Your “In Which We Learn That Beating The Falcons is a Foles’ Errand” NFC Playoff Game Open Thread

A hale and hearty “Hullo!” to all my fellow pigskin huffers. Boy, did you ever hunker down to the funkiest spot on the net for the football watching. Say, here’s a trivia query: “When was the last time the overall #1 seed was a home dog?” No googling! If memory serves, you’d have to all the way back to 1935 or so when the Camden Meat Maulers hosted the Decataur Drooling Horde. What happened was that the Horde’s general manager up and snuck Notre Dame’s recently-graduated triple threat quarterback Sonny “The Ukrainian Tornado” Poroshenko onto the roster thus ensuring the victory. Apparentlly, the story goes, Commissioner Judge And Jury Kenesaw Mountain Landis (his billfold bursting at the seams with a very recent infusion of sawbucks) saw nothing wrong with this cheeky maneuver. The rest we’re all very much aware of-meat was mauled, hordes drooled, the body count totaled 3 and the final 0-0 score left the crowd chanting (for the very first time) “GO, METEOR!”. Will events unfold in a similar matter today? For the answers we must go… TO THE GAME!

Atlanta/Philadelphia:

She’s gonna be a cold one for the players today-it’ll be about 20 degrees with the windchill or what Canadians would call “a day at the beach’.

Injuries:

Yeah, there’ll be a few.

Good King Wentz Is Lost:

The before-amentioned Nick Foles has quite a bit on his plate today. Them Eagles finished up 13-3 but their brand new-ish starting qb finished up 23 for 49 in their last two tilts. (That 2013 Pro Bowl appearance back in ’13 seems like a two careers ago) On third downs over that two game stretch the news doesn’t get any better-he’s 1 of 17 passing on third downs. Did I mention that he’s fumbled in each of his last three starts?

Keep An Eye Out For:

The Falcons D, per the last eight weeks of the season is a top 5 unit overall. Most impressive has been 2nd year lb Deion Jones. He’s the one that intercepted Brees in spectacular fashion to save the Falcons playoff hopes and also batted down a potential TD score while shadowing Sammy Watkins in the end zone.

My Hot Takeaway:

It’ll take some time for each offense to get going so the first one to 20 wins. Falcons over Eagles 20-13.

I’m done but you’re just getting started-“GO GO GADGET FINGERS!”

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Gratliff

ffs

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

every passing down blitz the fuck outta foles

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

We’ve replaced Nick Foles with Brock Osweiler. Let’s see if anyone notices.

Gratliff

oh god

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel like BEERGH and DOINK are fighting to control the Eagles’ destiny today.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Personally I’m rooting for DOINK.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m not sure the Patriots are a lock this year like a lot commentists seem to assume. I doubt if they can continue to come from behind or pull away in the second half after a mediocre or crappy first half like it seems they have been doing throughout the regular season. Can’t get away with that shit consistently in the playoffs.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

the rest of the nfl is complete garbage

theeWeeBabySeamus

Believe in Yinzburgh.
Until they run up against Minny’s D, at least.

LemonJello
LemonJello

The officiating crews will be sure to help see them through.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

refs bet the spread

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My dog just went outside. She didn’t say anything, but I’m pretty sure it’s because she refuses to watch Nick Foles’ terrible quarterback play.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That was funny.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Foles gonna Foles

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Foles has been possessed by Bortles.
Or he just sucks.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

lol we have another playoff game with Bortles starting lol

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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WCS

….and here come the D-cells!

Gratliff

BLEERGH for Eagles MVP

theeWeeBabySeamus

I bet Wentz could play if he really wanted to.
Pussy.

LemonJello
LemonJello

“Hey! I want two pussy!”
-Gronk

Brocky

He’s not jay cutler though, he’s the lovable guy from montana, so he gets a pass on virtually anything

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not drunk enough for this.
I also should stop betting real dough. I suck at it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pretty good drive by the Falcons there.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

That’s a pretty good post

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Wow, they made an ad in Hawaii already? That’s fast!

rockingdog
rockingdog
WCS

Trained killer? I didn’t know Matt Bryant was an Army Ranger.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

If he’s actually a trained killer, does he too get his own statue in Baltimore?

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

He’s white, so he’ll probably be elected Governor of Maryland.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No no, he said “train” killer. In his spare time he works on automotive technologies.

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

Let’s just hope he’s better than Rob Bironas.

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

This is the first time in a while where I want both teams playing in a playoff game to eat shit and die. That is, until the eventual Pats-Steelers AFC championship game airs.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

I’ve actually decided I won’t watch that game if it happens. I genuinely loathe the idea of either team winning (though it will be the Patriots).

WCS

Awww. Thanks!

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

You are very welcome.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

shutup cris

litre_cola

Foarever and always.

litre_cola

I would enjoy a Matt Schaub sighting.

WCS

Pick-sixes for everyone!

Brocky

Call me crazy…..

Could the falcons possibly be the best bet to beat the patriots in the big game, should they square off again?

Memes asaid of course

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

they’ll just blow a bigger lead

WCS

38-3 with five minutes left in the third.

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

Memes are false prophets.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is what happens when you schedule a game on the Festival of DOINK.

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

This is gonna be like watching a title fight between two double amputees.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

leg, arm, or one of each?

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

Boxing, so arms I guess.

litre_cola

For fucks sakes

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

the shitfest truly begins

Gratliff

oh my fuck

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

hilariously underthrown, hilariously shitty coverage and interference

welp…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When in doubt, I usually root for the underdog.

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Brocky

Thats clearly the over!

Gratliff

BLEEEEEEEEEEERGH

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

I bet all of these games suck and this is all just a prelude to the Patriots rolling the Vikings by 30 points int he Super Bowl.

Goddamn it why did that missile alert have to be false?

WCS

You got one part of that wrong: the Vikings will lose by shanking a 21-yard field goal as time expires. Drew commits seppuku.

Gratliff

Me most of the year: The Rocky thing is stupid. I don’t know why we do it.
Me in the playoffs: ROCKY IS ALL OF US! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Petronel
Petronel

Just tuned in to a shot of the Rocky statue – anybody got an o/u on the number of those we’ll see?

Senor Weaselo

Many?

Claymaker
Claymaker

Foles, quote, “looked the part.”

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WCS

What’s Mike Glennon doing here?

WCS

Go birds.
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Redshirt

These 2017-18 Eagles, I call them the 2015-16 Bengals because their offense was moving like a well powered machine, but then their starting QB got hurt. Now they got to play their Backup QB in the playoffs and now they are doomed! Doomed!!!

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

Is their season gonna end the exact same way?

Redshirt

I hope so. As a Bengals fan, its killing my soul to this very day.

But as a sports fan, that was hilarious.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

Last weekend had one true good game that didn’t feature one or more teams shitting the bed.

Looks like that will happen again. No way I can trust Foles, The Tits and Bort to provide good games.

Gratliff

The only good Falcons games end in collapse

Gratliff

IT BEGINS AGAIN

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Fill my Foles.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh it’s a wordplay day? My such cunning linguists around here.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Remember everyone: The Eagles must never win a Super Bowl.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

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Redshirt

“I devour worlds and planetary accessories!”

theeWeeBabySeamus

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

the nuke headed towards hawaii was a false alarm

it is headed to philly to put just about everybody out of their sports misery in more ways than one

WCS

Why not Foxborough?

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

2nd salvo, launched mid-game just to make sure of the kills

Redshirt

Radiation fallout will go to New England so they’ll suffer a slow, agonizing death.

Senor Weaselo

I mean, jubilation does put one out of their misery…

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Foles completed a pass. Wow.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, I know they’re falcons. But it was funnier with Foles.

litre_cola

You sir, get a –

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, I’m rooting for the Iggles. Even put my money down.

But the Foles joke was good. You’re a bad sport. Hehehehehe

litre_cola

I AM A BIT ON EDGE

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

You are correct, and I’m no ornithologist anyway.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Me neither.
Technically, at least.

Redshirt

Insomnia is a weird thing. Its forces you to stay up watching TV. Now, I’m starting to get into a Disney cartoon “Star vs the Forces of Evil”. Its silly but not stupid silly like other cartoons.

Also it got me to identify with a Spider with a Top Hat. That episode put me in a minor existential crisis.

Gratliff

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Gratliff

Fine. Don’t let me edit it.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

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LET’S GO BIRDS OF WAR

litre_cola

Having the Eagles in the playoffs seems strange to me. Cracked a good bottle of red, packed a bowl. LETS DO THIS.

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