DFO University – Drugs 3: An Introductory Course

tWBS:  Good morning, Class.

Class (half asleep):  Good morning, Seamus.

tWBS:  Hey, that’s…  Professor Seamus  to you!!!!

Class (fully asleep):  *snoring*

tWBS:  OK, fine.  But just so you know, today we’re talking about drugs.

tWBS:  Oh, now I’ve got your attention, huh?  But please, save your questions until the end.  And Miss Spears?  Please try to pay attention this time…

….Also, I’ll happily take your  questions privately, in my office, after class.  Yes, you can definitely bring your friends too.

….No, not the guys!!!!

***

Today we’re going to have a brief-ish overview of drugs.  This is an introductory course.  And for our purposes here, we’re going to restrict this lesson to “psychoactive” drugs.  That is to say, drugs which produce a “high” in one form or another.  We’re not going to go into antibiotics (though God knows some of you nasty bastards could use that  knowledge…see me after class) or contraceptives (I promised Philip Rivers I wouldn’t)…. or any other myriad drug classes.  If you’ve got a cardio/hypertension/kidney issue, and your Angiotensin II is causing you problems and you need advice on your ACE Inhibitor dosage?  Again….  see me after class.

Wake up Miss Spears!!!!!!  This is about getting high!!!!!

There she is.  Good girl.

OK, in all seriousness, there are several different systems used to classify psychoactive substances depending upon whom you ask.  And frankly, none of those systems is perfect.  Mostly because each and every substance is an entity unto itself, different from every other.  And also with differing effects in each individual.  But for simplicity, we’ll have to to do it this way….

Stimulants

This includes things like Cocaine (Coke, Crack, Rock), Amphetamines (Crystal Meth, Crank, Bennies, Uppers) and MDMA (Ecstasy, X, Mollies, Skittles).

Generally speaking, these drugs accelerate both the activity in the central nervous system, and one’s metabolic rate in general.  They tend to increase energy and awareness.  They can make one feel more alert and more focused.  The problem with these drugs is two-fold, however.

For some people, the effect they bring is extremely euphoric.  To a frightening degree, almost.  While sadly, their duration of effect is generally short-lived.  Thus the vicious cycle begins.  Tolerance kicks in, and then one needs to ingest increasing dosages more and more frequently to reach the same high.

Then you die.

The other problem with these drugs is that they can enhance negative behaviours as well.  What I mean by that is that many people on these drugs become paranoid and angry.  That, in combination with the central nervous system being overstimulated, can become very difficult for the people around them.  ie…people on these drugs often act like violent assholes.

I’ve personally never tried Meth or X.  Nor will I.  Ever.  But that shit can kill you on the first try.  Especially X.  People don’t realize how much that raises your metabolic rate.  If you’re doing X, drink a shitload of water.  No shit.

And while I’ve never smoked the rock, I have done the (very) occasional line of coke from time to time.  Snorting coke never really did much for me to be honest.  For me at least, it’s not worth the money.

Other popular stimulants of abuse are those such as Adderall, Vyvanse or the like.  Technically still in the amphetamines family, these are a little different chemically however.  Most often prescribed for kids with ADHD or for people with narcolepsy, they’ve become very popular for folks who just don’t have time to sleep enough.  Their paradoxical calming effects in kids with ADHD makes them very useful there when properly prescribed.  But in adults who don’t have narcolepsy, they’re nothing more than a crutch.  They are unfortunately very easy to come by, and when abused to a high enough degree can be very damaging to the nervous system or the cardiovascular system.

Nicotine and Caffeine also fall into the class of stimulants.  But for now we’ll gloss over those because we have to save time to talk about the good drugs.  What are the good drugs????

Depressants!!!!!

Now we’re talking.  Professor Seamus really likes the depressants.  But still, let’s be organized about this.

MISS SPEARS!!!!  STOP THAT!!!!!!

I promise I brought enough for the whole class.  There’s no need for that.  Yet.  Please button your shirt back up.  Until later at least.

*ahem*

Most of the rest of the “drugs of abuse” are depressants.  But they are not all created equal, so we’re going to further break them down into sub-categories and we’ll do this in a pro vs con fashion…more or less.

Opiates/Opioids

(Heroin, Oxycontin, Vicodin, etc)

Pro:  They’re awesome!!!!  Physically and emotionally/mentally relaxing.  Most often prescribed for pain control, but some also for cough suppression.  Recreationally speaking, they’re one of my favorites.  Though it’s been awhile, quite frankly.  Perhaps I should bash my ugly face into the pavement again?  For some people, the euphoria produced is very pleasant.  I happen to be one of those people, FWIW.

Con:  Addictive.  Very addictive for some people.  Tolerance can build quickly and then sometimes you get into that “Then you die” territory without even knowing it.  Opioids suppress the respiratory centers of the brain.  And while the same building of tolerance does reduce this effect to some degree on a dose dependent scale, just like it does with the “high” itself, it’s not an equal reduction.  This is why there are so many Opiate/Opioid related overdose deaths.  Sad but true.

Benzodiazepines

(Valium, Xanax, Ativan, etc)

Pros:  Generally used for their calming effects/muscle relaxation.  Useful for anxiety disorders for many people.  Also helpful as a sleep aid for severe sleep disorders.  Can be used for treatment of seizure disorders as well, though usually either in conjunction with other anti-seizure medications, or in injectable form in medical facilities during actual seizure events (status epilepticus it’s called, btw).  They can also be very useful when one is withdrawing from alcohol (which is really just an extension of their relaxation/anti-seizure effects)

Cons:  Much like Opiates/Opioids, these can be very addictive.  Tolerance can build quickly without the user even realizing it.  Also like the Opiates/Opioids, these suppress respiratory function in the brain, but also suppress the muscles which make us breathe.  DO NOT EVER TAKE THESE WITH ALCOHOL.  Also, for some people, these drugs can have the exact opposite effect intended.  Another paradoxical reaction thingy.  Which is to say for some people, they can cause increased anxiety and agitation.  When that happens it is not pleasant for the user or the people around them.  Trust me on this, I know from where I speak.  Don’t fuck around with these recreationally.  If your doctor prescribes them, take them as directed on the label.  And like I said already, no alcohol with these please.

Hallucinogens

(LSD, Peyote, Shrooms, etc)

Pros:  Not many.  Some people enjoy the effect of not being themselves for a little while I suppose.  But that’s kinda the point, you’re not yourself and you have no control more or less.  And the effects last a long time relatively speaking.  If you decide to do any hallucinogen, make sure you’re in a safe environment and that you don’t have to go anywhere for the next 12-24 hours.  The only Hallucinogen I’ve ever done is shrooms on a couple of occasions, and I did a “pussy” dose each time.  And I was still righteously fucked up the next day.

Cons:  See above.

Inhalants/Huffing

(Paints, Volatile liquids/gases, Pretty much anything in an aerosol can)

Pros:  Absolutely none.  Do not do this.

Cons:  It will kill your brain quickly.  Do not do this.

Dissociatives

(PCP, Special K)

Pros:  Again, recreationally speaking….none.

Cons:  Just don’t do it.  Being in the profession I’m in, I have easy access to Ketamine (Special K) which is used in Veterinary Medicine as an anesthesia/tranquilizer in cats and horses most commonly.  When it got popular as a recreational drug (and after my clinics had been burglarized repeatedly in attempts to steal it) I got curious.  And I tried it.  I DO NOT recommend it.  It was quite unpleasant.  Since then, I have also never dosed a cat or a horse with only  Ketamine, but have taken to the habit of adding other anesthetics to the mix in an attempt to reduce their negative experience as well during recovery.  I mean if I’m cutting their balls off, the least I can do is not give them a bad trip in the process.  Right?

Other Depressants….

Alcohol

If you don’t think of alcohol as a drug, then you need to think again.  This is not a judgement, FWIW.  I drink a lot.  Way more than I should sometimes.  But Alcohol is the most abused drug on the planet.  And in excess, it is very damaging to the body and psyche.  In extreme excess doses (alcohol poisoning) it will also shut down the respiratory centers in your brain and you will die.  I’m not saying don’t do it.  I’m saying do it in moderation.  Your liver will thank you later.  And if anyone around you tells you that you might have a problem with alcohol, then you probably do.

At least consider the possibility before dismissing it out of hand.

Cannabis

Second after alcohol as far as worldwide (ab)use.  The difference being that it’s not legal in most jurisdictions like alcohol.  Ironically, it’s also less damaging to the body and much less addictive.

Everyone here knows I love weed.  I’ve talked about it before.  And in future courses here at the university, it will get talked about more in depth again, as will some of the others I’ve touched on here.

But for now all I’ll say is this….

If I had to choose one recreational drug, and only one, to have readily available for the rest of my life when I so desired to have such a thing; and weighing all of the pros and cons of all of these substances….including addiction, physical and mental effects, and potential negative effects long term to the body…?

Weed would be the hands down winner.  For me personally, at least.

But as I said at the outset, everyone is different.  And the effects of all of these drugs affect everyone differently.  Just do me one favor?  If you’re going to use/abuse any of these substances, at least educate yourselves about what it is you’re using.  It could save your lives.

Class Dismissed!!!!

Miss Spears….

…Follow me…..I’ve got a joint with your name on it.

I also have some Marijuana.

(get it?)

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
Subscribe
Notify of
129 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

[…] arguments. You’ve made your lifestyle choice, and so have I. Besides, I am blessed with esteemed colleagues better able to teach you what you’re doing […]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Gratliff

My son’s Vyvanse prescription costs me $80 out of pocket every month and there’s no generic until 2023. Fuck you, Vyvanse.

rockingdog
King Hippo

Speaking of opiates. it’s Tussionex Time!

/I really do need it. I have the cough an 82-year old 2-pack a day smoker would envy

//wonder if this will help me with GAMBLOR??

Ended up betting like 7 games yesterday, went 2-5 but still finished up ahead by $50, thanks to weighting of Xavier ML and Boise State -1.5 (they won by 2, on their only lead of the 2nd half).

King Hippo

Yeah, I saw that this am. Some suspiciously low lines trigger a warning voice in the back of my head. On my book, it was down to 7 at tip and woulda been a push. Saw that Bloodeyes was ahead when I fell asleep. Rock chalk might just be poop.

And Danny Manning represents the one and only time a ballgame made me break something. I got mad enough at that Elite Eight comeback to kick in a few wooden slats of my childhood bedroom closet door.

King Hippo

Chris Mullin can also suck it.

/raises stinkeye @ Senor Weaselo

//remembers their past 2 decades, feels guilty

King Hippo

I did for a bit, then I thought “FSU has a ton of size, and surely Wahoowa ain’t going 18-0?”

If Hoos win tonight, I will toss a bill down ML for them to lose at home to VPI. Figure the odds will be right. Tonight I just ML bet Marquette @ Seton Hall and LSU @ Florida. Figure both are reasonable, 40-45% chance upset bids. Don’t like either home side.

But Wednesdays are bad luck for me, so trying to be chill.

Game Time Decision

This is very informative. As someone that drinks once or twice a week, and even then a drink or 2 tops, and hasn’t tried anything else, this explains much to me.

If alcohol and weed were reversed in acceptance, there’s no way that alcohol is ever made legal. Alcohol (and tobacco) are only accepted as they are grandfathered in.

Oh and Mrs GTM recently had surgery and got some Oxy. One side effect of Oxy is that you get constipated. I’ve got enough problems, i don’t need to be backed up as well.

King Hippo

It depends, really. Just like how it didn’t do much for Moose’s pain and made him feel generally bad (opposite for me), it doesn’t back me up, certainly not like, say, fried food does. But it certainly can.

Everybody is wired all different-like. And have a little kale, it’s surprisingly good so long as you don’t cook it.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I tried mescalin once and I ended up hiring Matt Millen.

nomonkeyfun

I would have thought that was more of a bath salts level decision.

rockingdog

I liked the info about weed.
Good stuff overall. Made me think of an article I read a while back….
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/02/09/trip-treatment

nomonkeyfun

Question for the Prof, and any of my classmates who may have knowledge.

Zoloft and Weed, would those be contraindicated?

Don’t worry about #not an MD, just wondering whether it is a hard no to use both at the same time. If it isn’t I won’t until I consult a doc in person.

nomonkeyfun

The psychological depressant effect of alcohol is no joke.

If anyone of you find yourselves going through a blue period, do not, I repeat do not attempt to use alcohol as a solvent. It might feel good for a little while, but in the long run(really not that long), it is likely to make the depression much more severe.

Just a little wisdom from my own personal experience.

nomonkeyfun

I didn’t realize until it was something I didn’t want to take a chance of being able to control in the future. Really fucking scary how bad it made feel.

Booze and benzos are the only two common drugs where the withdrawals can kill you. I think PCP can also, but I’m not sure about that. Don’t ever detox off alcohol or benzos without medical supervision.

If you go through opiate withdrawals, you will want to kill yourself, but you won’t actually die.

King Hippo

Opiate withdrawals, as Woodhouse noted, makes for an itchy, itchy weekend. Lots of ibuprofen and moderate quantities of Benadryl. Try not to be around ppl too much, even if not a recluse.

Unsurprised

It should be one of the substances I abstain from completely because I end up saying shit I shouldn’t too often when I drink.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Wakezilla

What do you mean I have a comment awaiting moderation! This must be Alberta!

comment image

litre_cola

Your coming muchacho and I am trying to move to BC for the wine!

SonOfSpam

I was gonna ask about whether any of your veterinary drugs can make sheep more amorous, but then I’m not Scottish.

Also, nicely done!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There is one that makes them ignore the sound of a zipper; close enough.

Unsurprised

I developed a tolerance to Soma super fast, which is probably for the best.

Wakezilla

Alberta has officially boycotted BC Wine. The really stupid first shot has been fired.

BC AND ALBERTA ARE GOING TO (ECONOMIC) WAR! I REPEAT! BC AND ALBERTA ARE GOING TO (ECONOMIC) WAR!

This is a pissing contest that will end so badly for Alberta’s NDP, the Alberta conservative party probably can’t even hide their erection right now.

comment image

Senor Weaselo

How is Personitoba taking it?
/Had to shoehorn a Trudeau joke in somehow

Wakezilla

That’s pretty good. He doesn’t know yet. He’s still checking his privilege before he selects a pair of funky socks that has a little bit of black in it.

Senor Weaselo

But what’s the story with two provinces having an economic war now?

litre_cola

They blocked a pipeline so now my province is being childish and stupid. We just had a pissing match with Saskatchewan about license plates at work sites. Very canadian.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

While we are at school.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Game Time Decision

I’m sure herpes is the least dangerous STD he has.

Unsurprised

There has to be a Klingon STD that causes your dick to explode.

Game Time Decision

more like your dick attacks you, and fights you to the deathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Also still on the Owl game high.

Wakezilla

Never really cared for weed. And now that they’re lacing it with a shit ton of fentynal, resulting in super casual users od’ing, it’s a little off putting.

The way my body has been lately, I think I’d choose pain killers. With that said, on good, non-painful type days, wine would be a hell of a drug to live off of.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0OVpyvey4U

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

I sure am getting a lot done “working” from home today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

One of the best android highs.

Unsurprised

I was listening to a podcast earlier about the high suicide rate among veterinarians and vet techs, and ooof, I do not envy your profession some times.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

But horse vagina tho.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Seriously though; in my personal dealings with various professions; veterinarians pretty much lead the pack (get it!) in terms of my respect, and that of my family.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some of them are even good to have pointless arguments about Joe Flacco with.

Unsurprised

You see more death than probably any profession. More than the human medical profession. That has to fuck with people. Having readily-accessible supplies of drugs that can kill people doesn’t help, and one vet was describing how the first thing he did when a tech overdosed was check his inventory (nothing was missing).

One social worker in Dallas who works for a vet set up a text hotline because apparently lots of these people are better at dealing with animals than people (I wish this were true. Animals hate me.) so it’s easier for them to talk to her over text than in-person or even voice calls.

Anyway, I don’t think it’s a coincidence any of us are here given how many of us work in high-stress professions. So that’s also to note, given today’s lesson, that drugs can be useful for fun and games, but self-medicating pain – physical or mental – or for similar reasons is not cool. It’s also worth noting that, how do I put this, we’re all in this together. So if that’s an issue, it doesn’t have to be.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

blaxabbath

Are you a vet TWBS? I want to push my unborn child into veterinary medicine and my question is, how can I force him to be a vet?

I’ll take your response off the air.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You may wait a few months first.

blaxabbath

Sounds like you weren’t pushed hard enough….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not true; he literally POPPED out of his mom.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dent? How about “cup-holder”? Sounds more betters.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

I bet you also have to spend more time dealing with and discussing money than you expected when you began.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The rural vets I encountered when I was a kid seemed to find it rewarding, but shit; it seemed like they worked 24/7. I know our family vet when he stayed up with my dog who was poisoned all night and saved her, I could thank enough, and he got about ten years worth of garden fresh vegables from our family. But that was a different world.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I always figured being a vet is a shitload tougher than being a human doctor because animals can’t tell you what the problem is.

King Hippo

apparently, “country vet” is the ideal recruit (left or right) for any political operative. I have heard that is the one way you reliably get people to cross the aisle.

blaxabbath

I HAVEN’T SEEN ACCESS TO A PAGE THIS EASY SINCE THE CLINTON CAMPAIGN PAID THE STEELE DOSSIER TO SAY THE PRESIDENT-ELECT’S FOREIGN POLICY TEAM WAS MADE UP OF WHOLLY UNQUALIFIED INDIVIDUALS WHO HAD BEEN PUBLICLY RECORDED BRAGGING ABOUT THEIR CONNECTIONS WITH MOSCOW AND THEN THE FISA COURT WENT ALL DEEP STATE!

Senor Weaselo

Oxy was a bit off-putting (I got it for wisdom teeth and gallbladder). When conscious my brain whirrs at ludicrous speed. Things that slow it down a little are fine, because then there’s a little less overthinking. But (on the rare occasions I didn’t shortly go to sleep) it just seemed like the whirring ground to a halt which was disconcerting.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

With the below statement I’d have to say my experience with perscription drugs is/ was very limited. Back in the day one could get Quaaludes (Methaqualone); to me that was a slurred speech, marshmallow, floppy buzz, which was fun, but I only did it two times. Not worth pursuing to me. My other experiences with painkillers for back and knee problem is that they made me feel like shit and didn’t do much at all for the pain.

Unsurprised

Cocaine is a Hell of a drug.

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Rick James approves.

Unsurprised

Rick James was an asshole.

SonOfSpam

There may be a connection.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Weight loss is not guaranteed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Can we do the ‘mind blown’ joke now?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

I want to believe this was intentional.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

I don’t really care for not being in control of my brain, either. That freaks me the fuck out. And I have never really trusted anyone enough to “take a trip” with them. But it takes different strokes to do the world, yes it does…

Pleasant euphoria is my reaction, too. Like being enveloped in a fuzzy, warm blanket.

Jesus turned water into wine, because he’s cool. God made fer weed and poppies to grow wild upon the earth, because He/She knows life fucking hurts, dude.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In control of your brain? I wouldn’t bet on it.

Unsurprised

😉

comment image

yeah right

You have a valid point in regards to people. The wrong people will not only fuck up a good trip it could seriously fuck with your world view.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I guess it really just opened my eyes to different perceptions of things and view points. From a world view thing; the thinking in my head was about how others and myself could perceive the same things differently. A means to make one’s imagination explore previously un-thought of areas. The people I was with were always good for some great laughs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

But that’s not Tasha Yar.

yeah right

I have a disagreement as far as the pros and cons of LSD. Experiments have had success with a possible treatment for Alzheimer’s and even some minor successes with catatonic patients. There is still way too much to learn before dismissing it entirely. Not to mention that with the right folks and the right environment the experience goes way beyond that of a “religious” experience. We’re talking borderline astral travel and shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s tripping balls, not tripping on balls.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK; we can have both. But if Balls was passed out in the hallway, one could easily trip over that.

ballsofsteelandfury

Wait, I’m a “that” now?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You always were.

One of thats people.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Archbackballs.

Senor Weaselo

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Our school assemblies were different.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog

hahahaha I saw that.
is religion a drug? will that be covered in the next class?

King Hippo

certainly can be

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The opiate of the masses……

yeah right

Speaking of possible bad trips…

Unsurprised

If it only sickened or killed these idiots, I’d be fine with this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

Speaking of walking bags of drugs.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog

Ummmmm….. is this going to be on the test?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

litre_cola

Yep if I had a choice it would be weed then wine. Experimented with LSD and X back in the day. X was expensive 20 years ago SO YOU KNOW ITS GOOD. RIGHT? RIGHT????

ballsofsteelandfury

Wine always gives me headaches. Don’t know why…

Unsurprised

Blackout concussions?

King Hippo

sulfites, see if organic reds are any better

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Big surprise; I experimented with just about everything but heroine or morphine. Hallucinations are fun.

The “newer” drugs like X, were after my experimental phase.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

yeah right

He ain’t lyin!

King Hippo

everything but THE GOOD STUFF!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Smoked opium laced hashish; so morphine before refinement. Whole grain morphine, if you will.

yeah right

Pure opium is like smoking a gooey ball of perfume.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Cough, cough, etc. but it was a nice mellow high mixed with hash. Didn’t feel good the next day.

yeah right

I had a bout with the heroin dragon. Just not for me. If you’re fighting the urge to vomit for the first hour then it’s not worth the fight in my opinion.