Your “In Which We Learn That Beating The Falcons is a Foles’ Errand” NFC Playoff Game Open Thread

A hale and hearty “Hullo!” to all my fellow pigskin huffers. Boy, did you ever hunker down to the funkiest spot on the net for the football watching. Say, here’s a trivia query: “When was the last time the overall #1 seed was a home dog?” No googling! If memory serves, you’d have to all the way back to 1935 or so when the Camden Meat Maulers hosted the Decataur Drooling Horde. What happened was that the Horde’s general manager up and snuck Notre Dame’s recently-graduated triple threat quarterback Sonny “The Ukrainian Tornado” Poroshenko onto the roster thus ensuring the victory. Apparentlly, the story goes, Commissioner Judge And Jury Kenesaw Mountain Landis (his billfold bursting at the seams with a very recent infusion of sawbucks) saw nothing wrong with this cheeky maneuver. The rest we’re all very much aware of-meat was mauled, hordes drooled, the body count totaled 3 and the final 0-0 score left the crowd chanting (for the very first time) “GO, METEOR!”. Will events unfold in a similar matter today? For the answers we must go… TO THE GAME!

Atlanta/Philadelphia:

She’s gonna be a cold one for the players today-it’ll be about 20 degrees with the windchill or what Canadians would call “a day at the beach’.

Injuries:

Yeah, there’ll be a few.

Good King Wentz Is Lost:

The before-amentioned Nick Foles has quite a bit on his plate today. Them Eagles finished up 13-3 but their brand new-ish starting qb finished up 23 for 49 in their last two tilts. (That 2013 Pro Bowl appearance back in ’13 seems like a two careers ago) On third downs over that two game stretch the news doesn’t get any better-he’s 1 of 17 passing on third downs. Did I mention that he’s fumbled in each of his last three starts?

Keep An Eye Out For:

The Falcons D, per the last eight weeks of the season is a top 5 unit overall. Most impressive has been 2nd year lb Deion Jones. He’s the one that intercepted Brees in spectacular fashion to save the Falcons playoff hopes and also batted down a potential TD score while shadowing Sammy Watkins in the end zone.

My Hot Takeaway:

It’ll take some time for each offense to get going so the first one to 20 wins. Falcons over Eagles 20-13.

I’m done but you’re just getting started-“GO GO GADGET FINGERS!”

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rockingdog
rockingdog

Iggles defense needs to be kick ass!

WCS

(75-yard catch and run by Julio Jones ensues)

rockingdog
rockingdog

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

/clears throat

FILL MY FOLES

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

“Fake news” is such a tired phrase. It’s already been run into the Earth’s mantle.

WCS

So does 90% of Twitter.

Wakezilla

It’s a vague term that means nothing, and therefore is dangerous. I’d love it to be retired, but, governments are starting to realize how powerful fake news is to suppress the masses

Gratliff

Hoo ballsy

King Hippo

ah like it

King Hippo

18-15? Scorigami??

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Nope. It happened in September.

King Hippo

16-15?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Nope.

King Hippo

goddamnit

WCS

Foles pick-six, comin’ right up!

Spur
Spur

Philly sure is waiting a long time to fumble the ball.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Commercial break time!

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King Hippo

Where is ICRM? Could we get Glorious Scorigami if we go to OT at 18-18?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

18-18 has never happened by 21-18 and 24-18 have.

King Hippo

Too bad we cannot have playoff draws

Senor Weaselo

We need the “rocks fall everyone dies” kinds of draws.”

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I straight up forgot the game was on.

And it looks like no neither team showed the fuck up…

WCS

You haven’t missed much. Believe us.

Gratliff

Death by a million cuts. Fuck you, Atlanta. This is for last February

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

Needs to be a billion

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Hmm. When I’m in Atlanta all it usually takes is one.”

– Ray Lewis

rockingdog
rockingdog

Alright Iggles, dont cock this up…

King Hippo

“Hold our beer” – Entire City

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

who are you and what have you done with nick foles

King Hippo

How tWBS could lose his bet – goes to OT at 18-18

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: Agholor is a creature in Dungeons & Dragons that was created when a wizard cross-bred a hag and a whore.

King Hippo

/no ofence

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

They’re called Strumpets, you filthy pleb.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t remember where I saw it (Dungeon Master’s Guide?), but I once encountered a list of the different types of prostitute your character could run into.

Gratliff

NELSON AGHOLOR, WHOM I HAVE NEVER SAID A SINGLE ILL WORD ABOUT

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That one Ertz the Falcons

/shows self out

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, DOINK, time to do something to make this watchable. Please?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why are the Eagles running the ball like they’re up 28-3?

King Hippo

Nick. Foles.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

fuck either team, but i’m okay with a useless georgia sports team exiting a playoff

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Prediction: next time he touches the ball Ajayi will fumble.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nuts. Already wrong.

King Hippo

Have you considered heeding the sweet siren song of GAMBLOR??

Gratliff

Solid tackling

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

Eagles with the lead, 4th quarter

[foles throws deep]

oh

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

The Loser’s owner has to smelt down the Rocky statue, turn a piece of it into a ten inch dildo, and shove the whole thing up their ass.

Spur
Spur

Someone has to win this shitshow.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Four teams. Many years. Nine titles.

WCS

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Gratliff

Eagles scratching and clawing to get to the NFC Championship, the graveyard for so many good Eagles before them

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

The power lines that are the NFC Championship Game.

King Hippo

I mean, you have to think NO CHANCE but maybe NO wins but Breesus gets a head owie?

Gratliff

I like them better against Minny in a defensive battle, even if Minny has the edge there. Brees is going to throw haymakers all day that I expect the Eagles corners to take on the chin all day long.

King Hippo

ATL should go FOAR it

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

Well someone has to stumble ass backwards into a win.

King Hippo

I actually like this match in the 2nd half. Has matured into a defensing battle.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

If by “matured” you mean “deserves a silver alert”, I agree.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You’d think I’d be *excited* about a game that is going into the fourth quarter with a score difference of just a point.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, wait, two points.

WCS

If you’re over the age of five, and dumb enough to eat detergent, you deserve to die.

King Hippo

ABSOLUTELY! no Obamacare neither

Redshirt

Yes! Enough with all the protections and lawsuits. If you believe in Evolution, you must let Natural Selection play itself out.

King Hippo

see, we’re not THAT touchy-feely liberal! We are all rationalists here.

/Fuck the P*ts

Redshirt

In the RB’s defense, he’s spent his entire football life being taught to juke and avoid the defense player. He did an excellent job avoiding the blitzer.

King Hippo

also, mad propz to tWBS’ under bet. RESPEK!

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

That was a great blitz

King Hippo

Iggle D has come up YUUUUUUUUGE

WCS

For BLEERGH’s sake..

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Are we sure this is professional football?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Any chance this game is at least relevant for scorigami?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Spotify is trying to get me to listen to a band called Rainbow Kitten Surprise.

Song’s not bad but sounds like a character on Redshirt’s thingy.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Again, what was the over/under for this game?
like 35 right?

King Hippo

41.5!

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

Really, what the Fuck!?

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Ajayi flipper hands shows that part of him remains a dolphin

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

winning the game with all FGs would be a Foles thing to do

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They had a touchdown; extra point was missed.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

[checks box score, still not sure foles led a td drive]

King Hippo

now they don’t have the wind for the kickoff, dum-dums

Redshirt

Okay. If your receiver is rolling on the ground, ass in the air and if you throw it to the ground in front of his ass you should be flagged for Intentional Grounding.

rockingdog
rockingdog

I found another funny:

2012: cinnamon challenge
2014: ice bucket challenge
2018: laundry pod challenge
2023: guillotine challenge

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

2050: Neutron Bomb challenge

Redshirt

2077: Grandfather’s Paradox Challenge

Redshirt

Funny thing is, I work in a place that makes something like the pods. They are literally drinking detergent, fabric softener and bleach.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Can they just call this game at the end of the third quarter?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Are Philly fans mispronouncing Alshon’s last name yet? That’s how you know they respect him as much as Bears fans.

King Hippo

handoff, FG comin’ right up

King Hippo

they are doing a good job playing to Foles non-glaring weaknesses