A hale and hearty “Hullo!” to all my fellow pigskin huffers. Boy, did you ever hunker down to the funkiest spot on the net for the football watching. Say, here’s a trivia query: “When was the last time the overall #1 seed was a home dog?” No googling! If memory serves, you’d have to all the way back to 1935 or so when the Camden Meat Maulers hosted the Decataur Drooling Horde. What happened was that the Horde’s general manager up and snuck Notre Dame’s recently-graduated triple threat quarterback Sonny “The Ukrainian Tornado” Poroshenko onto the roster thus ensuring the victory. Apparentlly, the story goes, Commissioner Judge And Jury Kenesaw Mountain Landis (his billfold bursting at the seams with a very recent infusion of sawbucks) saw nothing wrong with this cheeky maneuver. The rest we’re all very much aware of-meat was mauled, hordes drooled, the body count totaled 3 and the final 0-0 score left the crowd chanting (for the very first time) “GO, METEOR!”. Will events unfold in a similar matter today? For the answers we must go… TO THE GAME!
Atlanta/Philadelphia:
She’s gonna be a cold one for the players today-it’ll be about 20 degrees with the windchill or what Canadians would call “a day at the beach’.
Injuries:
Yeah, there’ll be a few.
Good King Wentz Is Lost:
The before-amentioned Nick Foles has quite a bit on his plate today. Them Eagles finished up 13-3 but their brand new-ish starting qb finished up 23 for 49 in their last two tilts. (That 2013 Pro Bowl appearance back in ’13 seems like a two careers ago) On third downs over that two game stretch the news doesn’t get any better-he’s 1 of 17 passing on third downs. Did I mention that he’s fumbled in each of his last three starts?
Keep An Eye Out For:
The Falcons D, per the last eight weeks of the season is a top 5 unit overall. Most impressive has been 2nd year lb Deion Jones. He’s the one that intercepted Brees in spectacular fashion to save the Falcons playoff hopes and also batted down a potential TD score while shadowing Sammy Watkins in the end zone.
My Hot Takeaway:
It’ll take some time for each offense to get going so the first one to 20 wins. Falcons over Eagles 20-13.
I’m done but you’re just getting started-“GO GO GADGET FINGERS!”
Gotta sneak it.
no td
FolesFumbreRecoveryDown?
That was the Folesiest touchdown of all time.
In that it won’t actually be a touchdown?
huh
FOHHHH-les TD
lolwut
Derpdown, Eagles
Oh hey. Thomas Jefferson’s rapping in commercials now.
Was it directed by Michael Bay?
I read that as raping.
No, he already did that part.
It’s what the kids like
Come on Eagles fumble that ball. Get Foles more involved
THIS GUY FRANK REICH I CALL HIM HENRIK IBSEN CAUSE THAT PLAY DESIGN WAS ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.
iPhone commercials should be tried at The Hague for crimes against humanity.
Run it. you got Blount guys!
Now that’s how you do a WR run. Not running to the sideline and turning a slow corner while the defense catches you; just making a hole and getting the ball up field before the defense realizes what’s up.
Just fucking score.
When did Andy Reid become defensive coordinator for the Falcons
I mean, I don’t have any real reason to use Andy Reid jokes with Atlanta, but come on.
Come on eagles! put it in for 6!
TRICKY IGGLES
IGGLEA DOING THE FUCKING THING
All part of the plan to raise your hopes before the crushing defeat
The Seed 2.0 was a good ass song.
The gang was able to complete a pas! yea!
Hey Ajayi…good job. But don’t go getting all hyped up on yourself that you fucking cough it up again.
Act like you been there before and take care of bidness, pinhead.
I don’t think he’s ever been there before.
Neither have I. But if I was as big of a fumble risk as him, I’d sure as shit figure out how to act like it.
Before Today: “Hey! True Lies is on!”
After reading that Eliza Dushku was assaulted by the stunt coordinator at the age of 12: “Aw. I’ll never like True Lies the same way again.”
True Lies is still a cool movie.
I didn’t say it wasn’t. I’ll just reassure my self that Dushku was still able to have a moderately successful career and that toe scum eater who took advantage of a 12-year old is out of the industry and has first class accommodations ready for him in Hell.
I forgot how young she was when they made that. Ick.
Can run and can stop the run. YOu know it matters, Grat. Stop being a panicky asshole.
https://frinkiac.com/meme/S04E19/489238/m/IFRIQVQnUyBSSUdIVC4gSQogTElLRSBUSEUgSUdHTEVTLg==
The Dark web is clearly not dark because it’s most likely covered in jizz.
Shitty web
Yeah. The Dark Web is a nasty place to come into.
The Gang Completes A Pass
Way to be hiv positive
Ajayi with the Erotic Smashmouth!
Listen, I’m not gonna judge you for playing “All-Star” in the bedroom, but… wait no, that’s exactly what I’m doing.
It depends on what he’s doing. If he’s going on a date with Rosie Palms, judge away.
Are you watching, Falcons?
THIS IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE A GIGANTIC SECOND HALF LEAD.
Carson Wentz takes that option 40 yards
the iggles look good when foles does nothing
Ajayi is good again
mikaela shiffrin
yes.
I can get on board that….errrrrr, I mean with that.
THIS EAGLES OFFENSE I CALL THEM RAMSAY BOLTON, BECAUSE THEY ARE BRUTALLY TORTURING THEIR FANS INTO SUBMISSION.
Hodor
“This is a cluster from the beginning.”
Okay, we are clearing living in the End Times because Collinsworth is starting to make sense.
“It may have been delay of game…I dunno”
That’s because you’re drunk and stupid, Al. Jeebus.
so much stupidity in the modern nfl
It totally make sense that they delay the game to announce a delay of game penalty.
Oy vey
HORSESHIT. LET THEM DECLINE
Go for it
LOVE THAT COX
Huge on that play
YUGE
I see the Philly fucks are off to a shitty start. Excellent.
Wide open Julio Jones. God fuck damn.
Well YOU try covering him.
Okay, so my dog just came back inside the instant the Eagles punted. I was kidding before, but now I’m not so sure.
Folks
No, it’s spelled “Foles”.
On a related note, how crazy is it that there’s a quarterback named “Foles” and a quarterback named “Fales” and they are both terrible.
No, it’s spelled “Fails”
FOHHHH-les
The Falcons defense is basically every bully-toady pair that picked on Nick Foles’ during elementary school with the old push-from-in-front-while-someone-is-kneeling-behind combination.
It’s called table-topping, sheesh.
Stupid nerd showing off his vocabulary…
10-year olds trying to get each other during Little League summer games! And then we’d play Manhunt because it got dark!
“Hey guys, let’s see if we can get Rikki to violate his Aaron Rodgers resolution by giving him the easiest setups imaginable!” – Senor Weaselo
– R. Moore
I’ll take “Things Andy Reid calls the Golden Corral buffet” for $600.
“Real people, not actors. Shitty actors.”
Are there any Falcons fan Commentists? Or is it all Grat and Whyeagleswhy today?
Hi actual human I met….
Shit, I forgot you’re an Iggles fan. Probably because you’re a Canuck.
I don’t think there’s a single NFC South commentist.
Its all ESS EEE SEE, all the time, PAWWWLLLL.
it’ll be an all-SEC NFC title game (ATL/NO)
Yep. It’s no coinky dink I did two of their previews/bye weeks.
The closest we got is DJ Taj?
Right. I forgot about that guy.
He doesn’t like the Saints?
I meant to an NFC South Commentist, should’ve specified.