What wagers can I get horribly wrong today??
Gator Bowl – Louisville v. Mississippi State (Noon, ESPN)
Such a shame that Dan Mullen won’t be around for this, as would make for a great coaching matchup. Ville have been disappointing all season long, though, and I don’t see any reason why that should stop today.
Liberty Bowl – Iowa State v. Memphis (12:30, ABC)
I guess Memphis is favoured because…de facto home game? Iowa State beat Oklahoma on the road, what exactly is the Tiggers’ claim to fame, other than another Paxton Lynch clone at QB?
Fiesta Bowl – Washington v. Paedo State (4:00, ESPN)
Surprisingly (to me), the B1G is doing very, very well in exhibition play, and the PAC 12+ is falling on they faces. I…wouldn’t expect this to be the matchup that changes that narrative, as much as I would like that outcome.
Memphis just done got FUCKED by the officials…
@Hippo….Sorry I ruint yer Iowa State bet by betting it meself.
I should know betterer by now.
Oh wait….maybe not.
Further proof that things are getting worse:
Overburdened Mom: “How about these Sketchers?”
Entitled Son: “Sketchers suck!”
Past Mom: (sternly; matter-of-factly) “You know what also sucks? Wearing newspaper and duct tape on your feet. Since its my money we’re spending you can either get the Sketcher or I’ll hand you the Sunday edition and a roll of tape. You’re choice.”
Present Mom: (softly; meekly) “Okay.”
Worse? That mom fucking rules.
I present to you, the single most irritating article every written by a team of millennials.
http://highline.huffingtonpost.com/articles/en/poor-millennials/?ncid=newsltushpmgHighl__Highline__122717
The content in the article is actually decent…it is just the single most irritating layout I have ever witnessed.
You had me at HuffPo.
The ‘1994 issue of Wired’ motif. Good choice. https://archive.fo/s5wHh
last 4 min of SouthHam vs. ManU match. still 0-0….
forget challenging (even remotely) City, they’ve lost hold of 2nd now
ended 0-0.
Ticketmaster thinks I’m retarded I think (don’t say it).
I’ve got tix to Avett Bros tomorrow night. They just sent me an email for…I dunno, a reminder? But in the email they state clearly that…
smgdh
Also, they state clearly that cameras with detachable lenses are not permitted, but those without detachable lenses are permitted. We’re gonna test that theory big time when I show up with my Nikon longzoom which is not detachable.
Considering the guy who’s more or less in charge of everything PNC Arena was a childhood friend and I’ll call his ass at home if need be, I think I’ll be OK.
Finally, someone who can get decent upskirt shots of pop performers in concert.
This might not be the show for that. But I’ll try….
Texas was a mistake.
– Mexico
HAHAHAHAAHA, fuck you Pogba, offside
Best game you ever eye-balled in real time. It’s super close but this one was bananacakes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWKULiNY-VE
probably the 7 OT Ole Miss/Arkansas game when Elisha was with Johnny Reb.
Obviously I’ll mention the Giants SB win in 2007 but I should mention the Russian National team vs. the Canadiens in 1976 and the U.S. team upsetting the Russians in 1980.
1980 Miracle on Ice.
C’mon, that’s not even close. Unless you’re Canadian of a certain age, then it would be that series vs. the USSR that Scotchy cites below.
51-yd FG, in sub-zero temps. Here’s your (stupid) sign.
cold dog is cold
Me: “I’m fairly drunkefied-it must be about 3 o’clock.”
Clock: “It’s 1:50 you boozy loser.”
Me: “I had no idea that clocks could talk. Hey! That rhymes!”
Clock: [shakes his second hand]
Little known fact…..
This is how Flavor Flav happened.
TRUT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPNK0VspQ0M
Wait a sec-Lanning plays mlb for the first time in college during his senior year and ends up 1st Team All-American?
So is Lamar Jackson going to be any good in the pros? I’m thinking this is another great JV QB whose skills won’t translate over well to the NFL.
Nope. and Yep.
which team is gonna take a flyer on him?
If he falls to Bengals, them. If not, then the Oklahoma QB.
Yep, I’m getting the second coming of David Klingler or Akili Smith.
this Man U southHam match is getting good.
“Is This A Catch?”
-JV Edition
Great call!!!!!! I love video review!!!!!
I’m being sarcastic fwiw, but I’m not sad about the call.
Holy shit. The Jack Palance reference is a nice touch. https://twitter.com/TimProbable/status/808592437669150720
More immaturty from Mayfield. I call him Bakers Dozen becuz he acts like hes 13
-PFT Commentator
Roy Moore frequently grabs a baker’s dozen when he leaves the house, but he always returns empty-handed. His wife notices that he always has icing stains on his crotch, so she has put him on a diet.
I ran a marathon reaching for that second sentence.
Lamar! must be having acid flashbacks to them Iowa caucuses.
Forget cocaine. Ambien is a Hell of a drug.
as I said once, I no longer fear death because I have taken Ambien. You just blink right out like a light switch.
The weird thing is that it’s not really a sleep drug, it’s a hypnotic/memory eraser.
shutting my asshole brain off is what I need to sleep
Oh. That makes sense. I never connected that.
I used it during an earlier battle with insomnia and all I can say is I would much rather be awake.
hey, we got Microsoft Surface FOAR JV NFL too!!
Two shitty products, together at last!
Riley Ferguson is shit.
Do better, Cyclones.
I’mma just self-delude they must be a 2nd half side
I haven’t been watching too closely yet to be honest, but it looked like Memphis was moving way too easily there for a sec.
Ioway State D is givin’ ‘er.
/that series at least
GO FOR IT, ASSDICKS
Lamar! do have shitty, shitty fundamentals, though. Teebs comparable there is mos def apt, APT, ah say.
$200 on over in the U-Dub/Paedos match (53.5)
HOW COULD I POSSIBLY LOSE??
You unhappy about that USC loss last night? or have you gotten over it?
I am more annoyed they didn’t put up a fight, tOSU could have been taken with a better effort.
Or some roofies – D. Sharper
when in doubt, knock ’em out!
OHHHHHHHHH!!!klahoma, you are Hippo’s only GAMBLOR hope, please STOP acting like Mayfield ain’t gonna play.
Didn’t you say last night that because of Darnold’s performance more wold start getting “injuries” to not play?
Sommet about “hoisted by mah own petard” huh?
I didn’t realize Internet Dad hated the Telegraph website.
https://twitter.com/spindlypete/status/946595392522567681
Original source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3743289/Zzz-mail-What-happens-when-sleepwalkers-go-online.html
behold, FOAR I has approval powers.
Yeah I get some approval emails when I post. Honestly if I see it is from a normal commentist I just approve it.
YAY!
Wat the what!
The original formatting makes it even better. Does the ‘D’ after ‘XXOO’ mean those are tongue kisses? I have so many questions. We need to give her more Ambien and record everything. For uh … Posterity.
This article is nine years old and it’s still hilarious.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3743289/Zzz-mail-What-happens-when-sleepwalkers-go-online.html
Romelu Lukaku had a head injury. This seems important for Man U…….
Bring back Ibra
Lamar is going to make a great tight end at the next level.
He’s like Tim Tebow, just less stupid, but somehow less gritty and seems to have less intangible leadership[ qualities to scouts and personnel directors.
But he’s black, which somehow became a bad thing in football because everything sucks.
/insert McBane “that was the joke”
Yeah, except that it’s not a joke so much as a sad observation of reality being stupid.
hey, I am a Carlinian disciple when it comes to dark observational humour (and the principle that one can joke about ANYTHING)
Mad about my GAMBLOR, I put $50 ML on State winning in hoopsball, because I like Clemson’s coach and hate ours. Hey, +415 is nice payout.
https://vine.co/v/i55agWh3H3M (The audio makes it, but this is pretty good on its own)
I’m not going to lie. I’m cheering for Penn State later today.
/Okay. Fine. I lied.
I prefer the cool disinterest of the Honda family, thx
Something about a hundred-hand slap.
Cowbells and Tornadoes reminding me why GAMBLOR such a fickle mistress makes.
/still, HAIL GAMBLOR!!
I keep forgetting about the Disney Trump animatronic that is obviously a repurposed HIllarybot, and that makes me smile even though I hate every proper noun in this sentence.
The entire Cowbell’s O looking to the sideline for the next play to be called while at the line of scrimmage is not a good look.
//embed.redditmedia.com/widgets/platform.js
BTW, if you are interested in volunteering more for the new year, one of the most common (and commonly needed) duties at your local humane society is just walking the dogs. During winter they never have enough in the afternoon. They walk the dogs twice a day and prefer to finish in the afternoon before dusk, but because volunteers can only walk one dog at a time per volunteer they finish when they finish.
There is also socialization for the cats and small animals (birds, rabbits, gerbils and hamsters, rats, whatever comes in).
“Way to rub it in”
-Stephen Hawking
“Where do I go to volunteer? Also, what does a dog look like?”
-Helen Keller
how did you get all that from:
“avewtinjvjgdjlo[ujkjfghdp[]jbcchklvcxssazx?”
scotchnaut was Professor X the whole time!
“Hypocrites. A guy can walk a dog, but I try to teach them to free dive and I’m the bad guy.”
— Michael Vick
I’ve the thought that ‘Cowbells “R” Us’ sales will drop significantly next week.
CLANG! (repeat 1500x)
[yelling] I CAN’T HEAR WHAT YOU’RE TYPING!
Goddamn it. I was posting Rangers girls for nobody because I didn’t see this page go up.
h
ttps://s18.pixxxels.org/j2mq2cuah/b5b253b24474e0dc0aad817a010bbd80.jpg
Nice Buns!
I wasn’t sure what the policy is on body paint.
The policy is that we like it.
(and nipples have leeway when semi obscured)
Oh, I noticed. They were fantastic.
Go Bobby! How’s Jessica Dorrell these days?
Tall
At least Petrino aimed high.
Is Lamar’s game going to translate to the NFL?
Well, they adapted his limp-wristed throwing style for the javelin at the Greek Games, but they watch the footballs purty careful now ,, smh
/srs answer – NO
It took me way too long to get that joke.
actually, I take it back – I only has this’un bet moneyline, Cowbells +215. HUH. Darned pill-addled brain.
I have Iowa State both ATS (old line at +3) and ML (+160, yesterday odds)
Paedos at -2.5
Da U at +6.5 (down to 5, was as low as 4.5)
scotchy, which hoopsball matches we supposed to be watching at commercial breaks?
I’ve got Shockers/UConn, Miami (OH)/Ohio State and Wake/U*NC so far.
ugh x3
$200 on Iowa State moneyline, btw (+155)
What can I say? I’m weak.
Is this a safe place to talk about college basketball as well? There’s so much going on today…
YES! I bet $50 on UK -6 yesterday (against ‘Ville, who are an absolute shitshow) and they covered by like 27.
Bet on Cowbells +7 before remembering their QB’s leg fell off in the Egg Bowl (coo coo ka-choo) but I still like the bet.
Cowbells a ringin’ early.