!!

Fronkenshteen

Shit! No late NFL action? What a bumm–HELLOOOOOO HAWAII BOWL!!!!!

Spur

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Pissy, prissy Jerrah is my favorite Jerrah.

rockingdog

In other news, water is wet. Fire is hot….
Baldwin gets TD’s

theeWeeBabySeamus

Better than a baxsetballing down.
I ain’t dead yet.

Spur

the defense is spent. the offense did not control the clock. the coach staff don’t even understand how this team was made

WCS

Bortles has reverted back to BORT.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Of course he has. I started him this week.

Petronel

LET’S GO NINERS

Spur

shame about that stadium.

King Hippo

The Boxcar

King Hippo

this is some legit good footballing

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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tomsellecksmoustache

Feed Dez the rock

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Endorsed

Spur

double facemask. awesome

theeWeeBabySeamus

I stopped paying attention when I saw all the Fitzgerald points I stuck on the bench this week.

King Hippo
Spur

It now or never for Dallas. Offense needs to help the Defense.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Uh, my eyes are up here Gillian.

King Hippo

man, that’s a dick move, Pokes’ assistant

King Hippo

this Garafalo gal can fuckin’ play

rockingdog

Jimmy G is ballin!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

“Wilson in Trouble” is going to be the name of my next punk band.

Spur

I like Wilsons Greatest Hits but there aren’t many. Really the guy avoids most big hits.

theeWeeBabySeamus

“Russell Wilson doing it alone”

The joke writes itself.

rockingdog

means he has to use both hands. rite?

King Hippo

well, I mean, even though he’s short ain’t nobody call him “Tiny Hands” if u noe wut I mean

Spur

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Spur

just run the ball, that’s all you need to do. Fucking Ginger coach!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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rockingdog

mad Dallas fans are MAD!

King Hippo

MOAR LIEK Dez drops another

King Hippo

es posible, did not see replay

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

His Christmas spirit is strong today.

King Hippo

15, coming right up

Spur

Shut up Dez.

King Hippo

Karma

King Hippo

fuck what a throw that was

rockingdog

da fuck? Dez with that grab….

Spur

cowboys need to go no huddle with all run plays.

King Hippo

Nobody wants to go into the Boxcar ™ no more. The Santa Clara faithful are into this shit now!

rockingdog

where is this Boxcar?

King Hippo

Santa Clara, home of the Fightin’ Tomsulas

(Janine Garafalo’s team)

King Hippo

Jaguras losing they shit

Spur

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Spur

Dallas Defense going to work. Now the love that is all and good. Just run the ball with Zeke and Smith.

Doktor Zymm

It’s the Twelve Points of Xmas! It would be inapprops for them cows to get any more

King Hippo

Thank you Jeebus, not Fitty!!!

Fronkenshteen

How many points is that from Bailey?

King Hippo

in our scoring, 20

Fronkenshteen

Mazel Tov

Spur

i hate you Hippo.

King Hippo

remember, I said I would accept a 15-14 win

Spur

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Viva La Tabula Raza

SAK SAK SAK SAK

rockingdog

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rockingdog

Looking forward to Dave Chapelles new stand up shows.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH-wCe5oAv8

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Even the Dallas cheerleaders saw OPI.

Spur

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