Hello, peoples of DFO. I am back from semi-sabbatical to provide hoopsball tourney coverage. Please, for the love of God, use whatever analysis comes out of Hippo’s ass for amusement purposes only. You have been sternly warned.
Warning #2 – this year’s selection show will tip off at 6p EST/5p DFO on TBS – I actually had to use teh Google I was so confused. At least I can put of finding truTV again until Tuesday night. That would have given me palpitations.
In advance, I will predict that the #1 seeds are clearly UVA, Nova, Kansas, and Xavier. Always a small chance Xavier gets bumped, but can’t imagine who would possibly do it. Arizona is on the naughty list, and their conference is shite.
As always, I have printed a blank bracket so I can fill it in as the 68 are announced…but the fuckers haven’t announced who plays who in the Final Four yet, so I can’t know how to arrange the stupid thing, unless there are clues on the show before the reveal. Dickmonkeys.
South: Once amateur hour at TBS finally ended, we see a pretty tough road for Wahoowa – should the #1 seed be some kind of advantage? Creigh-Creigh, Kentucky, and Arizona. That’s three sides with Top 10 potential when they play at their best. On the bottom side, Cincy should cruise to the Elite Eight, unless Da U gets super hot. As they might.
East: WVU and Scary Wheat could rough up Nova a beat, but I don’t see an upset here. In fact, the whole bracket is pretty much ass, if one doesn’t think much of Texas Tech or Florida (and I don’t). The committee really wants a Nova/Purdue matchup of guards v. Nazi big men.
Midwest: Kansas gets a rough bracket this year. Clemson would be a rough opponent in the Round of 16, and Seton Hall could even cause problems in Round Two. Duke is in the other half, with a murderer’s row of Rhode Island, Sparty, and TCU to contend with. Whoever comes out of here will have earned their ticket.
West: Xavier was presumably the last #1 seed, and they got the toughest overall bracket. That said, U*NC (the 2 seed) got the harder half, with Michigan, underseeded Houston (the winner of their really tough opening match v. San Diego State could go a long way), Texas A&M, and Providence – certainly has no easy outs after Lipscomb. But the Musketeers best not overlook Florida State nor Gonzaga in Rounds 2/3.
That’s that. Smack me in the head, I’d go with Cincinnati, Villanova, Michigan State, and Xavier.
If the world stopped rotating, we’d all be dead in less than a second from broken necks and severe whiplash.
Would our limp, broken bodies be hurled into space?
god willing
Actually, just those outside will be fine until they reach the atmosphere. Those inside will leave a smear when they slam into the wall going 1000 mph.
S-M-R-T
Oh, and the reveal-all-the-teams-first format is ass.
Agreed. Seems like we got very few of those awesome crowds-going-crazy moments.
I despise USC. But they got fuuuuuuucked. (Also: St. Mary’s – always shocking when the West Coast teams get fucked)
Yeah, Oklahoma is in, and not even one of the last four.
I would take USC over Oklahoma, easy. MTSU or ND over Syracuse.
Yep, definitely.
SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT PIZZA!
this is what you get with the starwipe network
I opted instead to watch random wrestling including Brandi Rhodes vs. Tenille Dashwood fka Emma. I feel like I made the right choice.
At least the one on the right has enough juice to have someone else take their picture.
(watching The Lion King)
Lively Pride Lands + Hyenas = Pride Lands Ruined
Hyenas = ____________
I’m afraid to solve for this one, for fear that it will make this movie racist.
Clearly, Hyenas = Military-Industrial Complex.
…actually that’s a borderline genius answer.
Hippo quickie analysis in the post now.
Nice to see this guy is actually Beelzebub.
Just say: “We want major brands in our tournament”
I need some help, and if this has been addressed before, my apologies. How are the play-in games not all four 16 seeds? How do you have a play-in game for an 11 seed?
I’ll hang up and listen.
Its so people will tune in. Personally, I want one to be two #1 seeds.
Of course, I can’t believe I was thinking about the integrity of the competition over television ratings. I feel so naive.
It’s almost like the entire system is subjective bullshit
I think all the play-ins should be the last 8 at-large bids. FUCK ’em. Look how weak they are.
Are they pumping anesthetics into the stands? I’ve seen louder crowds at libraries.
So, it’s Middle Tennessee that got screwed? Bummer. They were always good for an upset or two.
They weren’t even in First Four Out.
Weren’t they ranked until like last week?
“Xavier’s playing on Friday. This is their first #1 seed. Let’s cut to the players so we can see their… We don’t have a feed there. Okay, moving on.”
Go Rhode Island. Go Iona.
I can totally see Kansas losing to Penn.
FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Murray State is a baaaaaaad match-up for the Tracksuits.
Dammit.
Fuck you Kansas.
Cuse limps in!
I’m watching the bloviating empty suits on TWWL get the info second-hand and trying to pontificate on the selections.
Oklahoma and TX not even play-ins? Fuck off.
Wow, Cincy got a GREAT draw.
Yeah. As long as they don’t play in cruse control, I’m seeing Sweet 16 easy, maybe Elite 8.
THEY DIDN’T EVEN SHOW THE CELEBRATION?! WTF?!
This show needs moar Allie LaForce.
*Every
“All the force? OK. HARF HARF”
-B. Rongrastname
Kentucky and Davidson in Boise? Makes sense.
This NCAA Selection Show, I call it Monday Night Raw because it starts with 21 minutes of talking until they actual get to the action.
Oh, what a shocker. The Selection Committee chose Alabama.
Where’s the video of the teams that didn’t get in? I’d watch that.
The sad thing is a group of experts go together, decided to find the one thing that fans wasn’t interested in and get rid of it.
They chose the NCAA Bracket.
That’s like doing a porn with no sex scenes.
Who thought of this shit?!
This is like giving a high school senior a letter saying they were accepted to college, but not saying which school they were accepted to.
CBS did it the same way every year, and it was reliably done correctly.
Where are they showing the Selection Show?
TBS? Why?!
Not sure Oklahoma belongs in myself.
They do not.
Absolutely not.
TX and Oklahoma are both ridiculous. They suck ass.
Hell yeah. Selection Sunday!
Jesus, the committee sure has a hard-on for Syracuse.
Mike Brey gon’ whack some folks tonight I bet.
K-State in? Wowzers.
can’t even tell who’s in the fucking play-in
But it’s alphabetical! So logical!
I presume after the break, they’ll show the seedings.
But this is a really fucked up way to do this.
2018 really should be nuked from orbit.
TBS should get the death penalty for this show.
Indeed. Why the hell are they doing this this way?
ASU made it…holy shit.
Lipscomb: We’re very excited to be a #16 and get a free trip to Wichita.
Dayton, but, close enough.
What’s the difference?
not revealing as a bracket. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
OK, the audio ain’t matching up with the lips moving.
This annoys the shit outta me.
Damn amateur broadcasters. This is so annoying.
What the hell? Live audience?
probably lucky it’s not solely on twitter
WVU gets a four seed, Penn with a 15, maybe 14. I also guarantee WVU and Kentucky end up in the same region. The committee mandates Huggs and Calipari each other in March.
2nd Round again? Each could be 4/5
I hate having Will Ferrell on mah teevee box, even muted. God, he’s obnoxious.
But Kevin Hart and Craig T are both very lovable.
Cincinnati March Madness 1st Round Travel Distance
2016: Spokane, WA: 2082 miles
2017: Sacramento, CA: 2308 miles
If the Committee still hates Cincinnati, they’ll be first #2 seed that plays in Utqiaġvik, AK.
also NEVAR pray FOAR Hippo, God will start hating you too. Providence, Rhode Island, and Houston all in a row? And I only wanted this money for chilluns purposes, too. Too old/jaded for nefarious purposes no more.
How can God hate me more, Hippo? At this rate, He’s going to have to go Biblical on my ass to top the crapstain my life already is.
Mick Cronin is Herb Sendek’s “separated at birth” and way less charismatic twin.
Say what you want, but he’s the best coach in town.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_Crosstown_Shootout_brawl#Aftermath
I’m just teasing. I just feel sorry for anyone who looks like Sendek.
/check own head
//hair still there
Whew!!!!!!
I’m 30% there, but sadly my hairline has a sharp arc starting at 65% back, 5% at front and returning to 65%, so it looks like I have a hairpiece that slowly sliding off the back of my head.
I’ve been lucky in the hair department. It’s a little salt n pepper now, esp at the temples (which is why I keep it very short these days…shows less). But it’s still all there.
And your #1’s are solid.