Here’s your first of 11 playoff games to enjoy as the 2017/18 season begins the old wind-down. It doesn’t seem on the surface to be that sexy a tilt but one team will advance and the other will call it a day so I guess it’s got that going for it. Shall we jump in? TO THE GAME!
TITANS/CHIEFS:
KC is much like most teams in that they tend to win when they get turnovers. In their ten wins they forced 25 of them. I mention this because qb Mariota has regressed this year and has a non-sparkling 13/15 TD/Intercept ratio. It should be noted that he’s reigned in his penchant for fumbling…finally.
Injuries:
Ouchies to both A. Hunt and Thomas could mean that Tyreek Hill gets some more opportunities to touch the ball and the more he’s able to run around the more he’s likely to break a long one. On t’udder side DeMarco is gone so rb Henry will be carrying the full load. He did so last week and he kinda struggled but the talent is there.
History:
The Chiefs haven’t won a playoff game at home in 24 years. Oof. Here’s something else though-they’ve not given up more than 20 points at Arrowhead in more than a year.
Other Stuff:
The Titans have the eighth-best rushing attack in the league and the KC run D is ranked dead last. However, the latter squad really messed things up statistically during that losing slide mid-way through the sked. As it happens, Henry and Co. have been effective at runs longer than 4+ and 10+ yards according to some advanced stats I don’t fully understand.
My Hot Take(Away):
Takeaway? Get it? Who says that we at DFO don’t pander to our legions of Brit commenters? Anyboo, I figure Henry has to run for at least 125 and Mariota has to have a perfect game as far as turnovers are concerned. Much like most of the Chiefs opponents, I don’t think the Titans will be able to contain te Kelce which will in turn free up Hill.
So get with the tip-tapping down below.
Oof, Eric.
Eric Decker? Still a piece of shit.
WHAT THE FUCK DECKER??? DID YOUR HORSECOCK GET IN THE WAY????
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ERIC
Marcos Marty-Yoda
https://twitter.com/ArkansasFred/status/949766592732254209
remember when randy moss choose the tits to win this game?
And II bet on them? Yeah, good times.
I feel bad, kind of talked you into it. At least you didn’t also bet moneyline like me, they could still cover.
That’s gambling
Every NFL player enters the league with CTE.
Still not sure what all those asshole J-School alumns are using as an excuse….
How the fuck did the AFC South get a wild card? Could’ve given that second to one of the much more deserving NFC teams.
they played teams like the clots and texans twice each
You mean SEA?
I think the WC slots should go to the #2 teams in the divisions with bye week teams. Wild Card squads do jack in the post season so let’s make it fun by forcing rivals to drag along their division partners if they want the top two seeds.
I completely forgot Revis is with KC.
He’s Missouri’s most private island.
“The NFL Playoffs: The Good Games Start Next Week”
Actually the Chiefs only have two home playoff wins as a franchise. They came against Todd Marinovich and Neil O’Donnell.
Now THAT is a fine bit of fact digging. YOU CAN DO THIS, metrosexual Hawaiian dude!!
Well that quarter was about as bad as I could have hoped for.
My son just ate day old cheese off the ground. I have never been so proud.
Any left?
No but now I plan to make nachos!
Floor cheese was probably safer
FUCK work email.
excellent, mike
https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/949765249565118464
gotta love xmas ape.
Yeah – wings are good
Damn Chiefs, you scary.
Yeah, until they play the Patriots or Steelers.
I would love them to play the Pats in Foxboro again.
I always enjoy when my two least favourite teams in the NFL meet in the playoffs!!
Stupid Titans. MAKE THIS WORTH WATCHING!
I mean, if I have to flip to goddamned motherfucking Wake Forest/BC hoopsball…
This is just goddamned awful, Tits.
Truth Biscuit likes all Tits, so he disagrees.
THESE SHITTY TENNESSEE TITS LEMME TELL YEA I CALL EM THE TENNESSEE TARA REIDS
Big boy makes big throw!
“Illegal Use of Hands to the Face”. Is there a legal use of hands to the face?
yes, doing so while wearing a new england jersey
Think they are explaining it as: illegal use of hands [by going to] the face.
Got ribs in the smoker – just couple hours left. Gonna go pull out the wings now tho.
Syracuse is the stupidestfuckingshitbagloserassholefucker team of all time.
What the hell, Fuse?! You ended a Scrubs marathon in the middle of the Heather Graham episodes?! That’s evil!!!!
Rollergirl or GTFO.
New sitcom on ESPN, “Shhhh, the Star Player is Gay!”
jeff triplette is a “highly-rated” nfl official
I want proof of the statement.
Isn’t that like being “World’s Best Jizz Mopper?”
Referee: “Per NFL Rules, there is no foul for Late Hit Out-of-Bounds as the Director had cued the outro music.”
So far this playcallining for Tennessee has been all Missionary with her bra on.
That’s better than “Getting turn down by your Right Hand”.
Or catching your right hand with another man.
“A checkdown on 3rd and 20 inside your own red zone? What are you THINKING? Throw it downfield!”
– Every meathead NFL fan everywhere
oh God, I’mma need SO MUCH v-profen today.
Travis Kelce as a j-back:
spider 10 million y banana
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzJFv5X42KQ
ok, 7-minute TD drive time
The only thing that could make 15:17 to Paris more “JINGOISM 2: AMERICANS ARE SUPERIOR BOOGALOO” would be Chris Kyle showing up in a stinger with an eye patch.
Fuck Yeah! Americans in France The Movie
ok, FUCK. As a heavily vested GAMBLOR devotee, I did not like that one bit.
Wonder if Don T is watching this in the Burger King too?
LOL
trump has a bedtime cheeseburger!
I suppose it’s kind of a step up from Hasselhoff’s bathroom cheeseburger.
/Not really a silver lining.
Does it have a smoking section??
I would assume it has to.
Goddamnit Titans.
It’s almost astounding that The Good Doctor is as popular as it is, only in the way that it’s not astounding at all. A medical drama mashed up with a “he’s a genius because he’s on the spectrum” lead is like TV madlibs.
Coming up on ABC next week, “Retard Fireman”!
Followed by, “That Hairdresser Has Scoliosis!”
You haven’t had sex until you’ve received a hummer from a woman with Bell’s Palsy. I refrain from any further details.
If the Clinton impeachment taught me anything, it’s that a hummer isn’t technically “sex”.
After further review (asked the wife), that call has been overturned.
Did you lose feeling in one of your balls?
I demand a Perfect Strangers sitcom with Rain Man and Forrest Gump!
I laughed quite heartily, good sir. THANK YOU
Not nearly as bad as Grey’s Anatomy though.
Didn’t that show have ghosts at one point, too? Hell, I’d be shocked if those assholes from Big Bang Theory never ended up in that hospital at some point.
Yes, one of the main characters was having an affair with a ghost.
Basically, the only comeback menfolk have when ladyfolk point out all our dumb, horrible shit is but Grey’s Anatomy!
Show’s been on for 14 goddamn years.
Is that the episode where the brain surgeon got chlamydia from Casper?
A complete asshole with no social awareness whatsoever? They should call this show The Every Doctor.
Here’s my first dick move of the day:
Got some errands to run, glad it’s in the upper 60’s so I can finally ditch the long pants. Cargo shorts and Crocs it is!!!!
Empty backfield on 3rd and 3?? The holy tittyfuck is that shit??
Run the ball with Henry, run play action off that. You can do this Titans.
NARRATOR: They could not.
why are they allergic to give that muthafucka 25-30 touches?
no clue. Henry is a stud.
When you find out, let me know. The Bengals are killing my soul.
THESE GUYS I CALL THEM FUCKING PAUPERS BECAUSE I’M GUARANTEED 58 MILLION DOLLARS MORE THAN THE RICHEST OF THEM!
thanks to these ads, lincoln gonna disappear in about 3 years
like dude typed earlier….
its almost like these companies want me to take acid then go drive my car and see what its like
time to get Erotic!
this guy gets it!!
So feeling dirty for taking the Titans just fits.
Well, I was going to watch football to get the balls-receding-into-abdominal-cavity cold out of my mind, but the TV is showing a Wind Chill Advisory warning on the top 10% of the screen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5bfxty4M-4
But how can I watch porrrrrrrrrrrrrread for new posts?
a lot of old people complain about small graphics, despite being as large as you describe
expect it to be 20% of the screen next time
WARNING!! It COLD out there!!!
“How do we combat declining viewership and an increasingly apathetic audience?”
“I don’t know, start the 4:00 game at 4:15 and then actually start it 20 minutes after that?”
“Fuck……that’s brilliant.”
I’ve been away for far too long. How the FUCK YOU DOING BOYS?!
Stoned and tipsy, thank you for asking.
In a word: Cold.