Your “In Which We Learn That Beating The Falcons is a Foles’ Errand” NFC Playoff Game Open Thread

A hale and hearty “Hullo!” to all my fellow pigskin huffers. Boy, did you ever hunker down to the funkiest spot on the net for the football watching. Say, here’s a trivia query: “When was the last time the overall #1 seed was a home dog?” No googling! If memory serves, you’d have to all the way back to 1935 or so when the Camden Meat Maulers hosted the Decataur Drooling Horde. What happened was that the Horde’s general manager up and snuck Notre Dame’s recently-graduated triple threat quarterback Sonny “The Ukrainian Tornado” Poroshenko onto the roster thus ensuring the victory. Apparentlly, the story goes, Commissioner Judge And Jury Kenesaw Mountain Landis (his billfold bursting at the seams with a very recent infusion of sawbucks) saw nothing wrong with this cheeky maneuver. The rest we’re all very much aware of-meat was mauled, hordes drooled, the body count totaled 3 and the final 0-0 score left the crowd chanting (for the very first time) “GO, METEOR!”. Will events unfold in a similar matter today? For the answers we must go… TO THE GAME!

Atlanta/Philadelphia:

She’s gonna be a cold one for the players today-it’ll be about 20 degrees with the windchill or what Canadians would call “a day at the beach’.

Injuries:

Yeah, there’ll be a few.

Good King Wentz Is Lost:

The before-amentioned Nick Foles has quite a bit on his plate today. Them Eagles finished up 13-3 but their brand new-ish starting qb finished up 23 for 49 in their last two tilts. (That 2013 Pro Bowl appearance back in ’13 seems like a two careers ago) On third downs over that two game stretch the news doesn’t get any better-he’s 1 of 17 passing on third downs. Did I mention that he’s fumbled in each of his last three starts?

Keep An Eye Out For:

The Falcons D, per the last eight weeks of the season is a top 5 unit overall. Most impressive has been 2nd year lb Deion Jones. He’s the one that intercepted Brees in spectacular fashion to save the Falcons playoff hopes and also batted down a potential TD score while shadowing Sammy Watkins in the end zone.

My Hot Takeaway:

It’ll take some time for each offense to get going so the first one to 20 wins. Falcons over Eagles 20-13.

I’m done but you’re just getting started-“GO GO GADGET FINGERS!”

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Gratliff
Member

Moar of this pls

fleshwound_NPG
Member
fleshwound_NPG

foles looks too competent right now

rockingdog
Member
rockingdog

911: 911 what’s your emergency
ME: I’m stuck in a Pringles can
911: just relax your hand and pull it out
ME: hand?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

“Yeah but I don’t want to let go of the pringles.”

– Andy Reid

WCS
Member

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Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

“With me that’s physically impossible, unless it’s one of those grab n’ go cans.”
– Most of the male commentariat

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

They make 56 ml cans of Pringles?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I think Foles needs more Smallwood

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

What dumb marketing exec thinks these commercials are going to get people to buy their products? Oh who am I kidding, these people probably know there are hundreds of millions of empty-headed fucks who are gullible enough to buy their products based on their shitty commercials.

WCS
Member

DILLY DILLY

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I can’t bring myself to like this, but you are correct

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Do you think if they replaced this game with a rebroadcast of last week’s Jaguars/Bills game anyone would notice the difference?

fleshwound_NPG
Member
fleshwound_NPG

passes are somewhat in the general vicinity of WRs in this game

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Foles has really got settled in. Isn’t that right, Chris?

King Hippo
Member

it’s a nice homage

rockingdog
Member
rockingdog

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Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Brady’s football?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Fun fact: Amari Cooper and Sammy Watkins were drafted higher (4th overall) than Julio Jones (6th overall).

Fronkenshteen
Member

I can’t believe these guys ( in all sports) are swigging this Gatorade shit down during games. They might as well drink Mountain Dew.

litre_cola
Member

Mountain Dew original isn’t healthy?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

No, it doesn’t have enough nanobubbles.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

No gotz what plants crave?

Gratliff
Member

Julio is so fucking annoying to play against

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

“Nigel Bradham” sounds like a parody of a British name.

fleshwound_NPG
Member
fleshwound_NPG

Rodger Bum

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

Matt Ryan: ELiTe QuaTErbAcK

litre_cola
Member

I wish, Chris, you could show America how you shut the fuck up.

rockingdog
Member
rockingdog

Is that why I like Tony Romo more than this Collinsworth guy? Cause Tony Romo doen’t talk as much?

litre_cola
Member

I think when Tony talks he doesn’t only do it to hear his own voice. I really like him as an announcer and I hate teh Cowboys.

Redshirt
Member

Romo talks like a fan, like he’s sitting on a couch next you holding a beer.

Collinsworth talks down to you and has favorite players who can’t do no wrong.

Fronkenshteen
Member

/dons poncho
//applies ski goggles
///straps on athletic supporter

Actually, I miss Phil Simms

Fronkenshteen
Member

I’d love to see Ajayi get 20+ carries from here on in.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

For some reason I really dislike him.

litre_cola
Member

I did too. Now I am forced to like him. At least he isnt a felon. Sad I have to say that.

King Hippo
Member

I’d like to see Dakota Jeebus out there on a Rascal

Fronkenshteen
Member

Fack.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Nationwide ads don’t suck as much when Peyton Manning isn’t in them. I mean, they still suck just not as much.

King Hippo
Member

I went with Tits +14 for $55, but to spread the risk, took their team over (17.5) for $105. I reckon even if the Pats ass blast ’em, it will involve garbage time scoring.

King Hippo
Member

also an extra $145 on N’Awlins, I really can’t imagine that fixture not being within a FG either way

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

And now another word from our sponsors:

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Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

Get a load of Collinsworth cumming in his slacks over a Matt Ryan four yard completion.

Redshirt
Member

He’s been edging/watching Tom Brady film all week. He’s, um, at the red line from release, if you know what I mean.

Gratliff
Member

Matt Ryan looks incredibly derpy trying to do a Russel Wilson impression

King Hippo
Member

one could say it’s a pale imitation

Gatoraids
Member
Gatoraids
litre_cola
Member

Hey new guy, I appreciate you being here but not the message.

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

Andy Reid is hungry, and not just for a cheesesteak. He’s also hungry for Spare Ribs, Bacon, New York Strip, Buffalo Wings, Glazed Doughnuts, cheesecake, and ham.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Steaks, whole pigs, goats, lambs, waffle fries, cheese fries, chili fries, sweet potato fries (they’re healthier), tempura everything

fleshwound_NPG
Member
fleshwound_NPG

rhinos, elephants, lions, tigers, bison, giraffes, kangaroos

Redshirt
Member

Jurassic World II: Andy Reid’s Visit

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Andy Reid thinks zoos are just uncooked buffets

Gatoraids
Member
Gatoraids

Andy hoping for future of edible delivery drones that just fly into mouth

King Hippo
Member

Tits are now FULL 14 point dogs. Saints up to 5.5. Considering MOAR ACTION!!

litre_cola
Member

Never enough action for you. 1st the strippers, now this.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

I’d take the TITS at +21.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Yep, saw that.
Considering the Tits to cover.

Always a good thing to hope foar, btw

litre_cola
Member

Do it for Don T!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Gotta wait to see how this one plays out first.
Unlike Hippo, I don’t have an unlimited supply of winnings to draw from.

Because I usually lose.

King Hippo
Member

hey, I only ahead like $350

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Goddamn ‘dem Rams.

King Hippo
Member

and Okies

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Oh right. I forgot about that one.
Maybe that’s why I keep betting….bad memory.

Redshirt
Member

I never thought I would say this but:

Hands off the Tits. I think they’ll disappoint you.

Redshirt
Member

I liked watching the Trump Book author on CNN.

CNN Guy: “I liked the book.”
Author: “Thank you.”
CNN Guy: “I do have some issues and criticisms.”
Author: “YOU CAN’T JUDGE ME!”

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Neat

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Redshirt
Member

Proof that God hasn’t forgiven the Falcons for the Super Bowl collapse.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

Shitty football is ok if the score remains close. In fact, it’s kind of amusing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Interesting point by Audi. Seems like traffic jams actually would be one of the easiest situations for self-driving cars to manage.

rockingdog
Member
rockingdog

Bahahaha 3 points!

fleshwound_NPG
Member
fleshwound_NPG

seriously fuck all georgia sports teams forever

King Hippo
Member

holy fuckballs, he MADE IT!

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

HALF TIME!

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King Hippo
Member

as a recluse who hasn’t had non-courtesan intercourse in 4+ years…TOTES accurate!!

fleshwound_NPG
Member
fleshwound_NPG

nobody has ever been laid while owning a pt crusier

rockingdog
Member
rockingdog

Truth

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

The crying Lady Liberty is a nice touch.

fleshwound_NPG
Member
fleshwound_NPG

Alshon Jeffery has been discovered by Nick Foles…with :01 left in 2nd

Spur
Member
Spur

Foles doesn’t need corrective eye surgery or anything right?

King Hippo
Member

This should be hilarious

Gratliff
Member

No way in hell in this wind

Gratliff
Member

THE REVERSE JINX MOTHERFUCKER

rockingdog
Member
rockingdog

Alright, what was the over under on this game again?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Amateur.
– M. Mariota

King Hippo
Member

Julio’s in!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

– Julio’s wife and/or girlfriend

litre_cola
Member

LOOK AT THE SIZE DIFFERENCE!!!! THROW IT TO ALSHON FOR FUCK SAKES

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

You’re asking too much of him.

fleshwound_NPG
Member
fleshwound_NPG

either team gonna get killed next week

King Hippo
Member

I can’t even…

WCS
Member

Just like they drew it up.

rockingdog
Member
rockingdog

Whooooo Deflection
Bahahahaha!

Spur
Member
Spur

Stupid falcon had the int

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

They are murdering the sport of Football.

WCS
Member

Hahahahhhahaha

Gratliff
Member

I don’t know anymore. What is anything.

litre_cola
Member

Well that will work.

fleshwound_NPG
Member
fleshwound_NPG

BWHAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

The Gang Attempts a 1 Minute Drive

Gratliff
Member

This is all just incredibly stupid

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Evergreen

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