Your “In Which We Learn That Beating The Falcons is a Foles’ Errand” NFC Playoff Game Open Thread

A hale and hearty “Hullo!” to all my fellow pigskin huffers. Boy, did you ever hunker down to the funkiest spot on the net for the football watching. Say, here’s a trivia query: “When was the last time the overall #1 seed was a home dog?” No googling! If memory serves, you’d have to all the way back to 1935 or so when the Camden Meat Maulers hosted the Decataur Drooling Horde. What happened was that the Horde’s general manager up and snuck Notre Dame’s recently-graduated triple threat quarterback Sonny “The Ukrainian Tornado” Poroshenko onto the roster thus ensuring the victory. Apparentlly, the story goes, Commissioner Judge And Jury Kenesaw Mountain Landis (his billfold bursting at the seams with a very recent infusion of sawbucks) saw nothing wrong with this cheeky maneuver. The rest we’re all very much aware of-meat was mauled, hordes drooled, the body count totaled 3 and the final 0-0 score left the crowd chanting (for the very first time) “GO, METEOR!”. Will events unfold in a similar matter today? For the answers we must go… TO THE GAME!

Atlanta/Philadelphia:

She’s gonna be a cold one for the players today-it’ll be about 20 degrees with the windchill or what Canadians would call “a day at the beach’.

Injuries:

Yeah, there’ll be a few.

Good King Wentz Is Lost:

The before-amentioned Nick Foles has quite a bit on his plate today. Them Eagles finished up 13-3 but their brand new-ish starting qb finished up 23 for 49 in their last two tilts. (That 2013 Pro Bowl appearance back in ’13 seems like a two careers ago) On third downs over that two game stretch the news doesn’t get any better-he’s 1 of 17 passing on third downs. Did I mention that he’s fumbled in each of his last three starts?

Keep An Eye Out For:

The Falcons D, per the last eight weeks of the season is a top 5 unit overall. Most impressive has been 2nd year lb Deion Jones. He’s the one that intercepted Brees in spectacular fashion to save the Falcons playoff hopes and also batted down a potential TD score while shadowing Sammy Watkins in the end zone.

My Hot Takeaway:

It’ll take some time for each offense to get going so the first one to 20 wins. Falcons over Eagles 20-13.

I’m done but you’re just getting started-“GO GO GADGET FINGERS!”

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Fucked up call.
So wrong. Fuck you NFL.

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

Officials are paying tribute to Jeff Tripplette the only way they know how.

Spur
Spur

Bird on bird action

litre_cola

So a shoulder is a head?

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

THROW DEM DURACELLS

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

And who ever can hit a ref gets to play qb instead of foles

Gratliff

BULLSHIT CALL

Spur
Spur

Indeed it was. I love it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh, and a belated fuck the Rams.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Falcons ball

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

MUST BE THE SEASON OF THE DOINK…

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

Butt Muff?

Gratliff

*insanely random punt bullshit happens*
Cris: SPECIAL TEAMS REALLY GETTING IT DONE TODAY

litre_cola

OK NFL fuck up this call super hard please.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Forward progress of the punt was stopped at the 19. First down Eagles?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Now it’s under review? WHAT THE FUCK WHERE YOU JUST DOING FOR THE LAST 5 MINUTES?

King Hippo

This is EXACTLY what RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! did, you couldn’t fucking coordinate it better.

Spur
Spur

Great job Philly

Fronkenshteen

I’m on Roku, so I don’t have CBS. Any free online streaming for Pats/Tits, or am I going out?

rockingdog
rockingdog

free streaming

Fronkenshteen

Noice.

Claymaker
Claymaker

r/nflstreams has got all the games in HD. The BuffStreams one usually works really well.

Spur
Spur

Go to reddit. Search for NFL streams

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, what’s the stupidest thing to do here?
OK, let’s do that!!!!!

-Iggles

King Hippo

goddamnit, these Falcons and their fucking bullshit punt oopsie luck

Spur
Spur

That hit an eagle!

litre_cola

Jesus fucking chrisdt HOLD ON TO THE BALL

theeWeeBabySeamus

You spelled “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE BALL” incorrectly.

litre_cola

I AM ANGRY

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

all the derps

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Iggles!

Gratliff

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

litre_cola

Are we sure this isn’t Terence Trent Darby’s son?

Gratliff

Matt Ryan: Bad again

King Hippo

hey, Ice Ice baby, too cold too cold!!

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

neither quarterback can throw further than 20 yards

theeWeeBabySeamus

My kinda game.

-Alex Smith

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

my favorite thing of 2018 is alex smith’s potential final pass as a chief is a deep ball

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

QUACK!

Gratliff

ALL THE DUCKS

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Not all of them went south for the winter
comment image?w=407&h=229

litre_cola

Get a big turnover here plz, or hurt Ryan, same same but different.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Time to start putting pins thru my Matt Ryan voodoo doll I guess.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Double Boint!

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

that applebees commercial makes me root for north korea

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Foles is the Assistant to the Regional Game Manager

rockingdog
rockingdog

See! Its so easy! Blount did this for the Pats last season!

Spur
Spur

Shhhh they can hear you

Spur
Spur

Come on Matty Ice

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

And now, a message from our sponsors:

comment image

Redshirt

How dare someone stole my sex doll?!

rockingdog
rockingdog

Hahaha
I’m so confused.

Redshirt

…and that GONG is another reminder that kicker was originally drafted by Mike Brown.

litre_cola

For crying out loud. What the fuck.

Oh and fuck you nbc for the boyzIImen bumper music

Gratliff

I lived in the area when that shit came out. I heard it every 14 minutes for 10 years.

litre_cola

And you aren’t up on murder charges? Grat you are a Saint.

King Hippo

FLY IGGLES FLY!!

/however slowly

//goddamnit, I have your kicker in my multiplier pool

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, was that a DOUBLE DOINK?

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

DOOOOIIIINNNNKKKK

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Nailed it!

-Blair Walsh

King Hippo

You see, THIS GUY gets Glorious Commentist Party job dedication.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Best part is it’s still funny.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You mean we don’t have to run it straight up the middle every fucking time?
Interesting.

Gratliff

guhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Petronel
Petronel

POINGGGGGGG

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

Best hand off-er in the league.

theeWeeBabySeamus

RUN THAT SAME PLAY AGAIN IT ALMOST WORKED!!!!!!

Redshirt

My god, the officials suck. This could be the first NFL Players’ Walkout where the fans are completely supportive of.

Spur
Spur

Almost completed the derp

theeWeeBabySeamus

He’s down. Shit.