Good afternoon students. Congratulations to those who advanced from the introductory course in this program. To all the transfer students from ITT Tech, the University of Phoenix & Southern New Hampshire University – welcome. I’m your professor – Dr. Robert Beer-Guy.

Thank you for accompanying me on this field trip. Welcome to our classroom, Parallel 49 Brewery. I have chosen this location not just because of our topic today and its wide discussion list of sampling materials, but also because they have built a food truck into where their garage door used to be,

which makes them an appealing stop on any brewery tour of Vancouver.

Also, my usual spot – Doan’s Craft Brewing – is just too damn small to contain all of us.

Before we begin – Mr. Wakezilla, you had a question from the previous lecture?

Wakezilla: I do sir. I possibly clutched my pearls a tad tight during the last lecture, but I might query your words in reference to your lack of preference for the grape. Isn’t “hate” too strong a word? I recall the words of this fine institution include phrasing such as, “this is a nice site, a place for civil discourse and dick jokes.” Such aggressive verbiage is normally reserved for all things Goodell, Bettman & Patriot.

Son, I appreciate your candor. Out of respect, I will give you similar respect when it comes to my response.

I grew up in a household that did not value quality wines. Rather, it was about quantity

or convenience,

over quality. My father routinely would bring Hochtaler on camping trips because, once the box was finished, the bladder inside could be used as a pillow.

Summer vacation – or, after I turned 12, summer jobs in his various northern Ontario mining camps – routinely involved sleeping outdoors using the barely-washed remains of Christmas parties past to keep my head off the stones.

Thus, I have developed an aversion to wine as powerful as that between Johnny Weir & vaginas. So, while I may be a distinguished professor of alcohols, I must admit I am nowhere near the alcoholic polymath achieved by Messers Nolte and Torn.

That being said, I will now invite you to shut your fucking gob and pay attention.

Remember: no refunds.

Beer:

In the last lecture, we discussed the relative pleasures of America’s favourite macrobrews. A salient point that wasn’t introduced at the time is that all those beers are of the “lager” variant. Therefore, in today’s lecture we will be discussing the lager family.

Essentially, all beers descend from one of two fermentation styles, top-fermentation or bottom-fermentation. No less than Popular Science has an in-depth breakdown for you, but suffice to say lager yeast requires a cooler temperature for fermenting, resulting in less surface foam than ale yeasts & more solids settling on the bottom during fermentation. This is what helps give lagers their cleaner, crisper flavour than ales. It’s all here in this infographic

and this handy chart from Aces High Liquor.

Now, I could go into pages of discussion about yeast origins and fermentation temperatures,

but let’s just discuss types of beer. As previously stated, today’s lecture will be about lagers. Our next session will be devoted to the Ale family.

Lagers:

Quoting the fine folks at Berghoff Beer, lager yeast strains don’t typically feature the fruity aromas and other flavors that the top-fermenting yeast in ales do. As a result, lagers tend to have a more crisp and cleaner flavor than their ale counterparts.

In addition, there’s a longer aging process to lagers than with ales, due to the cold fermentation. This will help the product avoid developing the unique flavours of ales. As a result, it can take several months for a lager to fully mature into a drinkable beer. It is also why some people eschew lager beers as ‘all tasting the same’.

Well, those people are fuckwads who live up their own ass.

Using this handy graphic from the dummies.com site, it breaks down the five families of Lager types:

Approximately 95% of people are familiar with the first family, but we will discuss all lager types, in order to help you understand what to choose and how to drink it.

1. Pale lagers

Going back to the Berghoff folks again, we will start with American Lagers. These are light-colored with delicate sweetness with an adjunct, which means corn or rice is added to the mix of barely when brewing. These are the basic beers that every American has grown up hearing and seeing commercials about.

But most microbreweries make a version of their own American Lager, because that’s what people come to expect when they order a “lager”. The fine folks over at the Beer Advocate even have a list of the Top-250 American Pale Lagers, many of which make me want to plan the road trip right now.

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Pilsner, as many of you know, originated in the Czech Republic. To again quote the Berghoff folks, many American beer companies strive for their flavor: a subtle maltiness yet crisp and refreshing with only a small bitterness. Pilsner stands out from other lagers due to its more distinctive hop taste. The advantage to this crisp taste is that it can be paired with almost any food.

The classic standard is Pilsner Urquell.

But again, you will find most craft breweries will make a Pilsner for discerning palates that want a taste beyond the lager standard. From experience, Sierra Nevada makes a tasty version.

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A Dortmunder is a Pilsner with a hint-more malt, essentially making it a local favourite designed to compete with the Czech import. In North America it’s made almost exclusively at the craft brewing level. The only macro-brewer to even attempt a variation on this is Pabst, with their Heileman’s Special Export brand.

Not to be confused with the Molson Export most (eastern) Canadians are familiar with,

which is actually a Blonde Ale, and thus doesn’t fall into the Lager category.

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Now, the good folks here at Parallel 49 brew their lager according to the “Munich Helles” variant of lager. (“Helles” means “bright”.) It has a deeper flavour than an American Light Lager, bordering on being an “amber” beer.

The difference between a Pilsner & a Munich Helles is that the Munich has more malt, to balance out the sharpness of the hoppier Pilsner taste. You’ve probably tried a Munich Helles before, without actually knowing it.

^{Like you read the label when you were 17.}

2. Amber (or “red”) lagers

Essentially, they just contain more malt than a regular lager, thus more tannins are extracted during the fermentation process, giving these lagers a redder colour than a traditional lager. You know the Big-2 in this category:

Beer Advocate considers it a “catch-all” category for beers that fall between Pale Lagers and Bocks. Enough said.

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However, going down to Vienna lagers brings a surprise. Although a traditionally Austrian varietal, immigrants from Europe popularized the brewing style in Mexico, likely as a result of questionable malt supplies.

Viennese brewing involves a three step decoction boiling process – which is essentially boiling the main mash, then separating it into thirds, boiling each third separately, and finally returning it into one general mash. This is intended to draw all of the flavours out of substandard malts, especially the tannins, ensuring value for money. The result is a dry, crisp taste to the beer and very low IBU count despite all of the production involved.

This has resulted in Dos Equis & Modelo being standards of a European brewing process not very common in Europe today.

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A Rauchbier is created by fire-drying hops over an open flame. Traditionally done with beechwood, the type of wood used will flavour the hops, giving each version of the beer a different taste based on the type of wood and amount of smoke used to dry the hops. (“Rauch” means “smoke”.) The effect is not unlike a peated or smoky Islay whisky, and is a very acquired taste. “Smoke & Dagger” by Jack’s Abby Brewing is the best-named of the brands I could find.

3. Bocks

From Hop Culture:

Originally brewed in the northern town of Einbeck during the fourteenth century, the style gradually moved south to the city of Munich by the seventeenth century. Due to subtle language differences between the north and south of Germany, the pronunciation of the beer from Einbeck was misconstrued by the Bavarians to sounds like “ein bock,” which means “billy goat” in German. Others believe it is more of a pagan or old world influence that the beer was only to be brewed during the sign of the Capricorn goat, hence the goat being associated with Bock beers. Basically, this beer was a symbol of better times to come and moving away from winter.

Either way, the name stuck, as did the image of a billy goat, which still adorns bock labels to this day.

Bock is a bottom fermenting lager, brewed in the fall after the harvest, and typically spends extra time in cold storage during the winter months to smooth the intense flavors that develop during the brewing process. I believe we’re all familiar with the standard American version:

Shiner is brewed year-round, obviously, because of their high demand & market share. Sam Adams has a range of bock beers,

and the more I looked into the craft brewing participants, the more great names I found for this tasty product.

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The remaining sub-categories of Bock beers are, for the most part, variants on the original recipe:

• The Maibock / Helles style of beer tends to be lighter in color than other Bock beers. (“Helles” means “bright” in German.) It is hoppier than most other bock beers, but containing about the same alcohol percentage.
  • It stores longer & is usually served in May – the “Mai” in the title.

• A Dopplebock is heavier on the malts than regular bocks. The deep-amber through almost-black colour of a Dopplebock comes from the tannins extracted from the malt. The darker the beer, the more malty the taste.
  • A standard Dopplebock should run between 7-9% ABV, and taste thick enough to chew. It’s traditional moniker is ” a meal in a glass”.

• An Eisbock is the barleywine of Bock beers. It’s created by freezing off a portion of the water, and removing it from the beer, then stored & eventually bottled. The effect is not-unlike cask-storing whisky, where the “angel’s share” helps increase the concentration.
  • The average alcohol by volume (ABV) range is 9.0-15.0%, with a standard being about 12%. This requires an experienced palate, because it’s going to be a chore finishing off the standard 500 ml bottle.

4. Dark lagers

A relatively old style of lager, most pre-1800 European lagers were dark lagers because all malts were dark and/or hard carbonate waters made brewing dark beers easier on the available yeast strains of the day. It results in a full-bodied beer with red hues in the drinking. Since most of these beers were brewed in and around Munich, the Munich Dunkel (“dark”) became the standard dark lager.

Although the two rated-favourites in North America are from New Belgium Brewing & Leinenkugel

the majority of dark lagers found in North America are imports from Europe.

Likewise, the next step down from Dunkel is Schwarzbier (“shvahrts-beer”), which is simply German for “black beer”. Sam Adams makes a schwarzbier

and Pabst owns McSorley’s Irish Black Lager. But for my money, and knowing this site’s canine preferences, I’m going to use Rahr & Sons “Ugly Pug” black lager, because it’s an awesome name & logo.

5. Specialty lagers

This is where the Portland comes out in a craft brewer. (I’m not sure what the East Coast version is; Portland has been craft brewing so long it’s become synonymous with pretentious concoctions.)  A brewer can go lager or ale with these because they serve as the base for whatever flavour combinations the brewer choose to infuse/mix/ferment into the beer.

A shandy is your standard lager-fruit combination, because summer + lemonade = fun,

but one can also find apricot, grapefruit, pear and raspberry as lager flavours.

Outside of fruit beers, Sam Adams does occasionally market a smoked lager

which tastes as you’d expect – it’s a beer that’s been infused with smoke during the brewing process via smoked hops. If you like smoky whisky then you’ll be down with this. Myself, I don’t care for it, but I can see the attraction.

Otherwise, most herbed & spiced, smoke and “Winter Warmer” beers are usually ales, always done up quite fancy with “hints” and “essences” and “extracts”, and will possibly be covered in the next lecture – depending upon my mood.

Meal pairings:

Now, when it comes to deciding which lager goes with which type of meal, preference is really up to the individual. Me? Well, I tend to use a hamburger as the dividing line.

A solid bacon cheeseburger can be enjoyed with any type of lager. It’s from this point, however, where the decision-making process comes in:

• Lighter fare, from hot dogs all the way up to fish, would generally call for a light lager or Pilsner. You want a crisp beer to allow you to enjoy the product without feeling weighed down.
  • Also, pizza, and pasta with a cream sauce.
  • Think of attending a baseball game. You don’t want to pair that Nathan’s with a dark beer on a hot day. It just makes everything more of a chore.

• Heavier fare, like steak & ribs, goes better with a dark lager. (Or an ale.)
  • It’s also an after dinner, evening sipping beer. If you don’t like port, a Bock is a delightful alternative.

This concludes the lecture on lagers. I hope you found it informative, and are willing to try something new the next time Krystofer from marketing invites the gang out for drinks after work.

Now, you will notice I’ve asked Clarissa to bring you over a flight of beers to sample.

I’m not going to talk about beer without letting you sample it.

You are being provided, from left-to-right, the   

• Munich Helles Craft Lager
• Ruby Tears Northwest Red Ale
• Black Hops Cascadian Dark Lager
• Trash Panda IPA

Please – sip, swallow & enjoy. When we return, we will discuss the Ale section of the course.

Questions will be answered in the comments section. Good day.